Modern Hiring Processes/Standards - Do the goy dance wage cuck

[NoReturn]

Reading this thread makes me want to become a plumber.

Plumber is a great job if you're smart about it. It's kind of a similar career path to being a model (hear me out).

1. Start young enough your body is still nice and spry, learn everything you need to learn and make lots of connections to other people.
2. DO NOT GET FAT.
3. As you get older and your body starts to get worn out, this is when you take on an apprentice of your own, start or buy your own plumbing business, etc etc etc.

 

[888Flux]

the American economy is a game of retarded musical chairs that's coming to an end.

IF you can find stable employment, it's entirely meaningless

the majority of work is all bullshit and deep down everyone knows this. the only people who can willingly tolerate it are genuine sociopaths (90% of the managerial class), people with no brain activity, or people so fucked up on SSRIs that their emotions are blunted just so they can make it through the day.

your reward for doing this everyday is an exponential decline in quality of living and your savings increasingly eroded by inflation year over year. and this is if you are lucky enough to find stable employment in the first place. which itself doesn't really exist. the job security that other generations had simply isn't a thing anymore.

there are increasingly fewer opportunities available. we've reached the end of meritocracy and entered a system of credentialism that's entire goal is to entrench the existing managerial class.

there is no path for the vast majority of people to economic stability.

even if you jump through every hurdle, every hoop, and do the entire retarded fucking process, great, you now have to compete against every other person on the planet who has ever lived plus hope The Economy doesn't fuck you over. also enjoy competing against infinity migrants and shitskins from every third world hellhole ever because fuck you, you are expendable and meaningless.

 

[JenkinsJinkies]

Reading this thread is depressing AF, I'm beyond thankful to have never experienced the majority of this horseshit.

On a more positive front, as a manager I have been able to hire my last two analysts with zero HR input or involvement after only a single interview with myself, and I work for a fairly large (>50k employees in the US) company.

 

[Pork Wellington]

Reading this thread is depressing AF, I'm beyond thankful to have never experienced the majority of this horseshit.

On a more positive front, as a manager I have been able to hire my last two analysts with zero HR input or involvement after only a single interview with myself, and I work for a fairly large (>50k employees in the US) company.

I've only experienced that once when applying for work, and it turned out that manager was the best one I had ever worked for.
If only there were more of your kind around. Maybe workplaces wouldn't be so fucking degrading and retarded.

 

[ChompChomp]

@CornBogFitz if you want someone to review your resume, feel free to send over a copy (or, link to a file) with sensitive info redacted and I can take a look.

Job Application tip: If a field (eg - name, gender) isn't flagged as "required," don't fill it in.

Another tip: During those assessment tests, choosing what you think the employer expects isn't always the best response.

 

[WhyRead]

It's a numbers game and I'm over 200 applications in. I think AI, fake listings, and recruiters have made everything 10x worse.

 

[Pork Wellington]

@CornBogFitz if you want someone to review your resume, feel free to send over a copy (or, link to a file) with sensitive info redacted and I can take a look.

Job Application tip: If a field (eg - name, gender) isn't flagged as "required," don't fill it in.

Another tip: During those assessment tests, choosing what you think the employer expects isn't always the best response.

Ugh, not this shit. Fuck off back to Reddit.

 

[74164978231]

Are you not aware that this is a test to see if you are able to keep yourself as bland as possible in the workplace? Having an interesting life, being unusual or having any idiosyncracies, those would make you an unappealing hire because if you can't keep it to yourself for a few hours at an interview, you definitely won't be able to do so after you've been hired. You will be expected to put up with your boss's quirks, of course.

I'd say it's more likely a long nebulous test they can use as a catch all to not hire anyone they don't like with as little room for being sued for discrimination of some kind.

Few years ago I applied for a job at Microsoft. Got interviewed. Was 3 hours long by 3 different people. Almost none of it has to do with technical knowledge of the job, was mostly bullshit qa for them to have a million reasons why you don't "fit".

 

[WhyRead]

I'd say it's more likely a long nebulous test they can use as a catch all to not hire anyone they don't like with as little room for being sued for discrimination of some kind.

Few years ago I applied for a job at Microsoft. Got interviewed. Was 3 hours long by 3 different people. Almost none of it has to do with technical knowledge of the job, was mostly bullshit qa for them to have a million reasons why you don't "fit".

This is also part of why companies are so inefficient these days. Nobody hires based on actual skill or technical knowledge anymore, they hire based on vibes and how good of a yes man you are in the interview. 90% of companies do a "vibe check" interview first and the technical interview second, that means that the most skilled autists aren't even making it to the 2nd interview.

 

[Premium Gonzo]

@CornBogFitz if you want someone to review your resume, feel free to send over a copy (or, link to a file) with sensitive info redacted and I can take a look.

Job Application tip: If a field (eg - name, gender) isn't flagged as "required," don't fill it in.

Another tip: During those assessment tests, choosing what you think the employer expects isn't always the best response.

@ChompChomp
You know i've thought about it and i'd actually like you to review my resume. I've redacted any phonebookable information but would appreciate some advice on how to clean up, and make it a little more modern. I've been in my job for over 15 years and i'm looking to move to something better and i need advice i'm having trouble getting calls backs . I trust you retards more over the general populace.

Can you have a look and post your thoughts? It might help others here to freshen up their resume, and give me some genuine ideas on how to better get call backs and interviews for an older person.


Please read

 

[Flatline]

I have been able to hire my last two analysts with zero HR input or involvement after only a single interview with myself

Can you elaborate on "zero HR input or involvement"? Interesting that a U.S.-based company with 50,000 employees doesn't have a human resources department that is actively involved in recruitment, hiring, and onboarding. Sounds like a minefield of legal liabilities.

 

[deleuzeon]

You should be faking your entire resume. You should be lying to recruiters. As a white man, your race on the job application is "Jewish" or "Latino." This country hates you. Start acting like it.

 

[JenkinsJinkies]

Can you elaborate on "zero HR input or involvement"? Interesting that a U.S.-based company with 50,000 employees doesn't have a human resources department that is actively involved in recruitment, hiring, and onboarding. Sounds like a minefield of legal liabilities.

HR opened up my job req and posted it for the masses with the education and experience requirements I told them (none), I personally reviewed resumes and called individuals in for interviews then told them who to begin processing for hire, they obviously went through orientation and onboarding but had no involvement with our HR department before that.

 

[ChompChomp]

HR opened up my job req and posted it for the masses with the education and experience requirements I told them (none), I personally reviewed resumes and called individuals in for interviews then told them who to begin processing for hire, they obviously went through orientation and onboarding but had no involvement with our HR department before that.

I can confirm being called/contacted by hiring managers from larger organizations for an initial touch base and interview.

Hilariously, I was doing well in a process like that for a major billboard/ad company in the US. Then I had to talk with an HR rep and, low and behold, I was no longer in consideration.

HR is a scourge and somehow remains relevant amid not having legal or managerial experience.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

HR can smell that you're all Kiwi Farms users. There's no escape from here.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

Spoiler: Possible PL job interview you fags might find interesting

I went to a doozy of an interview yesterday. The recruiter said that all of the lies in my resume were great, but the true parts were problematic because I was clearly overqualified for the role. On top of that, he was worried because my most recent experience has been in a different, far less shitty industry, and it seemed possible that I might jump ship when an opportunity presented itself (true).

I lied and said that I was looking for employment in a company which had a clear path for advancement, and even if I found them insufficient, they would have me for at least two years. That lie wasn't big enough, though - he wanted someone who would stay with the company for "the long run", a frankly insane goal given the extreme turnover in management reported on different job review sites.

Before I could ask him why he invited me in for an interview if he thought I was wrong for the job and didn't trust me, he went on to offer me a shittier role at the company one tier beneath the one they had claimed to be hiring for. The scam was reveealed at that point. The position I had applied for wasn't actually open, and the person whose position I thought was open would actually be my supervisor. The person who had been in this new position likely quit recently, and they needed someone who could fill in right away.

He was evasive about the pay and benefits ("It varies with the exact location and team performance") and what kind of hours would be expected from me, so obviously it would completely suck ass. I smiled and said that was fine, and now I'll be going in for a second interview soon. It doesn't matter because he's right - I will quit as soon as something better comes along, but in the meantime a couple of paychecks will help me avoid eating into my savings.

A couple of miscellaneous notes about the interviewer:

* The man demanding a lifetime commitment to the company had only worked there for about a year.

* He spent almost five minutes bragging about how easy his job was while emphasizing how difficult things would be for me.

* He frowned when I laid down strict limits on working at certain times and days when it's not normal to have people coming in anyway. Red flag!

 

[CornBogFitz]

Stumbled into a hiring event at buccees today. They pay well but work you like an absolute mule. I was told shifts would likely be 8-12 hrs ONE 20 minute break per day. Regardless of hours. No phone EVER. I can respect the no phone rule given how they actually pay a livable wage. I am NOT thrilled about the little goy dances they’ll be making me go through such as chants and shit. Something unnerved me about the way the manager walked me to the interview room. He was taking those really long steps like he was in a hurry to get anywhere. that pisses me off man. When you’re expected to essentially power walk indoors all day to get anywhere. Oh well. I’ll put up with it. Can’t be worse than doing door to door sales in the summer like last year.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

No phone EVER. I can respect the no phone rule given how they actually pay a livable wage.

There is always an exception for the boss's favorites, so get on his good side and you'll be back here during work hours in no time.

 

[CornBogFitz]

There is always an exception for the boss's favorites, so get on his good side and you'll be back here during work hours in no time.

Nope. Apparently, no phone call back. The “mass hiring event” that I was first in line for at 7am didn’t call back. They said I would receive an answer in 24 hours, if not, no hire. I guess I am simply not cut out for FUCKING BUCCEES! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! I ONLY LIVE 20 FUCKING MINUTES AWAY!

as I was typing this I got a phone call. I answered and said hello multiple times, so I hung up and called back. aparently it was a “tax relief program” THANK YOU INDEED! FOR SELLING MY FUCKING INFO. The absolute emotional whiplash of relief and hope flooded over by pure hatred and homicidal rage

It’s raining all day today. I can even go for a run and blow off steam.

 

[VIPPER?]

Fuck the job market, I'm gonna just brew shitty wine and grow weed.