DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

Where is DSP?

  • He is in Connecticut visiting family/funeral

    Votes: 213 47.9%
  • He and Khet are on a honeymoon style trip

    Votes: 12 2.7%
  • He has an issue (s) with the HOA requiring immediate fixes

    Votes: 27 6.1%
  • Comcast/ISP/Internet Issues

    Votes: 16 3.6%
  • He is taking a Kino Casino style break by not announcing when he comes back

    Votes: 30 6.7%
  • Phil and/or Khet Health Issue

    Votes: 48 10.8%
  • This is a social experiment from DSP

    Votes: 99 22.2%

  • Total voters
    445
  • Poll closed .
Phil telling people he was going to clean up and “okay, you guys, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO DONATE!”
Ngl that’s one of the weirdest stalling ive seen him do
It harkens back to the vest streak days when the streak was in jeopardy. He would refuse to leave, make up any excuse to do every banal thing on stream to add more time to the stream, make the post-stream slideshow run 3 times longer than usual hoping for a whale to show up etc. and then when a whale would show up he would put on the vest for a minute gloating about how the trolls have lost and then clock gout with the quickness of a union worker when it's a minute before the work day is done.
 
On this day, 9 years ago, a man was caught red-handed with his pants down. My favourite part is the dastardly snort he gave after saying "hello". As if he was preparing for the typical abuse. The same mistreatment that his audience became used to. Though it wasn't to be. His momentum was stopped in its fucking tracks as he was forced to acknowledge 1. That the camera was on and 2. The camera had been on the whole time. Second only to revealing his fat, retarded wife this was truly the Guy's most embarassing moment. And he never recovered. And anytime he tries to be taken seriously, anytime he tries to be tough, anytime he gets me mad, I just remember that Phil Burnell, accidentally filmed himself masturbating.

Happy Burstiversary. Happy Burstiversary to all.
 
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Wearing a shirt that's too small and then claiming they messed up the design so you can't button it is exceptional even for Phil.
The actual quote is "Theay mismanufactured the shirt" And I am not making this up

And Happy May 1st burst. Or perhaps trickle? Can he even shoot at this point?
 
ALL that just so he could "luckily" win at every part people have had a hard time on. Because Philip here is a GOD gamer with crazy gamer intuition. He just can't remember plot points or pokemon weaknesses that anyone normally playin videogames should know.
That's why he only gets filtered by common mechanics in games, things that guides don't cover cause they're obvious, parts where you need to be creative and rng stuff.

The way he played Zelda TOTK is the best illustration of that.



Happy may burst everyone ! May the camera stay off the whole time when you're streaming.
 
Just saw the crash out over the sleeve comment. Jesus Christ, his self esteem is non existent. Guy in Kick chat makes an innocuous comment about his sleeves and how it looks goofy (which it does - it's kind of like wearing a t-shirt that's longer than your sweatshirt and having it stick out at the waist) and Philbert lashes out to the point where his voice is cracking and he is visibly upset. Then he goes on to say that ackshually it's a bamboo shirt and it's moisture-wicking.
He couldn't just brush off or ignore the comment, like a mentally stable person, but instead tries to convince the audience that the guy who made the comment is a moron and how this is basically the best shirt that has ever been made. And he bought said shirt, which basically makes him a genius.

Miserable. Miserable little man.
 
The way he played Zelda TOTK is the best illustration of that.
Oh man there were so many things about that playthrough which are totally insane. The eval thread jimi did was so good and points out that in Phil's wild dash to finish the game he barely explored the world and avoided all combat. Then bitched and moaned his weapons weren't good enough and upgrading was grindy. Best playthrough for Phil fucking himself over badly all by himself in that game in a long time
 
The actual quote is "Theay mismanufactured the shirt" And I am not making this up

And Happy May 1st burst. Or perhaps trickle? Can he even shoot at this point?


So if we take it at face value, the clothing company would somehow have made a shirt where the sides are so narrow you can't button them up and where the sleeves are too short to cover a normal t-shirt. Which in his gin-addled mind is a far more likely outcome than it just being too small for him.
 
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Big ups burst bros. 👍
 
Imagine if you owned a sandwich shop and removed menu items the instant they didn't meet some arbitrary goal.

anyways, happy burst bros. a moment of silence for all the kick chatters that will inevitably get banned by the man himself on this busy day off.
Sadly, he’s not streaming today. The shame got to him
 
So if we take it at face value, the clothing company would somehow have made a shirt where the sides are so narrow you can't button them up and where the sleeves are too short to cover a normal t-shirt. Which in his gin-addled mind is a far more likely outcome than it just being too small for him.
I mean it could be a productivion defective but why in the holy hell did he not go back and demand a good one? That should be possible right? Or would that be insulting to hi mo..wife?
 
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I do legit think it takes him about an hour to make thumbnails and start to upload prestream + gameplay because his processes are that bad. It should take him about 5 minutes using AI to make all the thumbnails he could ever need but now that his "team of editors" are gone he actually sits there and makes each one of them and spends time thinking of a robust video title.

His workflow is worse then you can imagine I bet if Mike Clum actually made the doc he would've been fucking flabbergasted that DSP makes any money at all with how bad he is at it.
 
That's why he only gets filtered by common mechanics in games, things that guides don't cover cause they're obvious, parts where you need to be creative and rng stuff.

The way he played Zelda TOTK is the best illustration of that.
Man I miss This Is How You Dont Acts so much, one of my favorite phil bits. When this massive retard who struggles with basic pattern recognition, walks into a hard puzzle or end game boss fights and magically aces it in 2 tries.

"Hmm guys, i dont know... what if i try this very specific chain of actions for no reason... OMG THAT WORKED?! tuhuhuhuh! I had no idea, omg it worked! People said this is hard?!?!"
 
If he keeps things up like this he will eventually kill his own channel. As much as he hates us, he needs detractors because without us there's nothing special about him and his dents have nothing to rally against when they drop their entire SSI check on him in a weekend. But his recent content has become 50% unabashed begging and panhandling and 50% near silence playing games he absolutely hates while eye fucking his chat for what he should be doing to progress or tips, which is boring as hell for everyone and is eventually gonna lead to people losing interest in him.

He thinks he wants that, but he doesn't. Without the victim narrative he'll shrivel up and vanish way faster.
 
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