Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[CryoRevival #SJ-112]

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'Criminal Lawyer EXPLAINS' - who was the guest?

I dont think this is what Jesse Pinkman meant when selecting a lawyer.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

I don’t know why people think Nick can pull up and stop being a lolcow. Going back to his old streams he was always the same except he had the decency to manage to hide his more egregious traits, but they were there and snuck out on occasion. Gradually he picked up steam, popularity, and felt more comfortable letting his real self out on stream and allowed certain fantasies and desires to play out. There’s never going to be a pull up or return to old day, this was an inevitability.

 

[TertiaryObjective]

I don’t know why people think Nick can pull up and stop being a lolcow.

There’s a difference between can and will. Pulling up for a person in Nick’s current situation would be the easiest thing in the world. He’s still financially sound. He has state enforced sobriety. He still has his wife and kids. He even still has a show that gets about 1000 viewers. Obviously he’s fallen fantastically but a lot of people work hard to get where he is right now. All the pieces are there, even still.

Will he? No, he hasn’t really shown any indication that he will. It’s very unlikely.

 

[Owlbear]

There’s a difference between can and will. Pulling up for a person in Nick’s current situation would be the easiest thing in the world. He’s still financially sound.

It's very hard for rich kids to put down the shovel simply because they have no reason to. Nick's trust fund money guarantees him an unlimited supply of coke for the rest of his life. The same goes for his supply of alcohol. People who are lower down the economic ladder end up going hungry or getting evicted or something similar, and that is viscerally scary. Nick Rekieta will never get evicted. He will never be homeless. He will never be hungry (except by choice because he is anorexic). His drug dealer will never threaten him or beat him up or cut him off for failing to pay. Rekieta can be thrown in jail or told to fix cars, but that is not even close to the same as the feeling of getting beaten up by your drug dealer while being evicted from your rental shack.

 

[SterilizedGlowsticks]

He has state enforced sobriety.

Well... not really. They don't seem to care if he's abusing prescription drugs or legal highs.

 

[DumbDude43]

Didn't see this posted already.
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T | A

he acts like a 14 year old boy who just discovered shock sites on the internet and thinks more edgy = more funny

 

[PlapPlapPlapPlapPlap]

I don't give a rat's ass about Rekieta squandering opportunities or not living up to his potential or whatever. Fuck him, fuck his old content that I don't care to watch, fuck whatever special boy potential he supposedly has. I hate him for two reasons.

1) I hate substance abusers in general. If you can support your own habit, do it in quiet and not inconvenience or take anyone else down with you, then fine whatever, have fun OD'ing. But, if someone has their act together enough to actually be that responsible about their binge drinking or junk snorting or gas huffing, they're probably not the type to get involved with it in the first place. On the whole, substance abusers are public pests and compulsive liars who love to burden everyone around them, and are dangerous when they don't get their way. They're repulsive.

2) This fuck chose to have a family, and now he puts them through hell, and is doing an increasingly poor job at hiding it. He got his wife hooked on drugs just like him and has publicly humiliated her via his streams on a plethora of occasions. Those five kids have been raised around scary, addicted, unpredictable parents and their shady polycule mates in a disgusting house with sex toys strewn about and cocaine apparently accessible enough that one of his daughters tested positive for it. Who knows what other revelations might be coming down the pike. There's no taking this stuff back. You only get one childhood, and this sentient bowel obstruction took it away from those kids, for no reason whatsoever other than he wanted to get high. Therefore, I hate his guts and hope someone punts him into a vat of acid.

 

[SterilizedGlowsticks]

I don't give a rat's ass about Rekieta squandering opportunities or not living up to his potential or whatever. Fuck him, fuck his old content that I don't care to watch, fuck whatever special boy potential he supposedly has. I hate him for two reasons.

Agreed on those points.

A parent who gets high and/or drunk while they have children in their care is an abusive parent, plain and simple. They put themselves above their children. They don't care what happens while they're out of it.

He had the wake up call, and he's *still* trying to get high.

 

[AltisticRight]

I don't give a rat's ass about Rekieta squandering opportunities or not living up to his potential or whatever.

What potential does he even have?
He was at the right place and the right time during the tumultuous time of rampant degeneracy, where fatherless rightoids were looking for a surrogate daddy. He became known by piggybacking off practicing lawyers that know what they're talking about while he drinks and makes lame primary school playground jokes. When he's not doing that, he's evangelising some paedophile child rape chinktoon.

He simply won the lottery. He's a talentless misogynist freak just like Ethan Ralph, who similarly piggybacked off Zidan and Gator. The stars aligned to give these niggers a platform, they squandered it because they're, themselves.

The only potential he has now is for his high potential energy to be converted into kinetic energy.
Basically I'm saying he should jump off a tall building, in a dorknerd way.

 

[Windy Moors]

Does anyone read the gossip entertainment blog "Crazy Days and Nights"?

View attachment 7467664

Archive of June 6 2025 Blind Item:
https://archive.is/TcuvH

Going to engage him in twitter with just this picture in the replies for a while.

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You could have at least archived your faggotry:
X / Archive

real_xtl with replies:
X / Archive

Why are you following Shadman the nonce?
real_xtl following:
X / Archive


(Cannot post an image at the moment but it's there in the archive.)

 

[Artificial Stupidity]

View attachment 7467435

HD is even worse, you can see the ANGER more.

The law & crime watermark makes this so kino


Also Nicks going Bald.
Baldo tuber Nick Cokeita

 

[woodedbag]

Ralph tweeted that he, Rekieta, and Masterson were doing a come back show together. I can't think of a better three person panel to show kids the dangers of throwing your life away to try to make it in the entertainment industry. Could also serve as an educational video to keep kids off drugs that would be more effective than anything I had in high school.

 

[RaptInPlastic]

Also Nicks going Bald.

Now there's a callback and a half. Seems like a thousand years ago.

ETA
we were talking about entertainment lawyers a little while ago and it is pretty interesting to see which one might be about to sink Rekieta's battleship on June 12.
Might be, just a suggestion I am not drip dripping just thinking out loud.

Valentinas co-pro'ed with Gabe Hoffman on An Open Secret and in 2024 went after Turtleboy who of course Rekieta is now doing his gay little dance for attention with. Meaning it's a small world after all for Hoffman, Rekieta and Turtleboy, and the Karen Read trial "coverage" Rekieta is limping thru while sucking up to Turtleboy might explain the Hoffman attack on Rekieta, or possibly might more simply explain why Hoffman looked twice at Rekieta in the first place.

Is the enemy of Turtleboy the the enemy of Rekieta?

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

There's some weird stuff to me about Nick's no tag citation from the week after his plea was entered into court...

Why go to court, at all? I get it, Nick's a retard with "muh ODD"- but in most states (maybe not Minnesota?), that's a Fix-It Ticket, where if you prove you got your vehicle's registration up to date again, you send in proof and it goes away. This is almost certainly cheaper than hiring White to go in for him, even on Zoom, and even with a year of missed registration.

So.... why, Balldo? How could one fight an obvious "welp, you didn't meet the requirements" sort of situation? It's not like they tacked on a speeding violation (which he probably was), or dangerous driving (crossing lines), or intoxicated driving (which he almost certainly was, perhaps through "legal" means). Is it because he has such a bad track record? Is it because of his probation?

One last thing, what the fuck was he doing in Rockville?

He was likely caught at one of these two points, and MN-23 is the route to/from Spicer to St. Cloud:


Was he on his way to/from St. Cloud for something? You wouldn't be going that way to be going to the Twin Cities, unless you had something maybe in the northwest suburbs. Is Wheelchair Johnny hooking him up with some scripts? Or some loser in the area? I joked about Stoney's, but I don't see Nick going there, even when Aaron was still in the qover. (Stoney's is on the old highway road, but there's a bypass now.) Also weird, this was the day Nick was curiously late 1.5 hours for teh Karen Read trial, with Branca....

But the traffic stop occurred at 6:51PM, so after Nick had worked his half day. (Not even a half day, court took a half day, so Nick was on for 4 hours, because the last 1.5 hours was gabbing with Joe "I don't believe in physics" Niermann.)

Also weird, no report of others in the vehicle with him, so he wasn't driving "muh kids". (Weird how that excuse has gone away except for the most stupid of excuses to turn off the camera). Was little Nicky trying to score some uppers so he wouldn't be late for Daddy Branca? Or was it just a Costco run?

Edit to add: if it was a normal shopping trip, you telling me none of the kids wanted to go? And how the hell have they been ferrying kids around, if they don't have current tags on either car? And why didn't the cops hit him on that last year in the bust? It was the same car, and tags were already expired last year.

 

[Melty Butter]

He had the wake up call, and he's *still* trying to get high.

I have so many questions.

Nick - for months - acts out the most on Twitter, and now streaming, on Fridays through Sundays. This includes when "AprilLaw" was involved in the Twitter sperging.

I comforted myself, believing that the kids would go to their grandparents (Shari & Dan) on the weekends in some CPS compromise while he was doing whippits, or fucking April at his parents' (Celeste & Bob) Eagle Lake home. My fanfic? Sure, but the kids are still involved with the original church. I have some receipts on that. Cool, I told myself. The kids are in safe hands, while he's acting retarded and high on the weekends.

So, back to now...

My questions using Nick's words on his stream from yesterday:

• WHY were Nick and Kayla in bed until after 9:00 AM CT with 5 kids in the home? This makes zero sense for anyone who knows kids aged 6-17. (So, fine, I tell myself, maybe no kids were there. Maybe they're with Shari and Dan.)
• WHY did Nick THEN say that Kayla was out "shopping" with the kids? So, that means that they were there, but Kayla and Nick were lying around in bed until after 9 AM CT while Daddy was late to work by almost 90 minutes?
• HOW was Kayla out "shopping" with the kids when she was delivering him a grilled cheese with eggs (morning) and then PB&J (afternoon)?

Call me autistic, but I'm confused and we have reasons to pay attention.

 

[Rei is Shit.]

So far, the comments about Rekeita are hilarious. It reminds me of PPP"s recent quote: "WARNING! WARNING! THE SEKTUR HAS ESCAPED CONTAINMENT! ALL NORMIE ZONES ARE IN DANGER!"

"Seriously, he looks like that neighborhood guy who drives a Camry "

See Nick, you can try to larp as a cool guy by buying a mustang (gay car btw), but even some retirement age hollywood gossip addict wine aunt can see that you are really a camry kinda guy.

 

[Solomon Bundy]

There’s a difference between can and will. Pulling up for a person in Nick’s current situation would be the easiest thing in the world. He’s still financially sound. He has state enforced sobriety. He still has his wife and kids. He even still has a show that gets about 1000 viewers. Obviously he’s fallen fantastically but a lot of people work hard to get where he is right now. All the pieces are there, even still.

Will he? No, he hasn’t really shown any indication that he will. It’s very unlikely.

This is exactly why I lost it a time or two and pleaded in all caps to the vile closet case reading this sentence right now. Hi, Nick! I don't think you can pull up anymore. I think circumstances behind the scenes to which us kiwifags aren't privy have changed. I think you're going to lose everything in due time. All you'll have left is your title of "Chief of Tomfoolery." And someone more worthy will probably steal that, too.

 

[W@rui]

But how does me beating my wife senseless affect you??

I honestly can imagine him asking his kids that.

>"Well I didn't hit you, so why are you upset?"

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Call me autistic, but I'm confused and we have reasons to pay attention.

He's just lying.

 

[Captain Manning]

You are very middle-aged. He's always been a dry boring unfunny wet noodle faggot. His show was the panels. Just like Ralph, they only became entertaining when they started burning bridges, doing drugs on stream AAAND A-HOLLERIN' BISH SOOEY!

Circa 2018-2019 solo Rekieta was actually okay. That was basically what Maddox was, and a pretty decent chunk of Vic. He wasn't doing panel shows when he became "a friend of the Farms." He did fine. Of course, that Rekieta no longer exists. His long-form document review streams from that time had a fanbase (@zyclonPD was a big fan, for example). Even if it was just something to put on in the background.

You are correct that the panel shows surrounding Depp and Rittenhouse are where he started doing phenomenally well, but some of us have been following him for longer than that.

The guy changed. He went mask off. He's brain damaged, etc.. 2018-2019 solo Rekieta ain't what you see here. The difference is striking. Old solo Rekieta gained subs. This one is losing them.