Culture Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It

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Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It​

Some men are going to increasingly bizarre lengths to figure out if a woman is dating them for money—and women are calling it out as manipulative, disrespectful, and straight-up weird.

One Reddit user shared her recent experience on the subreddit r/AITA (now deleted), where she explained how a seemingly normal first date took a sharp turn into “you’ve got to be kidding me” territory. The 29-year-old woman went out with a man introduced to her by a mutual friend. Everything felt pretty standard—until the check came. That’s when things got strange.

He handed her the bill and asked her to pay it, despite the date totaling over $100. She didn’t mind splitting, she said and was prepared to pay her share. But this wasn’t about money. It was a setup. “Right after I paid, he got this huge grin on his face and said, ‘Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re not a gold digger,’” she wrote.

The woman called him out, saying, “I’m not your ex, and you have no right to treat me like I’m guilty until proven innocent.” She added, “You’re not some prize that I need to pass tests for.”

Commenters on the thread didn’t hold back. “It absolutely WAS a test—to see how far he could disrespect you,” one user wrote. Another chimed in, “He’s not actually offering much else. At least, not a pleasant character.”

And this kind of behavior isn’t isolated. In a separate AITA post, another woman described going on a date with a man who claimed to be a carpenter. He later admitted it was a lie—he had fabricated the low-paying job to “test” her reaction. “He just wanted to test me,” she wrote.

Reddit didn’t take kindly to that one, either. “So not only is he dishonest and can’t communicate, he’s classist,” one commenter said. Another added, “His ‘test’ gave away his character flaw. He showed you that he’s a snob.”

And honestly? He’s an idiot—because trades like carpentry can actually be super lucrative, especially if you’re good and run your own business.

Some called out the obvious red flag: “I’d like to start this potential relationship by lying to you” isn’t exactly a great opening move.

Whether it’s fake job titles or surprise check handoffs, women are pointing out the pattern. These “tests” aren’t clever—they’re projections. And if your date is making you prove you’re not a gold digger before the appetizers are cleared, they’re probably the one bringing baggage to the table.
 
This should be the journalistic equivalent of amputating the wrong limb.

Not inconceivable it could happen to a good professional once through a perfect storm of errors. It should still be investigated. But if it happens again, the board needs to get involved and the license needs to be suspended.
 
It feels like a minimum qualification for being a dateable man would be having enough intelligence to pick up on clues and red flags through stages of a relationship instead of relying on hamfisted "tests" that proclaim that you believe bitches can't be trusted to everyone you encounter. Going on first dates as a cynical asshole is going to be a letdown for all involved.
Shit I’m on the spectrum and even I know you don’t announce the shit tests you apply to your date, if she fails you just say “I don’t think this is going to work out” and leave. It’s called being subtle and tactful

For example, I never spend more than 20 bucks on a first date, all-in (especially when it’s an internet person). If the girl gets mad at me for not participating in her foodie call or other expensive parasitism, I just leave, because it was never going to work.
 
The etiquette is that the asker does the paying. If you ask someone out you offer to pay. The polite thing to do is then to offer to go halves, at which point the asker should say no.
Anyone spending a fortune on a first date is unwise. Just go for a coffee somewhere. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. It just creates uncomfortableness
 
i don't know why more men don't give gold diggers a chance

she would hike out to the mountains with a shovel and gold pan

i would stay at home and smelt the gold nuggets down into bars

we would sell it the gold bars to jews and schizo preppers who waste their money on junk that doesn't help them survive during a disaster at all

sounds like a good life
Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she does carry around that weird pan and keeps mumbling under her breath about "gold in them there hills"
 
One of the most important things, in my opinion, is checking if the lady(edit: or man) is in debt or not. Nothing wrong with that, someone can end up owing the bank or collectors money for many reasons including divorce, house ownership and loan interest changes etc, it might eat away at the paycheck. Understandable. But if they owe money for complete fiscal retardation then buyer be aware - you are getting involved!
 
In other news, women continue to marry successful men with the intention of divorcing them after a couple of years and living off alimony. I don’t think cuntoids have a leg to stand on in this debate.

Ladies, if you’re mad at this ‘trend’, ask yourself- when was the last time you reached for the check on a first date? Because if you’re a STRENG EMPOOWAHD WAHMON but also believe that the man should make all the effort, you’re a hypocrite.

Who the hell spends $100 on a first date?
Smart men who know how escorting works, and simps. No in betweens.

Nigga you smell broke
Shades of the “I deserve more than an ice cream date” type of woman.
If the cost of the date is more important than the guy sitting opposite, you’re probably not the kind of woman most men are willing to commit to.
 
The etiquette is that the asker does the paying. If you ask someone out you offer to pay. The polite thing to do is then to offer to go halves, at which point the asker should say no.
Anyone spending a fortune on a first date is unwise. Just go for a coffee somewhere. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. It just creates uncomfortableness

there’s no hope trying to educate the spergs. I have been trying for ages to give men advice — learn to dance, learn to sing, learn to cook, learn some niche but romantic skill like piloting or sailing or making jewelry or whatever — and they often just say that sounds hard/not fun to them, isn’t it enough that they have a good paying career?

No my dude, if you make a lot of money but give nothing else, you really will only appeal to gold diggers. A real woman who loves you wants some reasons to love you. Give her those reasons.
 
there’s no hope trying to educate the spergs. I have been trying for ages to give men advice — learn to dance, learn to sing, learn to cook, learn some niche but romantic skill like piloting or sailing or making jewelry or whatever — and they often just say that sounds hard/not fun to them, isn’t it enough that they have a good paying career?

No my dude, if you make a lot of money but give nothing else, you really will only appeal to gold diggers. A real woman who loves you wants some reasons to love you. Give her those reasons.
…and what do women need to do to ante up to all this horseshit?
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I have been trying for ages to give men advice — learn to dance, learn to sing, learn to cook, learn some niche but romantic skill like piloting or sailing or making jewelry or whatever — and they often just say that sounds hard/not fun to them
Duh? If I have to organize all my free time around lame prop "hobbies" in order to appeal to women, I'll just do the things I actually enjoy by myself instead.

Playing 80s thrash metal in my basement is about as unsexy and uncool as it gets, but I'd rather be genuinely uncool than be appreciated for the person I'm pretending to be.
 
…and what do women need to do to ante up to all this horseshit?
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I absolutely agree. But you do know there are people in loving relationships that enjoy each other’s company, right? I’m assuming that’s what we are all aspiring to here. No one asked me how to get laid. They asked me how to get a relationship like mine/what my husband did to woo me. And I told them honestly that it’s just not enough to make money if you want a woman who isn’t a gold digger or retarded/boring. You have to actually show some signs of not being an NPC yourself.

Also, like… you can *learn* to enjoy some things. Men act like women expecting them to learn how to dance or have a romantic hobby is some sort of crazy imposition when it’s actually usually good for the man as well. Of course, it sometimes requires doing some legwork rather than endlessly consooming, which seems to be the only thing people think of as recreational these days.

EDIT: playing 80s thrash metal in your basement is the exact sort of thing I am talking about. Just give her SOMETHING to think/talk about you OTHER THAN YOUR FUCKING JOB.

Not that your job isn’t important. The job is table stakes tho and you can lose a job.
 
there’s no hope trying to educate the spergs. I have been trying for ages to give men advice — learn to dance, learn to sing, learn to cook, learn some niche but romantic skill like piloting or sailing or making jewelry or whatever — and they often just say that sounds hard/not fun to them, isn’t it enough that they have a good paying career?

No my dude, if you make a lot of money but give nothing else, you really will only appeal to gold diggers. A real woman who loves you wants some reasons to love you. Give her those reasons.
women can absolutely tell when you're only at the yoga class to pick them up, and they do not like that (unless you are hot enough that you can Bundymaxx)
 
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