Celebrity Meghan Markle / Rachel Meghan Markle / Meghan, Duchess of Sussex / Meghan Sussex / The Alliterate One - Markle Snarkle

[duckling]

Lol at tone policing on kiwifarms. anyways, massive instagram dump. Each line of photos is a group of a post.

@meghan :




This next one was a reel but I have an absolute devil of a time posting videos to kiwifarms, they always stall out at 99% or fail to embed. This was filmed in Meghan's kitchen and Doria makes an appearance: https://www.instagram.com/p/DH8IEXJxVH5/






@aseverofficial

 

[Potatis Salad]

@John Andrews Stan already mentioned this NYT article "Inside Meghan's Real Kitchen, Away from the Cameras" (archive) above, but I have some more autism to contribute. I didn't think this chick was a lolcow until she started flailing with the podcast and the American Riviera Orchard and now this hilarious TV show. She tries so hard to find a personality and she just can't. OK, from the article:

Meghan started cooking for friends as an undergraduate at Northwestern University, with a Rachael Ray recipe for grilled cheese sandwiches upgraded with fontina cheese and sliced pears. “At 20, in a tiny little apartment in Evanston, serving that sandwich and a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck — that was when Trader Joe’s was getting big — we all thought it was so fancy,” she said.

She was born in August 1981. She would have turned 20 in August 2001.

1. The Rachael Ray recipe for fontina grilled cheese debuted on 30 Minute Meals in April 2003, just before Meghan graduated from Northwestern.
2. Charles Shaw aka "Two Buck Chuck" did not debut until 2002
3. There was no Trader Joe's close to Northwestern University in 2001. The closest one was in Lincoln Park, 13 miles away.

So, Meghan definitely didn't cook the Rachael Ray grilled cheese recipe in 2001, but it's possible that she did it in 2003, in the six weeks between the recipe's TV debut and her graduation. She could have made the 26-mile round trip to Lincoln Park to buy a bottle of Two Buck Chuck to serve with it. But...she didn't. She wants it to be true that she's ~always loved to cook for friends~, so she put together this little story and added details for verisimilitude.

As a self-described latchkey kid, whose parents were divorced, Meghan loved to pick up fast food — Jack in the Box curly fries were a favorite — and go home to watch back-to-back cooking shows on Food Network.

Can't prove it but I'm also skeptical of this. Food Network debuted in 1993, but did a black single mom working as a travel agent and living in the hood (Crenshaw) really have cable?

A hundred miles north — and a world away — from her grandmother’s kitchen, Meghan rinsed strawberries from the garden, sliced and macerated them in sugar, lemon juice and zest to layer in with the pudding and banana slices.

Lemon juice in banana pudding is fucking disgusting, dawg.

 

[duckling]

Can't prove it but I'm also skeptical of this. Food Network debuted in 1993, but did a black single mom working as a travel agent and living in the hood (Crenshaw) really have cable?

Small point, Meghan was largely abandoned by Doria around age 9 and was thereafter raised by her father. I assume he would have had cable as he was deeply involved in the TV industry.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

@duckling you should be getting triple pay for posting her IG content.

Don’t most of us wear white linen trousers, a white sweater and literally $300,000 worth of jewelry to do the gardening? #relatable

I can’t really get past how basic bitch all of these products are. Every single one of them has been done better and more affordably. She really doesn’t have a single creative bone in her body.

In the Inc interview she mentions Netflix’s product licensing for Bridgerton (they’ve saturated the market with product tie-ins for that show, guaranteeing I will never watch it). That makes me wonder if we’re going to see a separate With Love, Meghan product line, perhaps housewares, barwear, etc. Maybe a fragrance (celebrity image licensing for perfumes are a massive paycheck for all concerned). Such a line would be disconnected from As Ever and not really make sense, but that’s her usual way of doing things.

 

[Hubelublub]

Lol at tone policing on kiwifarms

It's not tone policing, it's no one wanting one single poster to overtake a thread with their recurring blog posts. I also don't want to read a thread full of some faggot getting shitty with anyone who disagrees with them, it's retarded and boring and very very gay.

The point is to make fun of MM because she's a great lolcow, not to get so invested in her lore that you pick fights with anyone with a different take.

 

[obsdj]

It's not tone policing, it's no one wanting one single poster to overtake a thread with their recurring blog posts. I also don't want to read a thread full of some faggot getting shitty with anyone who disagrees with them, it's retarded and boring and very very gay.

The point is to make fun of MM because she's a great lolcow, not to get so invested in her lore that you pick fights with anyone with a different take.

I agree with you in general and would hate for a well-sourced, well-collaborated lolcow thread to turn into a dicksucking thread about who has more subject lore than the rest of us peons, cough cough, so in the interest of remaining on topic, Meghan is an asshole and I would not have sex with her amirite?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Believe it or not, this is a thread about Meghan Markle, not your feelings.

Actual thread-relevant update: A new Us Weekly interview completely writes Meghan’s father out of her life.

Before tying the knot with Prince Harry in 2018 and becoming a household name, Meghan grew up in Los Angeles and was raised by her mother, Doria Ragland.

Donations to Sentebale, in support of Sophie Chandauka, are being encouraged.

 

[Hubelublub]

Believe it or not, this is a thread about Meghan Markle, not your feelings.

Personally, I love the tiles and blue wood of the island.

I really don’t care for the politics of food propagated by that crowd

I do like Waters’ book

Personally I prefer deeper and more striking shades of green (hunter, petrol

I like the off-the-shoulder and bateau necklines

When I was a literal child, I was in the mood for a sweet treat (a phrase that makes me gag after M abused it the last month or two) but we didn’t have any butter or cocoa. I discovered a recipe for crêpes in an old Betty Crocker cookbook and was amazed how easy they were. I was no older than 10.

More about MM, less about you. I don't give a shit about either of you, but MM is a much more rewarding lolcow.

 

[Ghostse]

ETA: Meghan’s team told the NYT the wrong prices, and People is also reporting pricing of products between $12 and $28. On her website the spreads are priced at $9 and $14, not $12 and $15. Seems like a last minute change but it’s still overpriced.

Per NYT, she’s priced her spreads at $12 and $15 (for the “keepsake packaging”). This is for a teensy jar much smaller than the average, without organic fruit (and it’s not from her “orchard” à la Duchy Originals being from Highgrove produce) and NDAs have been signed to keep the location of manufacturing secret.

Duchy Originals, organic and made from King Charles’ own fruit retails for $8.99 for 12 ounces. M is charging $12 to $15 for 7.4 ounces of her basic bitch factory glop.

This should go down well.

She told the NYT her freezer is full of chicken nuggets, veggie burgers and tater tots for her kids. People are clutching their pearls about this, which is understandable but a bit much. Who cares?

The Times piece also says “she is still figuring out her public identity, while pitching it to a global audience.”


It seemed like you didn’t bother to read the thread since I already explained this days before you shat it up.

Her brand is A Sever? What is this? Some sort of Tranny shit?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Her brand is A Sever? What is this? Some sort of Tranny shit?

Meghan only cuts off parents, siblings and “best friends.”

Centering text: How does it work?



It’s just been announced that Harry’s security case will be held in open court next week. He is going to have a hell of a time dealing with media when he gets to the UK. I could see him chickening out and staying home while his lawyers handle it all. But I suspect M would rather he go and stop harshing her post-launch narc buzz.

 

[duckling]

Her brand is A Sever? What is this? Some sort of Tranny shit?

It is now. Move aside moonbump, there's a new penis in town.

Actually it's an unintentional reference to how she cuts everybody who can't help her climb the social ladder out of her life.

 

[Clownish]

Genuinely the female boomer alogs are cinema. They have a whole genre of Tarot Card reading on Meghan Markle.

"Hmm, the cards are telling me that Meghan is a stupid bitch."

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Genuinely the female boomer alogs are cinema. They have a whole genre of Tarot Card reading on Meghan Markle.

"Hmm, the cards are telling me that Meghan is a stupid bitch."

Some of them also think they discovered basic PR planning and that it’s some dark, nefarious plot rather than SOP for the past 100+ years.

noshit.jpg:

 

[James Brown]

Lol at tone policing on kiwifarms.

Tone-policing? No, it's hilarious to be in the most feminine thread and see catty, reddit-tier behavior on every other post for like 2 pages. Like people are sperging over jam. I'm sensing either faggots or BPDs in the room!

To make this about Meggies

She wants it to be true that she's ~always loved to cook for friends~, so she put together this little story and added details for verisimilitude.

Her retconning her whole life history to fit her current role, a tradwife LARP, is so fucking funny. I thought she was a girl boss, here to break barriers like Diana? And that distance from the BRF was going to give her so much independence? Yet here she is playing Suzy Homemaker, fulfilling the exact same role you'd associate with a female royal. Not working, not contributing, plain-ass rich mommy influencer style, even Kim K stand more on her business. This bitch offers nothing. She literally did more standing in heels, holding a fake suitcase and trying to suck off that bald kike Howie.

 

[Gorilla Tessellator II]

Here are the ingredients for her $14, non- organic mixes. (Use your own eggs and oil.) Her profit margins on these will be massive.

I am genuinely surprised that the ingredients are not organic. This was supposed to be a Californian brand, highly elevated. And there is no gluten-free version? If I was a MM fan, I would be sorely disappointed that she doesn't think about her customers possible sensitivities.

And also this: "Vanilla Powder (Dextrose, Vanilla Extractives, Vanillin)".
I personally hate artificial vanilla taste.
Conclusion: not only is this bitch utterly dumb, but also super stingy.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I am genuinely surprised that the ingredients are not organic. This was supposed to be a Californian brand, highly elevated. And there is no gluten-free version? If I was a MM fan, I would be sorely disappointed that she doesn't think about her customers possible sensitivities.

She invested in the drinks brand Clevr in 2020 and they were targeted by parasites who file Prop 65 lawsuits against every possible CPG company. It’s was the only time I’ve felt sorry for since her father sold her out to the paparazzi.

And also this: "Vanilla Powder (Dextrose, Vanilla Extractives, Vanillin)".
I personally hate artificial vanilla taste.
Conclusion: not only is this bitch utterly dumb, but also super stingy.

It’s egregious profiteering considering the price points. These are completely generic products, not organic or “sustainably sourced” or in eco-friendly packaging. Between that and the completely confidentiality of where they were manufactured, it’s just a blatant money grab to charge so much.

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

zero information about ingredients

She's getting into this at the wrong time. With the tariffs going into effect, theres going to be spending reductions. No ones going to be shelling out $14 for a crepe mix from a new brand and thats assuming her junk won't be affected by it anyway.

Re: Tea:
Didn't Null just go on a rant about this on MATI? Tea & coffee snobs only order from specific niches places that only carry certain specific products that they like. They're sensory autists who obsess over what field and season it was picked in and what temp it was roasted or dried at.
Herbal 'tea' isn't considered real tea by purists anyway, so she's competing with the rest of the mass market for beverages which has been oversaturated for more than a decade on top of being difficult market to begin with. As Ever tea would be compared Sleepy Time Tea or Lipton even if it isn't bagged.

All glass jars can be considered "keepsake" since they can be reused. This is nothing new. I recall putting sea shells in a glass milk jug and calling it a 'keepsake' that sat on my desk when I was a kid.
Bonne Maman comes in an polygon angled container and its 1/3 of the price with more jam and brand recognition anyway.
"As Evers" best outcome is that it get sold in Hallmark stores as an overpriced novelty gifts that will end up on an elementary school teachers' desk.

Megans line belongs next to Belle Delphine cookies. Its fake luxury.

Edit: $20 honey?! Wildflower honey can be purchased at your local farmers market. Its going to be much better & supports your local economy. The organic hippies and granola folks value authenticity & won't touch something as fake as Megan.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

$20 honey?!

No, $28 honey! The marketing strongly implies it’s from Meghan’s own bees, but it’s not.

Per the Telegraph:

A well-placed source told The Telegraph that the items would be made available in small quantities and quickly marked as sold out to generate interest, which is a common marketing ploy.

The only people buying this will be her fans. I don’t think she has enough of them to meet her goal of becoming a billionaire, as another source told the Telegraph.

As Ever also announced a new COO today, Melissa Kalimov (founder of RISE Brewing). She’s a young hire who wisely wiped her entire Instagram profile before the news broke.

 

[duckling]

Genuinely the female boomer alogs are cinema. They have a whole genre of Tarot Card reading on Meghan Markle.

I have never seen this and am desperate for examples to lol at, please share

 

[Gorilla Tessellator II]

I start to believe that someone from MM team at As If I am a Royalty ™, is trolling her hard. Or has just rotten brain.
I just noticed something: the crepe mix has this awful "Vanilla Powder (Dextrose, Vanilla Extractives, Vanillin)" and the very first of the Tips for Enjoyment suggests:

1. Date night with your beloved
A chic dinner for one or a romantic meal, filled with ham and cheese, and paired with a glass of Pinot.

Don't you just love to eat your ham and cheese with fucking artificial vanilla aftertaste? Well, if you don't I guess you are just not elevated.

Note that clearly your beloved can be just yourself, because that's what dinner for one implies. How very appropriate, Meghan!