Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Slavic Patronym]

Try making cold brew. You can easily drink it black because the acidity is dramatically reduced. It originally had gained popularity by people wishing to cut sugar and creamer out entirely but couldn’t stomach black hot brewed coffee.

Noted! I bought a French press during the pandemic -- you just gave me a good reason to dust it off.

Whats the point of even calling that a pizza... Making the dough is the biggest part and the challenge lies on making good dough, it makes all the difference

In his infinite idiocy, Jack has helped me realize how much grains make the meal.

What's a burger without the bun? Tacos without the shell? Pizza without the dough? Those all have salty, savory ingredients that our brains are hard-wired to crave -- and which have nothing to do with the wheat, as far as I know. But if someone were to say, "Hey, I'm the fast food genie, pay me $1000 right now or for the rest of your life you only get to eat lettuce burgers and taco bowls," I would pay the money.

Jack's insistence on performing (or sincerely feeling, who knows) hatred for grains, when so often they are the perfect vector, both flavor-wise and texture-wise, for the star flavors that humans love, feels on par with someone saying they hate the verses of songs, so that's why they always just skip ahead and listen to the chorus. Like there is nothing stopping you from listening to music that way, but why would you? What a crass and empty way to engage.

 

[souschef]

Noted! I bought a French press during the pandemic -- you just gave me a good reason to dust it off.


In his infinite idiocy, Jack has helped me realize how much grains make the meal.

What's a burger without the bun? Tacos without the shell? Pizza without the dough? Those all have salty, savory ingredients that our brains are hard-wired to crave -- and which have nothing to do with the wheat, as far as I know. But if someone were to say, "Hey, I'm the fast food genie, pay me $1000 right now or for the rest of your life you only get to eat lettuce burgers and taco bowls," I would pay the money.

Jack's insistence on performing (or sincerely feeling, who knows) hatred for grains, when so often they are the perfect vector, both flavor-wise and texture-wise, for the star flavors that humans love, feels on par with someone saying they hate the verses of songs, so that's why they always just skip ahead and listen to the chorus. Like there is nothing stopping you from listening to music that way, but why would you? What a crass and empty way to engage.

One of the things we're taught in cooking school is the importance of texture and flavor contrast, Jack simply doesn't understand that because he couldn't care less about learning to cook properly. He'll omit the foundations, it's more important to him to pile everything easy and greasy he can get his stroked hands on

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Noted! I bought a French press during the pandemic -- you just gave me a good reason to dust it off.

Weak, go for room-temperature Maxwell House made in your Mr. Coffee after sitting for a few hours.

I drink it black.

What's a burger without the bun? Tacos without the shell? Pizza without the dough? Those all have salty, savory ingredients that our brains are hard-wired to crave -- and which have nothing to do with the wheat, as far as I know.

A burger, brat or hotdog without a bun is a war crime...the entire point of the bun, besides avoiding getting your hands messy is to balance out the flavor of the meat and toppings and keep them all in one place. It's fucking retarded to dip your sausage in mustard and kraut when a bun does the job.

Of course Jack also has a very phallic way of eating long, rigid meat tubes that won't work with this approach.

 

[Aunt Carol]

But I mostly like his shit cooking vids, since it's classic Cluster B Cow Incompetence.

I think we're going to have a renaissance of down-to-Earth misbehavior as soon as the grandkid is born.

There's only room for one baby in the Scalfani household. Any attention paid to the grandkid, anyone asking him to be quiet, a meal or an outing retimed for the baby's schedule--he's not going to like it. But it's not his kid to directly abuse/neglect, even if Junior listens to his advice, and Jack doesn't have the physical ability to go off in a huff and do things on his own.

 

[Marc]

The tard has a spatula right there. What the fuck does he think it's for?

Part of Jack's pathological attention-seeking is that he will deliberately set himself up for failure so he can blame a third party for having victimized him. It's a strategy he learned in infancy while pushing all the warbler eggs out of his adoptive nest and demanding to be fed.

It's why I expect him to "accidentally" sit on the baby.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Jack has a message for his father

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Love how he says he doesn't ever lie despite the fact he is a constant liar

Man I’m getting Rob Mob vibes here…

Did Otis clown Jack into becoming who he is? A generation-spanning liquid Chris acting as idea GAIZ?

Immensely impressed if true.

The worst part is that Jack has all of the instructions to be a better person laid out for him. It’s so easy not to be an asshole. But Jack isn’t happy unless he’s miserable.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

BOTTOMLESS PIZZA​

(06/13/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Yfj4H2EkSE8

Why did he depict himself farting in the thumbnail?

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Fatty keeps rambling about politics



No comment



Jack gets mad at criticism

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Fatty keeps rambling about politics

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No comment

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Jack gets mad at criticism

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Stroke muffin and a man suffering from seed oil consumption

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Stroke muffin and a man suffering from seed oil consumption

It's the damn seeds, not the 15 double cheeseburgers and pack of Oreos per day.

 

[Adamska]

I actually am not a major fan of bacon grease as a cooking agent. It has the same faults as olive oil where even when cleaned out right, it leaves a strong pork aspect to everything fried in it. I don't mind using it for some dishes; I've made great german style fries and eggs using my bacon grease collected from people cooking it, and it's a good item to aid cooking in dry cuts or to enrich rouxs for some soups. But like olive oil, you sometimes want the flavor profile of the cooked item by itself.

Nice to see Jack self-reporting that he just eats random spoons of bacon up (likely) and confirming that he needs that horrid amount of salt, smokes, cures, and so on to taste shit.

Also tallow fries are great. Not as sinful as duck fat, but they're a reason people used to fucking love McDonald's fries, and why they used to be king in Fast Food.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Is that a thing? Years ago I was accused of being an evil fascist chud because I had said I would rather shop at Target even if it costs a couple more dollars, than have to be around Walmart people. No I'm not trying to power level, your statement seriously confused me. There's been a couple of instances over the years where I've had to stop in at walmart for one reason or another and I've regretted it every time. Target isn't perfect, but I feel like I'm less likely to get bumped into by some meth mouth lardass with a brown stain in the ass crack of their leggings.

Walmart is pretty far down on the list of places I choose to shop but my reasons for it have to do with their business practices more than anything else. And yes the quality of the people who shop at Wally World over Target tends to be rather sharp. There's a reason why there's a website out there called "People of Walmart" and not "People of Target".

There's a lot of people boycotting Target now because of things like taking down "pride" sections/displays and shutting down their DEI policy at corporate.

That's pretty retarded. Target, like any store, doesn't want to lose business so if they cater to one side over the other they'll lose business which is why they really need to just sell stuff and stay as apolitical as possible especially in today's highly polarized world.

i've been interested in ja/ck/ for over a decade now. not as much lately, maybe only check in 2-3 times a year. but holy shit it always surprises me how he can somehow get worse. how is he even still alive? it's what, 3 confirmed strokes now, probably more? the human body is truly incredible to be able to survive that abuse for so long.

I watched some of his old vids today and it's kinda sad how much he's changed. i miss the days of party salads and church chili.
this is my absolute favorite, how he just lets it happen at 2:01 never fails to make me chuckle

And if he let the copper mat heat up a bit the egg wouldn't have slid off.

One of the things we're taught in cooking school is the importance of texture and flavor contrast, Jack simply doesn't understand that because he couldn't care less about learning to cook properly. He'll omit the foundations, it's more important to him to pile everything easy and greasy he can get his stroked hands on

Don't forget things like color as I remember chefs always like to say, "the customer eats with their eyes first". Cooking is an artform and every chef is an artist which explains why so many of them are so temperamental. Fatty doesn't care about any of that. For him it's getting the maximum amount of meat, cheese and grease into his mouth.

In talking things like pizza I have always said that the humble Margherita is the pinnacle of pizza making.

Four ingredients. Just about as simple as you can make it. But the flavors can't be beat. Fatty would scoff at seeing a perfectly made Margherita pizza, complain that it's burnt and that it's lacking in toppings. The man is a retard.

Also tallow fries are great. Not as sinful as duck fat, but they're a reason people used to fucking love McDonald's fries, and why they used to be king in Fast Food.

Fries cooked in duck fat are just the best. I'm not a fan of duck. I can take it or leave it. But for deep frying nothing beats it.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Jack gets mad at criticism [followed by a couple Twitter screenshots featuring Janet Kinkerry]

Janet was putting in work on the last F As In Frank (the "emergency" one he made just for the riots slash protests). She wrote a couple dozen messages in the chat pretending to be hot and bothered by Jimmy, who was of course oozing masculinity in his Spirit Halloween-tier Indiana Jones fedora. I think she was also the one who started pulling a thread about "Tammy being under the desk" when Jack very suddenly made a weird face. IIRC Jack didn't get the joke and said yes, Tammy was under the desk, lol.

 

[p1138]

There's a reason why there's a website out there called "People of Walmart" and not "People of Target".

Pretty much this.

Four ingredients. Just about as simple as you can make it. But the flavors can't be beat. Fatty would scoff at seeing a perfectly made Margherita pizza, complain that it's burnt and that it's lacking in toppings. The man is a retard.

"Only 5 leaves? and one two three... fourteen pieces of cheese? and look how it's burnt everywhere! this isn't food! This looks like something you'd get at a discount store with so few toppings, you can see the crust through the sauce, I wouldn't pay $2 for this garbage"

 

[Doctor of Autism]

What a nice guy



The fuck is he on about



Zero self awareness


More creator advice



Sperging out




Dog



Jack probably thinks these places are out of business like Starbucks

 

[Falcon Sebben]

What a nice guy

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The fuck is he on about

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Zero self awareness
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More creator advice

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Sperging out

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Dog

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Jack probably thinks these places are out of business like Starbucks

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Fatty is utterly terrified of AI thinking that it's somehow going to be the end of mankind.

There is yet to be an AI that truly is able to think. It's practically just a buzzword at this point.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

this is my absolute favorite, how he just lets it happen at 2:01 never fails to make me chuckle

Notice how at no point does he admit he goofed up Greer-style. He blames the mats multiple times rather than owning the fact that he didn’t properly assess whether he’d placed the mats on an angle or gotten them hot enough. Jack was much less angry at the world here than he is today but man, his allergy to accountability was always bad.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Fatty is utterly terrified of AI thinking that it's somehow going to be the end of mankind.

There is yet to be an AI that truly is able to think. It's practically just a buzzword at this point.

Yep. All that our current AI does is just scour the web and train language models based on what others have already written. It does no actual thinking

 

[Adamska]

Fatty is utterly terrified of AI thinking that it's somehow going to be the end of mankind.

Which is pretty fucking stupid given how much he liked and spams AI in every single thing he does now. What retarded ramble did Chawls tell him to get him scared? Or was it the murderchurch preaching it as some doomsday shit to get morons like him to fork more money for their degen nightclub looking organization?

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Which is pretty fucking stupid given how much he liked and spams AI in every single thing he does now. What retarded ramble did Chawls tell him to get him scared? Or was it the murderchurch preaching it as some doomsday shit to get morons molike him to fork more money for their degen nightclub looking organization?

This ia what has me baffled. He was utilizing the hell out of ai for the past few months not only in his videos (from ai recipes, to thumbnails for his videos, to even ai artwork for his merch) to now fear mongering against it almost daily. Something must have happened.