State of Minnesota v. Nicholas Rekieta, Kayla Rekieta, April Imholte

[AncientPhosphur]

I don’t think we’re getting that backlog of promised streams

 

[Oliver Onions]

@Null Hopefully you're the right person to ping for this but we should have a new poll in the thread as to when he will violate parole and get the book thrown at him.

I was going to suggest a banner on the front page like when BossmanJack was a fugitive. Something like either 'X DAYS OF NICK NOT VIOLATING HIS PROBATION' or a '1,825 DAYS OF SOBRIETY REMAINING' countdown.

OT: This feels like the best of both worlds for me. Nick goes to jail just long enough that he can act like a streetwise tough guy about it, but then he can get straight back to seething on Twitter at all the nerds and prudes, and there is no way he is making it through 5 years of probation under those conditions.

I'll be surprised if he makes it 5 weeks.

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

He's finally a criminal lawyer guys, sure done did show the kiwifags how to leverage coke

 

[RodgerDodger]

The 80 hours of community service is funny.

The 28 days in jail is hilarious.

The five years probation? Now that right there is comedy gold. I know old Wetbrain Rackets is just seething over that.

Fuckin SUFFAH Rackets!

That seems a cruel and unusual thing to do to a community.

 

[The Wokest]

And the footage will be the cherry on top

 

[$5.3 Million Dollars]

After seeing the lowball bargaining over his sentencing I'm glad to see the judge stay the course and implement the full thing even after those hilarious letters advocating for him to have a slap on the wrist because he's gotta drive his kids around.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Yeah, this guy can go 5 years without a drink.

I can totally buy he wasn't/isn't addicted to cocaine and can just stop cold turkey because some people are just like that. I cannot buy it for booze. I believe Nick might be one of those people who can stop anything cold turkey. However, the problem is he's not an alcoholic by need, but rather by circumstance. He hates his life and his life ain't changing. Moreover he's damned to it. Five years without a drink is a long time....Better huff some Galaxy Gas, Nick!

 

[BibiLivesMatter]

@Fapcop needs to plan vacation time for two in August, while Nick is gone!

 

[General Gunther]

I just realized something. Nick put Vic Mignogna through an awful lawsuit that utterly humiliated and destroyed him publicly which lasted 5 years and now Nick is going to have a 5 year probation where he can’t do shit.

It’s karma in its purest form.

 

[blackface enthusiast]

This is incredible, I do have one question I haven't seen asked though. Do inhalants/whippets/galaxy gas count as drugs in the eyes of the court for determining whether he is sober or not? If they do count, he's well and truly fucked and WILL be spending a long time behind bars.

I just realized as I'm typing this that we might also get the bodycam now that he caught charges. Oh my fucking God this is the best shit ever.

I could be wrong but I think it's just based on whatever shows up in drug testing, galaxy gas and designer Chinese drugs don't show up on drug tests. There's also speculation he's abusing prescription medication which similarly wouldn't be counted against him with a valid prescription.

Are there provisions in place if he's visibly intoxicated? Like on a stream high off his balls on this stuff?

 

[Lonely khan]

Damn. Now he and Ethan Ralph are now fellow convicts. Curious about how things will play out once Nicky gets out.

Baldo White and Blunder S Thompson buddy flick about the death of the american stream. "Beer and Bloating on lost pages"

 

[Oxyjen]

They should wire his streaming setup to one of those breathalyzers that won’t let you start your car until you blow zero.

Seriously though they should definitely fit one of those to the Balldomobile, given he was reported as driving it while under the influence.

 

[Jace on ice]

Maybe he'll try to skirt the court order by doing legal grey area shit like bath salts and we'll get a face eating saga.

 

[Biggus McDickus]

- Be Nick
- Publicly flaunt how not guilty you are but you plead guilty
- take pride in commiting other crimes
- use wife as a revenge case against your ex boyfriend
- go to court, get absolutely ass banged

Yup. Didn't see this coming at all Kiwi Bros

 

[Not Really Here]

View attachment 7241205
Enjoy prison, stalker child

He has until August 1st to prove to probation he's a good boy.

If you read this, call family to help with the kids, and do the community service in the first two weeks. Suck the PO dick, they're your only focus until August 1.

 

[sarna]

Do inhalants/whippets/galaxy gas count as drugs in the eyes of the court for determining whether he is sober or not?

The screens he's subjected to will likely not pick up nitrous, no.

 

[Room Temp Shrimp]

It would be the funniest shit if somehow the EWU crew got the bodycam footage and wordlessly dropped it before Null can get it, although I don't think Null would care as much as just having it in the first place

 

[Unremarkable Anus Lover]

Rekeita is OFFICIALLY a CRIMINAL lawyer

Albeit without any of the wits and charm.

 

[PixarsTedKennedy]

What a banner fucking year. I'll be sure to keep his kids in my prayers. I hope 5 years of no fun helps him become a better father...but who are we kidding.

 

[MadStan]

The stock market can crash and genocide can happen in Cambodia and it couldn’t take the smile off my fucking face.