James Rolfe / James D. Rolfe / Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) / Rex Viper and Cinemassacre / Screenwave - Now with not much grieving about a 41-year old man still making videos on YouTube. We're the balls on the dick.

Which videos do you like the most from Cinemassacre?

  • Angry Video Game Nerd

    Votes: 1,812 63.5%
  • You Know Whats Bullshit

    Votes: 143 5.0%
  • James and Mike Mondays

    Votes: 96 3.4%
  • Board James

    Votes: 441 15.5%
  • Monster Madness

    Votes: 270 9.5%
  • James' movie reviews

    Votes: 90 3.2%

  • Total voters
    2,852
Bimmy got mentioned in the Onion. :lol:
Link: AVGN Among Celebrities Coming Out As Gay
AngryVideoGayNerd.webp
 
It was pretty meh. In the first game part he seemingly jumps into death traps and then blames the game, if there is knockback it should have been the main complaint like in Ninja Gaiden. Second and third are usual very informative parts, though at least the Nerd has nostalgia for them.

It did make me wonder if Metroid was the origin of tranny speed running:
* Speed running a game as a concept.
* Reward is sexual gratification.
* Main character is opposite gender than she appears.
 
It did make me wonder if Metroid was the origin of tranny speed running:
No no no no no you do NOT get to connect NES games to trannies! Not everything is about trannies!

For me this was a nostalgia trip, tho at the same time I also had a bit of "AVGN just sucks at the game" feeling because none of the flaws he mentioned are really as damning, and when he complains about stuff like the spider ball not working (it is kind of quirky but there's a logic to it) or there being no rhythm to the space jump (there actually is), I'm like "you just suck."

Also when he had trouble getting out of that pool near the end of Metroid II, I was just saying "Spider Ball."
 
The segments where he was "panicking" falling into the lava weren't convincing, he just can't force the rage the way he used to, but you can tell he cares about what he's talking about because it's part of his personal history (and all the comparisons to films he loves). When he gets to Super Metroid, you see the real Nerd of old shine through. Yeah, he's bad at the games, but that's accurate to how a kid playing them back in the day would be. There were no "speedrunners" yet hyperoptimizing every bug and time save, we all just muddled through and maybe took a polaroid of our high score at the end. The original Metroid WAS pretty impenetrable unless you broke out the graph paper and shared notes with friends.
 
THE BABY

I was shocked when James said he struggled with the Space Jump and claims it's "just random." Even for a YouTuber that's some major sucking at the game.

Speaking of sucking, I had to keep adjusting my volume between the speaking parts and the music/yelling. James has been making YouTube videos for almost 20 years, how is he still this bad at it?
 
The original Metroid WAS pretty impenetrable unless you broke out the graph paper and shared notes with friends.
Was it? I beat it the first day I played it (I was using a Game Genie infinite health code, but that wouldn't absolve any complaints about getting lost). And I was playing it back when Metroid II was new. I never once broke out paper.

The main thing I recall needing outside help for was finding the Wave Beam, which is entirely optional.
 
It did make me wonder if Metroid was the origin of tranny speed running:
It was Doom that invented the concept with replays, then Quake which was the game speeddemosarchive.com was made for. If you ever wondered why there's so many trannies in Doom modding scene.
The segments where he was "panicking" falling into the lava weren't convincing
No, the rage is accurate. OG Metroid is not only a game full of screens that ALL. LOOK. EXACTLY. THE. SAME. making navigation almost impossible without a map on hand but it's one of those NES games where the hardware can't keep up with all that shit on the screen so there's lots of unexpected slowdowns. It's one of those games like Zelda where I wonder how it became popular in the first place as the gameplay consists of bombing every square possible like a jackass as there might be a secret passage there. At least unlike Zelda you get infinite bombs. Maybe if I was 7 again I'd like it; I played it as an adult for completeness sake as Super Metroid is one of my favs but I had no fun for the whole duration.
 
I can't find it now, I have to comb through the thousands of posts here, but a guy made an AVGN review using footage from James & Mike Mondays that was short and sweet.

Overall, I thought this episode was "pretty good." It feels like ChatGPT wrote the opening but once we finally get to the game itself it's good. I felt like the Grinch whose heart grows by just that much when James trashed the original Metroid. I agree. Come at me, fuccbois. The original Metroid aged badly. Romhacks have fixed a lot but overall I prefer the remake Zero Mission. I consider Zero Mission and Dread to be masterpieces and the very best of Metroidvanias. With the fan project AM2R being right behind them.

AM2R is a requirement to play if you love Metroid.
 
TheMexicanRunner (a speedrunner from Mexico, if you are slow in the mind and couldn't guess) has played and beaten every single official NES game in history, and he always said Metroid is one of the most frustratingly hard ones.

The game doesn't have level design; it is just corridors with unpredictable and glitchy enemies, the game runs at 3 frames per second on a good day, and the bosses are just dozens of unavoidable projectiles. The game is trash.
 
I can't find it now, I have to comb through the thousands of posts here, but a guy made an AVGN review using footage from James & Mike Mondays that was short and sweet.
That sounds awesome. Hopefully someone with more autism than me will search it up.

I felt like the Grinch whose heart grows by just that much when James trashed the original Metroid. I agree. Come at me, fuccbois.
I used to be able to beat OG Metroid in 45 minutes when I was a kid. I used the Justin Bailey code then grabbed the 1 remaining energy tank to fill up, grabbed the ice beam and finished off Mother Brain to get the bikini ending. It can be hard and boring if you start from scratch but it's no where near as ass as Kid Icarus was. :lol:

AM2R is a requirement to play if you love Metroid.
If you haven't, you should really try Hyper Metroid Super which just released a couple of months ago. It is amazing.
Link to Official Page
Link to RHDN Page
 
One thing that later Metroid games have is that almost every corridor has something at the end, even if it's just a recharge station or map station. So even if you don't find what you're looking for, you'll find something. By contrast there's a whole section in Kraid in the original that's completely useless (top right area). No powerups, nothing. In the remake it's where you activate the zip lines, and they added an E-tank and some missiles IIRC.
 
When Super Metroid came out I had never heard of the franchise (I was 68 years old in 1994; so sue me) and I distinctly remember at least one other kid on the bus acting all high and mighty that he played the previous titles and we were all ignorant plebs. So I'm glad to hear that the NES one isn't actually that great.

And as for the Gameboy one, I remember muttering under my breath even back then, "well it's a gameboy and not a real console so the game can't be that fucking great..."
 
When Super Metroid came out I had never heard of the franchise (I was 68 years old in 1994; so sue me) and I distinctly remember at least one other kid on the bus acting all high and mighty that he played the previous titles and we were all ignorant plebs. So I'm glad to hear that the NES one isn't actually that great.

And as for the Gameboy one, I remember muttering under my breath even back then, "well it's a gameboy and not a real console so the game can't be that fucking great..."
The fuck were you doing in school in your late 60s?
 
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