Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[isalaide]

Kind of a two-in-one question:
How much should a guy be over his ex before re-entering the dating pool?
Like, obviously should be over her in terms of not having any feelings or wants for her, but should it be at a point where the ex doesn't elicit any emotion at all or?
Asking because while I was/am over the relationship as a whole, finding out she cheated for between 8-12 months not too long ago just filled me with anger I've never felt before.

Second question & related to this:
How do you specifically deal with anger of being cheated on?
I ask this here because the guys I've spoken to have such a different way of thinking etc that their advice doesn't really work for me.

I figured getting another perspective would help, because at the moment it's unbearable, I have to keep occupied and distracted otherwise my mind goes over all the stuff she's said and done while knowing full well there was another guy.
And there's a lot there, months upon months upon months of daily interactions, things big and small, so acknowledging the anger and everything just keeps me angry 24/7 with no end in sight.

In terms of things you can do right now, might I suggest Chumplady.com

No, not just for married people, not just for women by a long stretch. Very good and thoughtful advice in a community of other people who've been betrayed in committed relationships.

It's okay to be angry. It's necessary to be angry; you've got to burn through that anger before you can heal. But let it burn; don't keep it alive by feeding it. I think reading some Chumplady would be a helpful place to start for you.

Also, I'm sorry. It's a shitty thing to do to somebody, and no, it shouldn't be excused. Someone should break up before they get with someone else. The length of time involved here is also awful. Was this an LDR; when you are eventually ready for another relationship, it's okay to decide you don't want to try LDR again.

 

[Banditotron]

Remember that women are people, and I mean that brutally. I'm not just being progressive or whatever. I mean when writing scenes between people, think about what the characters are feeling in their body.
Is she dehydrated? Hungry? Tired? All these things change how everyone acts, but I notice sometimes when people struggle writing women it's sometimes because they're (unintentionally) putting women into the category of "Thing to be acted upon".
You don't even need to bring it up in the story, just be aware of it when writing. You don't need to have her say "Oh I'm sorry Mr. Protagonist. I didn't get much sleep last night." it's enough to mentally go "Ok, at this point in the story Mr. Protagonist is heading out to his job, but Ms. Love-Interest was up last night with a sick dog who kept puking on her floor. Mr. Protagonist doesn't need to know that, but I should write her lines as a little more tired/fatigued as a result."

The secret to writing women is to write a man but with lower muscle and bone density, and generally less prone to impulsive behavior. Bam. That's it. Just remember the ways in which our species is sexually dimorphic and you can write women. Any other changes in behavior can basically be extrapolated from physiological and anatomical differences. I think the biggest issue people have with writing characters of the sex they aren't part of is treating the character they are writing like a person.

 

[Coldsteel the Hedgehog]

View attachment 7308423
What length of pompador is too much pompador?

No such thing. The height of the pomp is like the antlers on a deer, the larger it is the more it impresses and intimidates.

 

[josef]

Every time I go into a discord server and find a hot girl, I confess my love for her 3 seconds after meeting her. That's how long it takes me to fall in love with women I just met. But when I hit their dms and try to use my rizz on them, they outright reject me and tell me to kill myself and disappear from their lives completely.

The last girl I sent a voice message of my voice to killed hierself, immediately after hearing my voice. I don't understand why females are such evil bastarts. What did I do to be treated like this? Was it something I said???? Nothing I do works on women.

Spoiler: I DMed this to the last girl I was talking with on discord, and she threaten to call law enforcement on me

I want to swab the bacteria off your roastie and grow cultures of your vaginal flora in an uv lamp. Lemme clone your coochie and attach the newly grown skin on a fleshlight, effectively reproducing your pussy.
(In fact, I did this once and my grandmother got sick since the chemicals formed in the air resulted in her developing skin cancer on the uttermost part of her bread crust-like labia majora and consequently losing part of her labiaplasty due to lack of hygiene.)

I hate my life. Out of all the females I have interacted with online and irl, only my grandmother found me attractive and dated me. My luck with women or lack thereof, is depressing and only pushes me to ending my own life. I don't understand why females are such evil bastards! What did I do to deserve this? I love females and would do anything to be with at least one of them, I don't even care if their trans; however, they keep rejecting me and calling me mean names. I don't think I can take this pain any longer; hence I have considered committing suicide as a last resort.

If you need a suicide partner, I am here for you. I want to scissor with you for days on end until our clitori have disintegrated and become mere dust flowing through the air; until our prolapsed colons have slipped out from our assholes and intertwined and bound together for eternity. Our tangled colons will keep us together; united as one even after we have died and become nothing but bones dispersed through the sea. We can rub our clits together and have them intertwine, the friction will unravel our dead flesh, creating a seal mark in our coochies never to be reversed.

 

[ThePozzedOutCritic]

@josef
You should tell the next woman you meet that you wear adult diapers and then shit yourself loudly.
THEN and only THEN will she date you.

 

[Zhores Medvedev]

Question for the ladies here. Have you ever had a man do the weird pick-up artist shit on you in person? I have a friend that's recently gone down that rabbit hole and its getting really grating. He is reading all of the books (48 laws of power and The art of seduction shit like that) and vehemently insists on me reading them. He very loudly tells our friends about all the ladies he seeing on tinder ever since he "mastered seducing". Now the majority of us (his friends) are all in fairly long term relationships and think that all the shit he spews is generally retarded, but I was wondering what your experience is with this type of man out in the wild was.

Edit: grammar, I am dumb

 

[Señora Airi]

I got several questions:

1. How do I work through insecurities in a relationship (previous two ended with one cheating on me, one going to her new man before breaking up).

2. Where can a man in his late 20s meet a single woman (church is either underaged women or women already taken).

3. Being an introvert, how can I work on talking to a potential date?

4. When should you ask a woman to be your gf (I've asked this question to a few former friends who were girls whom I had feelings for, and that caused all but one of the friendships to end).

5. What would be some budget friendly date ideas? I'm trying to get out of debt I stupidly put myself into.

 

[rosecig]

I got several questions:

1. How do I work through insecurities in a relationship (previous two ended with one cheating on me, one going to her new man before breaking up).

2. Where can a man in his late 20s meet a single woman (church is either underaged women or women already taken).

3. Being an introvert, how can I work on talking to a potential date?

4. When should you ask a woman to be your gf (I've asked this question to a few former friends who were girls whom I had feelings for, and that caused all but one of the friendships to end).

5. What would be some budget friendly date ideas? I'm trying to get out of debt I stupidly put myself into.

1. It's easier said than done but you just can't allow yourself to lament on the possibilities. Make yourself as busy as possible and you won't have the time to wonder why she didn't call you back or whatever.
2. What are your hobbies? Maybe a dancing class.
3. Practice approaching women at a bar/club or some other activity, keep doing it and getting rejected will feel less and less hurtful and you'll have a better time at approaching the next time.
4. If you're still just friends and there isn't anything moving beyond that I wouldn't like to be asked to be a girlfriend right away. At minimum, ask if she'll have dinner with you/whatever activity she would like, and after that then discuss your feelings and ask. It shows a bit more effort and is less of a jump from friend straight to girlfriend. Plus, I think "would you like to have dinner sometime" is a little less awkward to reject than "would you be my girlfriend?"
5. Try to make the first date nice in my opinion, then you can make it a bit more casual. See if anywhere nearby has a lunch special or go to coffee shops/bakery/parks nearby. Maybe get into tennis, badminton, or something of that sort you can play outside.

 

[Señora Airi]

Thank you kindly

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

If I have daydreams about having sex with women and feel immense disgust but keep having intrusive thoughts about her does it mean I'm homosexual or does it not count unless you sleep with women in real life?

Please I don't want to be homosexual

 

[Thé au lait]

If I have daydreams about having sex with women and feel immense disgust but keep having intrusive thoughts about her does it mean I'm homosexual or does it not count unless you sleep with women in real life?

Please I don't want to be homosexual

Is the disgust from guilt or because the thought of the act itself is viscerally unpleasant? You might just have feelings for her if it's the former, or just intrusive thoughts if it's the latter

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

Is the disgust from guilt or because the thought of the act itself is viscerally unpleasant?

Disgust at myself for having these thoughts. I feel like irl if a woman touch me like that there won't be enough soap and water in this world to make me feel less ashamed of myself

 

[Thé au lait]

Disgust at myself for having these thoughts. I feel like irl if a woman touch me like that there won't be enough soap and water in this world to make me feel less ashamed of myself

That would make you bisexual then. That's a pretty common reaction, it takes a few years to get past it.

Having those feelings doesn't reflect on who you are as a person. It's your actions that distinguish you, not your intrusive thoughts.

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

Disgust at myself for having these thoughts. I feel like irl if a woman touch me like that there won't be enough soap and water in this world to make me feel less ashamed of myself

Sorry to break it to you, but you are now officially a homo. Here, take this Queen:

 

[ThePozzedOutCritic]

If I have daydreams about having sex with women and feel immense disgust but keep having intrusive thoughts about her does it mean I'm homosexual or does it not count unless you sleep with women in real life?

Please I don't want to be homosexual

If it's any consolation lesbians are usually not as bad as gays.

 

[FinnSven]

If I have daydreams about having sex with women and feel immense disgust but keep having intrusive thoughts about her does it mean I'm homosexual or does it not count unless you sleep with women in real life?

Please I don't want to be homosexual

It could just be a phase.

Don't PL your age or anything, though you shouldn't be on this site, strictly speaking, if you are under 18. (Or whatever Null has decided is the age one is still a minor.)

If you are a young person, then people do go through periods in life where their sexuality is confusing.
Especially when a person is in a situation which they are separated from the opposite sex, either because of immediate authority (School, Prison, military service) or circumstance, (happen to live in an area where there are not so many people of your specific type so you end up having different feelings).

Don't stress yourself about this and see how things develop internally over the next few months.

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

If you are a young person, then people do go through periods in life where their sexuality is confusing.

I'm in my twenties...

It could just be a phase.

I lose all self respect when an attractive woman show interest in me, but then when she stop giving me the time of her day I cease to be homosexual until the next one come along and it repeat again. I'm not like this when it's with men but with women I become desperate very quickly

 

[FinnSven]

I'm in my twenties...

I lose all self respect when an attractive woman show interest in me, but then when she stop giving me the time of her day I cease to be homosexual until the next one come along and it repeat again. I'm not like this when it's with men but with women I become desperate very quickly

Well I expect to be dogpiled for this, but if you are really unhappy with these feelings then maybe seeking some professional therapy could be helpful?

A gossip forum dedicated to laughing at the misadventures of various internet personalities is not the "safest space" to make public some complicated and sensitive personal turmoil.

Anecdotally, a lot of people still are confused about their sexuality well into their twenties.

Many gay people don't come out or really realize they are until their 30s, even in this hyper tolerant day and age.

What I am saying is that your sexuality isn't necessarily "fixed" or rigid at this point, so I refer to my earlier advice of seeking professional help.

You might have to shop around for a therapist or even actively seek out some old school Freudian or Jungian as there are a lot of reports of current therapists actively encouraging transition at the first mention of any kind of discomfort with sex and sexuality.

I hope that you manage to do what you need to feel comfortable and happy with yourself.

Don't Troon or Poon out though. That will just make things worse!

 

[thyme]

I'm in my twenties...

I lose all self respect when an attractive woman show interest in me, but then when she stop giving me the time of her day I cease to be homosexual until the next one come along and it repeat again. I'm not like this when it's with men but with women I become desperate very quickly

Sounds like you are unintentionally putting these women on pedestals, in part because youve expressed you hate your own womanhood before.
Maybe there is a part of you desperate for acknowledgement from a beautiful woman, to feel accepted as a woman
but I dont know you I am just speculating shit here

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

Sounds like you are unintentionally putting these women on pedestals, in part because youve expressed you hate your own womanhood before.

Yeah I put attractive women that give me her attention in a pedestal and then I agonize over it. I just wanted her to like me and talk to me and I go full retard over it. It happen multiple times already and I usually think I'm getting too homo and back out from the relationship. Nothing fuels the urge to go and work out harder and get more disciplined than when I think of attractive women who have no reason to talk to me or give me attention at all. I attract fitness obsessed women and I feel like I have no value outside of my appearance and if I don't get bigger they would be disappointed in me and leave.
I feel like I genuinely lost IQ points when I'm like that.

to feel accepted as a woman

I just feel like they hate me but I understand I often act like a total retard. Women that like me is an exception especially if she's attractive

Well I expect to be dogpiled for this, but if you are really unhappy with these feelings then maybe seeking some professional therapy could be helpful?

It will go away eventually.