The Sumo Thread - HAKKEYOI!!!

[Officer Barbrady]

They ARE fat, but there's a lot of muscle under there as well. That's the important distinction to me. The "just fat" guys rarely make it very far. Was Ichinojo the latest one?

Not necessarily as fat, but Hokuseiho is a good shout in that he didn't seem to have as much muscle as others in the division and (like Ichinojo) fully relied on that height and build to get wins.

 

[Tamashoho's Abused Towel]

[Hokuseiho]

He was a joke and I'm kinda baffled that he made it all the way to Makuuchi on just "be tall and lean forward". The absolute state of sumo after Hakuho's departure.

But yes, he doesn't look very toned.

 

[Cougar Pump]

Chiyomaru was my favorite 'classic fat guy' in the Dohyo, but Aoiyama is definitely the most deserving of the Robert Paulson award.

Kotozakura's so flabby he's got tits on tits, and always looks like he's less interested in the fight and more interested in hitting the chanko.
Then again, his record speaks for itself. You don't get to that level without serious skill and strength.

 

[Lapis Lazuli Blue]

Kotozakura's so flabby he's got tits on tits, and always looks like he's less interested in the fight and more interested in hitting the chanko.
Then again, his record speaks for itself. You don't get to that level without serious skill and strength.

He has that Ethan Ralph build for sure! There is a always a little voice in my head saying "suffar bish" whenever he throws someone out. But he has always looked like that even as a little kid so some genetics in there as well I guess.

 

[Officer Barbrady]

Some updates to the rankings came out recently:

• Kirishima returns to Sekiwake rank
• Takayasu returns to Komusubi for the first time since last January
• Wakatakakage returns to the Komusubi rank after dropping to M1 for March
• Roga and Tamashoho return to the top division after being demoted to Juryo for March
• Kusano, who stormed through Juryo in March with a 14-1 record, will remain in Juryo in rank J1 after a big ranking jump from J14 (the last tournament being his Juryo debut)
• Mitakeumi, after finishing March with a 6-9 record at rank M17, drops to Juryo at rank J1. It'll end a run of 10 years in the top division for the former Ozeki.

 

[Officer Barbrady]

Not long until the May basho begins on May 11th - any predictions?

 

[Tamashoho's Abused Towel]

any predictions?

-Onosato will follow his pattern of yusho into hangover and end on 10-5 at best
-OR he'll win outright with no playoff
-Hoshoryu completes the basho and at least contends for the yusho
-Takayasu does well but not well enough to contend for the yusho again
-Kotozakura continues his weird mediocre streak
-Ura is Ura
-Hiradoumi got that dog in him but gets crumpled up by joi schedule
-Daieisho will NEVER be ozeki
-Aonishiki will do well
-My man Tamashoho is not a Makuuchi rikishi, he'll get trashed

 

[Polska krowa]

Onosato has looked strong against WMH and Takayasu... I think I'm backing him to not only win this tournament, but also to get the rope as a result of it.

Surely the Yokozuna Deliberation Council would have to promote him if a winning record and a win were enough for Hoshoryu?

 

[Tamashoho's Abused Towel]

Oh yeah, for sure. Two tournaments wins in a row as Ozeki is a no-brainer. If he did a 13-2 runner up against an Ozeki or against Hoshoryu I'm sure they still would. God knows he's looking a lot stronger than Hoshoryu ever did.

 

[Polska krowa]

Oh yeah, for sure. Two tournaments wins in a row as Ozeki is a no-brainer. If he did a 13-2 runner up against an Ozeki or against Hoshoryu I'm sure they still would. God knows he's looking a lot stronger than Hoshoryu ever did.

It would've been interesting to have seen how Hoshoryu's promotion would've played out if Terunofuji hadn't retired the week before. I know he obviously had the requisite record, but maybe the YDC might've delayed the decision a little longer. It definitely creates a situation for me wherein Onosato HAS to be promoted if he goes 12-3.

Interestingly, this is his 13th tournament (note that he started as makushita tsukedashi, not all the way at the bottom); per my research, he would be the fastest yokozuna promotion in the modern era, and fastest overall since Azumafuji (Yokozuna #40), who was promoted in the 1949 Haru Basho after 12 tournaments.

 

[Fishmalk Observer]

I'll always have a soft spot for mitakeumi since he won the first basho i ever watched, but he's been a fucking disgrace for years now.I think he should let it go rather than fumble in the lower ranks

 

[Polska krowa]

In other retarded and typically Japanese news, the JSA have established new rules w/r/t stable youtube channels last month. Key takeaways from the article (in Japanese):

1. No personal information can be given out (social media or other means of contact), unless it's for the purpose of recruiting rikishi. Fair enough, I guess
2. No excessive eating, exaggerated noises, or pranks on camera
3. No collaboration between stables to make content
4. No videos to be released during tournaments
5. No tipping or membership functions

Breaches will lead to termination of stables' social media platforms. This seems an incredibly retarded move. Sumo has been gaining a lot of traction in the last year or so, both domestically in Japan, and, more importantly, internationally, in large part due to Futagoyama beya's, and other heya's youtube channels. Stifling this, because rikishi eat a lot of food on camera (as we'd fucking expect for a sumo wrestler), is ridiculous. I'd understand if the ruling was requesting that stables give more time in their content to training, learning about the rikishi, or the sport and its tradition, but it feels like the JSA are on some kind of a power trip, and attempting to stifle the growth of the sport.

Let's not find ways to prevent the recurrent injuries that lead to a huge amount of talented rikishi retiring before reaching their potential, let's not look at lowering the dohyo to prevent unnecessary injuries from falls, let's not look into the link between wrestling and CTE, let's not address rampant bullying at stables... let's address the real issue here... Nabatame eating on camera, being entertaining, and getting people who otherwise wouldn't watch sumo interested in the sport!

 

[Lapis Lazuli Blue]

Hard agree on lowering the dohyo. How many promising rikishi have fallen from it and destroyed their knees and careers for life. I'm guessing this retarded decision was made by the elders out of jealousy of Futagoyama and other stables doing well and PREMOTING THE SPORT. The thinking being "my stable doesn't have a big following online so you don't get to either!" I don't know the inner workings of the JSA but from what little I hear its nepotistic AF.

 

[Polska krowa]

Hard agree on lowering the dohyo. How many promising rikishi have fallen from it and destroyed their knees and careers for life. I'm guessing this retarded decision was made by the elders out of jealousy of Futagoyama and other stables doing well and PREMOTING THE SPORT. The thinking being "my stable doesn't have a big following online so you don't get to either!" I don't know the inner workings of the JSA but from what little I hear its nepotistic AF.

I can only assume the JSA are pissed that they aren't getting a cut of the Youtube revenue, and are shutting it down out of spite. I don't see how the channels could be anything but a boon for the sport... one look at r/sumo will confirm as much, given the recent influx of users who support Roga and Nabatame. I think prize money for bouts has been gradually increasing basho-on-basho, which also highlights the growing domestic popularity.

It also surely allows for stables to invest in new equipment and specialists to help improve rikishi conditioning, physicality, and technique, which can only be a good thing.

 

[Tamashoho's Abused Towel]

I feel like going off the dohyo is rarely what causes the serious injuries, but I also haven't seen that many injuries. Tochinoshin blasted his knee just lifting someone, Wakatakakage hit the tawara with his knee, and from reading Gaijin Yokozuna by Mark Panek (good read, but it doesn't give me a good impression of Hawaiians) it sounds like Akebono hit the tawara the same way.

JSAs new rules are fucking stupid, just deliberately hampering any potential growth for no reason.

 

[Polska krowa]

I feel like going off the dohyo is rarely what causes the serious injuries, but I also haven't seen that many injuries. Tochinoshin blasted his knee just lifting someone, Wakatakakage hit the tawara with his knee, and from reading Gaijin Yokozuna by Mark Panek (good read, but it doesn't give me a good impression of Hawaiians) it sounds like Akebono hit the tawara the same way.

JSAs new rules are fucking stupid, just deliberately hampering any potential growth for no reason.

I appreciate that wrestlers don't regularly injure themselves as the result of a single fall, but one can only assume that falling off the dohyo at their size will no doubt put a lot of strain on their body, and may well aggravate existing injuries, or result in small injuries, that stack up over time... in particular I'm thinking about their knees. It's more just an example of something that can be avoided, but they choose not to change, as that's how it's always been.

There was a really gnarly injury last year from a fall off the dohyo in the makuuchi division. I'm blanking on who it was, and I believe they'd already fucked their knee up in the process of being pushed out of the dohyo, but the subsequent fall was also really bad.

Edit: It was Hokutofuji against Hoshoryu in the 2024 hatsu basho. Found it on Jason's channel (tachiai @4:45):

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

. This seems an incredibly retarded move. Sumo has been gaining a lot of traction in the last year or so, both domestically in Japan, and, more importantly, internationally

This our Japan . Typical nipponese bullshit.

let's not look into the link between wrestling and CTE

This isn't going to happen in the next 50 years. I doubt any of the old farts who make the Sumo rules would even believe in CTE. They would call it a western invention or something and continue to not give a shit.

 

[Polska krowa]

This our Japan . Typical nipponese bullshit.


This isn't going to happen in the next 50 years. I doubt any of the old farts who make the Sumo rules would even believe in CTE. They would call it a western invention or something and continue to not give a shit.

I know John Gunning, one of the English-language sumo commentators for NHK has previously suggested that rikishi should start from a standing position, instead of with both hands touching the ground, as was previously the case, to stop head clashes during the tachiai.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

I know John Gunning, one of the English-language sumo commentators for NHK has previously suggested that rikishi should start from a standing position, instead of with both hands touching the ground, as was previously the case, to stop head clashes during the tachiai.

This might be a good idea but this is never ever ever going to happen because this would go against Sumo tradition, religion, rituals etc. The old bastards who rule over sumo wrestling would say "LMAO NO, stupid western man! Sumo wrestlers bashing their heads in makes the spirits happy!" or some shit.

Hell, Hibikiryu had to die before these people had the brilliant idea of providing slightly better medical care to sumo wrestlers. His death resulted only in a few changes. You can have the best ideas but the old rule makers will just shake their heads.

 

[pinstripe]

Onosato getting the next 15-0 tournament? if not this one maybe within the year.