Modern Hiring Processes/Standards - Do the goy dance wage cuck

[NoReturn]

The ones getting hired aren’t soulless corpospeak or AI slop. They actually have something original and interesting about them. That might be a shocker

This makes me think that only le quirky reddit chunguses are making it through her filter.

 

[Premium Gonzo]

Speaking of AI slop I've actually been applying for jobs to get out of the one I'm in now, not a huge rush but casually putting the feelers out.

Of the two responses i got back from the 10 i applied for (pretty good odds i know) both of them had AI automation shit attached to it. The first one was a video response sent by the HR highlighting my skills, i cracked the shits and emailed the HR back and told her to shove it up her arse because if she's to lazy to pick up a phone or read my resume I'm not going to be dehumanised by video AI, that was very satisfying i must admit.

Second one was slightly less annoying in the sense it set up a scheduled appointment for the HR to actually call me to have the preliminary phone interview, but they farmed it out to some slop American company so entering a phone number had to be in retarded burger formatting. It took me half an hour and googling to work out what the fuck it wanted.

 

[Incorrigible Bigotry]

They actually have something original and interesting about them.

Usually to HR that means they're either a faggot, an ethnic minority of some kind, or a woman who has the words "Eat, Laugh, Love" framed in her lounge room.

 

[CornBogFitz]

Speaking of AI slop I've actually been applying for jobs to get out of the one I'm in now, not a huge rush but casually putting the feelers out.

Of the two responses i got back from the 10 i applied for (pretty good odds i know) both of them had AI automation shit attached to it. The first one was a video response sent by the HR highlighting my skills, i cracked the shits and emailed the HR back and told her to shove it up her arse because if she's to lazy to pick up a phone or read my resume I'm not going to be dehumanised by video AI, that was very satisfying i must admit.

Second one was slightly less annoying in the sense it set up a scheduled appointment for the HR to actually call me to have the preliminary phone interview, but they farmed it out to some slop American company so entering a phone number had to be in retarded burger formatting. It took me half an hour and googling to work out what the fuck it wanted.

please post the email you sent. censor your info. Leave in the shitty HR rep so we can email them gore please.

 

[ShahOfIran1979]

Make niche furry porn. You can earn a fortune, as all furries are tech millionaires. You may have to swallow your dignity, but who cares?

 

[CEO of Gay]

Make niche furry porn. You can earn a fortune, as all furries are tech millionaires. You may have to swallow your dignity, but who cares?

Seems there's at least a few thirsty furries in this thread looking for new porn artists to lowball.

 

[Premium Gonzo]

please post the email you sent. censor your info. Leave in the shitty HR rep so we can email them gore please.

I'll have a think about it before i post anything, it wasn't anything ground breaking like you probably fuck dogs as a side hobby. But i made it abundantly clear i wasn't impressed.

 

[Nigger Respecter]

This makes me think that only le quirky reddit chunguses are making it through her filter.

Usually to HR that means they're either a faggot, an ethnic minority of some kind, or a woman who has the words "Eat, Laugh, Love" framed in her lounge room.

If you guys believe that’s how it works but aren’t doing it, then you’re retards

 

[Chicha Drinker]

Oh my favorite. “Yes you submitted your resumé, now please go to our website and fill out everything that’s on your resumé.

You know how boomers whinge about the agony of having to look up information without computers and how long it took? I feel like this will be the Millenial/Zoomer equivalent to that, what stings worst of all is that its completely pointless apart from telling their gay ass algorithm what to look for. And if you have the wrong thing listed on your application? You just spent a half hour filling out your own rejection letter.

Soul crushing.

 

[NoReturn]

If you guys believe that’s how it works but aren’t doing it, then you’re retards

I didn't say I thought that's how it worked. I said that's what it seems like. Maybe your wife isn't doing it, but the "Oh I want to see some personality!" angle just reminds me of the times I've seen shit like people getting their resume rejected because the screener didn't like their choice of accent color.
By saying "The ones getting hired aren’t soulless corpospeak" you're saying everyone who is doing what they were told to do to be "professional" is getting thrown out.

 

[Neighborhood Curmudgeon]

Though I am currently employed, I do feel your pain! Before I got my current job, job hunting was fucking awful. I hate all the hoops you have to jump through just to get even an entry-level job. What's really funny to me is that after you get the job, most of those lofty requirements end up becoming irrelevant when you're actually working. At least, that's how it panned out with my job. The job opening had all these requirements for certifications and whatnot, but at the end of the day I'm just the mail guy. Which I like that too by the way!

Here's hoping you find either the job you want or something to hold you over. I really think many employers exaggerate the KSAs people supposedly need just to do the vast majority of jobs.

 

[VIPPER?]

Seems there's at least a few thirsty furries in this thread looking for new porn artists to lowball.

People who say this are as retarded as the boomers that look at zucc and say "just learn to code lol, 90k starting and you'll be a millionaire by 25 if you have a Good Idea!!!"

 

[Sandnigger Mudhut]

People who say this are as retarded as the boomers that look at zucc and say "just learn to code lol, 90k starting and you'll be a millionaire by 25 if you have a Good Idea!!!"

Drawing furry porn that people would spend hundreds on requires you to be GOOD at drawing, something that you have to start learning in middle school. Drawing bootcamps will make you competent at drawing, not good. Transitioning to drawing furry porn from your failed job search in IT isn't realistic.

One could make a book out of the garbage, uninformed advice given on the job market. The 20-year-old having to navigate through the mountain of the sludge that is the industry of job advice is only encouraged to go the NEET lifestyle, an outcome we're already starting to see more and more of.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I'm in the process of applying for new jobs and I'm struggling to even get rejection letters. I have several years experience in my field and meet all the criteria listed in the job ad but I don't even merit a template e-mail to say 'thanks but no thanks'.

When I last to perform a job search, this was my experience. A recruiter actually accused me lying about this, so I pulled my job search records and pointed out that over 4 of 5 places I applied to never even acknowledged receipt of my application let alone reject me outright. Said recruiter had no response for that. It ground my gears that applicants have to jump through all the hoops yet aren't entitled to any sort of common courtesy in return.

I've worked for a small business for 13 years, if my boss ever hangs it up I'm fucked.

I had a similar experience where my boss abruptly died, leaving me in limbo. Thankfully, someone in the boss' professional network had an opening they needed filled ASAP and I turned out to be a good fit.

I bitched about this on the How Are You Doing? thread, but I went to a group interview where we had to choose what color we are and did some stupid personality test. We got told the "meaning" of our color or some stupid shit like that, and a long lecture. I contacted a few people who were in my group interview and I don't think anyone got hired. Must be nice to be a recruiter, paid to waste everyone's time.

When the economy sucked in the mid-2000's, a local group offered a weekly meeting for job-seekers. What I expected versus the reality was two different things: The meetings were little more than motivational pep talks from some guy with a fancy title and his associates who gave generic advice one could get anywhere. I stopped going after two weeks because it was a waste of time, and the two or three people in my sub-network that were supposed to stay in touch with each other never did after the first week.

Needless to say, things are looking good now. Chin up everyone. Every now and then I still think about this miserable waste of two hours.
In hindsight, trust your instinct. You will know when you know. If an interview process is feeling retarded, you're probably the retard in the room (by their parameters).
Don't trade your dignity for a job. Walk out.

There is some truth to this. I've walked away from interviews willing to concede when it was obvious the job wasn't going to be a good fit for me. In one instance, I dodged a huge bullet by turning down a job offer for a company whose #1 client went bankrupt shortly after my interview -- likely causing them to go out of business themselves.

Fucking Indeed is filled with scammers that just want your data, by the way.

This sucks, but it's not surprising that scammers go on the platform(s) of choice for employers and job seekers. Equally sucking are the places that simply collect resumes and information with little or no intent to interview anyone for the positions they list.

I don't know the OP's situation, but social networking - if appropriate - sometimes works better. especially with all the so many companies still using some flavor of DEI in their management processes when hiring external candidates. Hang in there, fren, and good luck.
(Edited for spelling and clarity)

 

[VIPPER?]

One could make a book out of the garbage, uninformed advice given on the job market. The 20-year-old having to navigate through the mountain of the sludge that is the industry of job advice is only encouraged to go the NEET lifestyle, an outcome we're already starting to see more and more of.

There's a site run by some boomer HR karen called askamanager.com and while some of the advice is not applicable to anyone but other boomer HR karens, she does a good job being mostly sane and calling out nonsense for what it is. Navigate with care, though, the vast majority of post-coof content is stdh.txt stories submitted by readers.

A recruiter actually accused me lying about this, so I pulled y job search records and pointed out that over 4 of 5 places I applied to never even acknowledged receipt of my application let alone reject my outright.

Never talk to recruiters. Only exception are in-house ones at really big places. Third party recruiters are scum, do nothing of value for anyone, and I am shocked that their "industry" hasn't collapsed under the weight of how utterly ineffective they are for both job seekers AND the client companies.

 

[Helarctos]

I'm telling you right now to try everything but online shit. I used Indeed almost everyday through months of being unemployed and it just wasted my fucking time. The only exception was Craigslist, that's how I found one of my two current jobs. I found the other by doing landscaping for people and one of my clients told me of a landscaping guy that needed another worker.
Do whatever you can, ask friends, family, friends of your parents, etc. if anyone needs work that you can do or if anyone running a business is hiring. Drive around the neighborhood, go see what businesses, preferably a small business, are around and literally just ask whoever you see if they are looking to hire another hand. Beggars can't be choosers, of course, but do try to either be paid under the table or on a 1099 (report all your income and don't break the law, okay?).
As someone with a (relatively) useless degree and no specific career path, this was the only way I could actually manage to find steady work while also completely bypassing HR roasties and corporate, tie wearing cuckholds. I will pray for you CornBog, it won't be easy but once you're in, you're in.

I bitched about this on the How Are You Doing? thread, but I went to a group interview where we had to choose what color we are and did some stupid personality test. We got told the "meaning" of our color or some stupid shit like that, and a long lecture. I contacted a few people who were in my group interview and I don't think anyone got hired. Must be nice to be a recruiter, paid to waste everyone's time.

Lmao, I had the same humiliation ritual done to me in a group interview for a fucking hardware store (thanks Indeed!). They had us choose colors and attributes that best describes us, none of it mattered. One of the fat ass managers was disappointed there were no women in the group, literally said out loud to himself "I thought for sure there was going to girls applying". Never work for a corporation, only work for men or yourself.

 

[CEO of Gay]

Never talk to recruiters. Only exception are in-house ones at really big places. Third party recruiters are scum, do nothing of value for anyone, and I am shocked that their "industry" hasn't collapsed under the weight of how utterly ineffective they are for both job seekers AND the client companies.

I partially disagree. A good recruiter is worth it.

In college, due to a sequence of events, I ended up in touch with a recruiter. He was good at what he did and helped me find a job that was a very good match to the skills I was learning in college. It only took a few interviews before I had a position. He was able to do the same for a number of my classmates.

Similarly, at a previous job, we needed to back fill a position after a teammate left for greener pastures. At first, we tried to let HR handle it. That was a mistake. The resumes were mostly indistinguishable, and seemed barely relevant to the requirements we'd described to HR. After a number of interviews where the candidates proved useless, our manager got in touch with a recruiter. We described the skills needed to the recruiter, and soon got a short list of good resumes. We had our perfect candidate after 3 tries. He stayed for a while and got a lot of good work done.

Sadly, that is not the case that with all recruiters. All too many are incompetent, or are outright fraudsters.

 

[pippy]

Filled out an extremely long test with questions like "Would you steal from the company if nobody found out???" And was called for an interview and did very well. In-person interview next, and I have to fill out a ton of paperwork at a gate and then wait 20 minutes because there's nobody at the desk to let people into the building itself. Instead of the white guy manager I was supposed to interview with, they tossed me this nappy haired black queen who's 10 minutes late. She then proceeds to brush aside everything I have to say and asks generic HR questions in unbelievable ebonics. Her phone starts going off, and she calls it her "sail foam." I have to start up something I was saying 5 times because of her interruptions, and she gives me nothing to work with. Got rejected the same afternoon via email despite me having relevant experience. I noticed a few months after that every single employee I've seen from that company has been some room temp IQ Black. It's my fault for living in a white minority state and expecting anything different I suppose.

There are tons of job postings here that require Spanish, and it drives me up the wall that they can ask for that. I don't mean like working as a translator. I mean everyone at the location can barely speak English, so you need to know Spanish to communicate with them.

Slightly off topic, but I don't understand how people can deal with corporate culture and retarded bosses. Maybe it's the assburgers but I get so burned out so quickly at any job I'm at now just from dealing with these people. Boss that can barely speak English and treats you like some mouth breather that will steal from the company any chance you get. How do I have to make a big deal out of getting paid for a meeting I had to attend on my day off(not salaried). I've walked out on so many jobs the last few years, and I never feel anything besides incredible relief. I want to work, hell, I'd even stack boxes on a shelf if people just left me alone and let me be productive.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Never talk to recruiters.

I partially disagree. A good recruiter is worth it.

Both of these can be correct in specific instances.

In @VIPPER? 's reply, I learned right away the specific recruiter in that story was awful and revealed a bigger trend of recruiters in that field caring more about themselves than the people they tried to place in positions. If I recall, this about the same time I decided to switch careers and dropped this recruiter like a hot potato .

@CEO of Gay is right that good recruiters are worth it if and when they exist. During a different job search, I had a positive experience with another recruiter who gave me good advice during one particular job search and took the time to survey my skills and needs so to only contact me with openings that I'd legitimately consider.

All too many are incompetent, or are outright fraudsters.

Sadly, this feels like the rule and not the exception for the current batch of recruiters. Those companies still having DEI-related hiring policies aren't helping matters, either, as exhibited by some of the stories shared so far in this thread.

 

[VIPPER?]

REFERENCES

I gave up on finding a normal job the day I had an offer rescinded because the HR rats didn't get a response fast enough from my references.

I did okay in an interview, it was for some shitty telephone/ticket support position, I had a starting date, a contract full of NDA bullshit and how little vacation time I'd get, the actual department head basically said "welcome to the team; show up at 8" but it was "postponed indefinitely" because I only had one reference reply.

And in asking the guys I listed what they wrote, I got basically
"I gave you a glowing review and truly believe it; i'll forward it to you if you don't believe me and the same will be on your next performance review" from one and "They never contacted me once and I've never even heard of this company." from the other.
and also "keep my name out yo mouth bitch i didnt reply to that shit lol" when the second guy said he wasnt even contacted and I panicked and gave a different boss as a third
I still look at my indeed spam but don't even bother to apply, it's not worth even the effort of clicking. Some dumb HR rat has decided on their absolute requirements, I won't fit one(1) and that's it, it's over.