Jerry Peet / Lily Orchard / Lily Peet / Valkyrstudios / Bhaalspawn / Tara Callie / "Mod Ebara" - Sociopath writer of pedophile fanfiction and cartoon reviews, faked getting raped to force a divorce, then mobbed and gaslit their ex off Tumblr, satanist neoliberal of the MovieSlob variety, also wants to fuck dogs and/or pokemon

[Frank Greene32]

She is never going to shake off the "comparing everything to Kingdom Hearts" jokes, is she?

Nope, truly she has the most limited of media references despite being… well a “media critic”

But this does give me a semi excuse to post one of the few bones tumblr has thrown my way. Cause it has another Lily fav

https://www.tumblr.com/yoboyymyen/783013360868425728/didnt-you-sexually-assault-your-own-sister

 

[ShiftyBoi]

Nope, truly she has the most limited of media references despite being… well a “media critic”

But this does give me a semi excuse to post one of the few bones tumblr has thrown my way. Cause it has another Lily fav
View attachment 7340280

https://www.tumblr.com/yoboyymyen/783013360868425728/didnt-you-sexually-assault-your-own-sister

You gave her avatar more curves than it deserves. For shame sir.

 

[Bears Repeating]

An editing stream has leapt out of the bushes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MretzQeh1qQ

Uneventful editing stream, punctuated by the occasional Vegas crash. Hope you enjoyed Lily's last video on Nom Nom Nami, because this is shaping up to be... the exact same video, but longer.

At the end she goes over an idea she first brought up on Bluesky the day prior:

Idea for a movie: 17th century woman gets seduced by a vampire into his castle, realizes at the last second she's just walked into a nest of vampires and escapes into a secret passage. The rest of the movie is her stalking and killing them in increasingly creative ways.

Time will tell if it becomes the new Lorch Fixation of choice, but in this instant she sounds really enamored with the concept.

Clipped only so you can all experience Lily attempting a "Vampire accent" (her words, not mine), insisting this would be a slasher film (and getting mad at people comparing it to other films such as Ready or Not), and patting herself on the back over an... Arbor day joke? In the 17th century? Well, maybe if the heroine is Spanish...

 

[Ultraman Orb Dark]

Clipped only so you can all experience Lily attempting a "Vampire accent" (her words, not mine), insisting this would be a slasher film (and getting mad at people comparing it to other films such as Ready or Not), and patting herself on the back over an... Arbor day joke? In the 17th century? Well, maybe if the heroine is Spanish...

Okay, five problems with this.

1. "Vampire Accent". Does Lily just... not know what Romania is?
2. The accent sounds more Russian than Romanian.
3. Her insisting this be a slasher flick really shows why her "heroes" aren't well-written. In slasher flicks, you don't usually root for the killer, because the killer is THE BAD GUY. Then again, considering how bloodthirsty Darth Amarosa was...
4. Once again, Lily demeans and belittles her audience for not reading her mind and fails to understand why they would want to come up with their own ideas. Even on Bluesky, when someone suggested this could be a video game, she didn't get why this idea could be anything but a slasher movie.

5. Her idea isn't even that unique. You wanna know why? There was a rather obscure show in the 90s with a similar premise of a female vampire hunter. I'd forgive you for not having heard of it.

 

[SomeDudeInA6PointedStan]

Clipped only so you can all experience Lily attempting a "Vampire accent" (her words, not mine), insisting this would be a slasher film (and getting mad at people comparing it to other films such as Ready or Not), and patting herself on the back over an... Arbor day joke? In the 17th century? Well, maybe if the heroine is Spanish...

1. "Vampire Accent". Does Lily just... not know what Romania is?
2. The accent sounds more Russian than Romanian.

Not be pedantic but in the original Dracula novel by Bram Stoker its noted that Dracula can speak perfect British English with little if any hint of a eastern European accent and does so on a regular basis and also by and large wears modern dress and uses modern customs for the time. This actually makes perfect sense as a vampire should have near infinite time to learn anything especially how to blend in as best as possible. The "vampire accent" trope largely comes from the 1931 adaptation where Bela Lugosi uses his native Hungarian accent in his portrayal of Dracula (Who in the novel is specifically said to be of Szekely, a group related to the magyars, descent. Which is also in contrast to the historical Vlad Dracula who is recorded to have been a typical Romanian Vlach nobleman.).

 

[ÁchtunaRoll]

2. The accent sounds more Russian than Romanian

It sounds nothing like Russian.

One of our beloved guest, Sheev is Romanian. That's what it's meant to sound like.

 

[AMHOLIO]

.Vampire Accent". Does Lily just... not know what Romania is

Even on Bluesky, when someone suggested this could be a video game, she didn't get why this idea could be anything but a slasher movie.

Lily's brain has been slowly leaking out of her ears after years and years of raging at others and and frying her brain to Islamic MLP and incest porn. This is the end product. That or Lily is stubborn and refuses to think someone else could know anything more than her once she decided she knows something about the topic. Also possible.

Lily's power fantasy of being a woman who is stabbing other women deservedly in fancy 17th century clothing is oddly specific. I wonder who Lily took the ideas and mashed them together from? It's also disturbing the way Lily describes it since, well, Lily loves revenge porn.

 

[Ultraman Orb Dark]

It sounds nothing like Russian.
View attachment 7342474
One of our beloved guest, Sheev is Romanian. That's what it's meant to sound like.

Sorry, used to hearing Russian accents like that. My bad.

Lily's power fantasy of being a woman who is stabbing other women deservedly in fancy 17th century clothing is oddly specific

Maybe Lily wants to be like Elizabeth Bathory?

 

[Frank Greene32]

Clipped only so you can all experience Lily attempting a "Vampire accent" (her words, not mine), insisting this would be a slasher film (and getting mad at people comparing it to other films such as Ready or Not), and patting herself on the back over an... Arbor day joke?

To me the joke sounds more like a Rick and Morty bit (wouldn’t be surprised if she ripped it off from the show)

Again for someone who claims that Horror is an “excuse” for writers to write whatever bad things they want to do (that’s you Lily) Lily’s really trying to show off she isn’t limited to one of five things… Yet still shows that she can only do one of five things. Surprised there isn’t a sister or some lesbian shenanigans (yet).

“Girl escapes vampires and kills them off in creative ways”. It’ll never not be funny how her audience has more expose to other media and Lily has to course correct them cause “no it’s a slasher! You’re not getting it!”

 

[Son Goku Baku]

Her insisting this be a slasher flick really shows why her "heroes" aren't well-written. In slasher flicks, you don't usually root for the killer, because the killer is THE BAD GUY. Then again, considering how bloodthirsty Darth Amarosa was...

It's not weird to have in horror a protagonist that kills people and is both meant to be cheered on by the audience and is the good guy overall. Companion is a recent movie in which a robot ends up causing a bunch of friends getting killed and the point is for you, the audience, to cheer him on rising against the humans trying to use her/eliminate her. "Rape revenge" is an entire subgenere based entirely on a woman sadistically eliminated the people who hurt her, usually in incredibly gorey ways. Literally every "vampire hunter" movie ever is the exact same: some protagonist going around killing the bad guys, sometimes in absurd ways because it's supposed to be ridiculous.

You could even argue that a lot of slasher are revenge stories in which, although not justifiable, the killer is shown as a victim. Candyman was a victim of the racism of his time, Jason was neglected by the adults that were supposed to take care of him, Freddie was burned alive, Jigsaw was failed by a system setting him up to die, etc, etc. That is what makes them slightly more compelling characters rather than one dimensional non entities.

All of this to say, Liliana's idea is nothing new or original. But slashers specifically are about the victims rising up in order to face the monsters that come to destroy their life. If she wants to write or force Mikaila to draw about some lesbian woman killing vampires on some castle in "increasingly creative ways" (which in Liliana's case probably means "they slipped on a banana peel on the stairs and broke their neck, Family Guy Style"), with the assumption for the viewers to root for that woman, that is not an slasher anymore. It's just horror.

Now... if any of those vampires would meet this protagonist who is eliminating their friends and family, and try to take them down as a result, now that would be a more original take and could be an actual slasher. The issue is that this would require to make her self insert into the bad guy or put into question that she can just inflict violence on whoever she wants, God forbid.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

"Rape revenge" is an entire subgenere based entirely on a woman sadistically eliminated the people who hurt her, usually in incredibly gorey ways. Literally every "vampire hunter" movie ever is the exact same: some protagonist going around killing the bad guys, sometimes in absurd ways because it's supposed to be ridiculous.

I very much agree with these points and was even about to say that it sounds like what Lily wants to write is probably something more along the lines of a monster hunter action flick or potentially a revenge flick depending on what route he wanted to go with it. Either one is totally fine.

IMO, my argument for why it isn't a slasher is more about the power difference. While I'm sure there are exceptions to the rules, what typically makes a slasher movie is one or more powerful characters hunting down and gruesomely murdering another group of characters who are relatively powerless compared to the slasher(s). Even when the characters are able to get an edge on the slasher, it still tends to show the slasher being more powerful. A character might stumble on a gun and use it against the villain, which slows the villain down and buys them enough time to escape, but the audience knows said villain is only delayed. It adds to the tension and that feeling of helplessness.

I suppose it depends on the lore and stuff, but it's hard to imagine a nest of vampires being powerless victims, which is why I'd lean more towards like, action-thriller. I don't think there's really any horror elements in the original pitch, since it seems like what I presume is a 17th century incest supporter is able to evade a castle full of vampires and, despite not having home field advantage, run about the castle and setup deathtraps to eliminate the vampires. And now that I'm typing it out...I'd say it's more of like, a Most Dangerous Game ripoff.

Which, again, is totally fine. I feel like I've even seen something that was similar, minus being in the 17th century, and it was decent. Not memorable enough where I could tell you the name off the top of my head, but also not awful enough where the title is burned into my brain. But yeah, very much not a slasher flick and arguably not even a horror flick based on the initial pitch. I'm actually mildly curious to see if Lily runs with it, just because I want to see how long it takes for Lily to run out of creative traps to kill vampires. I'd also bet good money the premise goes from rando person gets lured in by vampires to someone's sister gets kidnapped by vampires, so the older system has to step in to save them.

 

[FanFicFreak]

5. Her idea isn't even that unique. You wanna know why? There was a rather obscure show in the 90s with a similar premise of a female vampire hunter. I'd forgive you for not having heard of it.

I wanted to say the exact same thing; this plot sounds like something I have already watched one boring afternoon, and just fucking forgot about it.

The "vampire accent" trope largely comes from the 1931 adaptation where Bela Lugosi uses his native Hungarian accent in his portrayal of Dracula (Who in the novel is specifically said to be of Szekely, a group related to the magyars, descent. Which is also in contrast to the historical Vlad Dracula who is recorded to have been a typical Romanian Vlach nobleman.).

Béla actually had (I think) a rather nice, absolutely not hard accent when I came to speaking English - I wouldn't say he has a strong American accent, but from interviews I saw, I think It would be hard point out his origin. As the character, I think you can catch some of that classic, but soft Hungarian accent when he says "You must be Hungarian" -> hungérian. But it is honestly, it hella soft and compered to a more hard, and present accents. If you look at this fucking idot speaking English, (no political reason for choosing this clip, it is just a good example for a thick Hungarian accent) his accent is really prominent, but lacks that "harsh" or more "speaking out of your nose" sound of how Lily speaks.
I think what Lily calls the "vampire accent" is just that classic, red-scare times, "USSR/Slavic/Every-Easter European spy" accent from old Hollywood movies.

 

[Duine In Cudromach]

You could even argue that a lot of slasher are revenge stories in which, although not justifiable, the killer is shown as a victim. Candyman was a victim of the racism of his time, Jason was neglected by the adults that were supposed to take care of him, Freddie was burned alive, Jigsaw was failed by a system setting him up to die, etc, etc. That is what makes them slightly more compelling characters rather than one dimensional non entities.

No... slasher movies are a pretty specific genre. The thing that defines a slasher movie is the unfairness of it; not just in the power imbalance between the heroes and villain, but in the situation. Slasher movies are about regular people in the wrong place at the wrong time getting caught up in a fight they cannot win and don't deserve to be in and trying to survive. You're usually there because the monster is cool, but your actual sympathies lie with the victims.

If that fight is told from the killer's perspective, and it's a justified one, then it's no longer a slasher movie, it's a revenge thriller.

To boil it down to its absolute fundamentals, the difference is in agency. A slasher movie is about the heroes being powerless in a situation they didn't ask for; a revenge thriller is about the hero HAVING the power and fulfilling the revenge fantasy.

My mind goes to something like The Abominable Dr. Phibes (portrayed by the late, great Vincent Price), a gothic horror revenge thriller about the eponymous Dr. Phibes getting revenge on a coalition of scientists who tried to arrange his death by subjecting them to the Ten Plagues of Egypt. By that setup it should be a slasher movie, but because they've earned their punishment and we're watching it from Phibes' perspective, each kill is a catharsis. (Also these are fun movies. It's Vincent Price in his element, campy as all hell, just a great time.)

Lily's movie COULD be a slasher movie (and probably a black comedy) if it were framed from the vampires' perspective. If we met the family, got to know them as people, and had reason to be afraid when they begin getting picked off. If the opening was the vampire patriarch maybe finding this woman shivering and cold on the road and he brings her into the house out of the goodness of his heart, but then she disappears and one of his fellows is found dead and they realize they've just released a vampire hunter into their home.

Like, it's not a terrible idea on the face of it, but Lily clearly doesn't know what a slasher movie is outside of the absolute broadest aesthetic of 'something kills lots of people'.




Also not really related but if you want a fun twist on the 'slasher movie told from the monster's perspective' I highly recommend Tucker and Dale vs. Evil.

 

[ÁchtunaRoll]

#Weird trend in Japanese media #See also: Mega Man


#Roll is heavily implied to have feelings for Rock when they are as close to siblings as robots can get


#Then they reimagined the series as Legends and made the possibility of romance between them more overt and mutual


#But also wrote in that this version of Mega Man was found as a baby by Roll's grampa who raised her after her parents disappeared


#So they don't directly admit it in the text but they're adoptive/step-siblings


#(Although they also gave MegaMan an alternative love interest in Tron whose relationship with him is more interesting anyway. But I digress


#It wasn't until the next reimagining (Battle Network) that they had a Mega/Roll pair completely free of incest


#Also allegedly the novelization of Final Fantasy Il has the main hero adopted by the main heroine's family in addition to making them-#-love interests.


NOOOOO! NOT MY JUMP-AND-SHOOT SIBLINGS!

Mikay is having a go at Megaman. I know at least one person in the discords who will have something to say.

Anything for incest talk. Lily’s been keeping a low profile posting wise. Good. The less outta her mouth the better it is for everyone.

I’ll say that and she’ll go on a posting spree about something, mark my words.

 

[A Watchful Ghost]

The problem is not that. The problem is the fact you're trying to change Kyrie into something she is not. At that point, she is a OC instead of her original character. She'll never be a demon hunter, and that's okay because her role is good as support.

 

[teriyakiburns]

I highly recommend Tucker and Dale vs. Evil.

I was trying to find a way to work this one in, but now I don't have to.

"Well howdy do, officer! We've had a doozy of a day!"

 

[Stuck Pooh]

At the end she goes over an idea she first brought up on Bluesky the day prior:

Look at how proud she is for having her first original story idea in her life!

My question is why vampires specificaly? There is only a certain amount of things that can kill vampires, so I don't know how the protagonist can get increasingly creative in going about it. How many creative ways are there to ram a stake trough a vampires heart, or expose them to sunlight?

 

[Turtles McDougal]

View attachment 7344829

"It's complicated."
"Ah, see? Incest!"
Next, she'll tell me that Dante and Trish are incestuous.

 

[Ultraman Orb Dark]

“Girl escapes vampires and kills them off in creative ways”. It’ll never not be funny how her audience has more expose to other media and Lily has to course correct them cause “no it’s a slasher! You’re not getting it!”

She's like that kid who gets upset when you don't play games her way.

I think what Lily calls the "vampire accent" is just that classic, red-scare times, "USSR/Slavic/Every-Easter European spy" accent from old Hollywood movies.

Good way to confirm this is to ask her to pronounce the words "Moose and Squirrel".

If that fight is told from the killer's perspective, and it's a justified one, then it's no longer a slasher movie, it's a revenge thriller.

Lily's movie COULD be a slasher movie (and probably a black comedy) if it were framed from the vampires' perspective. If we met the family, got to know them as people, and had reason to be afraid when they begin getting picked off. If the opening was the vampire patriarch maybe finding this woman shivering and cold on the road and he brings her into the house out of the goodness of his heart, but then she disappears and one of his fellows is found dead and they realize they've just released a vampire hunter into their home.

Like, it' snot a terrible idea on the face of it, but Lily clearly doesn't know what a slasher movie is outside of the absolute broadest aesthetic of 'something kills lots of people'.

So by her logic, Kill Bill and John Wick are slasher movies.

Look at how proud she is for having her first original story idea in her life!

My question is why vampires specificaly? There is only a certain amount of things that can kill vampires, so I don't know how the protagonist can get increasingly creative in going about it. How many creative ways are there to ram a stake trough a vampires heart, or expose them to sunlight?

Either she thinks she's subverting expectations by turning the hunters into the hunted, or she just read Carmilla and has a thing for vampires now.

 

[daniel day]

At least Mik is also a man. Best case scenario Jerry tries to start with the DV and gets the everloving shit beat out of him when his fellow troon wife finally snaps.

it really is a double pitbull situation isn't it? They're both wannabe lesbians, who have a really high DV rate, and they're both men, who are far more likely to seriously physically abuse their partners in comparison to woman, and they're both fucking nuts. It's just a matter of whos prey drive switches on first.