Cultcow Thomas Lloyd / SolidMario / LinkSparrow / DarthChaos / Emperorlukesolo / + many more - The misogynist who wants to bang Bart Simpson & murder BlackBusterCritic

[WeeGee]

As of the very second I post this, he's online right now with both accounts, despite the whole "we gotta leave this dreaded place now!" thing he did last night.

 

[Quijibo69]

I think this site is slowing down right now because he's on it too much.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

I think this site is slowing down right now because he's on it too much.

I thought it was drama on the Georgia Dickerson thread now people are filing police reports for animal abuse.

 

[Calooby]

I'm just waiting for the next DA sock to be available to shit up.

 

[Jaimas]

All right. I've been holding this one in reserve for a bit for a few reasons, which I'll get into below. Veterans of the Farms will no doubt be familiar with my "steps to stop being a lolcow" guide, one piece of which was this thing I dropped when SolidMario was in full-fledged DELETE EVERYTHING mode on Lolcow Wiki.

I think on some level, SolidMario "gets" why he's the subject of ridicule, and understands all-too-well why he's basically a laughingstock.

Apparently he thought this too, because he started a conversation and invited me into it. The conversation seemed to be an admission that I may have had a point with my earlier post, and he asked me for advice.

Things immediately take a turn for the surreal, however, when I noticed the conversation's participants:

I need to point out that when I made the post I did, I did so with the full foreknowledge that SolidMario and DarthChaos were the same person. This was pretty obvious from the moment that both handles tried to do the exact same edits to the Wiki, and that was some time before he got caught pulling a Brianna Wu and posting with the wrong account.

Let us begin, then, and descend into one man's epic journey to find himself.

Spoiler: SolidMario's Glorious One-Man Show

Things lead off pretty straightforwardly. Again, DarthChaos seems to be doing the "good cop" routine here, but he also seems to show something resembling legitimate contrition for the first time.... Well, ever. I was going to originally ask why he decided to invite his sock into the conversation, but then I decided against it, thinking:

"You know what? Fuck it, I want to see where he's going with this."

We see in pretty short order what this is actually about, because SolidMario is about as subtle as Chris when it comes to getting across what he wants, and thinks that apparently, I'm the best way to deal with this. Note that this is after I had stepped down from staffing, so in a customary text-wall explaining what he needs to do to stop being covered (point of emphasis circled), I state I'd have to clear any big editing of his article with the staff, which isn't entirely accurate, but again, I wanted to see where he's going with this.

So I play the good host, feign ignorance that Darth and SolidMario are the same person, and lead with an honest response:

By this point he had sustained his thread for 192 pages, and kept making it really obvious that he was not going to let this go, and definitely wasn't about to accept culpability for his issues. @WeeGee had been keeping me abreast of his ongoing sock attacks on the Wiki as well, so I knew that while he had a short cool-off period during the point I gave him his advice, he would be back soon.

I didn't need to wait long.

In response to this, I dropped a second textwall where I explained that his behavior sort of reminded me of Jay Geis, another Lolcow we covered, years ago.

Spoiler: Jay Geis

For the uninitiated: Jay was a terrible artist with fucked-up fetishes who did a lot of terrible shit to people and had shown signs of being a psychopath. Jay was enough of a cow to sustain his own subforum; his was a glorious trainwreck featuring autism, terrible artwork, and Dynastia leading a man into sexual deviancy. It ended with him faking his own death to escape the Farms.

Good times.

I warned SolidMario that disengagement was the only way he was going to get anywhere again.
SolidMario responded thusly:

By this point he had just broken cloak because his socks kept getting found out and his alt accounts were quickly rediscovered because he's about as subtle as a brick to the nards. I was aware he was at least trying to keep his head down, but the guy had no patience, and, exactly like I was expecting, he screwed up.

This would also be the conversation that WeeGee noted he was having in this post, by the way.

Like a prequel where you want things to work out but you just know shit's going to go tits-up for the main character, the hope spot provided for SolidMario seemingly getting it only serves to drive home the fail later.

I almost get the feeling from this entire exchange that SolidMario sort of needs DarthChaos in a way; his own desperate attempt to keep a check on his behavior. It's actually kind of fascinating to see in action, and part of me wanted to yell "Kiss her, you fool!" throughout the exchange.

Would their relationship last?
Would DarthChaos be able to curb SolidMario's tendencies?
How long before @BOLDYSPICY! drew porn of the pair?

There are no words, however, for what follows:
SolidMario proceeds to get into a serious discussion with himself via the medium of DarthChaos.

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the funniest and most surreal things I've seen in a conversation window since the AutisticDragonkin conversation chain wherein he invited every staff member to the conversation. But SolidMario seemed determined for once. He had a goal in sight, and he was going to strive for it.

Could he do it?

Of fucking course not, idiot. You're in this fucking thread. You saw Page 195. You know where this goes.
SolidMario uncloaks, and the thread descends into chaos again.
This is accompanied with more Wiki edit attempts.

I meant what I said here. I really can't blame a sockpuppet for the failures of the person it's socking for.

Now, normally, I make it a point to not breach convo privacy unless necessary: Suicide threats, danger to the Farms, that sort of shit. On the other hand, SolidMario not only has done the exact opposite of what fucking half of this forum's regulars has expressly told him to do as far as legit advice is concerned, but he has only stepped up his attempts here in his thread in the last two weeks,and showed he did this in bad faith from the get-go.

As such, I have no qualms about sharing this font of hilarity with all of you.

It's not all predictable disappointment: That conversation with himself was fucking magical, and SolidMario was legitimately and unironically entertaining throughout the entire exchange. I hope you all enjoyed it.

 

[Ser Weeaboo]

All right. I've been holding this one in reserve for a bit for a few reasons, which I'll get into below. Veterans of the Farms will no doubt be familiar with my "steps to stop being a lolcow" guide, one piece of which was this thing I dropped when SolidMario was in full-fledged DELETE EVERYTHING mode on Lolcow Wiki.

I think on some level, SolidMario "gets" why he's the subject of ridicule, and understands all-too-well why he's basically a laughingstock.

Apparently he thought this too, because he started a conversation and invited me into it. The conversation seemed to be an admission that I may have had a point with my earlier post, and he asked me for advice.

Things immediately take a turn for the surreal, however, when I noticed the conversation's participants:

I need to point out that when I made the post I did, I did so with the full foreknowledge that SolidMario and DarthChaos were the same person. This was pretty obvious from the moment that both handles tried to do the exact same edits to the Wiki, and that was some time before he got caught pulling a Brianna Wu and posting with the wrong account.

Let us begin, then, and descend into one man's epic journey to find himself.

Spoiler: SolidMario's Glorious One-Man Show

Things lead off pretty straightforwardly. Again, DarthChaos seems to be doing the "good cop" routine here, but he also seems to show something resembling legitimate contrition for the first time.... Well, ever. I was going to originally ask why he decided to invite his sock into the conversation, but then I decided against it, thinking:

"You know what? Fuck it, I want to see where he's going with this."

We see in pretty short order what this is actually about, because SolidMario is about as subtle as Chris when it comes to getting across what he wants, and thinks that apparently, I'm the best way to deal with this. Note that this is after I had stepped down from staffing, so in a customary text-wall explaining what he needs to do to stop being covered (point of emphasis circled), I state I'd have to clear any big editing of his article with the staff, which isn't entirely accurate, but again, I wanted to see where he's going with this.

So I play the good host, feign ignorance that Darth and SolidMario are the same person, and lead with an honest response:

By this point he had sustained his thread for 192 pages, and kept making it really obvious that he was not going to let this go, and definitely wasn't about to accept culpability for his issues. @WeeGee had been keeping me abreast of his ongoing sock attacks on the Wiki as well, so I knew that while he had a short cool-off period during the point I gave him his advice, he would be back soon.

I didn't need to wait long.

In response to this, I dropped a second textwall where I explained that his behavior sort of reminded me of Jay Geis, another Lolcow we covered, years ago.

Spoiler: Jay Geis

For the uninitiated: Jay was a terrible artist with fucked-up fetishes who did a lot of terrible shit to people and had shown signs of being a psychopath. Jay was enough of a cow to sustain his own subforum; his was a glorious trainwreck featuring autism, terrible artwork, and Dynastia leading a man into sexual deviancy. It ended with him faking his own death to escape the Farms.

Good times.

I warned SolidMario that disengagement was the only way he was going to get anywhere again.
SolidMario responded thusly:

By this point he had just broken cloak because his socks kept getting found out and his alt accounts were quickly rediscovered because he's about as subtle as a brick to the nards. I was aware he was at least trying to keep his head down, but the guy had no patience, and, exactly like I was expecting, he screwed up.

This would also be the conversation that WeeGee noted he was having in this post, by the way.

Like a prequel where you want things to work out but you just know shit's going to go tits-up for the main character, the hope spot provided for SolidMario seemingly getting it only serves to drive home the fail later.

I almost get the feeling from this entire exchange that SolidMario sort of needs DarthChaos in a way; his own desperate attempt to keep a check on his behavior. It's actually kind of fascinating to see in action, and part of me wanted to yell "Kiss her, you fool!" throughout the exchange.

Would their relationship last?
Would DarthChaos be able to curb SolidMario's tendencies?
How long before @BOLDYSPICY! drew porn of the pair?

There are no words, however, for what follows:
SolidMario proceeds to get into a serious discussion with himself via the medium of DarthChaos.

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the funniest and most surreal things I've seen in a conversation window since the AutisticDragonkin conversation chain wherein he invited every staff member to the conversation. But SolidMario seemed determined for once. He had a goal in sight, and he was going to strive for it.

Could he do it?

Of fucking course not, idiot. You're in this fucking thread. You saw Page 195. You know where this goes.
SolidMario uncloaks, and the thread descends into chaos again.
This is accompanied with more Wiki edit attempts.

I meant what I said here. I really can't blame a sockpuppet for the failures of the person it's socking for.

Now, normally, I make it a point to not breach convo privacy unless necessary: Suicide threats, danger to the Farms, that sort of shit. On the other hand, SolidMario not only has done the exact opposite of what fucking half of this forum's regulars has expressly told him to do, but he's only stepped up his attempts here in his thread in the last two weeks, he's kind of showed he did this in bad faith from the get-go, and as such, I have no qualms about sharing this font of hilarity with all of you.

It's not all predictable disappointment: That conversation with himself was fucking magical, and SolidMario was legitimately and unironically entertaining throughout the entire exchange. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Holy shit, the :autism: is palpable here.
Also I kept reading all his messages in Butters' voice.

 

[TheImportantFart]

All right. I've been holding this one in reserve for a bit for a few reasons, which I'll get into below. Veterans of the Farms will no doubt be familiar with my "steps to stop being a lolcow" guide, one piece of which was this thing I dropped when SolidMario was in full-fledged DELETE EVERYTHING mode on Lolcow Wiki.

I think on some level, SolidMario "gets" why he's the subject of ridicule, and understands all-too-well why he's basically a laughingstock.

Apparently he thought this too, because he started a conversation and invited me into it. The conversation seemed to be an admission that I may have had a point with my earlier post, and he asked me for advice.

Things immediately take a turn for the surreal, however, when I noticed the conversation's participants:

I need to point out that when I made the post I did, I did so with the full foreknowledge that SolidMario and DarthChaos were the same person. This was pretty obvious from the moment that both handles tried to do the exact same edits to the Wiki, and that was some time before he got caught pulling a Brianna Wu and posting with the wrong account.

Let us begin, then, and descend into one man's epic journey to find himself.

Spoiler: SolidMario's Glorious One-Man Show

Things lead off pretty straightforwardly. Again, DarthChaos seems to be doing the "good cop" routine here, but he also seems to show something resembling legitimate contrition for the first time.... Well, ever. I was going to originally ask why he decided to invite his sock into the conversation, but then I decided against it, thinking:

"You know what? Fuck it, I want to see where he's going with this."

We see in pretty short order what this is actually about, because SolidMario is about as subtle as Chris when it comes to getting across what he wants, and thinks that apparently, I'm the best way to deal with this. Note that this is after I had stepped down from staffing, so in a customary text-wall explaining what he needs to do to stop being covered (point of emphasis circled), I state I'd have to clear any big editing of his article with the staff, which isn't entirely accurate, but again, I wanted to see where he's going with this.

So I play the good host, feign ignorance that Darth and SolidMario are the same person, and lead with an honest response:

By this point he had sustained his thread for 192 pages, and kept making it really obvious that he was not going to let this go, and definitely wasn't about to accept culpability for his issues. @WeeGee had been keeping me abreast of his ongoing sock attacks on the Wiki as well, so I knew that while he had a short cool-off period during the point I gave him his advice, he would be back soon.

I didn't need to wait long.

In response to this, I dropped a second textwall where I explained that his behavior sort of reminded me of Jay Geis, another Lolcow we covered, years ago.

Spoiler: Jay Geis

For the uninitiated: Jay was a terrible artist with fucked-up fetishes who did a lot of terrible shit to people and had shown signs of being a psychopath. Jay was enough of a cow to sustain his own subforum; his was a glorious trainwreck featuring autism, terrible artwork, and Dynastia leading a man into sexual deviancy. It ended with him faking his own death to escape the Farms.

Good times.

I warned SolidMario that disengagement was the only way he was going to get anywhere again.
SolidMario responded thusly:

By this point he had just broken cloak because his socks kept getting found out and his alt accounts were quickly rediscovered because he's about as subtle as a brick to the nards. I was aware he was at least trying to keep his head down, but the guy had no patience, and, exactly like I was expecting, he screwed up.

This would also be the conversation that WeeGee noted he was having in this post, by the way.

Like a prequel where you want things to work out but you just know shit's going to go tits-up for the main character, the hope spot provided for SolidMario seemingly getting it only serves to drive home the fail later.

I almost get the feeling from this entire exchange that SolidMario sort of needs DarthChaos in a way; his own desperate attempt to keep a check on his behavior. It's actually kind of fascinating to see in action, and part of me wanted to yell "Kiss her, you fool!" throughout the exchange.

Would their relationship last?
Would DarthChaos be able to curb SolidMario's tendencies?
How long before @BOLDYSPICY! drew porn of the pair?

There are no words, however, for what follows:
SolidMario proceeds to get into a serious discussion with himself via the medium of DarthChaos.

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the funniest and most surreal things I've seen in a conversation window since the AutisticDragonkin conversation chain wherein he invited every staff member to the conversation. But SolidMario seemed determined for once. He had a goal in sight, and he was going to strive for it.

Could he do it?

Of fucking course not, idiot. You're in this fucking thread. You saw Page 195. You know where this goes.
SolidMario uncloaks, and the thread descends into chaos again.
This is accompanied with more Wiki edit attempts.

I meant what I said here. I really can't blame a sockpuppet for the failures of the person it's socking for.

Now, normally, I make it a point to not breach convo privacy unless necessary: Suicide threats, danger to the Farms, that sort of shit. On the other hand, SolidMario not only has done the exact opposite of what fucking half of this forum's regulars has expressly told him to do, but he's only stepped up his attempts here in his thread in the last two weeks, he's kind of showed he did this in bad faith from the get-go, and as such, I have no qualms about sharing this font of hilarity with all of you.

It's not all predictable disappointment: That conversation with himself was fucking magical, and SolidMario was legitimately and unironically entertaining throughout the entire exchange. I hope you all enjoyed it.

I'm way more annoyed by the fact @SolidMario and @DarthChaos couldn't spell your name correctly than I should be. Especially since the correct spelling was in front of him the whole time.

 

[Cthulu]

All right. I've been holding this one in reserve for a bit for a few reasons, which I'll get into below. Veterans of the Farms will no doubt be familiar with my "steps to stop being a lolcow" guide, one piece of which was this thing I dropped when SolidMario was in full-fledged DELETE EVERYTHING mode on Lolcow Wiki.

I think on some level, SolidMario "gets" why he's the subject of ridicule, and understands all-too-well why he's basically a laughingstock.

Apparently he thought this too, because he started a conversation and invited me into it. The conversation seemed to be an admission that I may have had a point with my earlier post, and he asked me for advice.

Things immediately take a turn for the surreal, however, when I noticed the conversation's participants:

I need to point out that when I made the post I did, I did so with the full foreknowledge that SolidMario and DarthChaos were the same person. This was pretty obvious from the moment that both handles tried to do the exact same edits to the Wiki, and that was some time before he got caught pulling a Brianna Wu and posting with the wrong account.

Let us begin, then, and descend into one man's epic journey to find himself.

Spoiler: SolidMario's Glorious One-Man Show

Things lead off pretty straightforwardly. Again, DarthChaos seems to be doing the "good cop" routine here, but he also seems to show something resembling legitimate contrition for the first time.... Well, ever. I was going to originally ask why he decided to invite his sock into the conversation, but then I decided against it, thinking:

"You know what? Fuck it, I want to see where he's going with this."

We see in pretty short order what this is actually about, because SolidMario is about as subtle as Chris when it comes to getting across what he wants, and thinks that apparently, I'm the best way to deal with this. Note that this is after I had stepped down from staffing, so in a customary text-wall explaining what he needs to do to stop being covered (point of emphasis circled), I state I'd have to clear any big editing of his article with the staff, which isn't entirely accurate, but again, I wanted to see where he's going with this.

So I play the good host, feign ignorance that Darth and SolidMario are the same person, and lead with an honest response:

By this point he had sustained his thread for 192 pages, and kept making it really obvious that he was not going to let this go, and definitely wasn't about to accept culpability for his issues. @WeeGee had been keeping me abreast of his ongoing sock attacks on the Wiki as well, so I knew that while he had a short cool-off period during the point I gave him his advice, he would be back soon.

I didn't need to wait long.

In response to this, I dropped a second textwall where I explained that his behavior sort of reminded me of Jay Geis, another Lolcow we covered, years ago.

Spoiler: Jay Geis

For the uninitiated: Jay was a terrible artist with fucked-up fetishes who did a lot of terrible shit to people and had shown signs of being a psychopath. Jay was enough of a cow to sustain his own subforum; his was a glorious trainwreck featuring autism, terrible artwork, and Dynastia leading a man into sexual deviancy. It ended with him faking his own death to escape the Farms.

Good times.

I warned SolidMario that disengagement was the only way he was going to get anywhere again.
SolidMario responded thusly:

By this point he had just broken cloak because his socks kept getting found out and his alt accounts were quickly rediscovered because he's about as subtle as a brick to the nards. I was aware he was at least trying to keep his head down, but the guy had no patience, and, exactly like I was expecting, he screwed up.

This would also be the conversation that WeeGee noted he was having in this post, by the way.

Like a prequel where you want things to work out but you just know shit's going to go tits-up for the main character, the hope spot provided for SolidMario seemingly getting it only serves to drive home the fail later.

I almost get the feeling from this entire exchange that SolidMario sort of needs DarthChaos in a way; his own desperate attempt to keep a check on his behavior. It's actually kind of fascinating to see in action, and part of me wanted to yell "Kiss her, you fool!" throughout the exchange.

Would their relationship last?
Would DarthChaos be able to curb SolidMario's tendencies?
How long before @BOLDYSPICY! drew porn of the pair?

There are no words, however, for what follows:
SolidMario proceeds to get into a serious discussion with himself via the medium of DarthChaos.

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the funniest and most surreal things I've seen in a conversation window since the AutisticDragonkin conversation chain wherein he invited every staff member to the conversation. But SolidMario seemed determined for once. He had a goal in sight, and he was going to strive for it.

Could he do it?

Of fucking course not, idiot. You're in this fucking thread. You saw Page 195. You know where this goes.
SolidMario uncloaks, and the thread descends into chaos again.
This is accompanied with more Wiki edit attempts.

I meant what I said here. I really can't blame a sockpuppet for the failures of the person it's socking for.

Now, normally, I make it a point to not breach convo privacy unless necessary: Suicide threats, danger to the Farms, that sort of shit. On the other hand, SolidMario not only has done the exact opposite of what fucking half of this forum's regulars has expressly told him to do as far as legit advice is concerned, but he has only stepped up his attempts here in his thread in the last two weeks,and showed he did this in bad faith from the get-go.

As such, I have no qualms about sharing this font of hilarity with all of you.

It's not all predictable disappointment: That conversation with himself was fucking magical, and SolidMario was legitimately and unironically entertaining throughout the entire exchange. I hope you all enjoyed it.

I have to say @Jaimas I actually read that text wall and it was top kek.

 

[Optimus Prime]

All right. I've been holding this one in reserve for a bit for a few reasons, which I'll get into below. Veterans of the Farms will no doubt be familiar with my "steps to stop being a lolcow" guide, one piece of which was this thing I dropped when SolidMario was in full-fledged DELETE EVERYTHING mode on Lolcow Wiki.

I think on some level, SolidMario "gets" why he's the subject of ridicule, and understands all-too-well why he's basically a laughingstock.

Apparently he thought this too, because he started a conversation and invited me into it. The conversation seemed to be an admission that I may have had a point with my earlier post, and he asked me for advice.

Things immediately take a turn for the surreal, however, when I noticed the conversation's participants:

I need to point out that when I made the post I did, I did so with the full foreknowledge that SolidMario and DarthChaos were the same person. This was pretty obvious from the moment that both handles tried to do the exact same edits to the Wiki, and that was some time before he got caught pulling a Brianna Wu and posting with the wrong account.

Let us begin, then, and descend into one man's epic journey to find himself.

Spoiler: SolidMario's Glorious One-Man Show

Things lead off pretty straightforwardly. Again, DarthChaos seems to be doing the "good cop" routine here, but he also seems to show something resembling legitimate contrition for the first time.... Well, ever. I was going to originally ask why he decided to invite his sock into the conversation, but then I decided against it, thinking:

"You know what? Fuck it, I want to see where he's going with this."

We see in pretty short order what this is actually about, because SolidMario is about as subtle as Chris when it comes to getting across what he wants, and thinks that apparently, I'm the best way to deal with this. Note that this is after I had stepped down from staffing, so in a customary text-wall explaining what he needs to do to stop being covered (point of emphasis circled), I state I'd have to clear any big editing of his article with the staff, which isn't entirely accurate, but again, I wanted to see where he's going with this.

So I play the good host, feign ignorance that Darth and SolidMario are the same person, and lead with an honest response:

By this point he had sustained his thread for 192 pages, and kept making it really obvious that he was not going to let this go, and definitely wasn't about to accept culpability for his issues. @WeeGee had been keeping me abreast of his ongoing sock attacks on the Wiki as well, so I knew that while he had a short cool-off period during the point I gave him his advice, he would be back soon.

I didn't need to wait long.

In response to this, I dropped a second textwall where I explained that his behavior sort of reminded me of Jay Geis, another Lolcow we covered, years ago.

Spoiler: Jay Geis

For the uninitiated: Jay was a terrible artist with fucked-up fetishes who did a lot of terrible shit to people and had shown signs of being a psychopath. Jay was enough of a cow to sustain his own subforum; his was a glorious trainwreck featuring autism, terrible artwork, and Dynastia leading a man into sexual deviancy. It ended with him faking his own death to escape the Farms.

Good times.

I warned SolidMario that disengagement was the only way he was going to get anywhere again.
SolidMario responded thusly:

By this point he had just broken cloak because his socks kept getting found out and his alt accounts were quickly rediscovered because he's about as subtle as a brick to the nards. I was aware he was at least trying to keep his head down, but the guy had no patience, and, exactly like I was expecting, he screwed up.

This would also be the conversation that WeeGee noted he was having in this post, by the way.

Like a prequel where you want things to work out but you just know shit's going to go tits-up for the main character, the hope spot provided for SolidMario seemingly getting it only serves to drive home the fail later.

I almost get the feeling from this entire exchange that SolidMario sort of needs DarthChaos in a way; his own desperate attempt to keep a check on his behavior. It's actually kind of fascinating to see in action, and part of me wanted to yell "Kiss her, you fool!" throughout the exchange.

Would their relationship last?
Would DarthChaos be able to curb SolidMario's tendencies?
How long before @BOLDYSPICY! drew porn of the pair?

There are no words, however, for what follows:
SolidMario proceeds to get into a serious discussion with himself via the medium of DarthChaos.

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the funniest and most surreal things I've seen in a conversation window since the AutisticDragonkin conversation chain wherein he invited every staff member to the conversation. But SolidMario seemed determined for once. He had a goal in sight, and he was going to strive for it.

Could he do it?

Of fucking course not, idiot. You're in this fucking thread. You saw Page 195. You know where this goes.
SolidMario uncloaks, and the thread descends into chaos again.
This is accompanied with more Wiki edit attempts.

I meant what I said here. I really can't blame a sockpuppet for the failures of the person it's socking for.

Now, normally, I make it a point to not breach convo privacy unless necessary: Suicide threats, danger to the Farms, that sort of shit. On the other hand, SolidMario not only has done the exact opposite of what fucking half of this forum's regulars has expressly told him to do as far as legit advice is concerned, but he has only stepped up his attempts here in his thread in the last two weeks,and showed he did this in bad faith from the get-go.

As such, I have no qualms about sharing this font of hilarity with all of you.

It's not all predictable disappointment: That conversation with himself was fucking magical, and SolidMario was legitimately and unironically entertaining throughout the entire exchange. I hope you all enjoyed it.

That was truly amazing. If anything, the interesting thing is DarthChaos appears to be an almost completely seperate alter ego (the Butters/Prof. Chaos avatars being a perfect representation of this) that Tom uses as a psuedo-sounding board or the voice of reason. However, because the obvious, logical course of action would be to disengage the farms, that must come off as cowardly and defeatist, so while DC is loyal to Tom, he is ultimately the part of Tom who simply wants it all to be over.

Tom of course apparently concentrates all those feelings into his DC construct in his head purely to remove it, thus giving him 'focus' for trying to essentially one-up the farms in the most pathetic display of passive-aggressive behavior I've ever seen. Even the Golden Trashcan at least generated a shitty piece of MS art to display his 'victory' over the Farms. All Tom does is tell us how stupid we are and post video clip memes - in of itself not noteworthy, but goddamn if the fact he isn't doing it with gusto being the reason this thread is so lively.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

All right. I've been holding this one in reserve for a bit for a few reasons, which I'll get into below. Veterans of the Farms will no doubt be familiar with my "steps to stop being a lolcow" guide, one piece of which was this thing I dropped when SolidMario was in full-fledged DELETE EVERYTHING mode on Lolcow Wiki.

I think on some level, SolidMario "gets" why he's the subject of ridicule, and understands all-too-well why he's basically a laughingstock.

Apparently he thought this too, because he started a conversation and invited me into it. The conversation seemed to be an admission that I may have had a point with my earlier post, and he asked me for advice.

Things immediately take a turn for the surreal, however, when I noticed the conversation's participants:

I need to point out that when I made the post I did, I did so with the full foreknowledge that SolidMario and DarthChaos were the same person. This was pretty obvious from the moment that both handles tried to do the exact same edits to the Wiki, and that was some time before he got caught pulling a Brianna Wu and posting with the wrong account.

Let us begin, then, and descend into one man's epic journey to find himself.

Spoiler: SolidMario's Glorious One-Man Show

Things lead off pretty straightforwardly. Again, DarthChaos seems to be doing the "good cop" routine here, but he also seems to show something resembling legitimate contrition for the first time.... Well, ever. I was going to originally ask why he decided to invite his sock into the conversation, but then I decided against it, thinking:

"You know what? Fuck it, I want to see where he's going with this."

We see in pretty short order what this is actually about, because SolidMario is about as subtle as Chris when it comes to getting across what he wants, and thinks that apparently, I'm the best way to deal with this. Note that this is after I had stepped down from staffing, so in a customary text-wall explaining what he needs to do to stop being covered (point of emphasis circled), I state I'd have to clear any big editing of his article with the staff, which isn't entirely accurate, but again, I wanted to see where he's going with this.

So I play the good host, feign ignorance that Darth and SolidMario are the same person, and lead with an honest response:

By this point he had sustained his thread for 192 pages, and kept making it really obvious that he was not going to let this go, and definitely wasn't about to accept culpability for his issues. @WeeGee had been keeping me abreast of his ongoing sock attacks on the Wiki as well, so I knew that while he had a short cool-off period during the point I gave him his advice, he would be back soon.

I didn't need to wait long.

In response to this, I dropped a second textwall where I explained that his behavior sort of reminded me of Jay Geis, another Lolcow we covered, years ago.

Spoiler: Jay Geis

For the uninitiated: Jay was a terrible artist with fucked-up fetishes who did a lot of terrible shit to people and had shown signs of being a psychopath. Jay was enough of a cow to sustain his own subforum; his was a glorious trainwreck featuring autism, terrible artwork, and Dynastia leading a man into sexual deviancy. It ended with him faking his own death to escape the Farms.

Good times.

I warned SolidMario that disengagement was the only way he was going to get anywhere again.
SolidMario responded thusly:

By this point he had just broken cloak because his socks kept getting found out and his alt accounts were quickly rediscovered because he's about as subtle as a brick to the nards. I was aware he was at least trying to keep his head down, but the guy had no patience, and, exactly like I was expecting, he screwed up.

This would also be the conversation that WeeGee noted he was having in this post, by the way.

Like a prequel where you want things to work out but you just know shit's going to go tits-up for the main character, the hope spot provided for SolidMario seemingly getting it only serves to drive home the fail later.

I almost get the feeling from this entire exchange that SolidMario sort of needs DarthChaos in a way; his own desperate attempt to keep a check on his behavior. It's actually kind of fascinating to see in action, and part of me wanted to yell "Kiss her, you fool!" throughout the exchange.

Would their relationship last?
Would DarthChaos be able to curb SolidMario's tendencies?
How long before @BOLDYSPICY! drew porn of the pair?

There are no words, however, for what follows:
SolidMario proceeds to get into a serious discussion with himself via the medium of DarthChaos.

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the funniest and most surreal things I've seen in a conversation window since the AutisticDragonkin conversation chain wherein he invited every staff member to the conversation. But SolidMario seemed determined for once. He had a goal in sight, and he was going to strive for it.

Could he do it?

Of fucking course not, idiot. You're in this fucking thread. You saw Page 195. You know where this goes.
SolidMario uncloaks, and the thread descends into chaos again.
This is accompanied with more Wiki edit attempts.

I meant what I said here. I really can't blame a sockpuppet for the failures of the person it's socking for.

Now, normally, I make it a point to not breach convo privacy unless necessary: Suicide threats, danger to the Farms, that sort of shit. On the other hand, SolidMario not only has done the exact opposite of what fucking half of this forum's regulars has expressly told him to do as far as legit advice is concerned, but he has only stepped up his attempts here in his thread in the last two weeks,and showed he did this in bad faith from the get-go.

As such, I have no qualms about sharing this font of hilarity with all of you.

It's not all predictable disappointment: That conversation with himself was fucking magical, and SolidMario was legitimately and unironically entertaining throughout the entire exchange. I hope you all enjoyed it.

This is absolutely beautiful. And not entirely unexpected, given Solid/Darth's behavior. That conversation between those two accounts is magical in a way words can't fully describe And the fact that he's showing no signs of slowing down makes me wonder if he's got some ulterior motive beyond "Take this thread down" and vandalizing the wiki on a regular basis.

Because this comes across more as denial than when he was simply taking the bait we were laying out for him. In fact, it's almost like he wants this for some perplexing reason.

 

[Cthulu]

In fact, it's almost like he wants this for some perplexing reason

attention bad or good. It's not perplexing.

 

[Jaimas]

Honestly, I hope SolidMario gets into comedy. He seriously has untapped talent and I'd love to see him explore it.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

Honestly, I hope SolidMario gets into comedy. He seriously has untapped talent and I'd love to see him explore it.

He could have SolidMario and DarthChaos as literal sock puppets.

 

[Cthulu]

Honestly, I hope SolidMario gets into comedy. He seriously has untapped talent and I'd love to see him explore it.

@SolidMario. I agree maybe you should try comedy since your artistic career sucked bart's ass. Watching you argue with yourself is hilarious.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

attention bad or good. It's not perplexing.

Yeah, I get that, I mean is there anything else he wants besides the attention?

Does he like being called a bartfucker at this point? Does he secretly get off to all the troll posts made about him and his Bart obsession? That's the stuff I want to know.

But knowing Solid, he's going to try and deny every single thing.

 

[WeeGee]

@Jaimas that was truly a thing of beauty, not surprising in the least but still. He really knows how to put on the puppet show of a lifetime. He fails to understand that we don't hate him for being autistic, or at all for that matter. It's his continued antics and effort to silence coverage that has invoked the Streisand Effect and he's become an enemy of free speech in the whole process, one can flag the crap out anything and everything, even going as far as getting people banned from sites to keep it off the internet, but that's the kind of thing that fascinates more and more people to look into more.

Also I've not, nor has any of the contributors added anything slanderous or libelous about him, doing such is against the rules of Lolcow Wiki if I'm not mistaken, which is why left out the troll posts regarding the homosexual grandfather who allegedly had sex with @Ulfric Stormcloak and had a stash of naked Dennis the Menace art, there's nothing in the article that references those posts. I'm not a complete asshole so if I may have put something libelous, then removing it wouldn't actually be an issue at all, hurt feelings doesn't constitute libel, slander or defamation.

Also he already has a new sock account under the username Greenhippo101 Archive, I know it's sock from following the tracks of his xxDarthChaosxx and JackGroundrunner socks, if you read the comment in this archive link:

I ain't submitting awful shit, mothafucka. I'm exposing the lies of these scumbags at KiwiFarms.

I'm at least 90% sure it's him due to the massive hate boner for BBC and the Farms he's shown so far in his submissions (which are also archived), he also has shown a hateboner for our stalker sperg CackyJack/ReverieMagnitism.

Edit: one more thing to note is he thinks I'm Cackyjack and fails to understand that all socks of him get banned, I've actually witnessed the ban of a CackyJack sock in the chat.

 

[TheImportantFart]

Lol, someone's got a hell of a grudge:

 

[WeeGee]

@TheImportantFart my point exactly, who else hates BBC and the Farms like this?

 

[Calooby]

Don't cut yourself on that got dem edge there ya silly Bartfucka.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Lol, someone's got a hell of a grudge:

View attachment 199972

"Monster"

Whatever you say Solid.