Modern Hiring Processes/Standards - Do the goy dance wage cuck

[Cryborg 1987]

My boomer parents don’t understand, they just say shit like “have you tried a firm handshake”

And that, children, is why I don't give a fuck if tariffs wipe out Boomer retirement funds.

Seriously though, you're a white dude trying to get a job in Corporate America. Good luck. These companies have the ability to wipe out your resume without even looking at it and "male" is probably the first eliminator followed by "white". My friend (I think he does some kind of HR shit) has been laid off multiple times and it's hell on Earth trying to get back in. I've worked for a small business for 13 years, if my boss ever hangs it up I'm fucked.

Getting in with a trade union is the right move for you. Sounds like you would not consider going back to school for a skill (mechanic, plumber, etc.) but that is an option as well. Or, if you're as lucky as I am, you can find a small business with someone who wipes his ass with the corporate structure. That last one is a difficult option but you never know.

In any event best of luck to you.

 

[NoReturn]

Most frustrating one I had was when I interviewed for an entry level position and they rejected me saying they were looking for someone with more experience. It's fucking entry level, the whole point of those jobs is to get experience.

Not anymore!
According to the Legion of HR Demons, "entry level" means "entry into the company", not "entry into the field".
*winky face* *nail painting emoji*

And that, children, is why I don't give a fuck if tariffs wipe out Boomer retirement funds.

It's an old meme sir, but it's still valid.

 

[SIMON THE PIEMAN]

Pirate 3DMax or whatever and do porn if you can 3D model

I have been considering a similar idea, except it would be a video game instead. There seems to be plenty of really shitty 3D porn games that somehow still make some money through Patreon or Onlyfans. A lot of these seem to use paid or free models of people and all of this this stuff looks absolutely abysmal. I wonder how much money I could make by creating a product that has an actual quality and polish to it, thought I'd first have to define what that even means in the first place.

 

[Starbuxxx]

Ghosting has become commonplace. It's one thing to not respond to an application, or even ignore you after a phone interview. But after you've given up part of your day to travel to their office and meet with someone, not to mention the time that goes into preparing for an interview, it's absurd to never hear from them again. Even reaching out via email gets ignored, they lack the basic decency to let you know the position has been filled.

It used to be that internal candidates were preferred, but I'm not sure that's the case anymore. Companies would rather have someone from the outside who's had the exact title or has some prestigious credential than promote a person who has worked for them for years. This hurts employee morale as they discover they can put in years with an employer only for the loyalty to be a one-way street. Then the new outside hire is resented as they have no understanding of the company culture, and they want to change things anyway so they can take credit for something on a resume when they inevitably depart in a few years.

This feels like a system that is collapsing. How many millions of people who are motivated, educated, ready to work, will spend years unable to find any jobs beyond gig slavery, before the whole house of cards comes tumbling down?

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

Huh, it seems that the hiring process for my own industry is comparatively uncomplicated even with its usual 6+ interviews. At least most firms do not ghost and keep the interviews narrowly focused on the actual job. Even the personality assessment seems quite reasonable compared to the shit I'm reading here. I'm genuinely shocked as our hiring is usually stereotyped as the one that's unnecessarily complicated.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

Then, they have us pull out a personal item that we are very fond of and talk about it. I can already feel shivers up my spine at this point. The cringe is real and intensifies with each answer. Generic cunt #370 likes traveling and laughing; Cunt #371 likes rom-coms; Cunt #372 had a kid and it's his life (like no one has ever had a kid before).

Are you not aware that this is a test to see if you are able to keep yourself as bland as possible in the workplace? Having an interesting life, being unusual or having any idiosyncracies, those would make you an unappealing hire because if you can't keep it to yourself for a few hours at an interview, you definitely won't be able to do so after you've been hired. You will be expected to put up with your boss's quirks, of course.

 

[Meiwaku]

Kill HR. Behead HR. Roundhouse kick a mandatory training in the face. Run payroll through the corpses of HR. Slamdunk a video job application into the trashcan. Crucify filthy HRs with #2 pencils. Defecate onto their shitty benefits fact sheets. Launch HR into the reserved space parking lot. Stir fry their investigations in a wok. Toss their shitty degrees into active volcanoes. Urinate into their incoming mail. Judo throw enrollment periods into a wood chipper. Twist redundant application maker's heads off. Report HR to the IRS. Karate chop compliance mandates in half. Curb stop non-pregnancy leave giving HR niggers. Trap HR in paperwork quicksand. Crush HR red tape in the trash compactor. Liquify month long hiring processes in a vat of acid. Eat lack of proper communication. Dissect 500 page employee handworks. Exterminate stupid policy and procedures in a gas chamber. Stomp HR skulls with non PPE work boots. Cremate HR in the breakroom microwave. Unlobotomize HR. Mandatory abortions for HR workers. Grind HR fetuses in the paper shredder. Drown HR in emails. Vaporize DEI with a ray gun. Kick inclusivity down the stairs. Feed HR to alligators. Slice HR with a paper cutter.

 

[We Are The Witches]

Fucking Indeed is filled with scammers that just want your data, by the way.

There should be investigations for fake job offers like these, and capital punishment for scammers.

 

[Pork Wellington]

Getting in with a trade union is the right move for you. Sounds like you would not consider going back to school for a skill (mechanic, plumber, etc.) but that is an option as well.

That's exactly what I would do if I had my time all over again. I have a background in the metal manufacturing trades(which turned out to be a bad move in the long run).
I should have went in to the domestic trades instead. Electrician, carpenter, plumber, tiler, etc.
Industries that will never go away, and allow you to work anywhere in your country. Demand will only increase, and you won't be competing with women.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

This really boils my fucking piss. I just graduated with a second degree in networking technologies to accompany my network administration degree, applied to a network technician job, and flat out told me that while my skills are impressive, it isn't what they were looking for? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU LOOKING FOR, AN INDIAN!?

 

[Cryborg 1987]

That's exactly what I would do if I had my time all over again. I have a background in the metal manufacturing trades(which turned out to be a bad move in the long run).
I should have went in to the domestic trades instead. Electrician, carpenter, plumber, tiler, etc.
Industries that will never go away, and allow you to work anywhere in your country. Demand will only increase, and you won't be competing with women.

Got a Communications Studies degree-one of the most worthless degrees you can "earn"-and eventually went back to school for architecture and construction because being a local sports reporter pays less than a Subway sandwich maker. Not exactly rich these days but I have some disposable income.

If bitches actually listened they could destroy the wage gap (assuming there actually is one) by going to trade school.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

This really boils my fucking piss. I just graduated with a second degree in networking technologies to accompany my network administration degree, applied to a network technician job, and flat out told me that while my skills are impressive, it isn't what they were looking for? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU LOOKING FOR, AN INDIAN!?

Yes, they wanted a stinky pajeet with a nearly-worthless degree from the University of Jangladeshutti. He will always fear losing his job because he knows he can easily be replaced with another H1B, and he comes from a culture where slavish obedience to the boss is the norm, so they can trust him to jump through whatever hoops they place in front of him. They don't want a white man with a real education who might jump ship for another job because he is being underpaid or mistreated (not underpaying or mistreating employees is out of the question).

 

[Gorilla Man]

This really boils my fucking piss. I just graduated with a second degree in networking technologies to accompany my network administration degree, applied to a network technician job, and flat out told me that while my skills are impressive, it isn't what they were looking for? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU LOOKING FOR, AN INDIAN!?

They want somebody who is either VERY experienced and willing to work for peanuts, or somebody with low experience willing to work for FREE (like an H1B1 jeet intern)
Things were bad when I entered the work force 10 years ago, but I weep for you zoomers

You know how boomers are always complaining about "muh avocado toasts"?
That is actually a reflection of their inner selves - being out of touch with reality, and wanting luxurious things like slave labor

We are approaching 18th century levels of worker exploitation

 

[Meiwaku]

This really boils my fucking piss. I just graduated with a second degree in networking technologies to accompany my network administration degree, applied to a network technician job, and flat out told me that while my skills are impressive, it isn't what they were looking for? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU LOOKING FOR, AN INDIAN!?

That's the polite way of saying that they don't like you.

 

[Jimjamflimflam]

Ghosting has become commonplace. It's one thing to not respond to an application, or even ignore you after a phone interview. But after you've given up part of your day to travel to their office and meet with someone, not to mention the time that goes into preparing for an interview, it's absurd to never hear from them again. Even reaching out via email gets ignored, they lack the basic decency to let you know the position has been filled.

I heard it so they can reduce liability of a applicant suing for some nebulous reason if they don't get a reason as to why they weren't hired. Still bullshit though.

Hang in their OP. Going through a similar process on a job

>Submit application
>Online assesment
>2 weeks later had to take a assessment test at a testing center
>3 weeks later I'm told I passed and now have to do a video interview
>We will get back to you in 15 business days
>25 business days later get an email that I passed and my application has been put in a talent pool
>Still waiting

Assuming I'm selected then I'm having to go through another round of bs to get clearance that could take months.

About to go the pajeet route and just spam the absolute fuck out of my resume everywhere regardless of qualifications

 

[Meiwaku]

For when you get the job OP.


I was looking for a job and then I found a job! And heaven knows I'm miserable now!

 

[Pizza Stain]

Cant speak for unions but I had a similar situation and got into the trades, specifically HVAC and really enjoy the work and the money.
Worked in the IT and got laid off from constant mergers, and got into the medical field but was full of the most catty office politics.

Eventually I got a job as a cashier while I took night school for two months for my EPA license. This year planning to break six figures, during the summer it's a ton of work but during winter you might only have one job a day.

 

[Breahna]

In the few cases you get any response you either give a good interview and hear nothing offering no feedback on what/if you can improve, or if you were just passed up for someone with more experience/personal connections, or you waste time only to be told it's a multi round interview process. (These faggots can swallow mercury. Don't waste your time entertaining this bullshit)

I don't know if the process is different for blue collar interviews, I've only been a waiter and then there was indeed only one interview, but any white collar job I ever applied to had at least 2, but generally 3 rounds of interviews. One with HR, one with your prospective manager, and maybe one to see your skill level on certain things they require (often this one was folded into the interview with management).

 

[NoReturn]

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU LOOKING FOR, AN INDIAN!?

Yes.

That is actually a reflection of their inner selves - being out of touch with reality, and wanting luxurious things like slave labor

 

[horseorigin]

Reading this thread makes me want to become a plumber.