Karl Jobst / karljobst / FAQ_GOD / simthreat / approachhernow.com - Albino autist, Spergy speed runner, Pickup predator and Bitch of Mitchell

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For my brief hot sauce review I bought the regular and jalapeno. The regular is better than the cheap brands like tobasco, chalula and Franks, but a bit disappointing for the price.

The Jalapeno one is very good. I'm probably gonna buy it again.
A very fair, honest, and informative review! I was on the fence about whether or not to buy, but with the endorsements of Karl Jobst and the various users of kiwifarms, I have decided to try every flavor Rickey's has to offer.

Thank you, Karl! And God bless America!

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Reflecting on this whole thing I recalled a realization I had about a year or two ago.

I didn't mind Jobsts content and would watch it when bored or just to listen to it. The goose thing was the first moment I thought maybe he was a loser. Instead of saving face with someone who was presumably his friend / peer he went very scorched earth for no perceived reason besides being performative (at the time, turns out cancellers have worst shit in their past is true once again).

After that incident my bullshit detectors were a bit more active and I noticed a trend that Karl always had a way of arguing that was to perfect. Something about it all just seemed manufactured or cherry picked despite his insistence it wasn't and I started doubting him as a reliable narrator. Even the morning of the trial I thought to myself I bet he will lose.

Did anyone else feel this way or am I just autistic? (Or both)

For me, it was this video:

DarkViperAU, one of the people Apollo actually did point the finger at, being heavily featured in a Karl Jobst video in the midst of waiting for the verdict on a trial about Karl saying it was Billy's fault.

I don't think there's any way he could've made it any more clear that he didn't actually give a shit about the suicide and was just using it as a way to slander Billy, create outrage against Billy, and drum up support for himself.
 
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That fucking albino is mentally ill. The public doesn't give a shit that Bitchell cheated at some Nintendo monkey game. Karl is acting like Billy is a terrorist or serial killer and he is his divine punishment. He is a delusional, nasty person.
Let's all be honest here, you have to be mentally ill to want to speedrun,—to waste your life in front of a screen for 1000s of hours, replaying the same levels from the same games over and over, trying tens of thousands of times just to shave off a couple seconds in a 25 year old game for asspats and clout on websites nobody gives a fuck about. Come on...
 
Let's all be honest here, you have to be mentally ill to want to speedrun,—to waste your life in front of a screen for 1000s of hours, replaying the same levels from the same games over and over, trying tens of thousands of times just to shave off a couple seconds in a 25 year old game for asspats and clout on websites nobody gives a fuck about. Come on...
I think there is a certain level of rational behind doing it, as long it is just as part of the normal gameplay.
Think optimizing a strategy to beat a game quicker and easier.

It gets really autistic when people try to get pixel perfect skip memory hack level skip strategies that only work on the Japanese Goldbox version only sold to kids under 4 during a fullmoon in 1995.

Just like everything with leaderboards, there is a certain level of "being better" and then there is hunting for a tenth of a second.

The dumb strategies developed to break games is on the reasons I no longer play certain titles like Trackmania, since the entire leaderboard is now exploits of bugs in the engine or memory handling.
 
Reflecting on this whole thing I recalled a realization I had about a year or two ago.

I didn't mind Jobsts content and would watch it when bored or just to listen to it. The goose thing was the first moment I thought maybe he was a loser. Instead of saving face with someone who was presumably his friend / peer he went very scorched earth for no perceived reason besides being performative (at the time, turns out cancellers have worst shit in their past is true once again).

After that incident my bullshit detectors were a bit more active and I noticed a trend that Karl always had a way of arguing that was to perfect. Something about it all just seemed manufactured or cherry picked despite his insistence it wasn't and I started doubting him as a reliable narrator. Even the morning of the trial I thought to myself I bet he will lose.

Did anyone else feel this way or am I just autistic? (Or both)
I started to get weird vibes from him too after learning about his pickup artists days and the unhealthy amount of Billy videos.

Lots of people probably feel blindsided not questioning Karl more on the case being about the suicide drama and not the cheating. Sucks for all the people who donated money to Karl and him roping them into an unnecessary lawsuit.
 
For me, it was this video:

DarkViperAU, one of the people Apollo actually did point the finger at, being heavily featured in a Karl Jobst video in the midst of waiting for the verdict on a trial about Karl saying it was Billy's fault.

I don't think there's any way he could've made it any more clear that he didn't actually give a shit about the suicide and was just using it as a way to slander Billy, create outrage against Billy, and drum up support for himself.
It’s so gross that Karl championed himself as Apollo’s avenger. Not only was he part of the campaign to destroy his reputation before his passing but he still spoke lowly of him after his passing.

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Karl on some of DarkViper’s statements about Apollo in his response to the goodbye video.
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Damn it Nick! The video got delayed again.

If you fine people in this thread didn't educate me on who ersatz_cat was I'd assume he was a troll purposefully getting Carl to fuck himself over. I can't imagine being this smug and arrogant after everything happened but then again I'm not a speed troon with 10k+ hours in a game trying to shave off a millisecond in speed running.
It felt like he stared at the submit button for 10 minutes before adding the "/sneed" while sobbing and most probably dilating.
I wonder how quickly he would jump ship if there was anyone else with a case against Mitchell to latch on to as his next hero.
 
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Karl admits to being too retarded to use an imageboard
What is it with e-celebs always having to immediately deny they don't use the korean basket weaving forum, after being very quick to show interest when something happens to it.
Always these weird excuses like "idk how to use this site" or "I haven't used it for over a decade"

You are using it bro who are you trying to fool
 
This guy had a brief conversation with Karl the other day and calls him an unhinged retard, Karl ended up blocking him and banning him from his discord for trying to discentivize him from appealing the decison lol.


Bear in mind this guy apparently used to be one of Karl's friend's, which just confirms he is burning bridges with anyone and everyone that try and give him advice he doesn't approve of, which makes it all the more hilarious.
Karl responded to someone asking him about it

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He posted the popcorn emoji and hurt me feelings :(

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Please don't post popcorn emojis. It makes karl feel some type of way (as bossman would say)
 
ersatz_cats is full schizo. He's a Billy stalker more obsessive than Roy Shildt.

Perfectpacman used to be Billy's website but it expired and ersatz sniped it from him and turned it into a hate site. As previously mentioned, ersatz and Karl helped EZ_Scape with the video attacking Apollo Legend. Ersatz was partly responsible for starting the lie that Apollo paid Billy money.

Ersatz flew to Australia to cover the courtroom proceedings. He wasn't present in person on Day 7, so he was allowed to watch remotely via internet link. Good job he wasn't there, because when Karl's lawyer made a blunder ersatz was planning on committing contempt of court to correct him, because this mental patient would rather spend time in prison than allow Billy Mitchell a court win.

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Amid the cope and seethe after Billy's victory, ersatz insulted the judge on every platform then took to his blog to sperg out because normies were actually rediscovering that Billy legitimately beat all the Donkey Kong scores he was alleged to have faked, and ersatz linked to his schizo page full of "evidence" about the disputed scores.

For the record, here are Billy's scores:

2020-06-26 - Score 1,092,100 - Legitimate
2010-07-31 - Score 1,062,800 - Disputed
2007-07-13 - Score 1,050,200 - Disputed
2018-11-23 - Score 1,050,100 - Legitimate
2018-08-16 - Score 1,047,500 - Legitimate
2004-12-28 - Score 1,047,200 - Disputed

Billy deliberately aimed for the scores he was accused of faking and tried to either match or beat them, which he did. Every Billy detractor tried to tear these scores down but they couldn't, the scores were all streamed live on Twitch, on original hardware. Every autist with MAME knowledge was looking for girder fingers but didn't find shit. The scores are bulletproof. Walter (ersatz) handled this... poorly. He's left spluttering with excuses such as "1,050,100 isn't exactly 1,050,200 so it doesn't count" and "Billy's on the historical Twin Galaxies leaderboard, not the real one!" He spent paragraphs pontificating that the normies would side with the detractors if they only knew that Billy setting legitimate scores doesn't change the fact he cheated on his old ones.

This begs the question what the point of high score boards actually is.

Are they a genuine attempt to track the highest legitimate scores ever achieved in games and the people who achieved them, or are they just a hugbox for megalomaniac losers who can't help but abuse the miniscule amount of power they've been given? I think we know the answer to that.

Of course, Karl is the biggest purveyor of speedrun/highscore drama. Not only does he report it, but he's actively involved in the persecution of people he reports on.

Take this guy for example:

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His name is Mekarazium (Meka). He cheated in the DLC for a spinoff Metal Gear game (lol who takes this shit seriously) by splicing together the best segments of a run and passing it off as a single segment. After he got caught, he admitted it was spliced and submitted it to the segmented category rather than the single segment category. It was accepted because no hacks were used during the segments, so therefore the segments were acceptable, obviously.

Karl was so irate that Meka originally tried to pass off the run as single segment that he personally contacted the admin of the board to try to get Meka banned for life. These were Karl's demands:

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They were rejected. So Karl spent the last part of his video attacking the admin.

Anyway, the only reason I mention this is because Karl himself previously admitted cheating. He made a smug video about it and seemed to admit to a separate case in the old forum posts from The Elite. He wasn't a kid at the time either, he was 18 years old. That's not much younger than Schmooey, the 20 year old Guitar Hero cheater he made a video about. For some reason, Karl doesn't seem to think he should be held to his own standards.

Karl made two videos about Queen_Pwnzalot, a Twitch streamer who broadcast blindfolded attempts at killing a boss in Monster Hunter or something (I've never played it):

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For the purposes of research, I watched one of her streams without commenting. She gets about 150 viewers. Before I saw that, I assumed Karl was hunting famous streamers who got too big for their boots. This girl just fucks around on stream with her friends in front of basically nobody. She probably has a real job because that's not enough viewers for a career. A couple people in chat brought up the Billy judgement and she acknowledged it. She seems nice. I'm not simping, I was just shocked that big YouTubers all seemed to gang up on this girl for essentially pranking her friends and small community. Karl's two videos on her have 1.4 million views and 2.2 million views respectively.

I find this to be pretty disgusting behaviour. Through this thread and my own research I've come to the conclusion that Karl is a nasty vindictive hypocrite, a self righteous liar, an abusive bully, and a cheater, who surrounds himself with some of the worst people in the gaming and drama community. I'm happy that Billy Mitchell wrecked his shit and I hope Karl loses his home, his wife, his channel, and every penny he has.
 
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