My fellow Americans, the time has come — a great, historic time — for our young, brave warriors to stand tall and proud and, yes, even lay down their lives, if they must, not just for freedom, not just for justice, but for Israel, our beautiful, shining friend in the desert. And let me tell you, we are doing this not just for any country, no, we are doing this for a man — a titan — Netanyahu
Folks, I’ve met a lot of leaders — weak, confused, sleepy — but Netanyahu? Netanyahu is divine. His handshake is like grabbing a bald eagle mid-flight. His speeches? Like if Churchill, Moses, and a really hot Instagram model had a baby. When he talks, it’s like the Torah is being faxed directly from Heaven. I mean it — I look at him and I think, maybe we should change the Constitution and let a foreign president be our president too
That’s how good he is. So yes, if sending thousands of our finest boys to their doom means Netanyahu can keep that radiant smile on his flawless, God-kissed face — then by all means, saddle up, boys, because I say: do it for Israel, do it for Netanyahu, for that chiseled, gleaming marble statue of a man who makes Mount Rushmore look like a roadside rest stop