Victor Markhoff / Ana Victoria Markhoff / vvictorman_uel - Powerchair faker pooner, has every illness, allergic to Krebs cycle, bed mayo enjoyer, kicked out of house and mental hospital, constant ebeggar, applesauce heiress paid to yeet her teets

When she talks about her Benadryl “suicide attempt” she says in the same sentence that she was just trying to render herself unconscious for 3 days so she didn’t have to deal with life.

Doesn’t sound like a suicide attempt as much as just trying to drug herself unconscious for a while, but she got really sick and uncomfortable instead of unconscious, so went for medical help and retconned it into a suicide attempt.

“Most suicide attempts are impulsive” maybe in florid BPD cases like her, where impulsive Benadryl comas get retconned into suicide attempts. Plenty of actual suicides are planned out and prepared for, and done deliberately and intentionally.
 
The historical parallels are also interesting.

She’s like straight out of Victorian era salon, where the poor, sickly heiress gets fainting spells and needs to spend every autumn taking water, because the air in the city is making her ill.
She wants to quite literally be the 21st century version of a Victorian invalid who is prescribed a "rest cure", yet she has no idea.
 
She's been hospitalized at least twice for suicide attempts. The one in the Fall of 2018 was when she infamously had a mental breakdown after meditating:
Incidentally, for those who are better at the timeline, would this have been her first or second year at NYU? I forget if she graduated high school in the spring of 2017 or 2018. If it was 2018, it cracks me the fuck up that even in her very first semester of college, she was already in the habit of dipping out to vacation in the hospital.
 
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YOU DON’T NEED AN ACCESSIBLE APARTMENT, VICKY!

I really hope one of those institutions that kill people step up to the plate and solve this
”dead end” conundrum for her soon.
 
Incidentally, for those who are better at the timeline, would this have been her first or second year at NYU? I forget if she graduated high school in the spring of 2017 or 2018. If it was 2018, it cracks me the fuck up that even in her very first semester of college, she was already in the habit of dipping out to vacation in the hospital.
I think she graduated in spring of 2017, right around when she had the huge falling out with her high school friends and her parents. She mentions her former friends ignoring her at graduation in one of the tweets where she talks about it.

But she didn't seem to start college until the spring semester of 2018. No idea where she was for the rest of 2017.
 
She wants to quite literally be the 21st century version of a Victorian invalid who is prescribed a "rest cure", yet she has no idea.

“My lady! Please calm yourself! Your weak heart, remember? Tis just a few days ago that the doctor prescribed a fortnight of bed rest for your nerves! Would you like me to fetch you your opium tincture?”

.

“Most suicide attempts are impulsive” maybe in florid BPD cases like her, where impulsive Benadryl comas get retconned into suicide attempts. Plenty of actual suicides are planned out and prepared for, and done deliberately and intentionally.
Just goes to show that she has zero idea of what real depression looks like. The kind where you look forward to the sweet release of death for months or years, but are held back by a guilty conscience over letting people down. And when you finally can’t take it anymore, plan it like a housewife would plan a vacation.
 
Just goes to show that she has zero idea of what real depression looks like. The kind where you look forward to the sweet release of death for months or years, but are held back by a guilty conscience over letting people down. And when you finally can’t take it anymore, plan it like a housewife would plan a vacation.
Lemme follow your needs!
 
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Incidentally, for those who are better at the timeline, would this have been her first or second year at NYU? I forget if she graduated high school in the spring of 2017 or 2018. If it was 2018, it cracks me the fuck up that even in her very first semester of college, she was already in the habit of dipping out to vacation in the hospital.
For some reason I thought she started college in 2018, but apparently it was actually Fall of 2016:
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Unless she was just lying here, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Confusing. And almost impressive how she's been attending college for so long without managing to get any degree.
 
But she didn't seem to start college until the spring semester of 2018. No idea where she was for the rest of 2017.
She claims to have left her home somewhere in that back half of 2017 time frame to escape her parents' transphobic abuse, but yeah, likewise I'm fuzzy on where she went (if she actually went anywhere, usual caveats apply) until early 2018 when she's in New York.
 
LMAO! Fucking BENADRYL?!
It can cause arrhythmias and seizures, which are not usually fatal but give you a better shot at yeeting off this mortal coil than a lot of things. But at her body weight she would have to take more than 2 grams, or thereabouts. That is a fuckton of 50 mg caps.
I'm surprised she chose Benadryl since it's well-known the Hatman is Transphobic at high doses.

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A friend of mine in college tried to off himself with nearly an entire bottle of Unisom, an OTC sleep aid antihistamine that is similar to Bennys. I won't detail the circumstances too much, but he hallucinated his ASS off all night, mostly really strange, benign things - like seeing mist coming out from under doorways and repeatedly turning electronics on and off because he kept thinking they were on. But he eventually just slept for like 18 hours felt like he was hungover the next day)
 
Just goes to show that she has zero idea of what real depression looks like. The kind where you look forward to the sweet release of death for months or years, but are held back by a guilty conscience over letting people down. And when you finally can’t take it anymore, plan it like a housewife would plan a vacation.
A large portion of completed suicides aren't among people who were in a long major depressive episode leading up to it. Successful suicide isn't some barometer for how objectively depressed and suffering someone was.

A portion of suicides have no diagnosable mental health issue, even in retrospect, but have debt or interpersonal conflict leading up to it. Another portion have bipolar disorder and are having manic/mixed symptoms at the time of the act, leading to a violently impulsive act. Addicts also make up a large portion of successful suicides. Schizophrenics kill themselves a bunch.

Though they have a very low "attempt" to success rate, don't forget that borderlines do actually end up killing themselves at a decently high rate.

I think this thread keeps basically saying that the noble MDD sufferer who suffers so much and then make a careful plan to shoot himself after leaving a note is so valiant and strong. He's more valiant than Vicky (who isn't), but there's not something special or cool about being depressed.
 
A large portion of completed suicides aren't among people who were in a long major depressive episode leading up to it. Successful suicide isn't some barometer for how objectively depressed and suffering someone was.

A portion of suicides have no diagnosable mental health issue, even in retrospect, but have debt or interpersonal conflict leading up to it. Another portion have bipolar disorder and are having manic/mixed symptoms at the time of the act, leading to a violently impulsive act. Addicts also make up a large portion of successful suicides. Schizophrenics kill themselves a bunch.

Though they have a very low "attempt" to success rate, don't forget that borderlines do actually end up killing themselves at a decently high rate.

I think this thread keeps basically saying that the noble MDD sufferer who suffers so much and then make a careful plan to shoot himself after leaving a note is so valiant and strong. He's more valiant than Vicky (who isn't), but there's not something special or cool about being depressed.
On a numbers level, the majority of attempts are impulsive (less than an hour from decision to action was the largest clump in the study I read). I was surprised when I first learned this, but it makes more sense when you recall that attempts greatly outnumber completed suicides. And yeah, categories other than MDD tend to be the impulsive ones- BPD being up there, with suicide attempt rates that make the major mood disorders blush. And manic phase people tend to act impulsively and more effectively due to the loosened inhibitions, especially if you add alcohol or anything else.

But yeah the majority of attempts are moments of dumb impulsivity. Which should be sort of humbling, really- everyone is capable of a moment of dumb impulsivity under the right circumstances.
 
borderlines do actually end up killing themselves at a decently high rate.
If I recall correctly, people with BPD are 8-10% likely to die by suicide, which doesn't sound very high, but when you consider suicide rates across the general population, it's not great. But it's just an estimate; this stuff is hard to quantify at best, impossible at worst. BPD is just our best attempt to categorize a particular type of cray and it's not at all perfect.
But yeah the majority of attempts are moments of dumb impulsivity. Which should be sort of humbling, really- everyone is capable of a moment of dumb impulsivity under the right circumstances.
Suicide is, above all else, a time-sensitive crisis. Get the person through the couple of hours or whatever of ACTIVE suicidality and you can often stop the whole thing. Many people who kill themselves probably did not really *want* to die outside of an impulsive brain thunderstorm that can and will pass with the right help. Didn't mean to go all after school special, but I think this info is often unknown and potentially life-saving.
 
If I recall correctly, people with BPD are 8-10% likely to die by suicide, which doesn't sound very high, but when you consider suicide rates across the general population, it's not great. But it's just an estimate; this stuff is hard to quantify at best, impossible at worst. BPD is just our best attempt to categorize a particular type of cray and it's not at all perfect.
That's correct for completed suicides, according to anything I have read. For attempts though, it's admittedly hard to estimate with them because they are so given to parasuicidal behavior, but the paper I saw most recently said around 70% of them make at least one attempt. But at what point does the slicey-dicey over superficial veins or "taking a box of Benadryl to sleep for 3 days" cross over from efforts to relieve distress/seek attention to an "attempt" however ineffectual? Impossible to say definitively.
 
I've read some stuff on cross cultural psychiatry and how, say, bulimia basically appeared from scratch in the 80s, but genuine anorexia has existed for centuries. Manic depression and melancholic depression show up throughout history, but nobody thought shit life syndrome was clinical until Prozac.

So, what did BPD look like pre-Tumblr? Were they threatening suicide and getting locked up on a regular basis? Did they end up at freudian analysts? Did that help?
Most of Freud and Jung's patients were rich young women and there's a lot in their work that correlates to what we now know about bpd - Freud invented the oedipus and electra complexes to explain how his patients were reporting high levels of sexual abuse by their wealthy and influential fathers, grandfathers or uncles; he originally published his findings that took these claims seriously but retracted it after severe backlash. BPD is often comorbid with severe childhood abuse or adverse experiences, although there is also a big genetic component so I would think childhood abuse increases the severity of an inherent tendency rather than causing it. BPD has a lot of narcissistic overlap and would also be present in the male relatives and be a potentially useful trait in ascending the social order (healthy narcissism is a concept from the 1970s, everyone needs to have some self-valuing instinct after all).
Jung talked about suicide quite a lot and while he generally tried to analyse the death urge into being symbolic for some other more useful feeling he did have patients where he 'allowed' them to commit suicide because he felt like their death urge was inevitable anyway.
In the more reflective letter of July 25, 1946, addressed to his acquaintance Dr. Eleanor Bertine, however, he appears to adopt an almost fatalistic attitude toward suicide—“I’m convinced that if anybody has it in himself to commit suicide, then practically the whole of his being is going that way”—and arguing against interference or prevention.

The asylum system wasn’t nearly as bad as it was made out to be.

They used one particularly terrible institution as an example of all of them, and that’s how the campaign against mental asylums got rolling. (A journalist wrote an expose working at the worst of the worst.)

Unfortunately, this happened at a time where Republicans were rallying against big government and the left was taken ill by a particularly delusional idea: That mentally ill people were made WORSE by DA SYSTEM, and if left to their own devices and some meditation and shit, they’d get magically better.

So for both the left and the right the idea that if we just close all these big, mean asylums down and leave mental healthcare to the community, felt like a smashing good plan.

It’s a shame, because someone like Victoria would be ideally suited for an asylum. No responsibility, no worries. Just nurses taking care of her, while she scribbles and draws all day.



Fucking X to doubt. Even if we assume that some evil doctor was plotting to kill her, I very strongly doubt she has enough friends to “sit and watch over her” and make sure he doesn’t kill her.

Gee… It kinda sounds like something cooked up by someone who has very little experience with visiting hours at hospitals.
I think trying to do something about the worst of a system is commendable, but the whole asylum system was done away with basically from the same instinct that RFK jr is displaying now; the money that went on funding them could be absorbed by the elites and care in the community by families could take over instead. Those who can't be cared for at home can be exploited in essentially slave labour. Asylums and prisons in the UK did oak picking and menial seamstress work. It's about finding a nice excuse for the state not to have to pay, the left did not actually believe that. Nobody believes that self-care and meditation and tarot is fixing shit now, it's just an excuse to buy and sell more cheap shit.

I think Vicki would completely shape up if an opportunity befitting her self-perceived status came along tomorrow, and in an asylum setting she would only want to do whatever the most privileged make work is with the other patients being her new competition. She has a lot of ED traits and anachans are competing with each other constantly, look up Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo on the Wicked filmset for an example and how thin they got.

Vicki also has lots of BPD traits and BPDs also often try and socially dominate; they don't just skinwalk their favourite people they try and learn more about their traits or hobbies to be better at it than them; or to replace that person's standing in a social group, copying that person's superficial attributes because they don't understand why the group actually tolerates that person and people don't tolerate them. If enabled they will just keep doing it until they become the focus and queen bee of the group.

IMO bpd is narcissism but bpds don't have a fixed sense of self and narcissists do; I think Vicki does have a weak but fixed sense of self because while she keeps looking for different diagnoses, that's to justify not working, she's not getting into lifestyle trends like tattoos or veganism or hunting, aside from trans but she's not even consistent about that. She's lazy but relatively unimpulsive, she doesn't seem to constantly shop on temu or get tattoos or change majors. She retroactively makes shallow connections seem deep, she isn't actually trying to mirror people beyond the bare minimum to gain credibility.

I do think her parents fucked up or are fucked up in some way to have two troon kids, not sure how though. Might just be generically neglectful rich that is usually made up for by having a nanny, but Vicki has never mentioned having one.

tl;dr I don't think putting Vicki in an asylum would fix shit
 
She doesn't change majors because she hasn't been able to pass a single college class. Can't change majors when your entire college career is about waving a doctor's note about to extend your academic probation.
She has basically taken out loans to spend them on takeout. She won't get a degree, even a garbage one, from it. She has zero impulse control which she talks extensively about. She "can't" focus on anything that's a little harder than high school material (which her tutors forced her to focus on under parental supervision).
She admits she can walk but she "can't" move around in a regular wheelchair meaning she "can't" do any basic physical exercise either. Her entire adult life has been about avoiding any slight short-term discomfort even if it leads to major FAFO later on(not her first "homeless" rodeo). She's not vegan or anorexic because the idea of any kind of dietary restriction makes her screech and shit herself. Can't be a vegan when you live off burgers and fries.
Ariana Grande, vapid Tic Tockers, depressed house wives and gothic Ophelia girls may be a lot of (bad) things but they're not this
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I don't think she's even a typical hysterical female Munchie. A
Had a glance at her reddit account and there's none of the usual obsession with death, blood, calories, self-harm etc. She's obsessed with Nintendo and Netflix. Her cripple act seems to be a vehicle to her dream of NEETdom, not the goal itself. That's more of a strategic malingerer.
 
I don't think she's even a typical hysterical female Munchie. A
Had a glance at her reddit account and there's none of the usual obsession with death, blood, calories, self-harm etc. She's obsessed with Nintendo and Netflix. Her cripple act seems to be a vehicle to her dream of NEETdom, not the goal itself. That's more of a strategic malingerer.
And dare I say she has even worse people skills than the average BPD.

I'm not at all sold on childhood trauma with her. The low end estimate for BPD, even, is only 30% overlap with abuse. That means the majority get that way from some other cause. Even the multiple troons in the house- might be bad or stupid parents, but also might be unlucky parents and a daughter who is bent on corrupting her siblings. We know she is fixated on getting to her sister. Maybe she already got to her brother.

Might be looking at something more like an antisocial BPD rather than the more common histrionic type.
 
I'm not at all sold on childhood trauma with her. The low end estimate for BPD, even, is only 30% overlap with abuse.
A lot of people want BPD personalities to have an abusive background because they can't face the fact women can just be horrible. If women behave badly, it *must* be for some reason, right? But I think Vicky is just a terrible person - there's no reason other than she's horrible. She's not a victim, she's just a shitty human being.
 
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