Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

[Oracular Slug]

Don’t you have to make sure babies lie in different positions so they don’t get a flat head, or is that an old wives tale?

That's not an old wives' tale, not doing it is how you end up needing a helmet to mold the skull. It's important you rotate your owl baby.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Don’t you have to make sure babies lie in different positions so they don’t get a flat head, or is that an old wives tale?

Sounds like someone hasn't been keeping up with Bex Gerber and her Minecraft baby!

Nothing genetically wrong with the kid. She just lives in a house with four adults, three of them her "parents," and nobody bothered to flip her now and then.

 

[WarpedTourWasFun]

That's not an old wives' tale, not doing it is how you end up needing a helmet to mold the skull. It's important you rotate your owl baby.

Risky click of the day, 100% worth it.

 

[Not_a_Doctor]

Risky click of the day, 100% worth it.

You can do this with chickens too!

 

[alogatog]

You can do this with chickens too!

Nature's gimbals.

 

[Ann Berlin]

Sorry if I'm a couple pages too late but why are there no articles about emotional support miniature horses? Are you guys ableist or something?? gawd

 

[InternetDramaFillsTheVoid]

I wholeheartedly concur. It’s like the love child of the moon and the Hindenburg only more horrific.

The love child of the moon and the Hindenburg WHILST it was crashing into the ground in a blazing inferno.

And even then, that’s not quite doing her justice.

 

[Breadbear]

Sorry if I'm a couple pages too late but why are there no articles about emotional support miniature horses? Are you guys ableist or something?? gawd

Like Abrea Hensley and her horse, Flirty?

 

[defamestrator]

Your wish is my command

Have I mentioned that I love you all?

Don't they know their pee will turn blue?

More Porphyria Sperging

I happily await some dumbass to plunk some blue dye into their pee, get green, and then present said photo as proof of porphyria.

She's so stupid when she says "I have porphyria." OMG. It's like saying I have hair in my belly button. Porphyria has at least 5 subtypes. There are mail order genetic tests with quick turnarounds for carrier status. Tons of people have one mutation for the hepatic porphyrias and don't get ill. Some very unlucky bastards (exhibit #WTF in why you don't fuck cousins) can get two mutations and are lucky to live into their late teens.

Too bad we can't have hepatic porphyria patients swap livers with these porphyria munchies without transplant side effects for patients. The patients would be cured and the munchies could get fucked up by porphyria.

 

[gampboonerisms]

Have I mentioned that I love you all?

Don't they know their pee will turn blue?

More Porphyria Sperging

I happily await some dumbass to plunk some blue dye into their pee, get green, and then present said photo as proof of porphyria.

She's so stupid when she says "I have porphyria." OMG. It's like saying I have hair in my belly button. Porphyria has at least 5 subtypes. There are mail order genetic tests with quick turnarounds for carrier status. Tons of people have one mutation for the hepatic porphyrias and don't get ill. Some very unlucky bastards (exhibit #WTF in why you don't fuck cousins) can get two mutations and are lucky to live into their late teens.

Too bad we can't have hepatic porphyria patients swap livers with these porphyria munchies without transplant side effects for patients. The patients would be cured and the munchies could get fucked up by porphyria.

I once had to take a medicine that turned urine blue to signal the other medicine had flushed all the way out. My mother yelled at me for spending 90 bucks on a fucking "turn pee blue" pill. Specifically, it had nothing to do with healing, just a marker.

Ah to have a mother yell at you for wasting money you can't afford to waste. "Doctor appt? For what! Do you have something WRONG? Does something hurt? What do you mean a check up? If you're not sick or dying, you don't go to the doctor".

That's not an old wives' tale, not doing it is how you end up needing a helmet to mold the skull. It's important you rotate your owl baby.

I'm feeling an urge to spend 10 dollars to get Josh to play this on stream.

 

[KeekLeFreaktheSneak]

She very much so reminds me of the weird head flaps on orangutans
View attachment 7576337

This is PERFECT!!!! as a professional in finding what these jerks remind me of… Epcot Center Head Jessie def has these flaps!

 

[Romeo814]

Chronic Illness is when Crayola crayons and happy munchie dance.

If anyone wants a copy, she's charging $50 for a 16x20 on Etsy.

Her pathetic chronic illness description dump is below. Its equally as pathetic as her drawing that looks like it was stolen from a pediatric oncology ward.

 

[Equus quagga]

The TikTok munchie civil war has kicked off again, and it’s just as embarrassing as ever. The sickfluencers are eating each other alive, screeching about “misinformation” like any of them have ever posted a medically accurate thought. Its very entertaining watching them gang up on each other like white blood cells on a chronic Lyme infection.

Enter Dave. If you've never heard of her, that’s fine—no one has. She’s a background NPC who never misses a chance to butt into any munchie meltdown. Fun fact! Dave claims to be in nonstop agony from a dozen made-up genetic and chronic conditions but still found the strength to get pregnant for the attention points. Because nothing says “I’m too sick to function” like deciding to create a whole-ass baby while live-tweeting your stomach pain and begging strangers to call you brave.

Anyway, back to the mess. Dave is now convinced that other spoonie creators are lurking this thread and citing it as a source in their clap back videos. There’s zero proof of that, of course—so either Dave’s taken too much Benadryl, or she’s beefing with the voices in her head. Naturally, she took the opportunity to post a warning about how Kiwi Farms is full of “white supremacist, Nazi, transmisogynistic doxxers.” The usual canned outrage from idiots who make a living off of being the sickest girls on the internet.


And now it’s post-worthy because chronic illness prom queen, Rad Zebra, decided to chime in with a melodramatic "" to acknowledge her KF debut. You’d think she’d be thrilled—she’s spent years desperately trying to be known for her Olympic-level illness cosplay. Isn’t this what she wanted? Recognition? Validation? Attention from strangers online? She should be thankful.

 

[Not_a_Doctor]

Another one larping intestinal failure while looking extremely well nourished. I don’t have TikTok so I can’t dive deeper into her rabbit hole of lies. Good spot on the Rad Zebra appearance.

And Basil, hi No one likes you.

 

[Equus quagga]

Another one larping intestinal failure while looking extremely well nourished.

Not only extremely well nourished but eating for two!

I don’t have TikTok so I can’t dive deeper into her rabbit hole of lies.

“Dave” is actually named Jessica. On TikTok, she goes by Dave and uses they/them pronouns, claiming to be nonbinary only when its performative and convenient. Offline, though, it’s back to Jessica with she/her pronouns, because apparently that’s just easier. The whole thing would be more convincing if she hadn’t accidentally introduced herself as Jessica to a follower in real life. Like I said, performative and convenient.

She inserts herself into every bit of drama in the chronic illness battles of TikTok, no matter how irrelevant her opinion is. The rest of her content is a boring mix of disability martyrdom, vague political takes about how impossible it is to survive in “trump’s amerikkka,” and now, insufferable pregnancy updates, because being "terminally ill" wasn’t getting enough external validation on its own.

Good spot on the Rad Zebra appearance.

I'm always on the lookout for chronic attention seekers yapping over each other.

And Basil, hi No one likes you

Hopefully Basil still keeps tabs on KF and returns to give us all a tongue lashing about being hateful, transphobic, ableist bullies.

 

[Polychromos]

And now it’s post-worthy because chronic illness prom queen, Rad Zebra, decided to chime in with a melodramatic "" to acknowledge her KF debut. You’d think she’d be thrilled—she’s spent years desperately trying to be known for her Olympic-level illness cosplay. Isn’t this what she wanted? Recognition? Validation? Attention from strangers online? She should be thankful.

"Chronically horizontal" might be the worst username of the chronically variety.

 

[Not_a_Doctor]

because being “terminally ill” wasn’t getting enough external validation on its own

Oh my word, why on earth does she claim to be terminal?! And she is having a crotch goblin?! If she was genuinely terminally ill or had intestinal failure, procreating would be such a reckless thing to do. I guess it’s yet another way to seek attention.

"Chronically horizontal" might be the worst username of the chronically variety.

They are ALL THE SAME. All chronically this and chronically that, warrior this, zebra that. They’ve all purchased the same identikit personality off the shelf.

In other news, I finished The Woman Who Fooled the World and it was an excellent read - highly recommend. It explored the honeycomb of lies that Belle Gibson sold to the world, but also looked at the people that enabled her, and failed to do their due diligence.

The most heart-breaking and rage inducing chapters were where the authors juxtapose Belle’s fiction with real stories of women who were living what she was pretending to survive and it is brutal. I mean, we all know cancer is just fucked, but I didn’t really know much about the specifics of brain cancer, the dire prognoses and the lack of treatment. All of these snowflake illness actors have a special place in hell waiting for them for comparing the self-imposed inconveniences of pretending to be sick to what someone dealing with metastatic cancer is going through.

The book also explores a bit of the story around Jess Ainscough who promoted Gerson Therapy as a cure for her cancer. She refused treatment and died 7 years later, and also convinced her mother to not get treated when she was diagnosed with treatable breast cancer, and she also died. There’s not as much out there on her which is a shame as I would like to read more.

 

[Zemblan Physics]

Invitation to once again come point and laugh at Vicky Markhoff, the upside down power-chair pooner munchie. She recently began coveting a myasthenia gravis-diagnosis and lo and behold! A non-diagnostic test was positive! This has led to some hilarious ongoing histrionics i.e. Vicky's larping as George Floyd, breathing with her back muscles and attempting to communicate through ascending or descending groans. Enjoy!

 

[Not_a_Doctor]

Thank you for this gift @Zemblan Physics I have time to kill today and this will be good entertainment.

On death’s door but still tweeting up a storm. Doesn’t seem to have any altered status from not being able to breathe. I feel so sorry for the poor medical professionals stuck looking after her when everyone else is out eating hotdogs and watching fireworks or whatever it is you folks do for 4th of July…

 

[SpaceNigga01]

Days like this I really do miss AJ. Her flavor or munchie was fun and honestly kinda interesting at the time versus the copy paste same old EDS,POTS ,Gastroparesis AND MCAS ambulatory wheelchair user in whatever new hideous TiLite color with the stickers plastered all over.