Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

The problem is that doesn't explain the shit performance of Star Wars Outlaws.
Star Wars Outlaws performed poorly for the same reason most of Disney's slop has, as pointed out by Saint Rich Evans himself: nobody wants to admit that all people really like about Star Wars is Darth Vader and lightsabers.

If the game had starred Han Solo I think it would have performed way better --or even the guy from the Andor show as a tie-in-- but instead anyone who saw this game whether they followed coverage or not saw the standard Ubisoft formula applied to a Star Wars branded game that didn't really need to be Star Wars because aside from Jabba The Hutt getting a cameo it could have just been a generic sci-fi game (from what I've seen, I haven't played it for the reasons already mentioned).
 
Speaking of wikipedia historical revisionist Jewstorians... anyone seen Thomas lately?
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Did the Yakuza send out a hit squad on his self-sourcing/editing limey ass? All the niggerai propaganda, from Asscreed to Netfux, all incepted by one semitic faggot playing mahjong in japan but checkers in the west. A good teaching lesson about propaganda campaigns and citogenesis in the post-modern age, and why I never use Conqueredpedia - because to this day the Lockley fanfiction is still up as gospel despite the Japanese nation itself rejecting it. Nigger worship is State-Mandated Common Core in the zionized west.
Good question, although anybody honest knew it was complete bullshit when he wouldn’t defend his work with evidence.

Japan stopped being polite and letting it exist as a 10% possible historical anomaly and 90% fanfic, and just started ripping it apart with the facts.

Now he’s hiding.
 
Don't the chinks now own all of Tom Clancy brand? If that's the case, they own much more than just R6.
Also, imagine how the man himself would feel if he knew
This is the Chinese's revenge for Tom Clancy having the Russians and Americans team up to kick chink ass in The Bear and the Dragon.
 
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I just wish people would stop plugging their ears and going "LALALALALA culture war baaaad" every time the subject of politics around Shadows comes up. Political motives are absolutely a part of Ubisofts creative process, including with Shadows.

For fucks sake the reason anyone bothered to defend this giant pile of shit is because people they disagreed with politically were calling it bad. Acting like politics is a non-factor in both the game itself and it's release is borderline delusional.
 
I just wish people would stop plugging their ears and going "LALALALALA culture war baaaad" every time the subject of politics around Shadows comes up. Political motives are absolutely a part of Ubisofts creative process, including with Shadows.
Personally I prefer to sidestep the culture war stuff because I think it distracts from how generally shit a lot of these games are at a foundational level. Like Skull And Bones wasn't just a shit game, it was a worse version of a game Ubisoft already released a decade prior. They can't even copy themselves competently any more.
 
Star Wars Outlaws performed poorly for the same reason most of Disney's slop has, as pointed out by Saint Rich Evans himself: nobody wants to admit that all people really like about Star Wars is Darth Vader and lightsabers.

If the game had starred Han Solo I think it would have performed way better --or even the guy from the Andor show as a tie-in-- but instead anyone who saw this game whether they followed coverage or not saw the standard Ubisoft formula applied to a Star Wars branded game that didn't really need to be Star Wars because aside from Jabba The Hutt getting a cameo it could have just been a generic sci-fi game (from what I've seen, I haven't played it for the reasons already mentioned).
Avatar game also did poorly, think people are just sick of the open world ubisoft formula that takes 50+ hours to beat more than anything.
 
Avatar game also did poorly, think people are just sick of the open world ubisoft formula that takes 50+ hours to beat more than anything.
I knew they were fucked when I played Prince of Persia: Lost Crown and didn't get the double-jump til the final act of the game. If you can't even make a decent metroidvania it's never been more joever.
 
I knew they were fucked when I played Prince of Persia: Lost Crown and didn't get the double-jump til the final act of the game. If you can't even make a decent metroidvania it's never been more joever.
Wtf has been going on with POP as a series anyway? After AC1 came out the series just... vanished except that one reboot game barely anyone remembers with Nolan North.
 
Wtf has been going on with POP as a series anyway? After AC1 came out the series just... vanished except that one reboot game barely anyone remembers with Nolan North.
They made a few low quality 2D knockoff Metroidvania games that sold horribly and no one remembers.

The most recent one was heavily mocked for having an incredibly soy artstyle and giving the Prince zoomer hair.
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Personally I prefer to sidestep the culture war stuff because I think it distracts from how generally shit a lot of these games are at a foundational level. Like Skull And Bones wasn't just a shit game, it was a worse version of a game Ubisoft already released a decade prior. They can't even copy themselves competently any more.
Pretty much this. I have yet to see one of these shitty tranny looking games actually have good gameplay.
SW Outlaws? Couldn't keep guns, they were just temporary pickups on the map and couldn't even keep them when climbing ladders. Plenty of videos showing off bad gameplay.
Skull and Bones, again shitty boring looking gameplay.
AC Shadows, shitty gameplay even if Yasuke didn't exist and had been replaced with generic samurai man. Shitty art, shitty voice acting and dialogue, shitty gameplay. Who the fuck wants to play Assassins Creed as a character bad at stealth and parkour?
Concord, boring uninspired shitty gameplay for what should have been a f2p game.
Veilguard, shitty gameplay with meaningless party members, dialogue is vapid garbage even when the heckin valid tranny isn't included.
Suicide Squad. Shitty gameplay with characters flying around the map and shooting guns, that wouldn't normally be flying or having guns.
Avowed. Turned out to be a shitty dollar store attempt at an Elder Scrolls game with shitty gameplay, no physics, bad collision, static NPCs, etc.
Unknown 9. Boring looking gameplay, mediocre graphics, and tried to launch as if it were an established franchise with multiple spinoffs when no one knew what the fuck it even was.
Homeworld 3. Managed to fuck up the formula the entire franchise was built on in an attempt to focus on some stupid rogue-light mode for a 3d space RTS, along with fucking up the controls, and managing to turn most areas of an open space RTS into an enclosed arena. Managed to fuck up the control scheme horribly, when it was already done properly in a 25 year old game(homeworld 1).
Multiversus, f2p warner brothers IP smash brothers clone that is scheduled to die in 5 days because the only hype behind it was a couple of memes related to DBZ of all things.
Xdefiant. No one wanted a halfassed area shooter from Ubisoft. Game dies in 8 days.
Foam Stars, confused everyone regarding why having a shitty version of splatoon would be popular.
Indiana Jones and the great circle. Turns out no one wanted a shittier version of Uncharted as a video game featuring a main character constantly running out of breath and resorting to throwing beer bottles and brooms and enemies.

So yes, even when ignoring the DEI rainbow slop painted over these games, they're still all shit games at their core. Now you could say that they're all shit because of DEI hiring resulting in incompetent studios making games, but that doesn't mean that the games are flops because the main character is a handicapped mulatto tranny with vitiligo. At their core, they're just shitty games no one wanted.

Wtf has been going on with POP as a series anyway? After AC1 came out the series just... vanished except that one reboot game barely anyone remembers with Nolan North.
The big Sands of Time remake got it's trailer in 2020 and looked so laughably bad that they pretty much scrapped it all and started from scratch with nothing to show for it after another 4 years because some studio they hired for it decided to make it look like some bollywood bullshit with graphics 10 years out of date when the trailer came out.
That after the metroidvanias that @Jace on ice mentioned killed the franchise.
 
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They made a few low quality 2D knockoff Metroidvania games that sold horribly and no one remembers.

The most recent one was heavily mocked for having an incredibly soy artstyle and giving the Prince zoomer hair.
It's not even the Prince, it's a bodyguard of the Prince. So it's a Prince of Persia game without the titular character.
 
incredibly soy artstyle and giving the Prince zoomer hair.
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And they nigger'd him up of course Lol. Like a broken record I must repeat, State-mandated nigger worship is the zionized West's common core. Everything must be shitted up, every culture must be shitted up, everything good must be made colorless and black (the absence of color). Everything must be stained brown like a nasty pair of underwear. Nigger fatigue has evolved into nigger exhaustion in a mere 5 years.
Now he’s hiding.
Good.
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The big Sands of Time remake got it's trailer in 2020 and looked so laughably bad that they pretty much scrapped it all and started from scratch with nothing to show for it after another 4 years because some studio they hired for it decided to make it look like some bollywood bullshit with graphics 10 years out of date when the trailer came out.
The story I heard was even worse than that. Ubisoft palmed the project off on some pajeet satellite studio but either lost or just didn't bother to give them any of the original Sands of Time design documents or assets so they were literally starting from scratch and I guess having to build the game based off of watching longplays on YouTube.

I'm sure there was some other insane detail like the director having never worked on a video game before but that might have been Skull & Bones.
Then why isn't it called Bodyguard Of Persia?
The same reason Marathon 2025 is called Marathon despite having fuck all to do with the original FPS series besides some shared lore.
 
The story I heard was even worse than that. Ubisoft palmed the project off on some pajeet satellite studio but either lost or just didn't bother to give them any of the original Sands of Time design documents or assets so they were literally starting from scratch and I guess having to build the game based off of watching longplays on YouTube.

I'm sure there was some other insane detail like the director having never worked on a video game before but that might have been Skull & Bones.
The pajeet studio for sands of time definitely happened(hence the bollywood look). The not getting design docs or new director isn't something I had heard before but none of that would surprise me either. But even that wasn't a DEI issue, it was a lame attempt at cost cutting. It's the same reason Ubisoft signed that deal with Singapore who subsidized part of the development of Skull and Bones. They were failed attempts to cheap out on studio costs.
 
The pajeet studio for sands of time definitely happened(hence the bollywood look). The not getting design docs or new director isn't something I had heard before but none of that would surprise me either.
I couldn't find the video, but I did find this article that makes pretty much the same claims, although it is written by a fellow pajeet so keep that in mind.
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Another interesting thing the article mentions is the name of the boss of Ubisoft India: Jean-Philippe Pieuchot. Sounds like exactly what they did with the shitshow in Singapore where they used these third world shit holes as tax havens to send their French executives for a little holiday (or maybe punishment since it's India).
 
It felt like I saw all this weird shilling for a game for like a day then it disappeared off the face of the earth.
That's because it was astroturfed via twitch, youtube, etc. initially and no one actually cared about it even though it was part of PS+ that the console plebs pay for to get online multiplayer in games. It came out in Feb. 2024 and Square Enix announced they were done bothering to update it in December of that same year.
The game was dead already 2 months after launch
 
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Considering how badly the regularly scheduled 2-3 hr maintenances usually go I'm morbidly curious to see if they completely FUBAR this one like that time they bricked the entire update system.
 
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