Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

Larry David's Opera Cape said:
Yeah some sort of employee in green scrubs and maybe a face covering (too blurred to say). Some kind of pole standing in the entryway- maybe not an IV pole, but could be, something similar. A bottle of disinfectant, too.

Doesn't look posh enough to be an LA "medical spa." Wonder what they are up to? Banking more sperm? SRS consultation?
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Having Mallory Cannot Write Lavery committed and cogwheeled on Thorazine?
 
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Chef bro Joe rudely playing it close to the vest. :( He vaguebooks about throuple events, but even worse, we only get one picture of his latest culinary exploits:
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Caption:
We had our dear friend Sue over for dinner last night, and I made a few little things. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster week here at Casa Lavery-Woodruff—minor ailments, extremely satisfying professional news, the putting-into-action of longstanding plans, and a poignant little loss. Cooking becomes celebration, mourning, recuperation, peacock, and commemoration. I only got this picture, though, of the first thing I made: a floral springtime broth. It’s half dashi, half rose-infused amazake from Noma (though if it didn’t arrive in time I was planning to use a regular rose petal infusion), with the merest spritz of shoyu, a couple of edible flowers and some blanched ginger matchsticks. It was a very specific flavor and I loved it. Then I made a sort of California-fied vignole, with garlic scapes, lemon thyme, and a dashi broth. otherwise finished in the same way as a regular vignole: lots of green vegetables, mint and parsley, and then a blistered meyer lemon. served over bread. then lastly I made a roast chicken, and a little glaze for it: juice of several meyer lemons, a big lump of yuzu kosho, a smaller one of honey, and then whisked in a little walnut oil over a very gentle heat. these foods were good!
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The three courses:
  1. "A floral springtime broth"
  2. Vignole (vegetable stew)
  3. Roast chicken
It's cool to host an outdoor dinner party out of a microscopic AirBnb shack, but it's idiotic to try to make it a three-course gastronomic extravaganza. Joe isn't able to pull this shit off at home; he can't do it in the shack either. He doesn't understand that haute cuisine makes zero sense if you have to serve it to your guests sloshing around like a puddle of piss at the bottom of a heavy ceramic baking dish.

Vegetable stew and roast chicken sounds normal but you know Joe found a way to turn the fuckery up to 11. I mourn the lack of braggadocious pics from our hero.
 
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We had our dear friend Sue over for dinner last night
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Waaaaaait. My throupledar is malfunctioning. Joe said he'd be in NYC on the 18th - w/Lily and Rocco as it turned out. Those three def went to NYC to perform at NYU a week before the anticipated faggots go cruising performance on the 18th.

On or about the 24th they were in LA urgent care with Mal, and Mal got there on her own and was set to be on a panel at USC this morning, the 27th.

But "we" - Joe and Lily - were back at the shack at least by the 26th poisoning a dinner guest.

Joe and Lily left Mal behind to go to NYC and then left her behind again in LA? Why'd they go to LA at all if not to rendesvous with Mal?

The giddy whirl of celebrity authors. I cannot keep up.

Tried asking one of my grandmothers about a trend in manlets offering her seats and befriending her on transit but the only response was that Komodo dragon side eye I've feared throughout my life.
 
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Diana Moon Glampers said:
"A poignant little loss." We'd have heard about it if one of the dogs died. I'm guessing miscarriage.
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Well, just damn if they're trying to give Bobby Joe a sibling. Lilly is really trying to solidify her role, but she had Bobby Joe late and miscarriages get more common at her age.
 
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Dromedary said:
" fucking Marlon Brando in the ass, Never happened."

I need to correct this. It was Jack Kerouac that Gore Vidal claimed to have fucked in the late 1940s. Not Brando. But I doubt all of it. It's possible, but I don't think Gore fucked Kerouac. Gore was not above making things up, I think. Years and years later.
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The Gore and Jack hook-up is about as verified as any private sexual encounter in the 1950’s could be without photographic evidence.

Kerouac sucked Vidal’s dick. Kerouac was known to fuck anything/anyone and Gore would have been a very attractive proposition given his literary repute and status.

The Brando thing probably is crossed wires because Kerouac was purposely dressing just like Brando’s character in A Streetcar Named Desire back then. Several people have mentioned Kerouac larp’ing Brando’s style because Brando was the ultimate dreamboat to every gay guy in NYC in the 1950’s. (And most women for that matter, Brando was hot af)

Kerouac even wrote about the encounter with Vidal in the Subterraneans. (He apparently came to Vidal’s apartment with Bill Burroughs, thinking a crazy homosexual junkie that had killed his wife would be interesting enough to get Vidal to invite him over, and he was right.)

In the 1990’s Allen Ginsberg was on the record that Kerouac had bragged to him about sucking Vidal’s dick. Vidal had also talked about the encounter for decades, it wasn’t just something he started rambling about in old age when his mind was going.

Vidal was the ultimate brilliant, witty homosexual socialite everyone wanted to fuck or hang out with. He bought a castle in 1970 on a cliff overlooking the Amalfi coast in Southern Italy that everyone wanted to be invited to visit, not just gay guys. (The list of his guests includes Mick Jagger, Paul Newman, Greta Garbo, Warhol, Princess Margret, Bruce Springsteen, etc…)

Vidal just didn’t have to exaggerate or make shit up, his real life was hard to believe. He was a man who could causally mention he discussed Amelia Earhart’s final flight plans with her when he was ten. How? Oh, his dad had a long running affair with her so they chatted regularly. It sounds like it must be BS, but it was true

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Bookwork said:
Waaaaaait. My throupledar is malfunctioning. Joe said he'd be in NYC on the 18th - w/Lily and Rocco as it turned out. Those three def went to NYC to perform at NYU a week before the anticipated faggots go cruising performance on the 18th.
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I’m not sure I believed the “poignant little loss” theories but the week long trip to NYC would make a lot more sense if it’s true. Joe and Lilly did IVF and banked some embryos in NY, probably the ones leftover after sex selection. They returned to NYC so they can stick the frozen leftovers in Lilly, but they failed to stick. (Probably were coming up on the date to use the frozen embryos or pay for long term storage fees for them somewhere offsite)

In LA Lilly starts spotting, so they go to a clinic in LA to verify. They find her hGC levels are tumbling down meaning it did not stick around her womb. They return to SF to throw a dinner party in the tiny shack. A shack so inappropriate for a dinner party Joe had to photograph his soup on a porch hand rail.

If this is what happened it’s more interesting that Tard Baby has been MIA and Joe and Lilly had to take Bobby Joe to NYC. Medical procedures, esp ones involving travel, are one of the major reasons people need family (or a nanny) to care for a baby. So Joe and Lilly wanted to go try for baby #2 and Mallory told them they needed to take baby #1 with them if so. Maybe she’s getting a bit of a spine?

Baby #2 might sound like a great idea to Joe and Lilly since Tard Baby is their full time nanny. Babies are a lot of fun if you can hand them off to someone else whenever you are tired or need to do something else. Mallory might not be as keen since it would seem she does most of the heavy lifting with the baby. Then again, I don’t think Mallory gets to vote on any of these decisions. She just goes along with whatever Lilly and Joe dictate to her.

Ironically Mallory could probably get pregnant naturally if Joe (or a guy with a decent sperm count) had sex with her. I don’t think she’s been on monthly T injections since Lilly moved in. She looks like a Pooner who had a change of heart about testosterone after a few years on a low dose. She hasn’t had any further visible masculinization since 2020. I think many get cold feet once the twink aesthetic fades and they start looking like a small, awkward middle-aged man. Most want to look like pretty teen boys, not men.

Mallory looks like she opted out of monthly T therapy a few years ago. Her skin certainly looks like it’s got plenty of progesterone, and very little testosterone, the last several years.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Mallory had hinted about another baby, wanting one of her own but not being direct about it. Joe preferred to fly to NYC to pay to doctors to insert some frozen embryos in Lilly instead of sleeping with Mallory for free.

I strongly encourage Mallory to just go down to a sperm bank and buy some African American sperm to checkmate Joe and Lilly. Mallory can write stories about why a transman knew it was vital to create a racial diverse family in Trump’s Amerikkka. Joe and Lilly will be forced to help her raise D’Andre along side their boring white baby, or appear like elitist racists. Also they’d get plenty of ink as a tranny polycule raising interracial babies. So many woke boxes checked the editors won’t be able to say no.
 
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ApeBass said:
I think this is very optimistic considering she's 37/38? and has poisoned herself with testosterone over a prolonged period. Eggs don't repair themselves; reversing poor egg quality is impossible.
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I think she’s younger than Lilly. I know it varies widely but plenty of women 40 and under have no problem getting pregnant naturally. I think the issue would lie with Joe’s sperm.

Unfortunately testosterone doesn’t seem to be a killshot to Pooner fertility based on the number who decide to stop it and then get pregnant, but these do tend to be a younger demographic than Mallory. (I’m basing this entirely on “Transman pregnancy” and then all the former pooners who realized they made a terrible mistake, stop T and end up starting a family with a man.)

I suppose we will get a lot more information on that in coming years, but they really have no idea about its effects on fertility atm. It is known that long term T useage will cause damage to female genitalia but I’m not sure Mallory was on it long enough to feel the gender euphoria of vaginal atrophy.
 
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Mal's 38.
bd.webp
I would thrill to Mal and Lil in a brutal battle to see who can get a sped bun in the oven - with both succeeding and sharing the shack toilet for morning sickness as Joe debates decamping for Bermuda vs Toronto with a Berkeley undergrad. Call me a dreamer, but I believe fully in the potential of Stupidity.
 
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MirnaMinkoff said:
I know it varies widely but plenty of women 40 and under have no problem getting pregnant naturally. I think the issue would lie with Joe’s sperm.
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It's easier for older women who have been pregnant before and haven't fucked up their uterus and ovarian reserves with testosterone use.
Do we know how long she has been on testosterone or are we guessing based on her physical appearance? If she did decide to stop testosterone as a result of unpleasant physical side-effects, the damage is probably already done.
Sperm are generated daily and are entirely replaced roughly every couple of months. Joe can stop the hormones, do some exercise(!), take some supplements for a few months and his fertility has a good chance of recovery.
 
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