Culture Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It

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Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It​

Some men are going to increasingly bizarre lengths to figure out if a woman is dating them for money—and women are calling it out as manipulative, disrespectful, and straight-up weird.

One Reddit user shared her recent experience on the subreddit r/AITA (now deleted), where she explained how a seemingly normal first date took a sharp turn into “you’ve got to be kidding me” territory. The 29-year-old woman went out with a man introduced to her by a mutual friend. Everything felt pretty standard—until the check came. That’s when things got strange.

He handed her the bill and asked her to pay it, despite the date totaling over $100. She didn’t mind splitting, she said and was prepared to pay her share. But this wasn’t about money. It was a setup. “Right after I paid, he got this huge grin on his face and said, ‘Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re not a gold digger,’” she wrote.

The woman called him out, saying, “I’m not your ex, and you have no right to treat me like I’m guilty until proven innocent.” She added, “You’re not some prize that I need to pass tests for.”

Commenters on the thread didn’t hold back. “It absolutely WAS a test—to see how far he could disrespect you,” one user wrote. Another chimed in, “He’s not actually offering much else. At least, not a pleasant character.”

And this kind of behavior isn’t isolated. In a separate AITA post, another woman described going on a date with a man who claimed to be a carpenter. He later admitted it was a lie—he had fabricated the low-paying job to “test” her reaction. “He just wanted to test me,” she wrote.

Reddit didn’t take kindly to that one, either. “So not only is he dishonest and can’t communicate, he’s classist,” one commenter said. Another added, “His ‘test’ gave away his character flaw. He showed you that he’s a snob.”

And honestly? He’s an idiot—because trades like carpentry can actually be super lucrative, especially if you’re good and run your own business.

Some called out the obvious red flag: “I’d like to start this potential relationship by lying to you” isn’t exactly a great opening move.

Whether it’s fake job titles or surprise check handoffs, women are pointing out the pattern. These “tests” aren’t clever—they’re projections. And if your date is making you prove you’re not a gold digger before the appetizers are cleared, they’re probably the one bringing baggage to the table.
 
i don't know why more men don't give gold diggers a chance

she would hike out to the mountains with a shovel and gold pan

i would stay at home and smelt the gold nuggets down into bars

we would sell it the gold bars to jews and schizo preppers who waste their money on junk that doesn't help them survive during a disaster at all

sounds like a good life
 
“You’re not some prize that I need to pass tests for.”
He was, actually. That's why you agreed to go on a date with him.
And honestly? He’s an idiot—because trades like carpentry can actually be super lucrative, especially if you’re good and run your own business.
He was an idiot because carpenter implies a big strong sweaty guy building things, which is more attractive than some skinnyfat norwooding banker. "Gamestop clerk" would've been a better fake job for the test.
 
It feels like a minimum qualification for being a dateable man would be having enough intelligence to pick up on clues and red flags through stages of a relationship instead of relying on hamfisted "tests" that proclaim that you believe bitches can't be trusted to everyone you encounter. Going on first dates as a cynical asshole is going to be a letdown for all involved.
 
The woman called him out, saying, “I’m not your ex, and you have no right to treat me like I’m guilty until proven innocent.” She added, “You’re not some prize that I need to pass tests for.”
That absolutely didn't happen, but more importantly dating is a big test to see if you're compatible with the guy. You both figured out you disagree on something fundamentally and won't continue seeing one another. It worked the way it's supposed to.
Why are people going on expensive first dates? Odds are you'll never see them again. What happened to going to a Chilis?
It's 2025, you probably would spend a hundred bucks at Chili's nowadays.
 
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