Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[Kosher Dill]

I reviewed the Jakestream for Monday 5/19/2025. Zero interesting things happened, but midway through he stopped to take some medications he forgot earlier.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

He faces a never-ending list of ever-changing excuses for why he can't get this or that done.

Jake has never had a changing list of "excuses" it's always been because he's FAT. Nobody is willing to risk their medical license putting someone his size under for a cosmetic surgery. Especially because he's poor.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Nobody is willing to risk their medical license putting someone his size under for a cosmetic surgery.

And that includes the notorious butcher Dr. Rumer! Imagine what it must take to get turned away from her.
(hint: it involves being enormously FAT)

 

[kazuhiro]

Jake doesn't believe he'll be alive for very much longer.

Any suggestions for the short time he has left? No? Guess he'll spend it on Bluesky then.

Spoiler

Kamen Rider.

Gamergate.

Patreon.

Nora Reed.

Medication.

Zelda.

Gail Simone.

Correcting pronouns in a very long Nerdskull argument.

Casey Cronin.


Dr. Hazel.

Scams.

Twitter.

More Nerdskull.

More crypto.

Mobile games.

Melancholy thoughts.

 

[lIllllIiiiiLLLLiiiiIIIIll]

Lmao at "don't say spend time with loved ones because that's not an option". Even on death's door (allegedly), he's gonna pity bait that everyone hates his smelly ass. He's setting up the answer to be the one he wants: "Well I guess just keep beating off at home, loser."

 

[Spunt]

Over the course of my life I have met several people who have complained to me that all their friends betray and abandon them. Of course ALL those people were the common denominator in all these "betrayal" incidents, but they tended to be so narcissistic and/or lacking in self-awareness that they could spend decades going through this cycle over and over again and be none the wiser that they are the problem rather than literally everyone they meet.

As an example, I have an acquaintance/personal lolcow who is a struggling musician, and every album she puts out sounds like garbage and gets bad reviews. And every time she does a press interview for the next one, she blames the producer of the previous one for its shortcomings. She has done this at least four successive times. At this point it can't be just about failing to notice a pattern, surely at this point it is requiring active effort to ignore the bleeding obvious.

And yet all these people claim to be in therapy, Jake included. Dave Muscato claims to be in therapy three days a week. The whole point of therapy is to learn to break free from cycles of behaviour. Either these people are lying about being in therapy, the therapists they are seeing are shit, or they are not engaging with the process at all.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Jake doesn't believe he'll be alive for very much longer.

... he says as he plans out his 6th and 7th passes through the alphabet on his Steam library and draws maps for a new RPG.

Either these people are lying about being in therapy, the therapists they are seeing are shit, or they are not engaging with the process at all.

I wish we had more recent therapy stories from Jake, but this is pretty much it regardless. He's been fired by therapists who couldn't chip away at his brick wall of elective delusions. (Maybe they should have used some of the spoons people keep losing) Whoever he's seeing now must be a very affirming therapist who just collects checks to pretend to listen to gnome whines.
"Uh-huh, Nazis under your bed, that must be tough."

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

... he says as he plans out his 6th and 7th passes through the alphabet on his Steam library and draws maps for a new RPG.


I wish we had more recent therapy stories from Jake, but this is pretty much it regardless. He's been fired by therapists who couldn't chip away at his brick wall of elective delusions. (Maybe they should have used some of the spoons people keep losing) Whoever he's seeing now must be a very affirming therapist who just collects checks to pretend to listen to gnome whines.
"Uh-huh, Nazis under your bed, that must be tough."

"Lesbian rape gangs, you say? Getting regularly kidnapped by Uber drivers? FASCINATING! Tell me more! I am totally not recording this so I can turn this into a Sybill- like book or movie!!

 

[TurboNAS]

Some end of life planning appears to be in order. Jake wouldn’t want his estate to be in disarray when he passes.

Who will inherit his precious Steam library?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Some end of life planning appears to be in order. Jake wouldn’t want his estate to be in disarray when he passes.

Who will inherit his precious Steam library?

And the royalties from his published works!

 

[Kosher Dill]

And the royalties from his published works!

As members of the Estate Of Jake Alley, I think we have a claim on all uncashed checks for pennies from indie RPG publishers.
His computers and phones, old and new, will undergo forensic analysis and then be sold off on Ebay; proceeds will be distributed equally among all heirs.

I've divided the remainder of his estate into lots, and like Captain Bligh's loyalists on the lifeboat of the "Bounty", we'll divide them by playing "Who Shall Have This?" once the funeral knell has tolled.

Lot 1
Jake's modern console games (Wii and onward), plus Nintendo, Sony, etc. accounts.

Lot 2
Jake's classic console games (pre-Wii).

Lot 3
Jake's RPG book and dice collection. Any board games not designed by him are included in this lot.

Lot 4
Jake's Steam account (and Epic Store and similar gaming storefronts). PC game accounts are included in this lot.

Lot 5
Jake's intellectual property rights, including future royalties on existing properties, plus all remaining copies of "The Massive vs. the Masses" and "Missile Command" in his possession. Unpublished and lost works (if they happen to be found) are included.

Lot 6
Jake's car.

Lot 7
Jake's personal effects - furniture, clothing, non-gaming books, cooking utensils, etc. Additionally, the right to pursue any legal claims on Jake's behalf that didn't expire along with him (apart from those related to IP).

Lot X
The Autism Papers.

Beard-hair relics will be distributed to heirs while supply lasts!

 

[TurboNAS]

Grandpa tell us about that pot on the shelf.

Gladly. In this very pot the Gnome of Niantic once boiled water to make ramen.

Ooooh! You can still see the burn marks.

 

[kazuhiro]

Intrepid reporter Violet Hargrave exposes AI as the con job it is once more.

Spoiler: More Bluesky

Zach.

Nire Bryce.


Dr. Hazel.




Jiggles.

Gail Simone.


Benjanun.

Nerdskull.



Humor.



The latest gamestream.

 

[Temperance]

After catching up on a few months of posts in this thread, TBH it does sound like Jake is reaching some kind of end-of-the-line. There's been a very noticeable uptick in his doomposting and begging for support.

Spoiler: Idle speculation - feel free to skip

I can't imagine him killing himself (too cowardly). Doubt he'll finally go out and get a real job either, no matter how desperate the situation becomes. Where does that leave Jake...?

IMO, the support from his family has become increasingly strained. It must be frustrating to continue paying** for this middle-aged manchild when he's shown absolutely no sign of improvement over the past decade+.

• **I've always assumed they're responsible for a sizable chunk of his Patreon income, and they probably give/lend him more money on top of that (for shortfalls or unexpected expenses).

I'm thinking that aside from Jake's standard excuses for why he can't get a regular job (which his family has undoubtedly grown tired of hearing), he's probably been making wild assurances over the last couple years about how he's totally going to start supporting himself with work-from-home content creation. It would explain his recent-ish transition from mostly just writing googleshng Tumblr blogposts to trying to become a Twitch streamer / Youtuber / console-maker / slop RPG dev on itch.io / etc. All of this has obviously failed, and his family's patience is possibly running out.

So, what'll happen when Jake can no longer live independently? His poor, aging mother might not be willing (or able) to let him move back into her attic, and I doubt anyone else will take Jake in either. If his mom doesn't take him back, then my guess is that only homelessness awaits. He'll bounce between shelters and sleeping in his car or on the streets, he'll still refuse to work despite everything, and he'll eventually be shuffled into some kind of care facility.

/end of idle speculation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Side-note:

Nothing interesting happened, except that we got one Alt-Tabbie:



Notice that he's talking on Discord to someone called "Penny" and it looks very, how do the kids say, sus.
Can't make out most of what's said, but Penny does mention "TT", as in Talking-Time. Is Jake trying to worm his way back in, or is Penny just his mole?

This is the Penny he was talking to: https://bsky.app/profile/pixelatedpenny.bsky.social


I noticed this coincidentally while checking out Jake's follower/following lists.
Becky Gerber did a hard reset on her Bluesky account a week+ ago (which wiped out her own lists), and I noticed that she hasn't bothered to refollow Jake since then. Jake hasn't refollowed her either, but I'm betting it's because he hasn't even noticed it yet. ...Or maybe he thinks that Becky is ghosting him? (Maybe he isn't wrong? )

BTW:
...do you know who IS following Jake? On more than one account, even?

Hmm. Now, why would Liz Fong-Jones show this kind of interest in Jake? It's not like Jake was particularly involved in #DropKiwiFarms...
Could it be something else? Is Liz riveted by the googleshngs? Is it Jake's profound tech knowledge, his winning personality, his vast personal wealth, his connections to powerful/influential people, or perhaps even the stunning beauty of Ms. Violet Ocean?

Lol no. I can confidently say that there's literally no quality about Jake that interests LFJ... except for his "KiwiFarms victim" status. But again, Jake wasn't really involved in #DKF and doesn't seem to have anything of value he can provide to Liz's deplatforming efforts. At least, not right now...
To be blunt, I strongly suspect that Liz is being a Machiavellian vulture here. He knows Jake is a socially-isolated, impoverished loser who's circling the drain. He can see Jake's doomposting and his fruitless Patreon e-begging that is growing more desperate over time. I believe Liz is waiting/hoping for Jake's death.

Liz Fong-Jones is a well-connected multi-millionaire. If he wanted to, he could do something to help out Jake. Even a small gesture would probably mean the world to Jake. ...But has Liz even lifted a finger? Almost certainly not. (He notoriously didn't pay his top #DKF lackey a living wage, for example, even though the lackey was otherwise unemployed and on the brink of homelessness.)

No, Jake will only be valuable to LFJ in death. If Jake commits suicide (or becomes homeless and dies out on the streets), then his death can be used as yet another bludgeon against KiwiFarms. Liz will even be able to claim (LIE) that he was a personal friend - just look at how they followed each other on Bluesky and chatted once in a blue moon!
Poor Violet Cassandra Ocean! Driven to her untimely death after a decade of stalking & networked harassment by the evil KiwiFarms! They've increased their kill count yet again! Poor Violet, your dear friend Liz will avenge you!

Maybe I'm a schizo, but this is what I sincerely believe is going on.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Gail Simone.

"I witnessed the birth of two sheep and several chickens hatching during a total solar eclipse in a flooded out muddy field."

When the hell did that happen? Not doubting the "eclipse" part as much as the "Jake was outside, near animals" part.

Was this via webcam?

 

[Kosher Dill]

TBH it does sound like Jake is reaching some kind of end-of-the-line. There's been a very noticeable uptick in his doomposting and begging for support.

I dunno, it comes and it goes with no apparent reason behind it. If anything, I'd say his truest peak of desperation was in November when he actually entertained the prospect of getting a job as a Doordash driver. We haven't had another "Find A Way To Survive" stream since.

He knows Jake is a socially-isolated, impoverished loser who's circling the drain. He can see Jake's doomposting and his fruitless Patreon e-begging that is growing more desperate over time. I believe Liz is waiting/hoping for Jake's death.

Do you really think he knows though? Nobody reads Jake's posts except us, and he's not pulling the fire alarm 24/7. His latest Goodbye Cruel World is buried in googleshnging right now. Plus, if anything you'd think a fellow troon would have a keen sense of when a suicide bait is just bait - takes a thief to know a thief and all that.
My wild guess is that The Fong just added Jake because he's got one of the biggest threads in the tranny section right here, without knowing much more. I think everyone with a bigger thread has already had their 15 minutes of fame/infamy - Keffals, Yaniv, and so on.

I'm thinking that aside from Jake's standard excuses for why he can't get a regular job (which his family has undoubtedly grown tired of hearing), he's probably been making wild assurances over the last couple years about how he's totally going to start supporting himself with work-from-home content creation. It would explain his recent-ish transition from mostly just writing googleshng Tumblr blogposts to trying to become a Twitch streamer / Youtuber / console-maker / slop RPG dev on itch.io / etc. All of this has obviously failed, and his family's patience is possibly running out.

This would make perfect sense, but apart from that one day in November, Jake never seemed that desperate. He's still talking about his plans for the next 2 goddamn years of alphabet streaming.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I checked the Jakestream for Monday 5/26/2025.

He was late because he was "fighting a pair of medical socks". It's too late, when you've got Lord Beetus, Dr. Pepper, and Aunt Jemima rolled up with siege artillery on your feet, this game of Age of Wonderbread is over.
Nonetheless, he pulls out "a little plate of nachos" while waiting for a game to load.

His sound was weird and echo-y when he started out, which got me excited for some sort of eviction saga, but it turned out to be just mic problems.

As usual, nothing interesting gaming-wise. He plays Dark Souls 2 if anyone cares about that. He's planning a workstream for Friday and his next gaming stream on Monday, so his imminent demise will just have to wait.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Intrepid reporter Violet Hargrave exposes AI as the con job it is once more.

What's great about this particular one is that Jake's rant has absolutely nothing to do with what the article's talking about. AI in the headline just triggered the rant routine and he dumped out double digit tweets about something only slightly related to it. Even though he indicates that he read the article.

I love how yet again Jake's so out of touch with his own "side" and up his own ass about his mastery about the topic that he's yelling about how AI doesn't do anything at all while everybody else on Bluesky is screaming how it's going to genocide all artists by rendering them obsolete. Everybody else on social media is seeing the random shit people generate every single day while Jake is still insisting that there's not even an idea of how generative AI is supposed to work. You know he's never even used one of the many many image generators available.

Anyway I told grok to draw a picture you'll recognize in the style of Ranma 1/2:

 

[Kosher Dill]

You know he's never even used one of the many many image generators available.

I have often suspected as much, yes.
Seriously, Jake should be using AI, at least for prototyping. His entire thing is that he's an Idea Guy with no production talent. Even "The Massive vs. the Masses" was held up for ages due to art.
Imagine if he just put together an AI-slop version of his card game to pitch to publishers - even if the idea would be to go back and do it with real art. It might actually get a hearing, whereas this would get laughed out the door.

 

[kazuhiro]

No work stream yesterday, as Jake is getting some physical materials he can't really get pictures of. Oh, and the Grim Reaper has been spending time around him lately.

Spoiler: Other stuff

Kav P gets the birthday treatment.

Nair.

Japan.

Work.

TTRPG.


Final Fantasy.