DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Big Brown Schlub]

So, what does everyone think? Is he going to visit his parents? Is he really retarded enough to only take two days off to fly across the country, visit his parents and and then fly back?

Given he's posted that pahsitive article about himself from 13 fucking years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if the reason for his 2 days ahff is the most pathetic and lame reason - fucking nothing. Namely, he's so rattled by the things that have happened to him recently (Kino snakening) that he can't even cope with having to deal with May Burst jokes on his stream, so instead he spent the entire day nursing a gin bottle, seething about detractors making May Burst jokes, while also reminiscing about his glory days.

That being said, it is what? A 6-8 hour flight? He can get in a lot of coping and seething and doomscrolling and reminiscing and gin drinking in that time. I think we'll definitely know whether he visited his parents or whether it was him merely avoiding May Burst jokes when he makes his grand return on Saturday. He used to be able to shut up and ignore things just a year ago but like I mentioned earlier his mind is so completely rattled rn that he won't be able to shut up and at least leave some bread crumbs about what he's been doing.

 

[PieceofShet]

I think he will call in sick when he supposed to come back.
In the past he did that at least one time (that i can recall): he took a few days off and when he supposed to stream again, he called in sick.

 

[Lady Adjani]

I don't see a scenario where he actually goes out of state on a prolonged trip to visit his dying mother and not mention it or use it as an excuse to try and milk some easy donations.

This would be the biggest event of the past ~10 years of his pathetic life, no chance in hell he keeps quiet about it.

 

[arrivefriday]

I don't see a scenario where he actually goes out of state on a prolonged trip to visit his dying mother and not mention it or use it as an excuse to try and milk some easy donations.

This would be the biggest event of the past ~10 years of his pathetic life, no chance in hell he keeps quiet about it.

I think the reason he doesn't do this is because it would prove that he actually was honest with PPP, which would be so much worse than just lying about it all.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

So, what does everyone think? Is he going to visit his parents? Is he really retarded enough to only take two days off to fly across the country, visit his parents and and then fly back?

Odds were always that Phil is never leaving the Snort Fort unless his parents fully pay for him to go back to CT, and the wedding was the last time they're doing that.

 

[The GOUT-HATERS Handbook]

Odds were always that Phil is never leaving the Snort Fort unless his parents fully pay for him to go back to CT, and the wedding was the last time they're doing that.

If Linda is about to croak like he said, I can see Dave or Linda being desperate enough to pay for him. I mean, they literally begged him to visit CT.
Don't forget he was begging his ass off recently, so there's that too.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

any high school valedictorians with business degrees here able to explain the rationale behind taking fridays off now? And what will be the short term financial impact of missing jax raxxor's weekly tithe?

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

any high school valedictorians with business degrees here able to explain the rationale behind taking fridays off now? And what will be the short term financial impact of missing jax raxxor's weekly tithe?

and make sure you put it in sandwich shop terms. its the only way i can understand business stuff

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

and make sure you put it in sandwich shop terms. its the only way i can understand business stuff

So imagine if you owned a sandwich shop, and this one customer came in for years and bought a massive meal. But now all he does it occasionally come in and buy a can of Coke. Would you put you and your family's health at risk by cancelling your hard-earned day off opening just for them?

 

[Son of Big Boss]

Linda: Phil, your father and I have called you here to tell you about a decision we made.
Phil: Huh? *Snort*
Dave: *hands a piece of paper* We decided to leave our will to your sister.
Phil: What? This is bullshit, she's not even your real daughter!
Linda: Oh really? You never visited us in years, and you are only here today because we paid the flight and told you that i'm dying.
Dave: Meanwhile she visited us often and has been more of a daughter than you ever have been a son!
Phil: Oh come on, i needed that money, i really did, to pay my bills and taxes!
Linda: Phil... Stop lying, we know about WWE Champions.
Phil: Woooooooooow whaat are you guys talking about? *sweats*
Dave: Someone called Joon showed us a video detailing all you have been doing this past decade. We are horrified and you won't get anything else from us, ever. You are no longer part of the family.
Phil: Goddamnit i did everything correct, and i would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those mentally ill detractors!
Linda: Let's be real, even if you had gotten an inheritance, it would have been burned on Hogan JPGs in a few weeks.

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

Of course, he edited the tweet to fix the link. As well as make it even more about himself. Credit to ThatBeingSaid.

View attachment 7306556

I guess he was really busy on his day off.

And as expected, the replies weren't having it.

View attachment 7306563

I love the idea of DSP deleting tweets and remaking them until he finally gets more likes than replies

 

[Balr0g]

Don't forget he was begging his ass off recently, so there's that too.

Well there is also tax season. I mean you think he actually put some of the Kc money away for his taxes?

 

[Soylent Dora]

Not to derail, but I don't know if it's really sinking in just how bad Phil's begging is. He's always begged, no doubt. But he is begging on another level. I can't remember what the genre name is but there is genre of streamers that just sit there and ask for/wait for money and its not OF thots. Phil is basically that type of streamer now. Rambling below if you care:

Phil's streams are exclusively about bringing in money with gaming as a background to him getting money. Even the "podcast" is asking for money 5-10 times an hour. And its not just any amount of money. He isn't happy with anything less than the goal and even then he's constantly upping the anti. Look at the out of no where beg for 10 goals in three days. $1500 in three days inorganically would be comical if it wasn't Phil. While I can't stand PPP (I like to call him Triple P, I don't know why) and Tarski, they broke Phil's facade of muh humble blue collar streamer. I genuinely think Phil thinks he's not begging too. "Ask and you shall receive" and all that, he's asking for money while shitting on you for not giving him money "C'mon guys we need to hit the goal" "So were not getting any more support? Really?". Wild

Second point - I recently watched some livestreams from WolfheartFPS. Decent BG3 videos but nothing special, dry and conveys the patch info. Listen I like the guy but he's not a good live streamer. He's boring, dry and doesn't have great commentary. Despite this, he still gets money coming in and 300-1000 concurrent viewers. The question - If Phil actually stopped begging and just played the game without being an asshole constantly and stopped raging, could he do okay? If someone like Wolf who is boring (honestly insert most streamers) I think Phil would do fine. Detractors would die off, his core fanbase would still be there. He's also got a history that he reminds everyone of constantly. As gay as that is, people love rediscovering old channels they watched back in the day. The swing buy and donate viewers could actually be a thing if they didn't tune in and hear "Now guise, lets hit the goal RIGHT NOW before the podcast ends so we don't have to worry about it anymore"

 

[GibMoneyPls]

I don't see a scenario where he actually goes out of state on a prolonged trip to visit his dying mother and not mention it or use it as an excuse to try and milk some easy donations.

This would be the biggest event of the past ~10 years of his pathetic life, no chance in hell he keeps quiet about it.

All true. But I think his fear of trolls showing up outside of a mature style gated community is terrifying to him. Normal people like delivery drivers and cashiers scare him to death.

Totally off topic, but i love that Phil has added "positive reinforcement" to his streaming vocabulary. Ive noticed him saying it a few times recently. He just straight up tells his fans that he's training them like Pavlov's dog, to give him their cash. Right over their heads

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Give me a brief rundown of the "dents." What's all this about Phil milking disabled people for SSI money?

 

[Vic Viper T301]

So imagine if you owned a sandwich shop, and this one customer came in for years and bought a massive meal. But now all he does it occasionally come in and buy a can of Coke. Would you put you and your family's health at risk by cancelling your hard-earned day off opening just for them?

To be fair, the sandwich shop owner stopped running a special on that customer's usual order every Friday like he used to, and when he does have the special on he will make constant snide remakes about the meat distributor's unfair practices and threaten to never make that kind of sandwich again.

 

[MayTheBurstbeWithYou]

I blame PPP for DSP's new "business structure"

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

I love the idea of DSP deleting tweets and remaking them until he finally gets more likes than replies

But the replies won’t let him forget.

 

[FormerPro]

Give me a brief rundown of the "dents." What's all this about Phil milking disabled people for SSI money?

Phil has three main streams of revenue.

• Larpers: People who donate/superchat to troll or fish for content. Most of the time it's obvious but occasionally produces some funny stuff. While it's normally only a dollar or 2 doing it every stream every week probably adds up and it's been proven time and time again Phil's best content is when he is receiving no money at all.

• Dents: Unironic DSP fans who enjoy his content and/or believe him when he says stuff like him and his wife can't afford to eat. Over the years many of these have been doxxed and to a man they are severely autistic/ retarded. By far the least offensive group that give Phil money.

• TurboDent Deep Cover Larpers: Massively attention starved individuals with no friends which are mix of the above two groups. These people donate the majority of Phil's money every stream to meet the goals under the guise of owning the trolls. After a few months of this they'll come on to the farms or go in a detractor chat to let everyone know it's been a big Machiavellian scheme all along and really they are an illuminati level puppet master that has given thousands of dollars to 40 year old man to eat door dash in service of a deeper plan. When they're met with disdain and scorn rather than the rapturous applause they envisioned they go running back to Phil, cap in hand with a hefty apology donation and the cycle resets.

 

[A Piece of Coal]

He’s not going back to Connecticut unless it’s to sign a check. Remember, at the end of the day he cares about no one besides himself. It has only gotten worse with time, too.

He just assumes he’ll deserve that money when David and Linda leave the goutsphere of this planet. He will be salty AS FUCK if this isn’t the case.

Kill yourself, Phil.