🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Uber driver reviewer]

I don't mean to be a post-gunt sex tape wet blanket, but the authorities will catch Ethan way before somebody with a switchblade does.

I've lived north of Medellin for many years as a gringo. Down there people travel in groups. So if I see you and I know you and you're in another group, your group will think I'm cool because you know me and vice versa we won't have a problem.

Loud mouth fucking Americans will attract the wrong kind of attention. However, this time last year there was a massive arrest and sting op for an American and I mean fat greasy American sex ring. Underage girls human trafficking abuse rape the whole nine. To get into that part of town, you have to have plans to leave or they won't let you in. The federal government in Columbia is very strict and will watch most of his moves.

Also, the economy has really hit the fan there as of late. People who were bad before are desperate and people who were good before are now desperate as well. I would not be surprised if he wakes up on the street naked.

Aside from that, if you've never been, it's a beautiful city. It's a beautiful country. The people are very warm-hearted very helpful and polite. The women are beautiful. The climate is perfect. Everyday. You can eat like a king on the street for $16 American. However if you walk in looking for trouble asking for drugs etc. It's like failing a mission early in Grand theft Auto and you will find yourself getting your face punched in. The locals do not take kindly to people referring to Pablo, Escobar and cocaine. They're not proud of that past, but the people who were around doing other bad things will always teach a lesson.

Most police interactions in the street after hours are similar to a Rodney King beating situation. This should be interesting

FWIW I’m glad gunt is alive and well.

 

[KhorneFlakes]

I've lived north of Medellin for many years as a gringo

Is tuci still a big thing down there? I can see Ralph being dumb enought to literally think it's just pink coke and ODing

 

[BallBuster II]

He is going to pop back up soon in my opinion. Something happened, but I don't think it was death. Maybe a health issue that landed him in the hospital.

 

[Sir Baz the Intolerant]

Bold for you to assume they're even 18

He has a bit of form for this too. Remember the Soph incident?

 

[Captain Ahab]

Medellín isn’t that dangerous. Worst that’s gonna happen is he’s gonna get robbed. Medellin is full of retarded tourists. It’s probably one of the safest major cities in Colombia.

Bogotá and especially Cali would’ve been more interesting.

Personally I would highly recommend Buenaventura or Cúcuta. Very nice drugs, Ethan. Really cheap. And the prostitutes. You’ll love it, Ethan, trust me,

 

[Oliver Onions]

after columbia gunt should go to south africa
i hear johannesburg is safe nowdays

Pussy shit. He should apply for a press pass and become a citizen journalist in North Korea. The king of the sektur will show them Best Koreans how things are done. Plus Kim Jung Un's dad was a huge fan of Godzilla movies and Ralph doesn't even need a rubber suit to look like a kaiju.

 

[Harambe]

Medellín isn’t that dangerous. Worst that’s gonna happen is he’s gonna get robbed. Medellin is full of retarded tourists. It’s probably one of the safest major cities in Colombia.

Bogotá and especially Cali would’ve been more interesting.

Personally I would highly recommend Buenaventura or Cúcuta. Very nice drugs, Ethan. Really cheap. And the prostitutes. You’ll love it, Ethan, trust me,

With endorsements like that I'm already planning my trip. Ethan do you really want to miss out on the cheap nice drugs, I sure don't!

 

[David Spadem]

Just a reminder, Ralph fucked a former Pornstar and OF Whore and hosted her on the Killstream. He gunted her with May and paid her pimp for the privilege so expect the same to occur in Columbia.

Spoiler: Gunted Whore NSFW

Thread '13/03/2021 Killstream Whorehouse with Jaimie Vine' https://kiwifarms.net/threads/13-03-2021-killstream-whorehouse-with-jaimie-vine.86366/

Just to add to my alogging back then, I reported her to OnlyFans for filming her clients with her clients having no chance to decline the filming and her making money off their "content" with no kickback to the paying customers. OF ended up removing all non-consensual money making videos of her clients. Never updated the thread with that info so there you go. About 70% of her videos were deleted as a result and no... Ralph wasn't among them unfortunately. She probably decided a fat bifurcated gunted man wasn't a money maker and didn't film the hog hump.

 

[baddabing44]

Bro when I was there last year, like 8 Americans had been killed and it was only February, most of them were retards like Ralph, who went there to fuck whores, and found out the hard way that these impoverished women do not enjoy fucking old or fat American men.

Medellín isn’t that dangerous. Worst that’s gonna happen is he’s gonna get robbed. Medellin is full of retarded tourists. It’s probably one of the safest major cities in Colombia

 

[Smack Patrick]

8 Americans had been killed

Well Ralph has the biomass of 10 Americans so he should be fine.

 

[TV's Adam West]

I'M THE GUNTED PHOENIX, BISH!

I RISE FROM THE ASHES CAUSE I'M FUCKIN IMMORTAL BISH!

Spoiler: GUNT

View attachment 7289666

For the record I actually think he's got nearly 10 years left in him; spite and tortas alone will keep him alive into his late 40s. He'll just get more and more decrepit and repulsive until he dies age 48, drunkenly tripping over his gunt and falling down some stairs.

You just reminded me that Gunt isn't even 40 yet and looks at least 50s. Holy shit.

 

[Dicksmash Turbofist]

So is Mexico too expensive for him now? What's the next step a year from now, the Congo?

There's nothing Ethen would love more than living among the dumbest, blackest, most aids ridden bulls in all of Africa.

 

[sufferhorse]

ralph, a ton of people. specially mersh. made some nasty jokes and comments about you dying. people that are supposed to be your friends. i suggest you dont let that happen. mersh needs to be taught a lesson.

 

[Magic Sun Daddy]

ralph, a ton of people. specially mersh. made some nasty jokes and comments about you dying. people that are supposed to be your friends. i suggest you dont let that happen. mersh needs to be taught a lesson.

For real for real. They straight up clowned Ralph when they're supposed to be tight. Now me personally, I wouldn't take that level of disrespect but I guess Ralph's getting soft in his autumn years.

 

[Oxyjen]

South of the border wasn't far enough, he had to go south of the equator?

I insist he’s been there already:

Post in thread '🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets'

Mar 24, 2025

Sorry to be both retarded and late, but is this the voice of Ethan Ralph, in this random short YouTube just shoved at me?

• Oxyjen

• 
• 
• 

 

[drammamean]

I'll give Ralph some credit, a wigger oaf like him surviving the lower half of the Americas alone for 2 years can not be easy on his wits or his wallet.

If you'd ever been to Mexico proper and not beach resorts, you wouldn't say this. I've been all over the interior of Mexico, including by car, and it's perfectly safe most places. The locals will generally tell you what areas to avoid, but there's really nothing to worry about in most of the major cities.

The border is where most of the danger is and I've crossed over many times, including on foot where some "Americans" (blacks) were murdered and at night by car, and the only real concern is getting shaken down by the police (which is just an annoyance). I paid the gringo tax the first time and have since talked my way out of it twice and I don't even know Spanish.

The people are really nice and a gringo could have a nice life somewhere like Mexico City. Ralph's main issue is the social isolation and low quality of life from being an English speaker in a bumfuck town with very few amenities. It's shocking how few people down there speak English.

This is all assuming you're not a freakish looking man-piglet with a big mouth that obviously can't handle himself.

 

[break these cuffs]

I don't mean to be a post-gunt sex tape wet blanket, but the authorities will catch Ethan way before somebody with a switchblade does.

I've lived north of Medellin for many years as a gringo. Down there people travel in groups. So if I see you and I know you and you're in another group, your group will think I'm cool because you know me and vice versa we won't have a problem.

Loud mouth fucking Americans will attract the wrong kind of attention. However, this time last year there was a massive arrest and sting op for an American and I mean fat greasy American sex ring. Underage girls human trafficking abuse rape the whole nine. To get into that part of town, you have to have plans to leave or they won't let you in. The federal government in Columbia is very strict and will watch most of his moves.

Also, the economy has really hit the fan there as of late. People who were bad before are desperate and people who were good before are now desperate as well. I would not be surprised if he wakes up on the street naked.

Aside from that, if you've never been, it's a beautiful city. It's a beautiful country. The people are very warm-hearted very helpful and polite. The women are beautiful. The climate is perfect. Everyday. You can eat like a king on the street for $16 American. However if you walk in looking for trouble asking for drugs etc. It's like failing a mission early in Grand theft Auto and you will find yourself getting your face punched in. The locals do not take kindly to people referring to Pablo, Escobar and cocaine. They're not proud of that past, but the people who were around doing other bad things will always teach a lesson.

Most police interactions in the street after hours are similar to a Rodney King beating situation. This should be interesting

>living in colombia for many years
>spelling it columbia

You have to go back white boy.

 

[W@rui]

ralph, a ton of people. specially mersh. made some nasty jokes and comments about you dying. people that are supposed to be your friends. i suggest you dont let that happen. mersh needs to be taught a lesson.

He knows how this game works, he's a willing participant.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Is scopolamine real? That could come in handy when a restaurant refuses to serve you off the lunch menu at dinner time.

 

[Harry Angel]

Is it time to sacrifice Ralph to the porn?