🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[porkWellington]

Rekieta gets his sentencing, Ralph's tagging and congratulating him. Ralph goes missing for days, not a peep from Rekieta.

 

[JULAY]

This idiot will end up getting scoped. Medellin is bad at the moment. A lot of different criminals from surrounding countries are going specifically to El Poblado with the intention of drugging and robbing foreigners, using scopamaline. They don't care if the gringo ends up dead, in hospital or permanently affected. Rule of Colombia is if you're getting offered pussy from women you've just met you're getting set up to be robbed, especially if he is hiring chicas from the street and bringing them back to an air bnb.

I love Colombia, but it is a minefield for idiots. Some get scoped and robbed, others walk around with obvious wealth and get shot and stabbed for it, others get into the local cocaine not realizing it hasn't been cut like the stuff they're used to and OD, others pick fights with local and end up being bashed or murdered. Some get addicted to basuco and end up walking around like zombies near Botero plaza.

Colombia is fucking fantastic if you're going to do the touristy thing or business. But if you're anyone like Ethan Ralph things can go tits up very quickly.

Having lived in Medellin for two years, I agree with everything that you said.

"No dar papaya" is a simple rule, but one that this retard absolutely won't be able to follow.

 

[Cherenkovblue]

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I have but one word in reply...

PIGGER!

 

[Lemmingwiser]

Colombia is fucking fantastic if you're going to do the touristy thing or business. But if you're anyone like Ethan Ralph things can go tits up very quickly.

I remember a colombian telling me that they have offices you can go into for killing people. I think it's one of the few examples where I prefer India. Give me designated shitting streets over designated killing offices.

 

[lol cow supreme]

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PLEASE can we have a Koke-Stream! LFG

 

[SCV]

I don't know why some people are disappointed he isn't dead. He should die in his chair during the Killstream surrounded by his piss bottles.

With the oblivion sound track.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

He's going to mouth off to the wrong man and wind up on whatever Liveleak clone is popular with his face being blowtorched off.

Was it ever confirmed what exactly he did to get his ass kicked in Portugal? There was a popular theory that he tried to get handsy with an underaged female but I could imagine that he just was retarded and said the wrong thing to the wrong people.

 

[ZazietheBeast]

Curious how this is going to play out. He went from Mexico which has considerable foreigner support to literal hostile ground. When I first saw the Healstream, never in my wildest dreams would see Ralph wind up in Columbia.

 

[BlastMonk]

Was it ever confirmed what exactly he did to get his ass kicked in Portugal? There was a popular theory that he tried to get handsy with an underaged female but I could imagine that he just was retarded and said the wrong thing to the wrong people.

Nah none. Asking for an underaged prostitutes he could gunt and the pimp beating the shit out of him for it is the popular idea on here. He orbital socket was broken though so someone really REALLY wanted to hurt the pig. Meaning it wasn't just a random mugging for his purse.

"No dar papaya" is a simple rule, but one that this retard absolutely won't be able to follow.

He's a short man that's nearly as wide as he is tall. He is fucked, he will be marked as an easy target by every piece of shit that lays eyes on him, plus Ralph isn't able to blend in and not draw attention for himself like a normal person. If he got himself beaten up in Spain of all places, and nearly had a cartel hit on him in a touristy part of Mexico, he's going to get himself into serious trouble in Colombia.

 

[Gator_Aids]

Let's Occam's Razor this bish. While flight time itself seems to be around the 6.5 hour mark, most flight have almost a day layover. The simplest answer to Ralph's disappearance is what he does every time he flies. He gets wasted and misses his flight. In this case, he likely passed out after another 5 Star Day during his almost 24 hour layover and snoozed his way through when he needed to depart. Conversely, he missed his flight due to being drunk when the cops gave him a poke and needed a few hours to pay them off. He's been silent, likely out of embarrassment knowing that the whole world is aware this is what he does every time and / or he lost another phone during his drunken antics.



Now that that's settled, we can all go back to speculating on how many underage, sex-trafficked girls Rape-It Ralph is going to, well, rape as a way of coping about the fact that his wife and daughter fled two years ago.

 

[The Punished Mitch]

Ralphamale don't fold to bullshit nigguh, Ralph gonna be eating GOOD with all these teenage Colombian booties around.

 

[yoursavior]

I do appreciate how Ralph is in a foreign country, then suddenly the "experts on the subject" come out to say "OH HE'LL TOTALLY DIE I KNOW FIRST HAND!"

Like shut up bish. Let the RALPHAMALE does what he want!

 

[Pelican Bones]

Well, I'd like to see ol Ralphamale wriggle his way out of THIS jam!
*Ralph wriggles his way out of the jam easily*
Ah! Well. Nevertheless,

 

[Wünderkind]

Welcome back Gunty King

 

[Zilortha]

5 star days in coca country? Hasn't Ralph learned that nothing good happens when he travels?
I don't like Ralph but I'm genuinely concerned he's gonna get himself hurt (more than usual)...

 

[The Wokest]

As I understand Ralph will be staying at the revenge porn guy's (Hunter Moore) apartment.

This is from this month

Xitter

Those mountains in the background combined with the other buildings should be enough to get a sense of direction
The mountains alone are distinct enough that you can find them really fast on google maps


South of the city maybe?

 

[Berrakh]

Why did we think he was dead? No tweets?

 

[(((Obar Lazcano Kamz)))]

I hope the people that kill him in Columbia at least film it, still mind boggled how ralph got away with living in mexico for so long.

 

[Delany's Donkey]

There was no chance Ralph was going to tap-out before meeting his match in the ring

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He's gonna beat you so hard you'll forget your own name! But don't worry, bish, he'll remember it so you won't have to.

 

[BigPeanut]

I think he eluded to plans to have sex with trafficked/coerced/or otherwise broken teenagers on this trip when some teen Latina porn studio tweeted him recently.

I found that to be very disappointing. I don't know why I expect him to be moral, but I thought that plan was low, for him.

One of the niggas catchphrases is quite literally “when you go low, I go lower”. I don’t think there has been a single evil thing that he has ever refused on the basis of “it’s evil” or “it’s wrong”.