Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Doctor of Autism]

This is the most stroked out shit I read from him in awhile

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Jack Tweet: Biden's lies, Epstein not suicide, JFK was killed by own government. How could you not believe in Jesus? You believe everything else.

Verse 1 Peter 3:15 says you should always be prepared to give the reason for the hope in your heart.

The best he can do is invoke the magic-bullet theory?

 

[Tiresome]

Now THAT is fucking funny. "Conspiracy theories are everywhere guys, so why not believe in Magic Man?" I think Fatty was trying to make what he THOUGHT was a point but now unintentionally completely revealed his lack of any real faith?

 

[Marc]

Jack has no “faith” - only excuses to eat and act rotten. He lives and breathes for the sake of nothing else and, if there’s a hell, he’s going. Jack’s life is basically the backstory of some pig demon in a Clive Barker novella.

 

[Sexy Peach Emoji]

Jack has no “faith” - only excuses to eat and act rotten. He lives and breathes for the sake of nothing else and, if there’s a hell, he’s going. Jack’s life is basically the backstory of some pig demon in a Clive Barker novella.

So you're saying that Jack's next life will be as Patrick Tomlinson?

 

[Pootayne]

"Quite a dish, what do you call it?"
"The Aristocrats!"

 

[Adamska]

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When you cook with sugars native to things like oranges and wine, you should expect burning if you're just blasting them with heat. You should especially do so if you've been allegedly cooking for 20 years.

It's actually impressive how Jack makes it look like he's rolling these giant balls of beef into human shit and dirt.

 

[AltisticRight]

Zero effort 1:35 video to tell us that a $6.49 chinesium item doesn't work (and you need to pressure cook your hardboiled eggs):

egg splitter

Who the fuck needs this? Ever heard of a cutting board, a kitchen top, a bowl, LITERALLY ANY HARD SURFACE??????????????
He... he used a fucking pressure cooker to cook hard boiled eggs? Why not just grill it on top of an active volcano where a drone holds the egg above lava?
Sure, tomorrow I will hard boil my eggs in hydrochloric acid. You know, the acid will dissolve the calcium carbonate shell. You don't even have to peel it! The shell just goes away!
If I post 10x more, this means I have been fired from my job. If I stop posting, that means I've been arrested for killing an entire lab of people with poisonous eggs.

I can't think of a dumber more useless plastic fucking gadget reviewed by a more useless human being.
He included an image of this useless plastic waste yet he didn't even use it properly. His IQ points will not register on a GC-MS.

Spot the top tier username.

 

[densedance]

Who the fuck needs this? Ever heard of a cutting board, a kitchen top, a bowl, LITERALLY ANY HARD SURFACE??????????????

It's the same fat fucking retard that needs 10 different Grill devices.
It's the same fat fucking retard that needs 10 different Knife-Sets.
It's the same fat fucking retard that needs 10 different Pots & Pan-Sets

 

[the khat quaffer]

Such a smart boy!!

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For his next trick, the Great Scalfanicus will predict that some of us ...SMOKE.

Spot the top tier username.
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The same fags commenting the same faggy shit on every single one of fagass Jack's fagass videos causing him to occasionally throw caution to the wind and lock down comments or post less often.

I'm ambivalent on the matter; OTOH, sometimes (emphasis) they're funny and echo what everyone thinks about Jacko's videos, while OTOH they're just nipping for attention from Jack that they'll never get. At least Rob is funny/slick and does things with his life Re: cooking.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Verse 1 Peter 3:15 says you should always be prepared to give the reason for the hope in your heart.

The best he can do is invoke the magic-bullet theory?

Jack has no “faith” - only excuses to eat and act rotten. He lives and breathes for the sake of nothing else and, if there’s a hell, he’s going. Jack’s life is basically the backstory of some pig demon in a Clive Barker novella.

It's so dumb like I don't know if he's saying "Hey bad things happened so why not believe in Jesus" which is dumb since the number 1 atheist argument is that god doesn't exist because bad stuff happens

Or

"you believe in Biden's lies, Epstein being murdered, and JFK killed by the government, but don't believe in Jesus" which is funny cause two of those were conspiracies he believed months ago until the government said they didn't happen which Jack believes

Either way, Jack is a stroke brained retard who is the type of guy to turn people away from religion

 

[Daddy Strokum]

https://youtu.be/XC2sM--K8jI?si=11Wb2DAtCGoMLAoJ

New Letters From Jack where he says he converted the glowies who showed up at his door into fans.

 

[Pig Cups]

This is one of the most disgusting photos he's posted so far.

I like how any photos he takes of ingredients in (presumably) his pressure cooker make it look like he’s aiming a camera downward into a septic tank, or some kind of shallow, dry well. It’s such a weird perspective- the light walls resemble a concrete drainage culvert.

Zero effort 1:35 video to tell us that a $6.49 chinesium item doesn't work (and you need to pressure cook your hardboiled eggs):

egg splitter

I don’t doubt that this product is cheap junk that doesn’t work at all…

…But, because Jack is a Grade-A fuckup, there’s that little inkling in the back of my mind where I can’t help but think that maybe it actually does work, and Jack (yet again) didn’t use it correctly.

The next stroke he has could do him in completely and he's down to just a shell of a man who's tongue is the only part that still works.

Oh god, the imagery this provokes…

Imagine Jack completely paralyzed, mute, and near-comatose, yet his tongue behaves in a restless, semi-sentient fashion? It forces his mouth open and behaves like a caged animal trying to escape, convulsing and twitching every which way. Kind of like the tendrils that emerged from Norris’s chest in The Thing (1982).


Or (while still paralyzed/mute), maybe his tongue would behave like the dying, inside-out baboon from Seth Brundle’s failed experiment in The Fly (1986)? Writhing and shrieking as the last vestiges of life and energy desperately cling to Jack’s mortal form.

 

[topshrek]

More video game rambling

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HARD WORKER

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So true he had to post it twice

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More terrible advice

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Jack is the type of christian that breeds more atheists

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How does Jack even play video games with only one functioning arm and 1/4 of a functioning brain? Does he just sit in the cuck chair and watch Jack Jr. call goombas niggers?

 

[biggacracka]

https://youtu.be/XC2sM--K8jI?si=11Wb2DAtCGoMLAoJ

New Letters From Jack where he says he converted the glowies who showed up at his door into fans.

Glowniggers: "We'll be watching your posts and content closely from now on"
Fatso: "fans"

 

[Whaler]

…But, because Jack is a Grade-A fuckup, there’s that little inkling in the back of my mind where I can’t help but think that maybe it actually does work, and Jack (yet again) didn’t use it correctly.

He didn't. The device is designed to break raw eggs in half so you aren't banging them on anything and the shell is easy to clean up. It shows it on the thumbnail for the video and in all the pictures and videos for the product.

 

[Super Hans v2]

The device is designed to break raw eggs in half so you aren't banging them on anything

If that's the case, I'd rather spend my money upgrading my countertop from cardboard.

 

[souschef]

He didn't. The device is designed to break raw eggs in half so you aren't banging them on anything and the shell is easy to clean up. It shows it on the thumbnail for the video and in all the pictures and videos for the product.

Bro its easier to just wipe the surface of wherever you cracked your egg than cleaning the crevices of that plastic bullshit

Not to mention its counter productive. You have several eggs to crack, it will take seconds for you to crack them the regular way, but it will take way more time to stick them inside that little gadget one by one

There's a lot of peculiar little gadgets you could buy to help you in the kitchen, that's not one of them

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I think the only people that can benefit from a device needed to assist with raw eggs are people who have issues with their hands or the elderly

 

[Daddy Strokum]

The point isn't that the egg splitter is dumb. The point is that Jack used it incorrectly (or rather told Tammy how to use it incorrectly) and was flabbergasted that it didn't de-shell a hard boiled egg.