so nick said he hasnt seen april since march at an intersection and the melton retard said nick told him it was january. is that just whippet holes or lying... im guessing both.
Reminder: not only did Nick fail to keep his own story straight with that January/March discrepancy, he also contradicted himself a
third time with another version of the story happening
in late April according to
his last Coomalot appearance. Adding that we now have four total iterations of this story of which at least three contradict one another and the fourth even might.
To recap in chronological order of the incident's purported occurrence, for comparison:
1. The
January version that Nick told to Moody sometime before 5/11/25:
Based on what Nick told me - he hasn't spoken to her in months. The last time he came close to that was in January where he saw her car at a traffic light and her boyfriend flipped him off.
[Timestamp 29:33]
2. The
March version that Nick told to his audience on 5/12/25:
The last time I saw April was at an intersection in town. I'm trying to think when that was, it was in March sometime. And yeah, she was with her boyfriend, and he flipped me off, which, okay, like I guess. I didn't do anything to him, I'll come snuggling. What a weirdo. But then it apparently made me sad, which is true, which is true. I don't know, is that a bad thing, I guess? I'm not sure. That guy's kind of terrified of me. I don't know why, it's not like I have a history of stealing April away from people.
[Timestamp 2:05:42]
3. The
pre-4/19/25 version that made its way to
@elb sometime before the dox on that date:
For what it’s worth, I was told about it before the April dox
Nooo sorry, I was told about April’s boyfriend flipping him off. Maybe I misunderstood your post my bad
@elb : don't answer if any added detail would burn a source, but would there be any way to safely clarify A) a rough timeframe for when the stop light incident itself was said to occurred, or B) a rough timeframe for when the story was told, which could at least establish a latest possible time for the incident that would have predated the telling of the story about it, or C) at least whether the version you heard would corroborate or contradict the January version, the March version, or the April version below?
4. The
late-April version that Nick told to Camelot on 4/21/25:
Also, the previous superchat had asked a question that I didn't answer. I'd forgotten they asked. They asked if April was safe and secure. I hope so. I have not spoken with April since January.
I saw her the other day at a stop light, but I haven't spoken with her or seen her since January, other than just seeing her randomly at a stop light, so I don't know. I'm not in her life. She's not in my life, anymore, at all, so I hope so. She was really cool, a great friend, but life goes on.
[Timestamp 1:16:57]
Memory lost to Nick's brain holes and/or something lost in translation during the game of telephone going through Moody could
maybe explain two versions contradicting one another, but now with at least
three proven contradictions and the possibility of a fourth, giving him the benefit of the doubt is getting silly.
Granted, maybe the next cope could be that this is just another of those "technically true" Nickisms where normal people understand "the other day" to mean in the last 2-3 days or up to a week ago at most, but he still gets to backtrack to "I never said
that" by making up his own idiosyncratic definition nobody else in the world ever heard of where "the other day" really just means "some day other than the present day," which
technically could reach as far back as the big bang or as far forward as the heat death of the universe. This just devolves into more Janus word games no different from how his not huffing nitrous "
presently" "never said" that he didn't huff nitrous 5 minutes ago, or how any given vehicle being
presently "in storage" "never said" that he wasn't driving it down the road 5 minutes ago. Why even bother engaging with such lunacy as opposed to the Occam's razor explanation that he lies like he breathes?
Corroboration or it didn't happen. You'd think it shouldn't be too hard to figure out some male names recently associated with that address and see if their social media or their associates' social media show any relevant photos or at least relevant changes to relationship status that could somehow make the timeline make sense. Barring that there's no way to ever know short of April doing one final interview with any of a dozen streamers that would happily jump on that exclusive and maybe even pay for it, but instead the long-suspected NDA or some other unknown pressure made sure she had to leave the Internet the same way she left the stepkids she claimed to love: without even saying goodbye.
That said, the very reason why this would have been the
perfect limited hangout for Nick to make up is the same reason why I still
want it to be true and I
hope that credible independent corroboration comes about, namely that it is undoubtedly
much funnier than the alternative:
