Culture Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It

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Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It​

Some men are going to increasingly bizarre lengths to figure out if a woman is dating them for money—and women are calling it out as manipulative, disrespectful, and straight-up weird.

One Reddit user shared her recent experience on the subreddit r/AITA (now deleted), where she explained how a seemingly normal first date took a sharp turn into “you’ve got to be kidding me” territory. The 29-year-old woman went out with a man introduced to her by a mutual friend. Everything felt pretty standard—until the check came. That’s when things got strange.

He handed her the bill and asked her to pay it, despite the date totaling over $100. She didn’t mind splitting, she said and was prepared to pay her share. But this wasn’t about money. It was a setup. “Right after I paid, he got this huge grin on his face and said, ‘Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re not a gold digger,’” she wrote.

The woman called him out, saying, “I’m not your ex, and you have no right to treat me like I’m guilty until proven innocent.” She added, “You’re not some prize that I need to pass tests for.”

Commenters on the thread didn’t hold back. “It absolutely WAS a test—to see how far he could disrespect you,” one user wrote. Another chimed in, “He’s not actually offering much else. At least, not a pleasant character.”

And this kind of behavior isn’t isolated. In a separate AITA post, another woman described going on a date with a man who claimed to be a carpenter. He later admitted it was a lie—he had fabricated the low-paying job to “test” her reaction. “He just wanted to test me,” she wrote.

Reddit didn’t take kindly to that one, either. “So not only is he dishonest and can’t communicate, he’s classist,” one commenter said. Another added, “His ‘test’ gave away his character flaw. He showed you that he’s a snob.”

And honestly? He’s an idiot—because trades like carpentry can actually be super lucrative, especially if you’re good and run your own business.

Some called out the obvious red flag: “I’d like to start this potential relationship by lying to you” isn’t exactly a great opening move.

Whether it’s fake job titles or surprise check handoffs, women are pointing out the pattern. These “tests” aren’t clever—they’re projections. And if your date is making you prove you’re not a gold digger before the appetizers are cleared, they’re probably the one bringing baggage to the table.
 
It's fair to "test" your date. Except calling it that is a huge red flag. Just call it "getting to know each other". Simple as.

Women test men too though.

There's a woman PUA analog on reddit, I think it's called r/FemaleDatingStrategy and they definitely talk about tests for dates.

Guys / incel types are testing for sex, housewife shit I guess and I think the FDS types are testing for golddigger concerns.

There's a hilarious clip from a podcast I check in from time to time about them talking all the kooky shit the lady PUAs get up to.

 
There's a woman PUA analog on reddit, I think it's called r/FemaleDatingStrategy and they definitely talk about tests for dates.
those women are unhinged, I know someone who posts on there and she's a certified bunny boiler. if you take a girl home and find out she's on r/FDS you have MINUTES to escape with your liver and kidneys intact and unsold.

also bad news boatbros, it turns out women have their own boats now. I guess we have to turn to crocheting and pigeon-breeding to impress the dames.
 
It's fair to "test" your date. Except calling it that is a huge red flag. Just call it "getting to know each other". Simple as.

Women test men too though.

There's a woman PUA analog on reddit, I think it's called r/FemaleDatingStrategy and they definitely talk about tests for dates.

Guys / incel types are testing for sex, housewife shit I guess and I think the FDS types are testing for golddigger concerns.

There's a hilarious clip from a podcast I check in from time to time about them talking all the kooky shit the lady PUAs get up to.

FDS is hilarious because women don't have PUAs or game really. Most men are bad at these things these days but women are fucking godawful. I think Grandpa Rollo said that girl game basically amounts to "bring beer, be naked" and a good chunk of them can't even manage that. Most of them can barely flirt these days, sometimes its in that "retarded and awkward but cute" way, so it's alright. Social media has just wrecked people.

There's part of me that wants to think their AITA stories are fake, but I've read the comments on hoe_math vids. There are guys that autistic and retarded.
 
WOMEN MOMENT! DING DING DING! WOMEN MOMENT!
those skills arent romantic and talking about them will only bore the female brain.
They sound romantic, but they are hard work.
Dancing works like a charm in my experience. It'a bit complicated in that you don't have to be great at it, but you have to be good enough to pull stuff resembling actual moves and not just like, tilting your shoulders around. Learn how to get them involved, get closer, spin them around, etc.

It all comes down to being someone a girl can be with and think "im having a blast with this guy". It's much, much easier to get to know her if she's feeling comfortable with you, and sharing some songs on the dance floor is a great way to open up.

Also a lot of fun honestly lol. Just close your eyes, let the music flow through you (i swear this makes sense once you experience it) and sooner rather than later you'll have people wanting to join you
 
These guys sound like a bunch of awkward losers who get their dating advice from TikTok.
 
$100 in a not-even-big Big City is like some sirloins and 1 drink each at a place slightly higher level than Applebee's.

I like places a lot too that are like "no coke, Pepsi" or "cebolla y cilantro?" and you're sitting in a booth under bright flourescents in a strip mall with a 24hr massage place on one side and an hvac supply on the other but it just doesn't seem like first date type thing to me.

First date is supposed to be a bit of an "event" for lack of better word, you're not supposed to be doing this really regularly and legit-expensive places shouldn't be on your mind but neither should be budget-friendly.
It's a date. It's supposed to be light cheap and breezy. A $20 pizza should be enough. But bitches don't want that. They want you to blow hundreds of dollars on a date. You shouldn't be spending so much money on a date you expect sex in return. That's just stupid. They are just looking for a free meal 90% of the time and they don't want cheap shit.

A movie and some pizza bagels are all they are really worth actually.
 
I wish that men in the dating scene were as concerned about being interesting, cleaning themselves up before a date, and using their manners as they are about having their non-existent gold dug. It is always the broke dudes who complain about this stuff, often failing to notice the many clues that the woman they are turning off doesn’t need their itty bitty nuggets and usually has her own gold.
 
It's a date. It's supposed to be light cheap and breezy. A $20 pizza should be enough. But bitches don't want that. They want you to blow hundreds of dollars on a date. You shouldn't be spending so much money on a date you expect sex in return. That's just stupid. They are just looking for a free meal 90% of the time and they don't want cheap shit.

A movie and some pizza bagels are all they are really worth actually.
It is always the broke dudes who complain about this stuff. Thanks for proving her hypothesis.
 
It was a setup. “Right after I paid, he got this huge grin on his face and said, ‘Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re not a gold digger,’” she wrote.
Oh honey, it was a setup alright, but it wasn't a "test." Dude just scammed you for a free meal. Sucks being on the other side of that fence for once, doesn't it? :story:
 
I usually just downplay my wealth significantly in the first few dates, if not month or two.

Showing up dressed really sharp but having just hopped out of a 15 year old (spotless, but nevertheless) car should get their noggin joggin.
 
I find the idea that men should play the Liberal liberation game of "oh we are all equal, let's pretend then!" Game to be obnoxious. Even women know at an instinctual level that none of this bullshit is true. Just be confident, have your interests and if she shares those interests great, if she's willing to tolerate and indulge them for other qualities you have that she is into, then okay.

Relationships are never a Disney story. Nor are they TikTok friendly. They are complicated and long. Everyone knew until 5 minutes ago what was needed to make them work. The man has to be competent, and the woman has to be supportive of her man. If those two things happen the rest can be dealt with.
 
Make your first date at a friend's backyard BBQ, bring beer for the two of you, and if your date is a dud, you can make fun of them with your friends until they leave. Plus you still have beer.
No no no you're going about that all wrong. If the date is a dud you don't make fun of her, you make the most of the situation and turn her into dinner. I mean you already have the beer and the BBQ ready, there is no sense in leaving all that meat alone to just walk away when you can make bbq'd beer battered bimbo. a little marinating, a dash of herbs and spices, a few hours on the spit and fun will be had for everyone
 
No no no you're going about that all wrong. If the date is a dud you don't make fun of her, you make the most of the situation and turn her into dinner. I mean you already have the beer and the BBQ ready, there is no sense in leaving all that meat alone to just walk away when you can make bbq'd beer battered bimbo. a little marinating, a dash of herbs and spices, a few hours on the spit and fun will be had for everyone
"Hey, guys, help me spit-roast my date!"

Either way this turns out, you're coming out ahead.
 
Women will continue seething at me taking them to McDonald’s for the first date, and yet for some reason there will almost always be more dates.


Honestly I am shit testing them, but the shit test is less about gold diggers and more about if they can appreciate my enthusiasm for goyslop.
 
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