- Joined
- Feb 9, 2021
I bet you could count on both hands the number of times Staph has brushed her teeth this year.
Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children
- Thread starter Hamplanet Fitness
- Start date
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2015
Optimistic. I bet she’s only brushed her teeth before she’s gone to the dentist.
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2016
Just like the last prayers of the sinner before the gates of Hell.
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2021
The gemini being the ghost of Jeffrey Dahmer, I guess.
Not 'I'm sorry for your loss' just 'I'm sorry that I got half the time with my cat, I deserve more pity.'
Falling asleep to fart videos. Good grief.
LOL this reads like she's in mental anguish, rather than physical pain with her mouth. I love the image of the dentist misgendering and dead naming her with his hands in her mouth so she can't clap back. If you don't want the dentist dead naming you, legally change your name. If you don't want to be misgendered, make more of an effort to look male, starting with growing out those bangs and ditching the pastel grandma clothes.
ETA:
Why you would want the internet to know that you're a sweaty pig is beyond me.
Staph:
Common sense: X
Truthful: X
Compassionate: X
Willing to fight: X
Does not profile people: X
There are multitudes of reasons why she has 'so many haters' and some of those reasons are because she lacks all of those things.
Interesting that she has started listening to audiobooks. And it oddly doesn't contain any of her 'special interests' like druid woo, Loki smut or serial killers.
'Because I was.' Was? Clearly not now, and probably not back then either.
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- Joined
- Oct 4, 2016
lol girl you’d have to DO SOMETHING to be hate crimed. She thinks she’s got the same social capital as politicians. She’s absolutely insane.
You and your cat are far more likely to succumb to diabetes due to your own hand, rather than anyone hate criming you. Like this dude was making a statement. What statement is made murdering you, Staph, other than “I’m a crack head and this cunt severely underestimates fucking with crack heads”?
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
She would have a hard time sharing him with other women. She has to be THE Jesuswife and mouth piece.
squidward tentacles
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2021
Steph as a nun is a pretty comical image, ngl. Would she drop the ghost husbands or would they all spontaneously become transwomen to psychically join her at the convent?
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
I always thought Steph should have /would have at any other time in history just Been A Nun, without ever realising that she would have been less this type of nun-
and more definitely falling into this category-
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
Even if she wasn't abusing children in the traditional sense, she'd at least be grooming them for someone else to abuse.
And even if she wasn't doing THAT, she'd be claiming some direct divinity and trying to out-nun every other nun. If she was in any position of authority, she'd be inflicting spiritual abuse left and right.
We could joke that she's too dumb to have any authority, but it doesn't matter. Look what she did with nothing more than a chat room full of kids who didn't have to be there. Imagine her working in an orphanage. They give her a class of literal retards to look after because everyone else finds her so annoying, and she starts a literal cult with herself at the center.
Hopefully in this alternate dimension where she's a nun, they figure out to send her to a cloistered community where they take a vow of silence and make her sew vestments all day. And luckily in this reality, it seems that weirdo kids online are becoming more and more suspicious of her at first blush.
- Joined
- May 23, 2020
I know she's spoken about having previously been Christian before, and remember assuming her adoptive parents were some form of Catholic because Italian (her dad at least, no clue what her mother is) but if they are, they're probably not devout at all, since they're okay with their faildaughter being spayed, childless and identifying as some mystery flavour of LGBTQIAPWTFBBQ+ even if they never use the preferred name and pronouns. Could have also been a teenage phase of trying on different labels and seeing what sticks, we've all been there, though I'd like to know more about what Christian Staph was like. From what I hear there are more and more churches in Murica doing the "queer friendly" thing too, so it's not as if she'd be without ass-patters if she were to go that route.
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- Joined
- Oct 26, 2021
Staph has created a NSFW Tumblr blog. Her regular blog perpetuaspurplepussy is now strictly fandom posts:
She gave no fucks and reposted her own new NSFW blog.
New NSFW account: darktwistedpussy
There's not much there, only a handful of reblogs. A couple of examples:
Speaking about herself, there.
She reposted a short story she wrote last year about fucking a ghost. It's been posted here before, but it's worth a reread for the infamous scissoring fingers:
Please write more.
She gave no fucks and reposted her own new NSFW blog.
New NSFW account: darktwistedpussy
There's not much there, only a handful of reblogs. A couple of examples:
Speaking about herself, there.
She reposted a short story she wrote last year about fucking a ghost. It's been posted here before, but it's worth a reread for the infamous scissoring fingers:
Please write more.
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- Joined
- Oct 5, 2018
Oh yeah, what's sexier than the sound of balls slapping?
She's really into uh, flailing body parts in her writing. I will never, ever, EVER forget the salmon slappers.
She's really into uh, flailing body parts in her writing. I will never, ever, EVER forget the salmon slappers.
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2020
No, see, she's willing to fight, just not for the good of other people. She LOVES getting into fights on the Internet!
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2015
Jeffrey wouldn’t fuck you either Steph, he liked little black boys, not fat, hairy, broken teethed women larping as men.
That story is awful. What is it with cows and being terrible writers? Nothing she writes is sexy. I might be biased because I’m A) attracted to women and B) attracted strictly to the living, but none of that seems appealing.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
She could make a big fuss about divorcing the ghost husbands because she has a greater calling, but don't worry she's going to be praying to help get them out of fuckin'-weird-Tumblr-people Limbo sooner.
I dunno; Stephanie's not always a stickler for a seamless transition with her story arcs. We're the only people who remember the babies she abandoned on the astral plane, after all.
A few hundred years ago, I bet Stephanie would have been really into the lives of martyred saints, but mostly the end part where the martyring happened. Nowadays we just have to hope nobody tells her about the historical appreciation for St. Sebastian.
Making a guy shot to near-death by arrows the patron of archers is really funny. Who said Catholics don't have a sense of humor?
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2024
She wouldn't divorce them. She'd convert them and then if she's feeling saucy she'll let us know their new astral nun names.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
St. GG EZ no re
Stephanie does like code names.
I think one reason she's stuck with the "Misc. Pagan" stuff for so long, though, is that (modern, reconstructed) pagan practice is vague and not enforced by a central body, just consensus and online slapfights and blocking. It's easy to monkeybranch from Celtic pagan to Norse pagan without having to repudiate your old beliefs or change anything except your social media bio.
Same thing with political beliefs; Stephanie isn't a member of any organization except her own, which is just her and a sockpuppet Facebook account that she uses for trolling. Thus she can pick up any single cause or slogan, and then stop using it when tides shift (or she forgets). Same with gender; she's whatever is most convenient, and/or her own made-up label.
If she joined an actual organization with human members and obligations, or if she converted to a religion that IRL people seriously believe, Stephanie would have to reassess everything she believes/fantasizes about/lies about. Maybe not whether she still believes it (I'm not sure how much she truly believes anything) but I bet she'd still see a social media post about ghosts or boyfriends and want to chime in "MY SEXY GHOST BOYFRIENDS" before she remembered her new paradigm; either her fellow parishoners would recognize them as demons, or the Democratic Socialists would quietly tsk and think again about how much they wanted Yarrow in committees.
Meanwhile, 1600s AU Sister Stephanie will not shut up about her ecstatic visions where she's visited routinely by martyred saints (the ones with the grossest deaths), but unfortunately she dies long before the English language picks up the term "husbando."
The abbess eventually runs ye olde cost-benefit analysis on Stephanie's helpfulness with the chores and sends out inquiries to see if anyone needs a new anchoress.
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2020
She'd be so bad at picking a confirmation name, let's be real. She'd go out of her way to find a "saint" that wasn't actually canonized by the Church* then stan the hell out of them for the things that make them not an actual saint. Then she'd "pray" to them all the time the way she does with Loki and make cringe-ass nae nae posts about it.
*As I was making this post, I found out those are actually a thing. They're called "Folk Saints" and the Church considers them false idols:
The list is pretty interesting, and looking up ones that seemed appropriate for Stephanie brought up a lot of fun shit
- Marie Laveau, the folk saint of herbalists, mid-wives, spiritualists, diviners, and "wangateurs." Better known as a literal voodoo priestess from New Orleans (Stephanie would never because Marie's one of "the brown," but hey if the shoe fits)
- Teresa Urrea, a Mexican folk saint (again with the brown) of uprisings, the homeless, the sick, revolution, and fucking MAYO PEOPLE lmao
- Seraphim Rose, a "Heiromonk" (monk/priest crossover.) I only include this guy because he has a troon name and comes from California, so he's almost genderspecial. Stephanie would 100% troon him out posthumously.
Honestly I'm feeling autistic, it'd be kind of fun to figure out the patron saints of her ghost harem. St. Julian the Hospitaller is the patron saint of murderers apparently, so we've already got one for Dahmer or Ramirez lol
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2024
This is my favorite flavor of autism. I for one am looking forward to the tardnun era. But you guys assume she's going to put any effort into the names, and they won't just be the names of Goetic demons because something something theyre kinda saints too doncha know.