You Know What Grinds My Gears? - Things that personally piss you off

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

How hard it is to get full and complete copies of my property insurance policies. When they send renewals, it's just a truncated thing. Been trying 2 days to get the full docs.

Are you fucking kidding me? I've had the policies for decades and they're saying they may not be able to send them bc it's been so long. Jfc, I want to read my full current coverage.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Well, it happened. I finally failed to clock a trans on public transit.

Bonus comedy: a determined Indian tourist either didn’t notice or didn’t care and kept hitting on they/them until he was told to go bother someone else.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

My cat just eats their legs and leaves their squirming bodies to flop around on the floor until I accidentally step on them or they dessicate and die. At least those legs are the worst part of them.

I can't let the cat in my room overnight, she'd try to pluck my eyebrows. She likely thinks those sad sparse hairs (from cat's view) aren't worth keeping and tries to spare me from embarassing myself. Maybe some cats follow the same logic with centipedes.

 

[Lady Bizness]

I can't let the cat in my room overnight, she'd try to pluck my eyebrows. She likely thinks those sad sparse hairs (from cat's view) aren't worth keeping and tries to spare me from embarassing myself. Maybe some cats follow the same logic with centipedes.

I used to have a cat that would lick my ears until they bled...and then keep licking. I loved that damn cat but definitely glad i was not old or infirm at the time. Certainly she would have eaten my face

 

[2mm and 99 others]

“Go hiking” has apparently become the thought terminating cliche e.g. "touch grass" or “take the grill pill,” except now it comes with unsolicited advice and a faint smell of online guys who haven’t seen daylight since Black Ops 6 launched, now suddenly evangelical about national parks.

My ''favourite'' subtype of such people are the ''proud introverts'' who advice to people who specifically search for hiking buddies, ''Go alone just like me, I don't need anyone and it's the best, nothing beats that''
First, literally nobody asked, alonefaggot.
Second, I don't see being alone for days only with my thoughts any appealing. Even if the trek isn't dangerous, I don't want to arrive every evening to an empty campsite , make the dinner and WAT NOU?

 

[McMitch]

My ''favourite'' subtype of such people are the ''proud introverts'' who advice to people who specifically search for hiking buddies, ''Go alone just like me, I don't need anyone and it's the best, nothing beats that''
First, literally nobody asked, alonefaggot.
Second, I don't see being alone for days only with my thoughts any appealing. Even if the trek isn't dangerous, I don't want to arrive every evening to an empty campsite , make the dinner and WAT NOU?

To quote my cousin when he described (willfully) living out of his car for six months: “guess I’m beatin’ off into the woods.”

 

[The Fair Lady]

I was sitting here a little bit ago, about ready to get off my computer to go do something, when I look over and see some fucking 2 inch house centipede chilling out on a wall next to my bed. Smash that fucker with a nearby tissue box and grind it into the wall to make sure it's dead, too many times in the past things have survived simple wackings. Gotta be fast about it too or these fuckers will dart off towards a corner. It falls into the space between my bed and wall and I have to move bed to collect its corpse and throw it away, plus grab some wipes to clean the legs and "juice" off my wall.

>b- but Retarded Weeb, house centipedes eat cockroaches and other pests, they dindu nuffin
Then they can do it outside and keep things from coming in. If I see any bug in my house then it's violated the NAP and I'm fucking smashing it. Fucking hate them so much. Total Insect Death.

I get these things in my basement, which is where my desk is and where I work from. Scare the shit out of me every time I see them skittering around.

 

[Captain Syrup]

It’s amazing how JFK conspiracy theories just shapeshift to match whatever institution someone happens to hate. Hoffa wanted him whacked. Oswald was a KGB asset. LBJ gave the order. Bush Sr. signed off. Ted Cruz’s dad pulled the trigger. Mossad aimed the rifle.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Fuck you, modernity.

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Oh we had all kinds of fun about 9 months ago. There's an HP plotter at one of the plants I work at. It'll go significant periods with little to no use and then maintenance or engineering will have a busy period with lots of big drawings/diagrams/docs getting printed.

The matte black cartridge ran out. Yellow, grey, and cyan were getting low and all cartridges were flagged expired, though docs were still decent. Plotters like this, aside from the usual CMY, have grey, matte black, and photo black or something similar.

Anyway, cartridges are a specific model. Internal procurement says same number but with an x at the end. Our service contractors say they cant provide what's in the plotter, dont remember why. But the 123x should work same as 123. Cartridges arrive and the plotter refuses to recognize them.

Ended up being advised by another of our IT people to pull off this part of the cartridge that has the HP Goy Chip and swap it with the part in the old cartridge. Plotter accepted it, but thinks ink is low because the chip is from the old cartridge. At least it prints, but now there's no reliable way to check ink. Oh well not my fault lol. Go bitch at procurement and my supervisor

 

[pippy]

People who don't want to ask for your attention but make loud noises or play a video at high volume near you waiting for a "what's that?" Usually homeless people that want attention, but it annoys the fuck out of me.

 

[Señora Airi]

Thread tax: Commercials with incompetent husbands, or the entire thing is about how dumb the husband is and his smug all-knowing wife gets to save the day. Gets more grating when the kid joins in on mom's smugness to show how much of a dumbass dad is. The whole entire incompetent dad trope as well, it can be funny if done right, but most of the time these days, it's not funny.

This isn't even trying to racebait, but notice how all the commercials with "incompetent" husbands tend to be white, but mixed race (CMWF) the husband seems to know what to do and be largely competent.

 

[Flatline]

I went to a party at a friend's apartment recently, and some of the attendees would stomp, stomp, stomp around the unit. The host asked them to take lighter steps because his downstairs neighbors were more than happy to snitch on him for noise, but the guests kept stomping like troglodytes.

 

[Captain Syrup]

This isn't even trying to racebait, but notice how all the commercials with "incompetent" husbands tend to be white, but mixed race (CMWF) the husband seems to know what to do and be largely competent.

Non-white culture still wants their husbands to be at least mildly macho and competent. White women want the same, but admitting it’s rude. If you go full trad, then the Hitler salutes start flying.

 

[ForgedBlades]

>buy a 5 lb. bag of saltwater taffy at Sam's Club
>a good 1/2 a pound is peppermint and black licorice flavor

Why? Who the fuck are those flavors for?

 

[Captain Syrup]

Got paid and briefly considered throwing ten bucks at some smut, just to feel something. Took one look at what counts as porn now and noped out. Hit me with your autism or overshare stickers, I do not care. We live in Hell.

1. Fart porn. It’s like glitter, once it shows up, it’s in every genre forever.
2. Topless but wearing pasties. Either commit or don’t. This isn’t Las Vegas.
3. Incest bait. Look, I get there is a legal grey area, but watching a 22-year-old pretend to be someone’s “stepmom” is the opposite of erotic.
4. If the thumbnail has a black woman. I swipe. Look, it’s not racism, it’s media criticism. Because their video quality looks like it was shot on a 2007 Boost Mobile. Latina content manages to look even worse.
5. Costumes! Fuck your Hooter waitress uniform which hasn’t been relevant since the Clinton administration. Fuck your Green Bay Packers jersey. Fuck Lady Dimitrescu in particular.
6. And then there's the pricing. A dozen interchangeable videos of you whispering “oops” while stuck in a laundry machine, but the moment someone asks for something even a little out of the ordinary, price triples like you're goddamned Disneyworld.

 

[Friendly Primarina]

Got paid and briefly considered throwing ten bucks at some smut, just to feel something. Took one look at what counts as porn now and noped out. Hit me with your autism or overshare stickers, I do not care. We live in Hell.

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1. Fart porn. It’s like glitter, once it shows up, it’s in every genre forever.
2. Topless but wearing pasties. Either commit or don’t. This isn’t Las Vegas.
3. Incest bait. Look, I get there is a legal grey area, but watching a 22-year-old pretend to be someone’s “stepmom” is the opposite of erotic.
4. If the thumbnail has a black woman. I swipe. Look, it’s not racism, it’s media criticism. Because their video quality looks like it was shot on a 2007 Boost Mobile. Latina content manages to look even worse.
5. Costumes! Fuck your Hooter waitress uniform which hasn’t been relevant since the Clinton administration. Fuck your Green Bay Packers jersey. Fuck Lady Dimitrescu in particular.
6. And then there's the pricing. A dozen interchangeable videos of you whispering “oops” while stuck in a laundry machine, but the moment someone asks for something even a little out of the ordinary, price triples like you're goddamned Disneyworld.

I'm not even horrified by the oversharing, more that someone pays for porn in A.D. 2025

 

[Captain Syrup]

I'm not even horrified by the oversharing, more that someone pays for porn in A.D. 2025

To be honest I don't think anybody does pay for porn anymore, so these sites stay up through server inertia. Half the OnlyFans accounts haven't been updated since the Tiger King.

 

[Captain Syrup]

It’s wild how these online lefties (not a huge bloc but way louder than their numbers) completely shut down any talk about actually fixing homelessness because they’re obsessed with the idea that no vagrant should ever be locked up. It’s like both sides have drunk the Kool-Aid that the state is just a blunt instrument of oppression, totally incapable of doing anything helpful.

It's the same paranoia you see around euthanasia debates.

 

[The Last Stand]

Got paid and briefly considered throwing ten bucks at some smut, just to feel something. Took one look at what counts as porn now and noped out. Hit me with your autism or overshare stickers, I do not care. We live in Hell.

You could've watched a Pre-Code movie and used your imagination.

This heat will be the death of me.

 

[Retarded Weeb]

When you're chewing some crunchy chips and one piece is just at the right (wrong) angle that it jabs into the gap between your tooth and gum.