Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 790 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,389
New Cooking with Jack:

LAZY MAN'S HONEY BAKED HAM​

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Published on 2025-04-04 | Archived on 2025-04-04
In this mouthwatering video, we’ll guide you through the simple steps to create your own delicious honeybaked ham right in your kitchen! Starting with a high-quality, bone-in ham, we'll whip up a sweet and savory glaze featuring honey and brown sugar and more. we bake it to juicy, golden perfection. Perfect for holidays, family gatherings, or just a cozy Sunday dinner, this homemade version rivals any store-bought ham with its irresistible aroma and tender, flavorful bite. Follow along and impress your loved ones with a showstopping centerpiece that’s easier to make than you think!


HERE IS MY LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/jakatak
COOKING WITH JACK MERCH: https://jakatak-shop.fourthwall.com/collections/cooking-with-jack
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I see that brown sugar and pineapple juice are now considered carnivore
 
You should've included the other image too
Full size:
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Jack backhandedly complimenting Garrett:
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Fuck that looks rancid.

And Jr is the hardest worker he knows? Well compared to Fatty he might be but that's not a very high bar to jump over.

New Cooking with Jack:

LAZY MAN'S HONEY BAKED HAM​

View attachment 7177520
Published on 2025-04-04 | Archived on 2025-04-04
In this mouthwatering video, we’ll guide you through the simple steps to create your own delicious honeybaked ham right in your kitchen! Starting with a high-quality, bone-in ham, we'll whip up a sweet and savory glaze featuring honey and brown sugar and more. we bake it to juicy, golden perfection. Perfect for holidays, family gatherings, or just a cozy Sunday dinner, this homemade version rivals any store-bought ham with its irresistible aroma and tender, flavorful bite. Follow along and impress your loved ones with a showstopping centerpiece that’s easier to make than you think!


HERE IS MY LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/jakatak
COOKING WITH JACK MERCH: https://jakatak-shop.fourthwall.com/collections/cooking-with-jack
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That was revolting.

I see that brown sugar and pineapple juice are now considered carnivore
Don't forget the massive amount of honey.
 
New Cooking with Jack:

LAZY MAN'S HONEY BAKED HAM​

View attachment 7177520
Published on 2025-04-04 | Archived on 2025-04-04
In this mouthwatering video, we’ll guide you through the simple steps to create your own delicious honeybaked ham right in your kitchen! Starting with a high-quality, bone-in ham, we'll whip up a sweet and savory glaze featuring honey and brown sugar and more. we bake it to juicy, golden perfection. Perfect for holidays, family gatherings, or just a cozy Sunday dinner, this homemade version rivals any store-bought ham with its irresistible aroma and tender, flavorful bite. Follow along and impress your loved ones with a showstopping centerpiece that’s easier to make than you think!


HERE IS MY LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/jakatak
COOKING WITH JACK MERCH: https://jakatak-shop.fourthwall.com/collections/cooking-with-jack
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Step 1: Buy a fully cooked spiral cut ham
 
Fuck that looks rancid.

And Jr is the hardest worker he knows? Well compared to Fatty he might be but that's not a very high bar to jump over.

Well, also who else does he know that works? TamHam sometimes works from home so that automatically makes her a lazy lump of shit, Medium Tammy probably doesn't talk to him about anything because she knows it will be put on the Internet, and Jack has no friends to talk to.
 
I see that brown sugar and pineapple juice are now considered carnivore

Your eyes deceive you, Hulkster: Jack used an erythritol sugar substitute in place of brown SHUGUR for the sake of his diabetes, along with an entire jar of honey, a cup of pineapple juice, and whatever sugar was already present in the pre-cooked ham his recipe for ham calls for. I'm sure he compensated for any non-carnivore ingredients by eating an entire, bleeding chuck roast, rotisserie chicken, and/or 2 lb block of cheese diced into cubes by Tammy; so that his intake for the day would be in upwards of 85% carnivore/fructose/glucose.

I CANT COOK EITHER TAMMY.png

Given the turkey recipe would require a pre-cooked whole turkey, I'm going with "neither", you useless garbage bag of simple syrup for blood, looking down on the world from your pair of atrophied cadaver tendons which could have been donated to a more deserving dog to chew on. JESUS IS RISEN, GUIZE.
 
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It's also worth pointing out that his youngest son is in his mid 20s, and his grandkid isn't born yet. He hasn't had a reason to have this shit on the TV in his home in 20 fucking years other than clapping like a retard while stuffing badly cooked chuck roast and cheese(or whatever other snacks mommy-wife bought for him) into his face because he doesn't do anything all day.
Honestly, anything else on normal TV stations (which boomers can’t give up) in the 10am-12 noon timeslot is just going to make Jack angy because of globohomo, wolk agendas, and other crackpot church lady worries. Childrens shows are his safe space.
That bottom steak looks vile too. It's so pink it's like a steak for zombies.
You flatworm! That steak was prepared by an iron chef wining contestant,
 
He gives me the impression that he was badly mistreated as a kid. Has he ever spoken about his childhood much? The way he apologizes out loud for no reason, when he does something like drops something that bothers no one but him, is one reason I think that. And I'm not sure actually why else, but I really think he was mistreated/abused as a child, with things like harsh, humiliating punishments for small things. I can feel pity for the child Jack, but not the person in front of us today, though, bc of what a trash heap of a person he is.
One of Jack’s favorite responses to criticism is to compare the critic to his mother. “THX MOM”, “already had one mom, don’t need another”. Jack has alluded to food insecurity, most recently during his boomercon posting where he brings up that he and his family were on food stamps growing up, but by golly they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. There is also somewhat obscure lore (and I am not sure about the provenance of this) that Jack’s mom would send him to the attic to eat turkey necks. Basically everything about Jack points to mommy issues. Charles doesn’t seem much better, he just channeled it into other pursuits. And then of course there is the gay brother Jim…
 
New Cooking with Jack:

LAZY MAN'S HONEY BAKED HAM​

View attachment 7177520
Published on 2025-04-04 | Archived on 2025-04-04
In this mouthwatering video, we’ll guide you through the simple steps to create your own delicious honeybaked ham right in your kitchen! Starting with a high-quality, bone-in ham, we'll whip up a sweet and savory glaze featuring honey and brown sugar and more. we bake it to juicy, golden perfection. Perfect for holidays, family gatherings, or just a cozy Sunday dinner, this homemade version rivals any store-bought ham with its irresistible aroma and tender, flavorful bite. Follow along and impress your loved ones with a showstopping centerpiece that’s easier to make than you think!


HERE IS MY LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/jakatak
COOKING WITH JACK MERCH: https://jakatak-shop.fourthwall.com/collections/cooking-with-jack
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Someone should ask him if this would be good for Passover during hanging with Jack tomorrow morning
 
I had an epiphany earlier while reading about wendigos in folklore. I'm convinced that Jack and Guga are possessed by Wendigos, but Jack's is clearly an Algonquin wendigo which is said to be of an endless hunger and a heart made of ice, but crucially for this explanation of his life, lacks wisdom of any kind. Guga, on the other hand, is clearly the host of a wechuge. A wechuge is a similar being of Athabaskan folklore, but while also possessing an insatiable hunger also possesses the wisdom of the ancient spirits.

I think, more than anything, this explains the difference between the two men. After all, they both do absolutely terrible things in the kitchen with expensive tools and sometimes questionable ingredients but because Guga is possessed by a being with ancient wisdom it allows him to actually make edible (and apparently delicious) food where Jack makes the equivalent of pig slop.
 
He gives me the impression that he was badly mistreated as a kid. Has he ever spoken about his childhood much? The way he apologizes out loud for no reason, when he does something like drops something that bothers no one but him, is one reason I think that. And I'm not sure actually why else, but I really think he was mistreated/abused as a child, with things like harsh, humiliating punishments for small things. I can feel pity for the child Jack, but not the person in front of us today, though, bc of what a trash heap of a person he is.
He was obviously verbally abused. At some point, someone in his life told him he is in the way or not wanted. Either by mommy dearest or his brothers. That is pretty evident with the way Charles talks to him and belittles him. Jack seeks his approval; changing views to match Charles’ and over the top laughing when Charles hints that he’s trying to make a joke.
 
In Jack's defense (can't believe I'm saying that), wasn't there a thing a few years ago with a literal gay pride parade in it? Complete with pooner otters with masectomy scars. Shit's demonic.
I mean, Jack's complaints about wokeness are just for the existence of gay and black people because he says other openly woke movies are not woke like Snow White. He doesn't have critical thinking skills at all
 
New Cooking with Jack:

LAZY MAN'S HONEY BAKED HAM​

View attachment 7177520
Published on 2025-04-04 | Archived on 2025-04-04
In this mouthwatering video, we’ll guide you through the simple steps to create your own delicious honeybaked ham right in your kitchen! Starting with a high-quality, bone-in ham, we'll whip up a sweet and savory glaze featuring honey and brown sugar and more. we bake it to juicy, golden perfection. Perfect for holidays, family gatherings, or just a cozy Sunday dinner, this homemade version rivals any store-bought ham with its irresistible aroma and tender, flavorful bite. Follow along and impress your loved ones with a showstopping centerpiece that’s easier to make than you think!


HERE IS MY LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/jakatak
COOKING WITH JACK MERCH: https://jakatak-shop.fourthwall.com/collections/cooking-with-jack
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I completely agree with not bothering to give a direct youtube link to this beyond worthless video in this case. Fat Jack the Hack doesn't goddamn deserve a single hatewatch view or dislike to pad his metrics with something this lame.

It's all I'll even bother to say about this waste of bandwidth.
One of Jack’s favorite responses to criticism is to compare the critic to his mother. “THX MOM”, “already had one mom, don’t need another”. Jack has alluded to food insecurity, most recently during his boomercon posting where he brings up that he and his family were on food stamps growing up, but by golly they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. There is also somewhat obscure lore (and I am not sure about the provenance of this) that Jack’s mom would send him to the attic to eat turkey necks. Basically everything about Jack points to mommy issues. Charles doesn’t seem much better, he just channeled it into other pursuits. And then of course there is the gay brother Jim…
Oh no, I was referencing Treehouse of Horror by commenting that Jack was up in the attic gnawing on turkey necks like a dog as a shitpost. It's a nod to Bart's good twin Hugo. I just thought it was fitting that Jack unironically would nibble on shit like turkey necks whole or the cartilage of wings. It just reminded me of the fish heads in a bucket that he was fed.

He still is clearly food insecure, and still allegedly just ate straight turkey necks.
 
Every time I see Jack's thread repopulate due to activity, my first thought is 'has this fucker finally bit the dust?'

Then I click in and learn that he is in fact not dead, and somehow continuing to live off half-cooked abominations he calls meals.

Maybe i'm the retard for expecting different results.
Jack will never die, once his brains die, the salmonella colony will take over his bodily functions
 
One of Jack’s favorite responses to criticism is to compare the critic to his mother. “THX MOM”, “already had one mom, don’t need another”. Jack has alluded to food insecurity, most recently during his boomercon posting where he brings up that he and his family were on food stamps growing up, but by golly they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. There is also somewhat obscure lore (and I am not sure about the provenance of this) that Jack’s mom would send him to the attic to eat turkey necks. Basically everything about Jack points to mommy issues. Charles doesn’t seem much better, he just channeled it into other pursuits. And then of course there is the gay brother Jim…
Don't forget that the only thing Jack's mom left him as a legacy was a glass Pyrex pan. The one he used in the party cheese salad if I remember correctly.
 
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