Culture Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It

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Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It​

Some men are going to increasingly bizarre lengths to figure out if a woman is dating them for money—and women are calling it out as manipulative, disrespectful, and straight-up weird.

One Reddit user shared her recent experience on the subreddit r/AITA (now deleted), where she explained how a seemingly normal first date took a sharp turn into “you’ve got to be kidding me” territory. The 29-year-old woman went out with a man introduced to her by a mutual friend. Everything felt pretty standard—until the check came. That’s when things got strange.

He handed her the bill and asked her to pay it, despite the date totaling over $100. She didn’t mind splitting, she said and was prepared to pay her share. But this wasn’t about money. It was a setup. “Right after I paid, he got this huge grin on his face and said, ‘Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re not a gold digger,’” she wrote.

The woman called him out, saying, “I’m not your ex, and you have no right to treat me like I’m guilty until proven innocent.” She added, “You’re not some prize that I need to pass tests for.”

Commenters on the thread didn’t hold back. “It absolutely WAS a test—to see how far he could disrespect you,” one user wrote. Another chimed in, “He’s not actually offering much else. At least, not a pleasant character.”

And this kind of behavior isn’t isolated. In a separate AITA post, another woman described going on a date with a man who claimed to be a carpenter. He later admitted it was a lie—he had fabricated the low-paying job to “test” her reaction. “He just wanted to test me,” she wrote.

Reddit didn’t take kindly to that one, either. “So not only is he dishonest and can’t communicate, he’s classist,” one commenter said. Another added, “His ‘test’ gave away his character flaw. He showed you that he’s a snob.”

And honestly? He’s an idiot—because trades like carpentry can actually be super lucrative, especially if you’re good and run your own business.

Some called out the obvious red flag: “I’d like to start this potential relationship by lying to you” isn’t exactly a great opening move.

Whether it’s fake job titles or surprise check handoffs, women are pointing out the pattern. These “tests” aren’t clever—they’re projections. And if your date is making you prove you’re not a gold digger before the appetizers are cleared, they’re probably the one bringing baggage to the table.
 
The etiquette is that the asker does the paying. If you ask someone out you offer to pay. The polite thing to do is then to offer to go halves, at which point the asker should say no.
Anyone spending a fortune on a first date is unwise. Just go for a coffee somewhere. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. It just creates uncomfortableness
Which is a totally sensible way to approach it, especially with the expectation that the first date is for a beer or coffee or something cheap and low-commitment. "Hey, you're fun to talk to, lemme buy you a beer sometime" is pretty easy, right?

I think where most people get hung up is that 1. some weirdos have the idea, as expressed earlier, that a first date should be a fancy full dinner, and 2. in something like 99% of cases it's the men doing the asking on a date; even when a girl is showing interest in a guy, it's not her asking him out but her giving him an opportunity to ask him out. It's easy to look at such a situation, where this person is your equal but also you owe them the first date just because, and decide not to play ball out of spite. It might not be a good long-term strategy for not dying alone, but it's understandable.
 
learn some niche but romantic skill like piloting or sailing
Neither of these things should be taken as "romantic". Any pilot or sailor worth their salt probably already wants to have sex with their vessel, and as a result most sailors/pilots will freely admit that they are already in love with a gold-digging bitch. That's probably a good thing, considering that general aviation and recreational sailing are already dangerous enough with autists who take that sort of shit seriously. Picking up sailing or piloting to attempt to impress women isn't a great idea unless it was something you were serious about to begin with.
 
>just get a plane and a yacht and some luxury accessoires!
>what do you mean gold digger? stop being a sperg you incel!

can't make this shit up lmao

so wait, dancing and cooking and singing are only for rich people? Jewelry making is also extremely accessible, doesn’t have to be gold and diamonds. Idgi. Just do SOMETHING.

Edit: something other than vidya and porn and working and watching telly. Seriously. If you wanna mock my advice, enjoy dying alone or ending up with a boring tard who settled.
 
so wait, dancing and cooking and singing are only for rich people? Jewelry making is also extremely accessible, doesn’t have to be gold and diamonds. Idgi. Just do SOMETHING.

Edit: something other than vidya and porn and working and watching telly. Seriously. If you wanna mock my advice, enjoy dying alone or ending up with a boring tard who settled.
Even sailing is something you can learn without owning a boat. There are places that offer sailing classes. I have a boat license. I don't own a boat.
 
>just get a plane and a yacht and some luxury accessoires!
>what do you mean gold digger? stop being a sperg you incel!

can't make this shit up lmao
piloting to attempt to impress women
No women are impressed by pilots. People who own their own planes or boats are generally poor. Everything you have to fix or upgrade on either of them starts at $1000.
 
No women are impressed by pilots. People who own their own planes or boats are generally poor. Everything you have to fix or upgrade on either of them starts at $1000.

Women (and I should know, I actually am one) are impressed by men who give a fuck about literally anything and actually go out and do things. Preferably things that result in some sort of fun experience that you can create for a girl. Being taken out on a plane or a boat? Hell yes! Being given something created by his own hands, doesn’t matter if it’s furniture or jewelry or a fucking Bonsai? YES PLEASE. Being taken out dancing? Even just listening to him singing or playing guitar? Yes yes yes.

I want men to stop complaining that everything is too expensive or boring or they don’t have time or whatever. GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING.

I’m inside with some sort of flu or coof or something, so I am pressing this point more than I usually do. For the love of God, GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND DO SOMETHING.

Men who actually do shit are drowning in pussy. It’s so frustrating to hear men on this forum complain about race mixing or whatever when even the gross thuggy black dudes and MS13 members are taking their honeys dancing or whatever and not just expecting chicks to bang them after watching them play Call of Duty for hours.
 
Even just listening to him singing or playing guitar? Yes yes yes.
I have never met a woman who gave a single shit about that. If anything, they consider it a childish affectation and you really should be doing more productive grown-up things with your free time - it's basically on par with playing video games.
 
Women (and I should know, I actually am one) are impressed by men who give a fuck about literally anything and actually go out and do things. Preferably things that result in some sort of fun experience that you can create for a girl. Being taken out on a plane or a boat? Hell yes!
You are the 1% of the 1%, if that. The majority of women just roll their eyes. Similar to when a woman asks what you do in your spare time and you tell her you're finishing remodeling the bathroom.
 
No women are impressed by pilots. People who own their own planes or boats are generally poor. Everything you have to fix or upgrade on either of them starts at $1000.
chicks love boats* though

*no, not your jon boat with all the dents and the Evinrude that sprays oil out the front.
 
No women are impressed by pilots. People who own their own planes or boats are generally poor. Everything you have to fix or upgrade on either of them starts at $1000.
I wouldn't necessarily say that, but if you own a plane or a decent sailboat, they tend not to be nearly as impressed when they find out that owning a plane/boat is roughly around the same cost as a vacation home.
 
as a result most sailors/pilots will freely admit that they are already in love with a gold-digging bitch.

The gold-digging bitch in question is the boat or the plane. Women love the idea of going out on boats and planes owned by wrinkly old boomers to get their Instagram shots in. Keeping a nice boat or aircraft maintained and stored properly isn't cheap. The group of women who want to go out on a little fishing boat and sweat their asses off while they get devoured by mosquitoes is much, much smaller. The group willing to go up in a two-seater ultralight is even slimmer. Not saying they aren't out there, but they're becoming few and far between and basically non-existent if you live in a bughive city.

People can shit on rural folk all they want, country women have the most fun.
 
People can shit on rural folk all they want, country women have the most fun.
I assume all this dating stuff is CITY SLICKERS and their many neuroses, obvously country girls love CHEWIN DIP AND RIPPIN LIP and don't care how many leaks your boat has as long as it fuckin' hauls ass. Unfortunately you can guarantee those women are taken after the age of 22.

EDIT: the women-and-boat stuff is fairly complicated because you have multiple levels of boat ownership and multiple types of boat slut but relationships are based on attraction between people so using material goods to backstop one doesn't work out.
 
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I assume all this dating stuff is CITY SLICKERS and their many neuroses, obvously country girls love CHEWIN DIP AND RIPPIN LIP and don't care how many leaks your boat has as long as it fuckin' hauls ass. Unfortunately you can guarantee those women are taken after the age of 22.

Eh, it's all about location. I can't really offer much advice, I ended up with the gal I grew up making mud pies and catching crawfish in the creek with. There was never even a point for a "gold-digger test", we both grew up poor as dirt without a pot to piss in. I understand the idea behind it, but there has got to be a more subtle way then springing it on your date like she just won a hidden camera show. Then again, it's an article based on an AITA thread, so either a.) it's most likely more creative fiction writing exercises or b.) someone who is incredibly socially inept. I struggle to say "autistic" because people these days assume being critically under socialized is a form of mental disability.
 
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