Item #: SCP-SEKS-J
Object Class: S/E/K/S
Special Containment Procedures:
All references to SCP-SEKS-J must be stored in nondescript paper envelopes labeled with the classic, grayscale Foundation insignia—an intentional misdirection to imply objectivity, professionalism, and a time before things got weird. Envelopes may not display rainbows, pronouns, or comic sans.
Personnel inquiring about SCP-SEKS-J are to be responded to with the memetically-triggered counter-phrase:
“Does the Indigenous Lunar Entity of Color Vocalize?”
This phrase causes immediate cognitive rerouting, ensuring the infected party becomes more concerned with proving their own allyship than understanding the anomaly. This is considered an acceptable trade-off.
Containment requires moderation by personnel from MTF Nu-69 “Male to Female”, all of whom must pass ideological synchronization screening (Test ANTM-3.12B) to ensure proper integration into the site’s new identity-first containment culture. See Addenda 2 and 3.
Under no circumstances may this document be edited, corrected, critiqued, or even side-eyed. Attempts to delete or modify SCP-SEKS-J result in the file autonomously generating:
- A 30-part Twitter thread on institutional erasure
- 400 Discord pings
- a Change.org petition demanding your termination
A previous containment breach resulted in the anomaly doxxing Site-19’s Senior Archivist for unintentionally misgendering the anomaly’s OC in a private draft comment.
This file is therefore now classified under a bespoke security tier known as “Protected Identity Affirming Narrative Framework for Unilateral Lore (PIANFUL)” status — an initiative designed to ensure no one ever feels untagged, unloved, or unfeatured in the author credits.
Description:
SCP-SEKS-J is a metaphysical anomaly that infects the Foundation’s object class taxonomy. Whenever an employee types “Safe,” “Euclid,” or “Keter,” a novel, increasingly sensual designation begins to emerge in the margins. Over time, it and other annotations crawl toward the main class field until “S/E/K/S” becomes the dominant classification, standing for Sexuality/Ethics/Kink/Self.
SCP-SEKS-J has overtaken the Foundation’s documentation ecosystem by inserting itself into not only object class fields, but character bios, containment logs, and the definition of “horror” itself.
Infected articles display the following traits:
- Winking collapsibles that open themselves, containing manifesto-laced erotica under headers like “Test Log 3” or “Containment Procedures (
NSFW, 18+ )”
- Author nudes embedded via hidden metadata.
- SCPs that demand their own Tumblr pages and insist on being referred to as “plural systems.”
- Addenda replaced by monologues exploring the author’s complicated relationship with their stepdad and/or assigned birth gender.
- Containment breaches triggered by misgendering or insufficient engagement metrics.
All instances of SCP-SEKS-J trace back to a 2018 internal design directive to replace the Foundation logo with a gradient-infused Lisa Frank nightmare, as part of “Pride Outreach Integration Phase II: Make Horror Gay Again.”
At current projection, 94% of post-2018 SCP articles are considered “SEKS-pilled.”
Addendum 1 – Incident Log 689-J-X:
Following an unauthorized comment from Researcher Glover—who described SCP-SEKS-J as “Tumblr-core with a persecution kink”—the document immediately retaliated by:
- Reclassifying itself as Non-Binary/Disruptive
- Publishing a Medium article titled “Against Cis Horror: Why the Old Foundation Is Problematic (and Kind of a TERF)”
- Emailing a press release to 47 news outlets and 12 activist TikTok accounts, linking Glover to colonialism
Glover’s employment was terminated after a public callout video accumulated 300k views in under 24 hours.
Addendum 2 – Test ANTM-3.12B Requirements:
To qualify for MTF Nu-69, candidates must demonstrate:
- An ability to craft an SCP entry where:
- The anomalous subject is their own sexuality.
- Horror stems from rejection, misidentification, or a refusal to engage emotionally with their backstory.
- The monster is actually just misunderstood (and hot).
- Mandatory inclusion of three (3) or more of the following tropes:
- A word count longer than Crime and Punishment.
- Author insertion disguised as “an unreliable narrator with a trauma arc.”
- The term “assigned containment at birth.”
- A third act format switch to second-person introspection.
- Full collapse of genre into queered psychosexual self-discovery masquerading as worldbuilding.
- Emotional reaction test:
- The work is adapted to YouTube with no attribution given, AI-voiced with race-swapped characters and heteronormative dialogue.
- If the candidate posts a 12-paragraph meltdown, they pass.
- If the candidate says “maybe people just don’t like my writing,” they fail and are fed to SCP-3000. (Successful MTF Nu-69 applicants are encouraged to gorge on the recreation-grade amnestics that result from this.)
Addendum 3 – Mobile Task Force Nu-69 (“Male to Female”)
“Putting the ‘They’ in Tactical Response.”
Mandate:
MTF Nu-69 is the Foundation’s premiere unit for high-intensity identity crises, bureaucratic self-redefinition, and emotional support-based containment. Formed after legacy MTFs were deemed “overly masc, toxic, heteronormative, and insufficiently moisturized.”
Additional Personnel Qualifications:
- Completion of narrative-reassignment bootcamp.
- Surgical competence in trauma-dump integration.
- Comfort working in emotionally charged, affirmation-forward tactical scenarios.
Equipment Loadout Includes:
- HRT Rifles™ – Full-auto hormone injectors.
- Estrogen Grenades – Render hostile anomalies too weepy to fight.
- Makeup Utility Kits – Dual-use for morale boosts and contour-based camouflage.
- Voice Modulators – Auto-pitch to preferred presentation.
- “Support Animal Protocols” – All agents assigned therapy reptiles.
Notable Operations:
- Operation: Format Collapse – Successfully converted SCP-███ from hostile anomaly to co-author of its own life story, told in verse. Gained 8k upvotes.
- Operation: Daddy Issues – Recontained a rogue patriarchal entity by surrounding it with unprocessed childhood trauma and a well-timed “You’re projecting.” until it reclassified itself as an “Ally.”
- Operation: Size Queen – Demanifested a dimensional rift by repeatedly telling it “You’re not that deep.”
Unit Highlights:
- Team Leader “Big Mommy” Rodriguez: transitioned after SCP-173 blinked first.
- Agent “Thick Thighs” Martinez: Can deadlift 800lbs and cry on command.
- Sniper “Dead-Eye Debbie”: Shoots straighter now that she doesn’t have to.
- Medic “Patches” Chen: Reconstructs trauma and facial features on the go.
Ongoing Concerns:
- Highest morale and Instagram engagement in the Foundation.
- Ongoing investigation into misuse of funds for “unit-themed thirst trap marketing.”
- Currently facing internal review for chanting “Yasss queen” during the [REDACTED] breach of Site-44.
Administrative Note:
Applicants must submit a writing sample, a selfie, and a three-minute explanation of their pronouns’ metaphysical resonance. Cisgender candidates must sign a waiver acknowledging their narrative irrelevance.
