idk maybe youre also looking for meaning on a deeper level
Are you into men?
I'm only into men sexually. I'm not into women sexually.
I'm going to stop thinking about it
Because we're stupid silly
I'm not homosexual and how am I going to have sex with women there's no dick
Fingors and tongu-eh
I know this sounds generic and this advice applies in more situations than just this but you genuinely can not run away from yourself. Trying to deny your emotions is not going to make them go away, the best way to handle this is just to sit down and let yourself feel whatever you're feeling and honestly consider why you feel this way.
But having weird feefees makes the head hurt. Surely she can just drink alcohol and get hooked on SSRI's like everybody else, right? That's way easier so it must be better for you. (lmao, rofl, lol)
Lol you're bisexual haha. I promise it's not that bad. I'm serious, though. Doesn't matter whether or not you act on it or if you like it or not, if your heart has gone aflutter for men and women at different points. You're attracted to both sexes, and generally people call that "bisexual".
Having different dynamics of infatuation with the two sexes isn't too weird. Men and women look different, act different, so they're attractive in different ways, I think. Also, the way you have to approach relationships with either sex is different.
First off if you're not already then please talk to someone about body dysmorphia or anxiety. I had this exact problem when I was younger and it led me to do some very unhealthy things that have caused lasting medical issues.
You're not going to like me saying this but you have a lot of self hatred and it seems like it's spilling over into how you view others, including the NLOG behavior. It's common but it can get miserable to be around. I genuinely think it might help to visit a counselor (potentially a trauma counselor?) to address this and help you work through it. You can't keep beating yourself up like this, it's not fair to yourself and it's hurting you indirectly by isolating you.
As much as this sucks to hear, it doesn't go away until you confront it. You need to understand why you feel this way and either address the root cause or accept this fact about yourself.
I mean that's probably exactly why @Thé au lait is advising her to seek therapy. Unhealthy feelings about one's own immutable qualities are the sort of things that end up leading people to trooning out.
I'm too transphobic to poon out. I don't believe one can change gender.
I'm schizophrenic and for some reason unbeknownst to me when I am having an episode I can't look at women because I have the feeling they're disfigured. My hatred for myself and XX chromosome might be a schizophrenic thing it become unbearably strong when I have an episode and goes away when I'm not and I write lots of schizoposts about it that doesn't make sense to me when I read it back
I live a life where it's work, study, work out, either being on kf or playing vidya, and sleep. I think it's why it get to me so much, it's a major part of my life. I go to practice knowing with my entire heart it might as well be dancing for how useless I am. But I still go. I don't want a different existence, I want to be better at what I already do
I'm banking on killing myself. If I'm not what I want to be anymore I don't want to exist at all. If I get too old to continue I'm checking out. I can't stand to watch myself grow old and become forever separated from what I dream of.
Have you considered the possibility that "what you think you want to be" is not any of the following:
Yeah I think I'm going about this the retarded way where my goals isn't bad but I'm retarded about achieving it
