🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Vernon Dozier]

So why did it take three days? We know Ralph takes his usual handful of Xanax before traveling, but did he get on the wrong flight? Get denied boarding because he was intoxicated?

 

[break these cuffs]

Medellín isn’t that dangerous. Worst that’s gonna happen is he’s gonna get robbed. Medellin is full of retarded tourists. It’s probably one of the safest major cities in Colombia.

It is the safest major city in Colombia. It has a murder rate lower than shithole American cities like Chicongo. There was an interesting article I read when the Colombia arc was first proposed about an unexpectedly high number of tourists getting kind in 2024 as @baddabing44 noted.

 

[The Wokest]

Is scopolamine real?

Who fucking cares, imagine not using liquid Clonazepam to rob tourist.
Learn the new meta noob.
You'd make a terrible criminal ho.

 

[Echnaton]

So is Mexico too expensive for him now? What's the next step a year from now, the Congo?

I know a guy who's kinda like the Rage Pig (short, fat, ugly) except without the retarded and actually successful with women, he lives in Africa due to business - he was even living in South Sudan for a while - and even he was like "Congo fucking SUCKS". So I think we'll find Ralph in Somalia eventually instead.

 

[Burd Turglar]

There goes Ralph's only chance to beat Nick for Lolcow of the Year.

I think about the only way Nick is winning this year is if that body cam drops.

 

[Philier]

View attachment 7289554
This song started playing in my head when i read this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PtJ6yAGjsIs&pp=ygURbmFyY29zIHRoZW1lIHNvbmc%3D

Netflix Presents...

Puercos

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

I think about the only way Nick is winning this year is if that body cam drops.

Nah, he will violate his probation and go to jail.
Ethan Ralph has some big potential with his current arc, so we will see how big of a fuckup he manages.

Being cut up live on stream by a cartel member for groping his girl is a distinct possibility.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

I hope Ethan Ralph gets kidnapped by some Colombian rebel group or a drug cartel

Once they realize he has no money and no family to pay his ransom, they'll stuff drugs under his gunt and loose skin and send him north.

 

[N1bbaN3rd]

However if you walk in looking for trouble asking for drugs etc. It's like failing a mission early in Grand theft Auto and you will find yourself getting your face punched in.

Sounds like we can look forward to Ralph tweeting from a Colombian hospital bed.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Team Ralphisafuckupandlostsomethingimportantandtryingtogetitbackbeforehegetsbackonline wins again!

 

[FMW13]

My guess is he was on another drunk binge passed out for a couple days woke up on a plane after another blackout event. Yeah dude is a pig roach.

 

[Xev]

Has he gotten his ass kicked yet?

 

[BT9494]

Ralph is going to get his ass beat in yet another foreign country, isn't he?

 

[PsyopDuck]

The food in Medellin alone is going to be torment for the Ralphamalé..Compared to the $0.20 Mexican tortas that he's used to the food in Colombia is quite bland.

 

[brazilsucksdick]

Colombia is fucking fantastic if you're going to do the touristy thing or business.

I love Colombia

people say the damnedest things

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Ralph's not dead... yet.

There are worse places to go in Colombia than Medellin, but this is Ralph. A man who got beat in Lisbon, Portugal. Twice. Granted, the second time was a gunt hunt, but Ralph would have found a way. But as others have pointed out, even la policia may have it out for Ralph in Medellin. Just a quick search of recent news in English:
"Hawaiian Man Arrested in Medellín for Soliciting Sex with a Minor"

https://www.financecolombia.com/hawaiian-man-arrested-in-medellin-for-soliciting-sex-with-a-minor/

https://archive.ph/BmDAI

Throw in Ralph's various chemical addictions, and prison may as well be a death sentence to Ralph.

Also, whenever Ralph dies, he's going to hell.

 

[Detective Smocaine]

Happy to see him alive, I would much rather watch him livestream his death as apposed to him drowning in the ocean like a fat little bish.

Five star days incoming

 

[Too Sneed to care]

"yet" if this was a book or movie we know he's going to die down there, knowing Ethan rage pig Ralph he's going to get his ass jumped again, I wonder what's going to be broken this time

 

[hotprolaps]

Thank Christ Ralph lives.

I was getting worried I was going to have to fix my own life instead of just laughing at the dumpster fire that is the Rage Pig's existence.

 

[Easterling]

My bets on Ralph being too poor / jewish to bribe local the police/army when trying to travel. Columbia's chief export to the world second to marching powder are mercenaries and there's plenty of corruption within the countries security forces to result in something bad happening to a fat American drug addict.