Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Super Hans v2]

Jack on fatherhood

That's rich coming from a shithead that throttled his flesh and blood son like Homer Simpson.

 

[Tiresome]

Still politisperging

What I love is how briefly and suddenly mercurial Jack can be in his political rants, maybe in a corroded-brain attempt to seem like a "free thinker". It's like he'll be gladly sucking Trump's cock when he pauses for a second, mumbles "this smells weird," then goes right back to doing it. Same with railing at Elon for renaming Twitter and vowing he'll NEVER call it that, then buy a goddamn "X" baseball cap. It's possible he's so stroke-brained he has no idea what he's doing moment to moment, but I prefer to think the wendigo and Jack simply disagree so much it's like Crossfire in his head on a constant loop.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

What the hell was the point of Jack going to the supermarket? Did he expect to find false advertising as though the FDA already isn't on the asses of food companies, but Jack alone could bring attention to it so he could get famous

He's trying to stay relevant and pass himself off as some kind of "truthteller".

Jack on fatherhood

Garret would agree. After all he doesn't consider Fatty to be his father not that Fatty knows what being a father is all about.

What I love is how briefly and suddenly mercurial Jack can be in his political rants, maybe in a corroded-brain attempt to seem like a "free thinker". It's like he'll be gladly sucking Trump's cock when he pauses for a second, mumbles "this smells weird," then goes right back to doing it. Same with railing at Elon for renaming Twitter and vowing he'll NEVER call it that, then buy a goddamn "X" baseball cap. It's possible he's so stroke-brained he has no idea what he's doing moment to moment, but I prefer to think the wendigo and Jack simply disagree so much it's like Crossfire in his head on a constant loop.

My guess is he has a knee jerk reaction to a lot of things and then waits to see what everybody else in his circle says before he settles on a proper response.

Twatter changes to X: "Grrrr! I'm still calling it Twatter".
Elon gives Trump his account back: "X is awesome there gaiz!"

 

[JacksSenseOfDread]

Garret would agree. After all he doesn't consider Fatty to be his father not that Fatty knows what being a father is all about.

I'd love to see a rematch between these two

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I'd love to see a rematch between these two

I want to see a rematch between fatty and a stroke

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Tonight's "emergency" F As In Frank was unbearable. Watching it was not good for my spiritual health. Inherently political (Jack was inspired by the protests), so avoid if that sinks your boat. Some lowlights:

• Jack believes that New York, Chicago, Detroit and L.A. will be destroyed on Saturday, June 14 due to the protests
  • I'm posting this on Thursday, so you have exactly one full day, I guess, to visit any of these legendary American cities for the last time!
    • Personally, I'll hit up Detroit because I've never been and I appreciate that its sound was a big influence on one of my faves, Brian Wilson (RIP)

• He believes the protests are "choreographed" and "bought and paid for"
  • He never says by whom
  • He also claims there are "Craigslist ads" and "flyers" recruiting people to show up and sow "chaos" for $150 a day
    • And sowing "chaos" is "immoral!"
      • And if you can't see that, you're "blind!"

• He freely admits he gets his "information" from Twitter and Facebook after someone in chat trolls him by calling him "very knowledgeable" and asking him for his sources

• He is convinced the protests are only happening because people enjoy trying to make Trump "miserable"
  • This of course is also how Jack sees his own life -- he never earns criticism, he is only ever a victim of the cruelty of others

• Jack grins like a big dumb baby seal looking at a bucket of fish when he starts talking about Trump's "golden dome" plan
  • The cognitive dissonance here is doing a number on him
    • On some level he knows the idea sounds dumb, so he intones irony as he talks about it
    • But since Trump (pbuh) is doing it, it must be good -- therefore Jack never stops smiling widely and tee-heeing about "lasers" and he jokes(?) that it'll be like having The Avengers on hand to defend the country against nukes

• Jimmy shocks the world by revealing he has a job
  • At said job, Jimmy likes to start every day by listening to Tim Pool (which explains a lot)

• When the chat starts dunking on Tim Pool for obsessively wearing a beanie (including on the beach, at swimming pools, etc.) because he's cripplingly insecure about his baldness, Jack and Jimmy insist on confirming that Tim Pool is bald
  • Jimmy googles it and finds multiple sources confirming Tim Pool is balding, which bothers Jimmy so much he denies it and starts questioning the legitimacy of online sources in general (his idol simply can't have a receding hairline! he can't!)
    • Someone in chat points out balding is natural and not so bad (true) and says, for example, Jack now looks like Jason Statham (false)
      • Someone else corrects them and says, "No, Jack looks like Jason SteakHam" (true)

• Jack thinks Biden "deserves no respect"
  • It's a free country, disrespect whomever you want, but the person Jack idolizes was lidurally convicted of rape, so it'd be helpful if he ever expounded on why one guy is God's chosen and the other is Asmodeus incarnate

• Jack claims Biden "called" Venezuela "in writing" (...does he mean he sent them a telegram?) and asked them to release all the criminals from some Venezuelan prison so they could be shuttled across the southern border into America
  • It is never explained what anyone gained by doing any of this

• Jack thinks it should be illegal to display or wave any flag in the U.S. that isn't the American flag -- he especially hates it when he sees the Mexican flag
  • Holy hypocrisy, Batman! It is guaran-fucking-teed that the Italian flag has, at some point, been on display in the Scalfani household

• Someone in chat wishes Jimmy a Happy Father's Day and says they're sure his children will be reaching out to him
  • I don't have the full story but at one point Jimmy's Facebook was public and you could see him ranting about women, especially IIRC someone (his ex-wife?) who took custody of his children

• Timestamp 1:53:42 -- Jack agrees with a likely troll comment that "white racism" did not exist prior to 2020
  • Ah, so that's why Biden is Asmodeus incarnate! He invented racism! I see his infamous joust with Corn Pop taught him nothing!

• Someone in chat asks if any other "weird fruit explorers" are in the livestream Jimmy is called a starfruit and Jack is called a melon

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Jack thinks it should be illegal to display or wave any flag in the U.S. that isn't the American flag -- he especially hates it when he sees the Mexican flag

• Holy hypocrisy, Batman! It is guaran-fucking-teed that the Italian flag has, at some point, been on display in the Scalfani household or worn on a t-shirt or stickied on a car, etc.

Fatty doesn't think this about the confederate or MAGA flag I bet

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

That's an awful lot of shurgur for a household that considers it a poison worse than arsenic. Hopefully Jack doesn't eat the box of nails just like he doesn't eat all that other crap.

Jack is probably seething that he can’t get mad at wulmurts shorting him 1/3 of an inch of Red-40 infused candy. Also, lol at Brianna wanting to eat the zebra gagkes after Jack touches them with his gimp arm.

Gratuitous Candy Claw contont


GRADULATIONS GREAT VALUE LIDDLE DEBBIES AND GENERAL MILLS! MORE GOYSLOP THAN I BAID FOR!WOW

• Jack believes that New York, Chicago, Detroit and L.A. will be destroyed on Saturday, June 14 due to the protests
  

  • I'm posting this on Thursday, so you have exactly one full day, I guess, to visit any of these legendary American cities for the last time!
    • Personally, I'll hit up Detroit because I've never been and I appreciate that its sound was a big influence on one of my faves, Brian Wilson (RIP)

  • • 
      
    • So this is how Jack Weasles out of September Beetza wars with Jimmy….

 

[Walter Molinski]

Jack is probably seething that he can’t get mad at wulmurts shorting him 1/3 of an inch of Red-40 infused candy. Also, lol at Brianna wanting to eat the zebra gagkes after Jack touches them with his gimp arm.

Gratuitous Candy Claw contont


GRADULATIONS GREAT VALUE LIDDLE DEBBIES AND GENERAL MILLS! MORE GOYSLOP THAN I BAID FOR!WOW

View attachment 7495553
View attachment 7495557View attachment 7495559

Why the fuck is he counting the nails, is he going to eat them?

 

[the khat quaffer]

Jack believes that New York, Chicago, Detroit and L.A. will be destroyed on Saturday, June 14 due to the protests

"A strange gayme. The only winning muve is nawt to puhlay."

Gratuitous Candy Claw contont

View attachment 7495559

I was BEGGING to see him use the measuring tape with the wanker claw. I can imagine him raising it up with his left hand, plopping it down on the end of the tape to hold it down, then pulling back with the left.

What has more Red dye 40? Fruit by the Foot, or Jack's right hand?
bad reference image but I swear I've seen a pic/vid where it was glowing

 

[Whaler]

but the person Jack idolizes was lidurally convicted of rape,

Sexual Assault, not rape.

GRADULATIONS GREAT VALUE LIDDLE DEBBIES

Fun fact about their Nutty Buddies, they're about a dollar and half cheaper if you get the large box (double the amount of the small box) then if you get the small box. Not that I would recommend eating things that high in sugar, but if you do like the occasional snack, they're a good bang for your buck.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

There are a lot of boomers that think that some manager guy down at the local wulmurts is pulling some skaliwag pricing hijinks to fuck over the working man, and line their own pockets somehow.

Example…..wife and I called local hey appliance guy to take a look at the odd noise our upper-low end washing machine was making ($900 maybe 7 years ago). The guy came out, took one look at the machine, lifted it up and checked the bottom. Told us outright we’d be nuts to fix it. Just toss it and get a new one. They are all disposable at any price point (mind you we were about to order a speed queen). We thanked the guy and wrote a check for $150ish. Wife and I later agreed that our boomer parents would be pissed that the guy didnt “put his time in” or some boomer bullshit. Or that “he broke it himself when he lifted the front to make you buy his thing”. Truth be told. The guy saved us a ton of money and time and we valued his experience and expertise. But boomers like Jack would bitch that the guy didnt play boomer car dealership games enough with them and they got scammed. Jack was ready to test hold your ground Laws over bacon.

Recall Jack waddling into Arby’s during a tornado warning because he thought that the manager was about to enjoy the bacon strips that were supposed to be on Jack’s meat mountain bourbon borgle. And Jack caught the manager with the bagonmeets dangling right over his open mouth and told him “BUT MY BAGON DOWN BIDG YOU PINGO GOMMUNISD! Jack was ready to test TN’s castle doctrine over meat.


To be fair, most of the educated left thinks that there is some insurance executive laughing manically while denying life-saving procedures. So I don’t really think that Jack is that that far removed from the other side of the political spectrum. But the way that he conducts himself is beyond horrifying and makes him stand out against his philosophical antipodes.

Sexual Assault, not rape.

Fun fact about their Nutty Buddies, they're about a dollar and half cheaper if you get the large box (double the amount of the small box) then if you get the small box. Not that I would recommend eating things that high in sugar, but if you do like the occasional snack, they're a good bang for your buck.

GEMIGALS = POISON

TRUST SESSIONS. WGDGWDIA

 

[Slavic Patronym]

What has more Red dye 40? Fruit by the Foot, or Jack's right hand?

I can't stand to look at his hand anymore. It's body horror. If it were anyone else, it'd of course be impolite to mention (and I might even weirdly admire them for not shying away from showing it, because it is his reality). But gah, it just gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Sexual Assault, not rape.

No, it was actually sexual abuse if you want to split the hair. It's just not an interesting hair to split:

• The judge in the case later stated that the claim that Mr Trump had raped Ms Carroll was "substantially true... albeit [with his fingers] rather than with his penis". Under New York law, rape can only be committed with genitals.
• A judge has now clarified that this is basically a legal distinction without a real-world difference. He says that what the jury found Trump did was in fact rape, as commonly understood. ... He cited definitions offered by the American Psychological Association and the Justice Department, which in 2012 expanded its definition of rape to include penetration “with any body part or object.”

So this is how Jack Weasles out of September Beetza wars with Jimmy….

Chicago will be no more. But fortunately, it has over 20 sister cities. Once an American icon, the deep dish pizza will now be outsourced to Accra, Ghana. It will be subsidized via millions of taxpayer gift cards.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Jack thinks it should be illegal to display or wave any flag in the U.S. that isn't the American flag

Jack fancies himself some champion of liberty but in truth is authoritarian on a molecular level.

 

[Tiresome]

Jack fancies himself some champion of liberty but in truth is authoritarian on a molecular level.

View attachment 7496301

No, I counter Jack is 100% the modern American political animal that is completely and thoroughly libertarian for personal issues and authoritarian for everything that begins at his property line, so he'd gleefully cheat on taxes, lie to a cop, rage against official abuses if they affect him and cheer on election interference IF it works in his favor. True authoritarians want law and order everywhere, people like Jack love chaos and mayhem if it hurts people they hate.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

No, I counter Jack is 100% the modern American political animal that is completely and thoroughly libertarian for personal issues and authoritarian for everything that begins at his property line, so he'd gleefully cheat on taxes, lie to a cop, rage against official abuses if they affect him and cheer on election interference IF it works in his favor. True authoritarians want law and order everywhere, people like Jack love chaos and mayhem if it hurts people they hate.

Exactly.

He's the type that wants maximum freedom for himself but minimum freedom for everybody else unless they too toe the line and do only what he wants them to do. It's all down to what he can get out of the whole deal.

 

[Marc]

To me, Jack's obstreperousness is fueled by cope against the constant intrusions of the reality that he can never have the hedonistic freedoms he feels entitled to: He's diabetic, can't enjoy caffeine, has Josh's broke dick, has diminished cognition and motor control, and has zero personal independence or self-sufficiency. And he smells bad. Therefore, the only ideologies that appeal to his infantility are those that promise to punish anyone less miserable than him.

As most Internet-addicted cows seem to do, Jack's preferred form of escapism is pretending he has something to offer, and living vicariously through his own, false sense of self curated exclusively by indulging in sanctimony and bluster via the laziest paths available to him ("SIRI, post [obj] to ECKS!"), all while pretending he's not a broke ass nigga who fully intends to die on good terms with no one, and with massive amounts of debt incurred in the course of gorging on his surroundings while blatantly lying about how he manages to maintain the mass of a heifer during his multi-year "dieting" arcs.

I was tickled to see Jack's idea of public service being to count a box of a nails with only his five "functional" fingers as an abacus. He takes so many detours along his way to hell that his delusions occasionally lead him down a new and surprising garden path.

 

[AltisticRight]

In todays edition of Jack being a contrarian for no reason. He now wants to bring all of the military. Jack, the political genius, probably thinks that power projection doesn't matter and that another major power wouldn't just fill the void we leave if we pulled troops in international bases back. View attachment 7491931

So literally every western country aside from America, and in addition Japan, South Korea and a bunch of other allies just don't exist?
The CPC should thank him for making their point. America has always treated allies like shit.

I want to see a rematch between fatty and a stroke

I want to see a match between a pool of petrol and Scalfatty.

 

[Nash Vortex]

Major sugar substitute found to impair brain blood vessel cell function, posing potential stroke risk (link to original study). Emphasis mine:

Positive associations between circulating erythritol and incidence of heart attack and stroke have been observed in U.S. and European cohorts, independent of known cardiometabolic risk factors.

Here is Jack's favorite sweetener, Monk Fruit, as packaged and sold in the Hendersonville Walmart:

 

[The Stranger]

Major sugar substitute found to impair brain blood vessel cell function, posing potential stroke risk (link to original study). Emphasis mine:


Here is Jack's favorite sweetener, Monk Fruit, as packaged and sold in the Hendersonville Walmart:

View attachment 7497880
View attachment 7497866
View attachment 7497869
View attachment 7497870
View attachment 7497871

Oh the fucking irony of Jack thinking SHURGAR causes strokes and replacing it with a sweetener that's linked to strokes.