Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Pig Cups]

Once she was in the supermarket with him, being pushed in a wheelchair by Jack's step-father. I've seen this video a couple times but can't find it now, argh.

Gotchu, fren

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Songs I’d like to see played at Jack’s funeral:
>”What What (In The Butt)” - Samwell
>”Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead” - 1939 recording
>the soundtrack to 2 Girls 1 Cup [as the casket is carried out of the church and down to the hearse]
>”Whoomp! (There It Is)” - Tag Team [as the casket is lowered into the earth]
>”Ring Of Fire” - Johnny Cash
>”We Bring The Boom” - A.J. & Big Justice
>”MDMA GOT ME FEELING FKING HORNY” - Pinotello
>”Diarrhea Runs In The Family” - The Bloodhound Gang
>the audio from that video made by a crazed fan of Steve Vai’s to commemorate his birthday (she sings the song, then blows the candle out with her vag before spending another solid 2 minutes queefing for the viewer)

How would YOU deejay Jack’s grand sendoff?

Jesus Christ Jack... well, at least he's standing. After catching up on the last several hundred pages I was thoroughly convinced he had lost that ability.

First- welcome back! Haven’t seen you ‘round these parts in a while, TKQ. Second…that’s an old picture. I recall it showing up waaaay back in the thread, well before Jackoff’s most recent hospitalization.

 

[LifeAlert]

How would YOU deejay Jack’s grand sendoff?

only two songs will be played at jackass's funeral. the first will be the jack on the go intro music as service begins. normally this is where the bereaved would speak but in jackass's case there would be crickets. as the forklift carrying jackass's casket slowly accelerates toward the grave, the copyright free drum beat will be played at max volume. once he gets dropped in the football field sized hole that hammy paid to have dug for him, business is concluded and jack jr goes home

 

[soulless guarantee]

I hope (heh) fatty croaks or gets even more disabled that they can't take care of Hope anymore and give her away to a better family so she has a few good years in the end.
Circle of protection on Hope and fuck Jack and his sicko family

Hope's lifestyle would barely change if Jack croaks. He's surely not the one to feed her, take her out on walks, or even just open the back door so she can shit in the yard. She'd probably just wonder where the semi-sentient gurgling bowling ball glued to the sofa went.

 

[biggacracka]

Hope's lifestyle would barely change if Jack croaks. He's surely not the one to feed her, take her out on walks, or even just open the back door so she can shit in the yard. She'd probably just wonder where the semi-sentient gurgling bowling ball glued to the sofa went.

I was thinking that they only keep her cause jack wants to keep her, despite not doing any of the work. It's his mascot after all so if he's gone, they don't have any incentive to keep her

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

This is why I also always have MSG even though there are "better" ways of getting the same results. I always have tons of savory (muh "umami") around, like Worcestershire, fish sauce (multiple kinds), anchovy paste, Vegemite (severely underrated), soy sauce (light and dark), tamari, dashi, mushrooms, I've sort of become a hoarder.

But just pure MSG? There's really no substitute if you really want that strip mall takeout taste, which I do sometimes.

I recommend Spike seasoning, Cavendish, and Vegeta.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

One bite for Tammy maybe. Who the fuck is he kidding with this post. He really thinks people buy that blatant lie? They order all that food and he just takes 1 bite out of each? And then what, Tammy eats the rest? Goddamn she must eat a lot

Himself. The only person dumb enough to fall for it….

I think that was back when he was still trying to half-assedly use Hope as a mascot and asset for the show. Back before he got too pissed at having to deal with a dog that was not trained to handle cues and just wants to be with people. Back when he just started leaving her in that fucking harness.

And as for Jack marinating a cut of meat in Dr. Pepper or boiling it in it? It's actually not a shabby liquid base for pork and beef, though that'd be for something like a rub or barbecue.

For chinese style velveting? Hahaha no what the fuck.

IMO Jack was likely inspired by actual chef, actual likable guy, and actual audience having chef Darren McGrady, who worked a Corgy angle into his YouTube persona. Of course a dog had no place in the kitchen so a muppet was used. Jack even stole the barking .wav right down to the timing in the intro in the hopes that the views thinks “oh right doggos too. Must be safe to watch”.

Of course the difference here is that Darren is a credentialed master chef that spent a career in famous kitchens cumulating with cooking for the queen of England and the royal family before departing for the colonies.


It’s funny that Junior and Tammy Junior regularly adopt problem dogs in the same hope (punny!) that their own family will notice them as Jack does with a dog with his audience,

Darren is so enjoyable to watch btw. Great stories and he conveys his enthusiasm for the dishes so well. He also takes home chefs of all abilities into account, but even his basic skills are far above Jack’s best efforts. It’s fun to watch a true professional make something complex seem so easy.

 

[myhairisonfire]

I recommend Spike seasoning, Cavendish, and Vegeta.

Vegeta is GOAT, I use that shit in everything. Way more flavor than Spike, which just tastes how grandmas spice cabinet smells.

EDIT: Aromat is also pretty good.

 

[AltisticRight]

A little late, from twatter prior to today's JOTG:
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https://nitter.poast.org/jakatak4/status/1909759251012108446

https://archive.ph/6RIqM

Full resolution images:
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This Asian fusion confusion food looks disgusting. What is that salad with cheap fake crab sticks? What is any of this garbage?
Quick tip: If you're eating at some Chinese restaurant and you can't hear loud laughter and Chinese babbling in the background, you're at a shit restaurant.
I bet Scalfatty loved this slop.

https://nitter.poast.org/jakatak4/status/1910461707345932500 https://ghostarchive.org/archive/H51Rk

Disgusting.

 

[densedance]

One thing I like about Rob's videos is that he has a normal, adult relationship with his wife instead of the babysitter/nurse dynamic between Jackoff and Tamham.

BASED

 

[souschef]

Jack uses Looney Tunes logic to dictate immigration policy

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"SHUGAR BAD, MEAT GUD"

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"ENERGY DRINKS GAVE ME STROKE!"

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"TRUMP IS PLAYING 5D CHESS" and he even repeated one of these points to a grifting sex pest

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Engagement bait

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Whining about Apple again

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Jack answers but is so vauge about it

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Like all these things have broad conspiracies for them from fucking Lizard People causing 9/11 to Bush letting it happen

Also given your last conspiracy was that Gene Hackman was murdered when it was proven that he died of more natural causes, you're fucking stupid, Jack

Jack's mad because the illegal Pedros and Pablos work harder than him and actually deserve paychecks

 

[AnOminous]

This Asian fusion confusion food looks disgusting. What is that salad with cheap fake crab sticks? What is any of this garbage?

It almost looks like something Jack would cook.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

I think that was back when he was still trying to half-assedly use Hope as a mascot and asset for the show. Back before he got too pissed at having to deal with a dog that was not trained to handle cues and just wants to be with people. Back when he just started leaving her in that fucking harness.

The best part about Hope still is how the Scalfanis got bamboozled into paying like 1500 bucks for a "pedigree dog" that in reality turned out to just be some random backyard breeder mutt.

 

[biggacracka]

The best part about Hope still is how the Scalfanis got bamboozled into paying like 1500 bucks for a "pedigree dog" that in reality turned out to just be some random backyard breeder mutt.

Nuh huh, she's a pure breed beagle! Just as much as Jack is pure breed Eye-talian!

 

[p1138]

Darren is so enjoyable to watch btw. Great stories and he conveys his enthusiasm for the dishes so well. He also takes home chefs of all abilities into account, but even his basic skills are far above Jack’s best efforts. It’s fun to watch a true professional make something complex seem so easy.

It's funny how him just basically dicing cooked meat to serve as dog food comes off more appetizing than the shit Fatty attempts to throw together, and of course Fatty's photography that manages to make other people's cooking look horrendous.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

How would YOU deejay Jack’s grand sendoff?

There's one song that needs to be played but only for the chorus:

It's perfect as it even has his name in it.

Darren is so enjoyable to watch btw. Great stories and he conveys his enthusiasm for the dishes so well. He also takes home chefs of all abilities into account, but even his basic skills are far above Jack’s best efforts. It’s fun to watch a true professional make something complex seem so easy.

Can't say I've ever seen this guy but I like his style.

It's funny how him just basically dicing cooked meat to serve as dog food comes off more appetizing than the shit Fatty attempts to throw together, and of course Fatty's photography that manages to make other people's cooking look horrendous.

Dude is a real chef and has some mad knife skills.

Not to mention he's using cheap ass knives you see in commercial kitchens all the time but they're kept super sharp.

 

[souschef]

There's one song that needs to be played but only for the chorus:

It's perfect as it even has his name in it.


Can't say I've ever seen this guy but I like his style.


Dude is a real chef and has some mad knife skills.

Not to mention he's using cheap ass knives you see in commercial kitchens all the time but they're kept super sharp.

Those cheapass knives are great if you can handle them. Like those with the plastic handles. There's some butcher near me that does magic with those generic knives, i wish some day i'll be as good as him

Jack's buying knives full of faggotry and handles than worse than the kids students at my culinary institute (really)

 

[densedance]

 

[a terminal posture]

The mystery sauce explained:

Jack's recipe calls for "2 tbsp Trybachan’s Original Sauce". He copy and pasted it from here. A search of "Trybachan" brings up not much. Upon a closer look it seems that @trybachan is a social media account for Bachan Japanese BBQ Sauce. So Jack somehow found the AI recipe promoted by Bachan or something, I don't even know anymore. Like there are approximately 1.74e12 Philly Cheesesteak recipes on the internet and Jack digs up some weird AI shit. HOW?

 

[Adamska]

So to some credit for Jack here; this is probably the closest he ever got to making a proper cheesesteak so far, since he followed an abomination recipe that tried to match the correct method. No you do not need any sauce on your steak sandwich. He still fucked up, since you don't let the steak stew in its fats, and you're supposed to MELT the cheese with the steak before flopping it into your hoagie roll.

It's horrifying that he prefers cold cheese on a hot sandwich. I'd ding him on using gouda as a cheese, but he countered with provolone and I'm not a complete purist when it comes to these sandwiches. But this sandwich is so fatty it doesn't need a sauce. It also puts it closer to French Dip or Italian Dip, which is different.

The mystery sauce explained:

Jack's recipe calls for "2 tbsp Trybachan’s Original Sauce". He copy and pasted it from here. A search of "Trybachan" brings up not much. Upon a closer look it seems that @trybachan is a social media account for Bachan Japanese BBQ Sauce. So Jack somehow found the AI recipe promoted by Bachan or something, I don't even know anymore. Like there are approximately 1.74e12 Philly Cheesesteak recipes on the internet and Jack digs up some weird AI shit. HOW?

It's a testament to his incompetence that the only reason he cooked this dish closer to the proper method than any other time was due to an AI. A robot should not outcook you given how often they botch proportions and forget ingredients.

 

[Puggers]

Jack's ear hair is longer than the hair on his head. Disgusting.