- Joined
- Jul 14, 2016
Safe to say that GreenHippo101 is 100% a SolidMario sock.
Cultcow Thomas Lloyd / SolidMario / LinkSparrow / DarthChaos / Emperorlukesolo / + many more - The misogynist who wants to bang Bart Simpson & murder BlackBusterCritic
- Thread starter slow-in-the-mind
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- Joined
- Feb 11, 2017
I unleash me 'tism upon him!
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- Feb 13, 2017
This guy must think he's Mick Foley or something with all the sockpuppet accountsalter-egos. At least the Butters avatars fit him very well.
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- Feb 10, 2017
I laughed way too hard at the brick to the nards partAll right. I've been holding this one in reserve for a bit for a few reasons, which I'll get into below. Veterans of the Farms will no doubt be familiar with my "steps to stop being a lolcow" guide, one piece of which was this thing I dropped when SolidMario was in full-fledged DELETE EVERYTHING mode on Lolcow Wiki.
I think on some level, SolidMario "gets" why he's the subject of ridicule, and understands all-too-well why he's basically a laughingstock.
Apparently he thought this too, because he started a conversation and invited me into it. The conversation seemed to be an admission that I may have had a point with my earlier post, and he asked me for advice.
Things immediately take a turn for the surreal, however, when I noticed the conversation's participants:
I need to point out that when I made the post I did, I did so with the full foreknowledge that SolidMario and DarthChaos were the same person. This was pretty obvious from the moment that both handles tried to do the exact same edits to the Wiki, and that was some time before he got caught pulling a Brianna Wu and posting with the wrong account.
Let us begin, then, and descend into one man's epic journey to find himself.
Things lead off pretty straightforwardly. Again, DarthChaos seems to be doing the "good cop" routine here, but he also seems to show something resembling legitimate contrition for the first time.... Well, ever. I was going to originally ask why he decided to invite his sock into the conversation, but then I decided against it, thinking:
"You know what? Fuck it, I want to see where he's going with this."
We see in pretty short order what this is actually about, because SolidMario is about as subtle as Chris when it comes to getting across what he wants, and thinks that apparently, I'm the best way to deal with this. Note that this is after I had stepped down from staffing, so in a customary text-wall explaining what he needs to do to stop being covered (point of emphasis circled), I state I'd have to clear any big editing of his article with the staff, which isn't entirely accurate, but again, I wanted to see where he's going with this.
So I play the good host, feign ignorance that Darth and SolidMario are the same person, and lead with an honest response:
By this point he had sustained his thread for 192 pages, and kept making it really obvious that he was not going to let this go, and definitely wasn't about to accept culpability for his issues. @WeeGee had been keeping me abreast of his ongoing sock attacks on the Wiki as well, so I knew that while he had a short cool-off period during the point I gave him his advice, he would be back soon.
I didn't need to wait long.
In response to this, I dropped a second textwall where I explained that his behavior sort of reminded me of Jay Geis, another Lolcow we covered, years ago.
For the uninitiated: Jay was a terrible artist with fucked-up fetishes who did a lot of terrible shit to people and had shown signs of being a psychopath. Jay was enough of a cow to sustain his own subforum; his was a glorious trainwreck featuring autism, terrible artwork, and Dynastia leading a man into sexual deviancy. It ended with him faking his own death to escape the Farms.
Good times.
I warned SolidMario that disengagement was the only way he was going to get anywhere again.
SolidMario responded thusly:
By this point he had just broken cloak because his socks kept getting found out and his alt accounts were quickly rediscovered because he's about as subtle as a brick to the nards. I was aware he was at least trying to keep his head down, but the guy had no patience, and, exactly like I was expecting, he screwed up.
This would also be the conversation that WeeGee noted he was having in this post, by the way.
Like a prequel where you want things to work out but you just know shit's going to go tits-up for the main character, the hope spot provided for SolidMario seemingly getting it only serves to drive home the fail later.
I almost get the feeling from this entire exchange that SolidMario sort of needs DarthChaos in a way; his own desperate attempt to keep a check on his behavior. It's actually kind of fascinating to see in action, and part of me wanted to yell "Kiss her, you fool!" throughout the exchange.
Would their relationship last?
Would DarthChaos be able to curb SolidMario's tendencies?
How long before @BOLDYSPICY! drew porn of the pair?
There are no words, however, for what follows:
SolidMario proceeds to get into a serious discussion with himself via the medium of DarthChaos.
This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the funniest and most surreal things I've seen in a conversation window since the AutisticDragonkin conversation chain wherein he invited every staff member to the conversation. But SolidMario seemed determined for once. He had a goal in sight, and he was going to strive for it.
Could he do it?
Of fucking course not, idiot. You're in this fucking thread. You saw Page 195. You know where this goes.
SolidMario uncloaks, and the thread descends into chaos again.
This is accompanied with more Wiki edit attempts.
I meant what I said here. I really can't blame a sockpuppet for the failures of the person it's socking for.
Now, normally, I make it a point to not breach convo privacy unless necessary: Suicide threats, danger to the Farms, that sort of shit. On the other hand, SolidMario not only has done the exact opposite of what fucking half of this forum's regulars has expressly told him to do as far as legit advice is concerned, but he has only stepped up his attempts here in his thread in the last two weeks,and showed he did this in bad faith from the get-go.
As such, I have no qualms about sharing this font of hilarity with all of you.
It's not all predictable disappointment: That conversation with himself was fucking magical, and SolidMario was legitimately and unironically entertaining throughout the entire exchange. I hope you all enjoyed it.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2014
I wonder how raping yourself would feel like.
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- Jun 15, 2014
Isn't that called involuntary masturbation? Or maybe something involving one of those freaky animal dildos?
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- Nov 10, 2016
Or an angry, horny clone.
But Ryan, where art thou? I can't wait for next season of "To Troll a Predator" to start.
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- Feb 11, 2017
Same. I enjoy partaking in said seasons.
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- Jan 27, 2014
As much fun as it is to read 265 pages of "YOUR FAG!", I want to ask some serious questions.
@SolidMario / @DarthChaos / Ryan, I actually had to look up "Goosfraba," not realizing it was an Anger Management reference. But did you know that "Goosfraba" is a word that Eskimos use when they're having sex? If I didn't know better, I'd say @DarthChaos was trying to "comfort" you with sex.
Except I do know better, & you & @DarthChaos are the same person. So I guess you fap to this thread?
You say that your Bart drawings are "artistic nudity," & totally not a fetish. Can you explain what's going on in this picture, then? I don't understand.
What do you plan on doing with your life? Are you going to work at Panera forever?
EDIT: Wait, Ryan got fired? When did that happen?
@SolidMario / @DarthChaos / Ryan, I actually had to look up "Goosfraba," not realizing it was an Anger Management reference. But did you know that "Goosfraba" is a word that Eskimos use when they're having sex? If I didn't know better, I'd say @DarthChaos was trying to "comfort" you with sex.
Except I do know better, & you & @DarthChaos are the same person. So I guess you fap to this thread?
You say that your Bart drawings are "artistic nudity," & totally not a fetish. Can you explain what's going on in this picture, then? I don't understand.
What do you plan on doing with your life? Are you going to work at Panera forever?
EDIT: Wait, Ryan got fired? When did that happen?
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- Feb 20, 2017
Unfortunately, asking legitimate questions does not illicit a response from him that isn't absurd.
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- Jul 14, 2016
I don't know about you guys but I'm still waiting on the details of the police report.
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- Jan 9, 2017
Man, this poor guy is busting his ass at Harvard but unfortunately his name is also Ryan Loomis, unlucky guy. He probably has an IQ 3 or 4 times what @SolidMario has.
http://astronomy.fas.harvard.edu/people/ryan-loomis
http://astronomy.fas.harvard.edu/people/ryan-loomis
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- Oct 1, 2013
I would love to know too, but remember this is @SolidMario/@DarthChaos we're talking about. Getting a good answer from him is like trying to get him from staying off the internet for long periods of time. It will never happen.
Also, IIRC, I think he tried defending that picture as Fry and Bart just "having fun together".
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- Jul 14, 2016
It's really the questionable nature of his so called art (as it's mostly just crappy MS Paint edits of stills from the show). He knows it's creepy, other wise he wouldn't have gone on a bing to bury everything about him and everything he did.
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- Aug 13, 2016
I'm pretty sure the last thing he needs to worry about is changing his name because some fat retard who ships Bart Simpson and Fry thought he could talk us out of making fun of him.
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- Feb 20, 2017
@SolidMario we all know you lurk. We're just hoping you might stop being a dumb bastard, and before you take our advice of not having an internet presence, to actually own up to you making disgusting porn and answering some of our reasonable questions. I'll ask again, if you're listening: were you bullied in high school?
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- Jul 4, 2014
He hasn't logged in almost 24 hours, he might be going for a record.
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- Feb 20, 2017
Bless him, I still hope he comes here and answers some questions that aren't too far fetched, though. He still obviously lurks here, no matter his two main accounts. He may as well answer basic shit for us.
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- Jul 14, 2016
He must not realize that owning up and being honest will actually earn him more respect, it wont get the thread taken down, but we'll have good reason to be a bit more respectful.
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- Aug 5, 2015
"Solid... I... I... don't understand... What is this stuff?!"
"Calm down Bart, it's fine. It's just showing what a big boy you've become."
"It feels weird... why has this never happened to me before?"
"Well Bart nobody bothered to show you how it's done. Even though they should've. All the boys at your school are doing it do!"
"But my stomach feels weird now... I don't think we should be doing this..."
"Shhh... shhh... just relax Bart... now I'll help you clean your hand... ever know how good this stuff taste, Bart?"
"Calm down Bart, it's fine. It's just showing what a big boy you've become."
"It feels weird... why has this never happened to me before?"
"Well Bart nobody bothered to show you how it's done. Even though they should've. All the boys at your school are doing it do!"
"But my stomach feels weird now... I don't think we should be doing this..."
"Shhh... shhh... just relax Bart... now I'll help you clean your hand... ever know how good this stuff taste, Bart?"
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