Coast to Coast AM - Kiwifarms Open Lines

NoReturn

NoReturn

Please read all posts in the voice of Neco-Arc
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kiwifarms.net
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Aug 28, 2019

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From the High Desert in the great American Southwest I bid you good evening. I'm Art Bell, and this is Coast to Coast AM.
Tonight we have open lines.
That's right. I want to hear your spooky stories, predictions, dreams, coincidences, and strange experiences.

Caller, you're on the air.


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Bonus:
 
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Art, this is GREG "PATRIQT" from Arkansas. I think Ed Dames is 100% correct when he sez that the killshot is coming on October 31, 2012, but he is 100% WRONG about it being a solar flare! Now lemme tell yew about the REAL killshot. I have a lotta problems on my farm wit the grays yew know, one night about 3am I heard a caterwaulin like yew wouldn't believe from my barn...
 
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I love Art Bell. I miss him. No other broadcaster or personality really "gets" paranormal shit like he does, or presents stuff in such a matter-of-fact way. Everyone tries too hard to sensationalize or put on a spooky voice. He just talked.
 
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Man I miss Art Bell so much.... So many nights sitting around listening to him interview (mostly) crazy people. It really added a almost electrical tinge to the air when listening to Art.

That faggot that took over coast to coast can rot in hell, he was not even worthy to wipe Art's butt.

I liked Ian Punnett a lot, sorry to hear he died - it's been a long time since I listened to any talk radio. But, it's a Halloween tradition to listen to all the Ghost to Ghost's.
 
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Yeah his first wife was deeply Catholic and kept him in line. After she died he kind of went crazier with the guests and theories.
 
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FatMebius said:
I love Art Bell. I miss him. No other broadcaster or personality really "gets" paranormal shit like he does, or presents stuff in such a matter-of-fact way. Everyone tries too hard to sensationalize or put on a spooky voice. He just talked.
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I hated the faggots who criticized him because he didn't "push back blah blah blah" "enough" on his guests. The dude was there to provide entertaining stories on weird topics, shut the fuck up
 
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draggs said:
I hated the faggots who criticized him because he didn't "push back blah blah blah" "enough" on his guests. The dude was there to provide entertaining stories on weird topics, shut the fuck up
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His rule was you had to believe your shit. If you were caught knowingly faking you were out on your ass forever like kreskin
 
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THIS IS J.C. WEBSTER III GOD'S TEN STAR TEN STAR GENERAL!

Jonathan Christian Webster III is the greatest caller in radio history. People believed he was a creation by the producers of the show, Art Bell said he was real because he would receive emails from J.C. and his wife Edna P. Pringle (who ran off with a flea bitten biker named Blade and he has spent years looking for her). J.C. did not only call Coast to Coast Am but other radio shows and podcasts. J.C. used to post some of the letters he got from his email address boilingpitsofsewage@yahooDOTcom with his response on his blogspot account named after the group he is the leader of called CLAMP (an acronym for Christian Legion Against Media Pornography). He would invent, mispronounce and misspell words.

J.C. has been active from 1996 to 2023. I have not heard of a troll with this much commitment since Andy Kaufman. Somebody named Deep did archive his activity on his defunct website called deepspire.com. As God's ten-star general in the war against media pornography, J.C. says he watches pornography for purposes of "reconnaissance". Media pornography involves the obvious material and extends to the Food Network which he calls food porn because it inspires gluttony and self-indulgence. J.C. also has particular ire for the television program Iron Chef, because of its connection to William Shatner, who is a Canadian operative that starred in Star Trek which is also pornography.

I never believed that producers would create a character that would call into Coast to Coast AM wanting to "fire the ovens for the queens, the coons, the reds, the satanists and the Jews!". As he did in this call.


J.C. calls Art Bell for the first time.



J.C. calls George Noory for the first time.


J.C. calls Ian Punnett for the first time.


J.C. calls George Noory on Coast to Coast AM in 2020 for the last time.


One of my favorite J.C. quotes came from an example he gave about media pornography, saying that football is a homosexual ritual. When he said that the quarterback is usually the most attractive player on the team, it was something that I never thought about but its true and it could be interpreted as J.C. falling for the subversion caused by the media.



These are just highlights of J.C. talking to Art Bell and George Noory on Coast To Coast AM about Cats, Global Warming, Halloween, Gays and Football.




  • That global warming is being caused by the pornographers' souls stoking the fires of hell, which is at the center of Earth. The heat is then radiating out into the atmosphere, and the planet is consequently becoming warmer.
  • That he is God's ten-star general in the war against media pornography.
  • That God speaks to him daily (in J.C.'s words: "I have direct communication with the Lord"), and gives him commandments for every situation (almost all of these are prohibitions against various vices, particularly pertaining to food and sex). In addition, after J.C.'s appearance on Coast to Coast AM on October 4 2002, his "associate" Edna Pringle sent an e-mail to Art Bell with a list of the "New Commandments".
  • That Art Bell is somehow associated with Satan (it appears at times that he believes that Bell actually is the devil himself, though other times it is suggested that Bell merely works for him; by these statements, J.C. could claim both positions, making Art Bell perfectly possessed); usually, J.C. refers to Art as "the devil's mouthpiece".
  • That the weeknight host of Coast to Coast AM, George Noory, has a criminal past in the St. Louis "underworld" (possibly suggesting mob ties), and has stolen money from Art Bell's wallet -- either $20 or $50, depending on which of J.C.'s rants is heard. During one of his calls, J.C. accused George Noory of having "goons" and using them to force radio stations to carry Coast to Coast AM. J.C. asserted that Noory's goons, aside from ensuring that Coast to Coast AM is carried on many radio stations, also mobbed radio show host Rusty Humphries in a parking lot.
  • That the Soviet Union still exists, and is allied with Canada (though J.C. sometimes says England) against the United States now. Glasnost never happened, and a sign of Art Bell's treachery was that he modified his position from being conservative during the days of the Soviet Union to being a "little more liberal" now.
  • That the Food Network is "food porn", because it inspires gluttony and self-indulgence. J.C. also has particular ire for the television program Iron Chef, because of its connection to William Shatner (see below).
  • That Canada "has declared open war on America" due to Canada's legalization of gay marriage.
  • That Canada is using science fiction to somehow destroy the United States, citing William Shatner's Canadian nationality and the fact that the X-Files is filmed in Canada.
  • That women are to be put in the traditional subservient position within a family unit; particularly, at his feet, given that he believes that he is "the bearer of The New Revelation".
  • That the devil will beat people up and then eat them, and, after digesting them, deposit them in the "boiling pits of sewage". With this view, J.C. seems to believe in, aside from the imminent tangibility of Satan, the popular myth of Satan as presently ruling over a subterranean Hell.
  • That cats are demonic entities (as are French poodles; this is because they are French) -- more precisely, cats are the "familiars of Satan" in his mind. He talks about chasing (and shooting at) cats in the woods around his compound to scare them away.
  • That the cell-holders and interrogators at the Abu Ghraib prison are not to blame for their acts of torture, but were rather the product of BDSM pornography, having influenced the military of the United States. This seems contradictory, since to J.C. everyone else is accountable for their sins, even with the assumption that pornography was the prime cause, but the suspects in the torture are exempt, evidently, by being in the U.S. military.
  • That all "book-learning" is evil, which seems to be a remnant of anti-humanist feelings dating back to the 16th Century, which was primarily Roman Catholic. JC has chanted "Less book-learnin'! More book burnin'!"
  • That the Addams Family depicts a Satanic family and is part of Hollywood's scheme to promote Satanism, and was engineered by the Soviet Union as a way to bring about the downfall of America.
  • That Mel Gibson was 100% correct on his statements, and claimed Gibson was hounded down by Hollywood and the media, because Gibson directed and produced the movie The Passion of the Christ.
  • Enjoys using (and seemingly inventing some) words such as insultation, insinuitize, impostulating, and disgustating.
  • That Art Bell is responsible for the deaths of the members of the Heaven's Gate cult in 1997, after the passage of comet Hale-Bopp.
  • That Roman Catholics are "full of spirits" and are "demon worshippers".
  • In a show that aired in August 2006, J.C. called host Ian Punnett (sitting in for Noory) during an open-line segment. Although on record for saying he kind of liked Punnett until finding out Punnett was an Episcopalian minister, when J.C. expressed his belief that all Episopalians are "going to Hell." J.C. also said he was coming after announcer Ross Mitchell (who has recently been filling in on Coast to Coast Live) and also continued his insults towards former C2C host Mike Siegel, who hosted the show from 2000-2001. J.C. also suggested that the crackdown of food or drink on airline flights was a good thing, and went as far as saying mothers shouldn't even be allowed to serve Cheerios to children on the flights, noting that 'women belong at home' and not traveling, and also that Cheerios are 'gluttoning' food.
  • That Star Trek is pornographic and that it is part of the New World Order.
  • That Edna Pringle has run away with a man on a motorcyle and that George Noory has somehow caused it.
  • That Alaska is a sleeper state for Russian agents.
  • That lesbians hold "Tupperware parties" to seduce women away from their husbands.
  • That Al Qaeda has a plan to kill American babies and has been using Planned Parenthood to do so for years.
  • That rock and roll music is evil and masturbation is the root of all destruction of America.
  • That Charlie Sheen is possessed by the departed spirit of Rick James.
  • That people who drink Mountain Dew will go to hell.
  • That "shadow people" are the ghosts of black people.

J.C. was a real wordsmith.

"Proxymoron"
"Muslimism"
"Darwinisium"
"Homosexualize"
"Degeneratized"
"Pornographied"
"Pornographization"
"Pornographitization"
"Insultate"
"Insultated"
"Insultation"
"Disgustating"
"Demontry"
"Deletated"
"Impostulation"
"Impostulating"
"Impostulator"
"Impostulations"

Edna P. Pringle sent emails to Art Bell where she complained about how Art treated J.C. in their last call on the show in October 2002. In the email she says that God gives J.C. 10 new commandments to follow each day. This is the earliest example where I saw the term faggotry being used its spelled as fagotry.

HERE FOLLOWS THE NEW COMANDMENTS AS GIVEN FROM GOD TO J.C.

1: THOU SHALT OBEY THE BRINGER OF THE NEW REVALATION IN ALLTHINGS ,
QUESTION NOT DO AS YOUR TOLD!

2:THOU SHALT NOT LISTEN TO ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC!

3:THOU SHALT NOT FORNICATE!

4:THOU SHALL NOT MASTERBATE!

5:THOU SHALL NOT WATCH PORNO MOVIES OR LOOK AT DIRTY PICTURES OF NAKED PEOPLE!

6:THOU SHALL HATE ALL THE ENEMIES OF THE LORD AND HIS PROPHET THE GREAT AND HONORABLE J.C.
WEBSTER THE 3RD!

7:ALL NATIONS,AND PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT CHRISTIAN NATIONS AND PEOPLE ARE TO BE DESTROYED AS
QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE SO GOD WILL BE PLEASED AND SET HIS KINGDOM UPON THE EARTH HENCE FOURTH!

8:THOU SHAL NOT ENGAGE IN FAGOTRY OR ANY OTHER QUEER BEHAVIORS !

9:THOU SHALT GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY AND KEEP THE SABATH HOLY!

10:THOU SHALL NOT INDULGE IN FATTY FOODS AND OR CANDIES OR DELICACIES OF ANY KIND FOOD IS FOR
SUSTAINING LIFE NOT ENJOYMENT BE NOT A GLUTTON OR GOD WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH A HEART ATTACK!

mr bell these are the first 10 new comandments. GOD gives J.C. NEW COMANDMENTS DAILY, and he even gives
personal comandments to idividuals!
 
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Back in college I used to listen to Art late into the night while studying. It was all bullshit, but it was such entertaining bullshit, and Art always acted so professional towards his guests. Found a huge torrent a few years back with all C2C episodes from the beginning up to around 2015 or so, plus Dreamland and you better fucking believe I downloaded it the second I saw it listed. Still entertaining
 
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TaimuRadiu said:
Art Bell is dead, Ian Punnett is dead. Richard Syrett and George Knapp are still alive. George Noory is pretty clearly in a state of living death thanks to the Tangy Tangerine and the Superbeets.
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I was up all night for a bit due to being sick and I started listening again. Open lines is the schizo hour. I feel bad for the people who are obviously on medication and need real friends to talk to.
 
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Dysnomia said:
I was up all night for a bit due to being sick and I started listening again. Open lines is the schizo hour. I feel bad for the people who are obviously on medication and need real friends to talk to.
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Most late night shows in local markets are just fucking dead. The only one I know of currently is Rollye James from WGN in Chicago (ex Coast to Coast AM host). James hosted C2C at one time, then stopped because she said they wanted her to plug consumables, specifically boner pills. When she said she didn't sell those, she was asked if her husband would cut a promo for them for that.

That being said the worst caller is Cornelius, the GOD GUNS AND GOLD MAN THE BIBLE BULLETS AND BEANS MAN. Snoory just lets him go on for 15 minutes at a time.
 
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Jason Wynn said:
Back in college I used to listen to Art late into the night while studying. It was all bullshit, but it was such entertaining bullshit, and Art always acted so professional towards his guests. Found a huge torrent a few years back with all C2C episodes from the beginning up to around 2015 or so, plus Dreamland and you better fucking believe I downloaded it the second I saw it listed. Still entertaining
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It’s amusing to see people still to this day come around to the fact that the Mel’s Hole saga is BS.
And the young man who was arrested in Kansas City for trying to build a time machine.

If Art hadn’t been such a great interviewer, I could see where constantly broadcasting such false stories might not be as entertaining.
 
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