Your female coworker reminds me of me when I was younger regarding my perspective on niggers. I was definitely programmed with the whole Blank Slate bullshit and was aghast that anyone would ever refer to a black person as a nigger or not give them every chance to become the engineer/doctor/scientist/lawyer we're all still told they'll surely be if not for [insert whatever lie you like]. If you're not directly exposed to their exhausting and often dangerous bullshit it's far too easy to believe the MSM saying people are just being racist and mean.
Then I grew up into early adulthood, got out on my own, and spent time around them. They made it so crystal clear why they're hated and why the very accurate stereotypes about them exist. Not only did I quickly come to despise niggers, I had equal antipathy for anyone saying I should ignore what I was seeing/hearing.
And it's the same with the trannies/enbies/gender speshuls I've worked with. They can't just shut the fuck up about it and do their job. Nope, that shit has to be front and center for damn near everything, and of course they have to be immune from criticism or rules/policies because if they're not that's a "phobia" (never won't be funny to me how people who are digusted by a disgusting mental illness are also called mentally ill). With the "popularity" of this bullshit being all over social media for a bit, a lot more of these things appeared in workplaces and it organically generated this pushback we're talking about ITT.
tl;dr: TTD!