I'm a burger who spent a long time adjacent to people of that employment status in the bay area. they're inner party. their employment conditions are very, very cush.
Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"
- Thread starter CobraPlissken
- Start date
I'm a burger who spent a long time adjacent to people of that employment status in the bay area. they're inner party. their employment conditions are very, very cush.
FarmVille
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
Lol I love that in the Bay Area, home of tech employees who make 500k stock options for 15 hours a week of work, a prof pulling in 90k in the English department is very, very cush. Very elite employment status.
Joe is poor. His status is peon. When he chooses his insurance options every year he goes through whatever management system ucb uses and selects individual coverage to save money.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2021
I don't know which is the odder thing to believe here, that there are people getting paid big money for not working outside of the government or that tenured professors at UC don't have departmental staff and hella perks. I mean they're not the top, that's the high level admin, but that's not what you mean here.
FarmVille
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
Someone as status obsessed as joe would let everyone know if he in fact was getting hella perks. The only thing about him that’s ”cushy” is his ever-expanding jowls.
There’s a reason for the vague blogging about UC *transphobia* and job abandonment -he feels like a loser.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
Joe is forever angry that probably more than half his students get allowances/trust funds/stipends/financial aid packages that provide better standard of living and more designer clothing than his salary does. (This, on top of them not wanting to have sex with him, makes teaching a form of torture.)
Housing options for Bay Area Power Throuple
I don’t know the details about Lilly selling her house, but if it’s paid off that means maybe walking away with $80k (after taxes, fees and costs) which would allow her to rent a nice three bedroom in the Bay Area for a year.
Even if they found a “cheap” house for a million, the $7k a month mortgage plus another $12k in annual property taxes seems beyond the professor and newly minted CNA salary. The median price for a two bedroom home there is $1.5 million. With current interest rates and his moaning about debts, renting would be the only option. Joe is the only one with a steady employment and I don’t see him getting a $800k mortgage.
I’d assume Lilly will eventually get a job of some sort too, but probably sees the house sale as a temp life boat. Idk when her paychecks stopped, but I’m assuming she will have accrued debt between then and the eventual house sale she will need to pay off too.
Luckily, I have found a solution. Here is an affordable 900 square foot house, with lots of charm and quality red wood. Yard for dogs and kids. Even lots of kitchen space with the kind of cabinet storage made for fermenting jars. Needs work but great bones. Authentic American craftsman charm. Only $275k. I think Joe could get approved for a $300k mortgage loan.
The downsides: No appliances. Cedar shingle siding needs replaced. Soffits are fucked and probably the roof too. Oh, and it’s located in Antioch. It’s a long BART commute for Joe, but Rocco could have a real shot at getting recruited for the top and most dominant street gangs in NoCal. He would become fluent in Spanish and Ebonics by second grade. The public school system would give him an immersive multicultural education, the vital experience of living as a minority and avoid benefiting from white privilege.
Even if they found a “cheap” house for a million, the $7k a month mortgage plus another $12k in annual property taxes seems beyond the professor and newly minted CNA salary. The median price for a two bedroom home there is $1.5 million. With current interest rates and his moaning about debts, renting would be the only option. Joe is the only one with a steady employment and I don’t see him getting a $800k mortgage.
I’d assume Lilly will eventually get a job of some sort too, but probably sees the house sale as a temp life boat. Idk when her paychecks stopped, but I’m assuming she will have accrued debt between then and the eventual house sale she will need to pay off too.
Luckily, I have found a solution. Here is an affordable 900 square foot house, with lots of charm and quality red wood. Yard for dogs and kids. Even lots of kitchen space with the kind of cabinet storage made for fermenting jars. Needs work but great bones. Authentic American craftsman charm. Only $275k. I think Joe could get approved for a $300k mortgage loan.
The downsides: No appliances. Cedar shingle siding needs replaced. Soffits are fucked and probably the roof too. Oh, and it’s located in Antioch. It’s a long BART commute for Joe, but Rocco could have a real shot at getting recruited for the top and most dominant street gangs in NoCal. He would become fluent in Spanish and Ebonics by second grade. The public school system would give him an immersive multicultural education, the vital experience of living as a minority and avoid benefiting from white privilege.
Autistic Nonetheless
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 26, 2024
Joe is generally bitter at the world for not showering him with all the praise and success he's been due ever since he won the spelling bee at age 12 . He also bitter at society for not conforming to his gender norms, at the US for being fascist and imperialist, at Mal for turning into a embarrassing pooner, and at every person with power over him for existing.
He is so mad you could even say he is ... surly.
He is so mad you could even say he is ... surly.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
Free, reliable childcare has already been mentioned. The value of that cannot be overstated.
There's also the fact that Mal is far and away the most successful of the three and the one with the most promising future professionally. Joe and Lily aren't getting their publications reviewed in The New York Times; the only reason anyone knows who *they* are is because of New York Magazine's look-at-these-weird-perverts anthropological study, and even then, Mal was the way in. The CNA stuff is a day job. Mal is a published author of literary fiction who goes on national book tours. Her literary voice being grating is not the hurdle people seem to think it is; I'd argue she's much better than, say, Ocean Vuong, probably the most acclaimed American fiction author of the past few years despite being incapable of writing an un-mixed metaphor.
Point is, there are good reasons to stay in Mal's camp. She has a future; without her, Joe and Lily do not.
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2023
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2019
The self-consciously "writerly" way this twee dork writes is revolting. And the pat moralism. "You can only learn so much about people sitting in front of your computer." You don't say. Never fails to offend when I remember she gets paid for this shit.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
I’m curious if the throuple is taking a summer break from each other or maybe something else? Has there been any indication where they are living? I think they would have moved out of the Oakland AirBnB shack in June.
Mallory seems really eager to scratch that care taking itch that she has acquired, almost like there is a void there now.
To be fair I could not imagine hunting for a place to live in the Bay Area on a limited budget for 3 adults and a toddler. Obviously they have been there for months and you’d think they’d have a plan in place after the rental was over, but they have proven to have very limited adult living skills unless Substack is shoveling them six figures or getting a loan from Nicole. I get the idea the big plan was Lilly selling her house to get them some cash but that’s taking longer than expected and they are up shit creek till it happens.
Im not sure what kind of plans you could even make if it’s contingent on the house closing in MI. Joe and Lilly certainly dont have a network of friends to stitch things together over the summer.
Has Joe indicated they’ve returned to Oakland from the cross country adventure? A cheap airbnb somewhere in the sticks might be their solution for housing this summer.
Mallory seems really eager to scratch that care taking itch that she has acquired, almost like there is a void there now.
To be fair I could not imagine hunting for a place to live in the Bay Area on a limited budget for 3 adults and a toddler. Obviously they have been there for months and you’d think they’d have a plan in place after the rental was over, but they have proven to have very limited adult living skills unless Substack is shoveling them six figures or getting a loan from Nicole. I get the idea the big plan was Lilly selling her house to get them some cash but that’s taking longer than expected and they are up shit creek till it happens.
Im not sure what kind of plans you could even make if it’s contingent on the house closing in MI. Joe and Lilly certainly dont have a network of friends to stitch things together over the summer.
Has Joe indicated they’ve returned to Oakland from the cross country adventure? A cheap airbnb somewhere in the sticks might be their solution for housing this summer.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2016
For me it's the way she constantly talks about how she's very insane and constantly wallowing in self-pity but her entire writing voice is self-consciously constructed to make sure she sounds constantly perky to an almost manic degree. It's incredibly fake because she even says outright that it's all a mask and that whoever she actually is, isn't the person she pretends to be when she writes.
again you people are not living in reality. Joe doesn't get to just teach grad seminars - not that "more than half" of grad students in a humanities program at berkeley is living some kind of lavish trust fund life - many of his students are undergrads. most people who are undergraduates at UCs are the graduates of california public high schools - this is literally part of the CA state constitution - and the reason they're at the best one is their grades and test scores. you're imagining stanford or cal tech or (may allah forgive me) occidental, not berkeley.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
Out of the whopping three classes he taught exactly one was a basic undergrad course this spring. The other was “special study” for doctoral students and the other a “research seminar” for upper division English majors.
I stand by my opinion that at least half of his student enjoy a better standard of living than Joe. It’s probably a underestimate since Joe lived in a 700 sq foot, 2 bedroom, 1 bath rental shack with two other adults, and a toddler, the entire spring semester. Any dorm with AC is superior to that living situation.
I don’t know if Joe receives the same salary regardless of his course load, or lack of one, but if so he’s managed to find the absolute bare minimum required to get his paycheck.
FarmVille
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
lol not as many as Stanford but denying uc berkeley has a high percentage of well-to-do brats is ridiculous.
I don’t know why you keep posting as if you’re some kind of insider when you’re clearly, clearly not.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2019
Nothing from Joe except his usual torrent of reposts in Instagram stories (twinks, memes, 9/11 jokes).
As of yesterday, Lumberjack Dan appears to still be in Sonoma County with the dogs.
And Lily's house is still under contract. Surely if they're gonna close it'll be any day now, right?
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Never fails to offend anytime I see anyone think this twee jackass freak is even remotely competent in writing, yet, yeah... she gets paid for her barely coherent toilet paper and her piss warm dipshitted takes on the SHATner.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
Why are all these Californians infighting over who's more Californian and has more super secret Californian knowledge about California? It's even weirder than all those Buffaloes that were in here last week.
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2023
Though I fear the wit of Dr. Butt (always) I have some not totally up-to-the-minute data to present in a congenial way.
In the recent past, the median income for Berkeley students' families was $119,900. To measure up, Joe needs to dunce at Irvine during the summer, cherish whatever the advance was on his Toklas knock-off, and flog his hottest fashion finds on Poshmark despite the high cost of Febreze.
More than half of Berkeley students were from families in the 20% or higher income brackets versus 7.3% of students from the bottom 20%.
As for the share of students from families with income in the top 1%, UC Berkeley ranked 5th among 27 highly selective public universities with 3.8%. U Michigan ranked first (9.3%), followed by U Texas Austin, U Georgia, and Texas A&M.
UC Berkeley ranked 10th in terms of median family income with that $119,900. U Michigan again ranked first at $154,000. In between in descending order were Virginia Tech, Texas A&M, Georgia Tech, U Georgia, Ramapo, SUNY Geneseo, U Texas Austin, and Colorado School of Mines.
Share of students from the bottom 20% of families? UC Berkeley ranked 6th with 7.3%. UC San Diego led with 11%, followed by Stony Brook, UC Irvine, U Texas Dallas, and UC Santa Barbara.
In terms of abodes, they do have the option of renting another shack instead of buying a house right now. If you ask Apartments.com for 3 bedrooms and pet friendly, for instance, up come a couple in Oakland over on the Emeryville side around $3k/mo with others scattered around the wider map within a manageable commuting distance of UC Berkeley.
That rent would not give Joe much food or fashion to despoil, but Mal brings in some bucks with Substack plus books. Lilz may have found a job starting in fall that we don't know about yet.
Maybe they've leased something they can afford with some scrimping but had a gap over the summer. Hey, Mal you go squat with your mop dogs in your Sonoma friend's place and we'll drive off to the cheaper Midwest motels to deal with the Lansing house.
They then rented a storage pod, crammed it in Oakland with whatever personal goods they had had in the shack; rented another pod in Lansing, crammed it; and dream of the day they can have all their pods delivered to their very own forest fermentation shack.
In the recent past, the median income for Berkeley students' families was $119,900. To measure up, Joe needs to dunce at Irvine during the summer, cherish whatever the advance was on his Toklas knock-off, and flog his hottest fashion finds on Poshmark despite the high cost of Febreze.
More than half of Berkeley students were from families in the 20% or higher income brackets versus 7.3% of students from the bottom 20%.
As for the share of students from families with income in the top 1%, UC Berkeley ranked 5th among 27 highly selective public universities with 3.8%. U Michigan ranked first (9.3%), followed by U Texas Austin, U Georgia, and Texas A&M.
UC Berkeley ranked 10th in terms of median family income with that $119,900. U Michigan again ranked first at $154,000. In between in descending order were Virginia Tech, Texas A&M, Georgia Tech, U Georgia, Ramapo, SUNY Geneseo, U Texas Austin, and Colorado School of Mines.
Share of students from the bottom 20% of families? UC Berkeley ranked 6th with 7.3%. UC San Diego led with 11%, followed by Stony Brook, UC Irvine, U Texas Dallas, and UC Santa Barbara.
In terms of abodes, they do have the option of renting another shack instead of buying a house right now. If you ask Apartments.com for 3 bedrooms and pet friendly, for instance, up come a couple in Oakland over on the Emeryville side around $3k/mo with others scattered around the wider map within a manageable commuting distance of UC Berkeley.
That rent would not give Joe much food or fashion to despoil, but Mal brings in some bucks with Substack plus books. Lilz may have found a job starting in fall that we don't know about yet.
Maybe they've leased something they can afford with some scrimping but had a gap over the summer. Hey, Mal you go squat with your mop dogs in your Sonoma friend's place and we'll drive off to the cheaper Midwest motels to deal with the Lansing house.
They then rented a storage pod, crammed it in Oakland with whatever personal goods they had had in the shack; rented another pod in Lansing, crammed it; and dream of the day they can have all their pods delivered to their very own forest fermentation shack.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Wonder whatever happened to that overpriced, no-one-needs-one-ever Japanese fermenter thing he used to make his Tromaville tiered culinary abominations with (I know--he only mentioned using it ONCE)?
A landfill somewhere? Gee, that's not sustainable!
A landfill somewhere? Gee, that's not sustainable!