Alcoholism Support Thread - Down the hatch

[Sparkletor 2.0]

One thing about sobriety is that a lot of people champion it as something that will immediately and immeasurably improve your life. I think this is a bit of false advertising to be honest and was something I touched on in this post if you haven't read it already - when I first tried being sober a few years back I didn't find any magical improvement because there were a host of issues that were still the same. Even if you have a brilliant support network and all of that and even great friends that care about you, it alone won't magically fix things and make you a happier person. For that it requires a bit of introspection and patience and an actual game plan. You really have to sit down and think about what you want in life and also what you don't want.

Post in thread 'Alcoholism Support Thread'

Jun 14, 2025

Just writing this in the hope that it maybe resonates with someone else out there. It kind of outlines the relationship that I had with alcohol and why it worked so well for me - its a bit unstructured but whatever:

Before I became sober I didn't really seek out information personally about the benefits of it but often came across people on my timelines and in my personal life who said it had worked out for them and why - there certainly wasn't any one single thing that pushed me over the edge or made me believe "hey this single thing this one person is saying makes sense and I'm going to...

• neger psykolog

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This is something I also hear a lot and I have found from personal experience that it is most often not the truth.
You get Joe who has been sober for a while month and he starts saying how his life is 100% better. His wife took him back, his probation officer is proud of him, he has been saving money, everything is perfect now!
But Joe hasn't changed any of his own behaviors. He is just seeing people who support him trying to help. Inevitably something in his life will upset him and he's going to fuck up and you won't see him around again.
It's the people who teach that you need to learn to accept life on life's terms that I find most helpful. Life is going to suck sometimes in sobriety. The key is learning how to deal with it without drinking.
Most every alcoholic is a liar by habit. When someone tells you how life is magically perfect when they stop drinking is not telling the truth. Drinking is only a symptom of a bigger underlying problem and if that doesn't get addressed, life isn't going to improve by much.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Life is going to suck sometimes in sobriety. The key is learning how to deal with it without drinking.

This is the hardest pill for most alcoholics and addicts to swallow: life still sucks sometimes, especially when you have a bad attitude or continue to make stupid decisions. What you must do is figure out how to change yourself so that you have a healthier outlook, make better decisions, and you absolutely have to accept the times in your sober life when things suck. It is okay to feel angry, anxious, depressed, scared, stressed, cynical, all of it. What you can't do is drink or use drugs to cope because it sets you down a very destructive path.

Most alcoholics/addicts need to learn emotional resilience.

 

[ASCHQ]

It is okay to feel angry, anxious, depressed, scared, stressed, cynical, all of it. What you can't do is drink or use drugs to cope because it sets you down a very destructive path.

...learn emotional resilience.

My 2¢ is it's admitting your own situation/genetics/brain-pathways are not designed for (or functional with) substances, and that everyone doesn't have the same problem (or to the same degree). Then you can realize it's nothing to feel low about since frying braincells isn't a skill but a useless recreation, like huffing paint or taking HRT.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

My 2¢ is it's admitting your own situation/genetics/brain-pathways are not designed for (or functional with) substances, and that everyone doesn't have the same problem (or to the same degree). Then you can realize it's nothing to feel low about since frying braincells isn't a skill but a useless recreation, like huffing paint or taking HRT.

Ron Bennington put it another way: everyone's got a certain number of drinks they can have. Some people never hit it before they die, others reach that point quickly.

 

[MAAAD]

Ouch. My calf muscles began to hurt during the last few hang-overs. The pain passes off along with the hang-over so it's not bothering me otherwise, but I guess it's time to stop drinking all by myself. Only social drinking and exercising for me from now on.

 

[Tin Foil Hatter]

anyone here look into naltrexone? My doctor listed that as an option but i have dialed back my drinking a LOT. Part of what helped was obsessive levels of calorie counting, like using measuring cups and tablespoons for servings, so i saw the hooch as wasted calories. I guess chaining the sobriety with other activities and goals helps, but what scares me is if i fall out of those habits will i relapse?

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Naltrexone works for some people but my concern about it is some people take it long-term. Maybe it's the AA in me, but that seems like a crutch. If it works then great, but the ideal is transitioning to unassisted sober living.

A lot of alcoholics busy themselves so they don't relapse. My suggestion, amateur as it is, is to find a relaxing habit that you enjoy. Even if it's something as simple as sitting at your window and people-watching, it's good to have something passive like that to fall back on if you're bored.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Most alcoholics/addicts need to learn emotional resilience.

People need to, period. "Lmao need my redbull at 7am! I only smoke off work lol.. Uhh it's just a funny little mobile game!". I've seen early-30s parents walk around on their phone, headphones on, as their kid runs in front of them begging for attention. Grandmas at my workplace talking about how it's completely impossible to raise a kid these days without a phone or tablet. I've no kids so I can't really speak on it, but if you're already addicted to doomscrolling, coffee and parties at 34, your "daddy needs time off too!" rings hollow.

A lot of alcoholics busy themselves so they don't relapse. My suggestion, amateur as it is, is to find a relaxing habit that you enjoy. Even if it's something as simple as sitting at your window and people-watching, it's good to have something passive like that to fall back on if you're bored.

If you're sober but every day is a struggle, alcohol still controls your life. t. south park. Thankfully Ive only the urge on friday nights and the last two times have been miserable. Not even the drunk TF2 appeals to me anymore cause I realized how dreadful it is even sober. I'd much rather lull myself into that fantasy world of sitting down with a good rpg and going to bed early so I can be productive and gamed-out by 9am on a saturday.

If you base your life on avoiding embarrassing shit, you'll quickly stop staring down into your phone or waking up with cut shins and bruised knees after a 'fun night' of drinking alone.

 

[neger psykolog]

Thankfully Ive only the urge on friday nights and the last two times have been miserable. Not even the drunk TF2 appeals to me anymore cause I realized how dreadful it is even sober. I'd much rather lull myself into that fantasy world of sitting down with a good rpg and going to bed early so I can be productive and gamed-out by 9am on a saturday.

There really is a clarity once you stop drinking and some old hobbies, activities and groups of people no longer make a person happy.

Good on you for realizing how things are going though. Keep it up.

 

[dick brain]

Showed up in my subscriptions today so here you go. Nothing new to me but it might help somebody.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

If you're sober but every day is a struggle, alcohol still controls your life.

If you're sober but every day is a struggle with alcohol, then yeah, alcohol still controls your life. If life is hard, though, that's just life. Life is a struggle sometimes but working through it without alcohol is the goal.

Also: relapse dreams are annoying. I get them all the time and my dreams are vivid, so I wake up thinking for a good couple of seconds that I drank again or lied about my sobriety. Lots of guys get them but goddamn if they aren't stressful.

 

[Jerk Sausage]

If you're sober but every day is a struggle with alcohol, then yeah, alcohol still controls your life. If life is hard, though, that's just life. Life is a struggle sometimes but working through it without alcohol is the goal.

Also: relapse dreams are annoying. I get them all the time and my dreams are vivid, so I wake up thinking for a good couple of seconds that I drank again or lied about my sobriety. Lots of guys get them but goddamn if they aren't stressful.

I've only had a few drinking dreams, but yea it's strange feeling like you broke for the first few moments of the day. It's such a relief after the momentary panic wears off though.

And I know you're aware Johnny, but that's what they call "dry drunks". Abstaining from alcohol is only one part of recovery. I've never met a saint who was perfect in every way, except for that one crippling addiction. There's something else in my life and every addict's life that is causing them to seek the short solution of feeling different. The personal inventory, challenging my:

• Habits (what do I do everyday?)
• Thoughts (what do I talk to myself about?)
• Beliefs (who's in control here?)
• Behaviors (how can i do things better?)
• Actions (am I doing the things I want?)
• Reactions (how do i respond to things I don't expect?)
• Sins (am I being a truly good boy?)
• Relationships (am I taking advantage of anyone, or taking anyone for granted?)

etc etc, those are the real things to assess, challenge, make steps to improve, talk to other people about, talk to God about, and so on.

If you're sober and miserable, it's not the absence of alcohol/substances making you miserable.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

And I know you're aware Johnny, but that's what they call "dry drunks".

Yeah, but you already answered it:

If you're sober and miserable, it's not the absence of alcohol/substances making you miserable.

Abstaining from drugs and alcohol is the first step to realizing that you may be an asshole/idiot and that's what makes your life harder.

 

[Lovely Kin]

• Reactions (how do i respond to things I don't expect?)

Reactions and behaviors are what does it for me, especially reactions and the feelings that emerge from both. Whenever I feel frustrated or something out of control, I rush to the thing that makes me feel good (drinking). Sometimes the urge is very strong, and whenever I feel that way, I try to reason with myself, and confront what I'm feeling. If it's really bad, music usually has been helping.

 

[dick brain]

Abstaining from drugs and alcohol is the first step to realizing that you may be an asshole/idiot and that's what makes your life harder.

I think that's an oversimplification. I don't think I'm an asshole or an idiot for having PTSD for example, or for having relied on alcohol to function like a normal person. I don't even feel like an asshole or an idiot for fucking my life up, because I got further doing something unsustainable than I should have, and I had to see it fail in order to accept that it wasn't sustainable. But I agree in a general sense, vices are a way to avoid discomfort but in avoiding discomfort you also avoid growth and healing.

"Finding happiness within yourself is difficult. Finding it outside yourself is impossible." Or whatever.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

There really is a clarity once you stop drinking and some old hobbies, activities and groups of people no longer make a person happy.

Good on you for realizing how things are going though. Keep it up.

I am however drinking! Haha. This sucks.

Anyway. I mean, sure I'm struggling with drinking and actively combat it, but I'm not out sucking dick for a beer or what have you. I bruise a knee at the end of a night or throw in the towel early, like today, cause clearly ain't shit happening. I think the mental stress over being sober does more damage to me than the physical, which is primarily why I want to be sober.

I went shopping and looked around, seeing young couples with kids. It made me realize how embarrassing this is. I'd never drink around a partner let alone friends. The second a girlfriend got pregnant I'd cold-turkey quit. Both in support and "I am not gonna be a deadbeat mf'er". My parents went to a party -once- 30 meters down the road and them returning slightly buzzed, as in 3-4 beers, was weird to me.

I claim that I drink out of boredom which is true, but I also need some kind of motivation not to. I think if you lived life in way of "don't be embarrassing", you'd do well. No drinking, no weeding, no smartphoning. Be present, be alive.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

The second a girlfriend got pregnant I'd cold-turkey quit.

I don't think that is something you need to worry about.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

I decided to drink this 4th of july and pushed off the toilet tank lid onto the floor and broke it while I was drunk so now I have to go get another fucking tank lid.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

I decided to drink this 4th of july and pushed off the toilet tank lid onto the floor and broke it while I was drunk so now I have to go get another fucking tank lid.

At least you didn't do what I used to do, which was get blasted drunk, decide to take a shower, slip, hit my head, and give myself a concussion.

I spent the 4th with family, which is always a little stressful because everyone in my family drinks excessively. There is no desire to drink - that has been taken away - but I'm always worried that everyone will get sloppy drunk and I'll have to play babysitter. The hardest part is finding something that isn't alcoholic to drink. Now that everyone sells drinks that look normal but are spiked, I have to check it unless I'm drinking tap water.

I hope everyone had a safe 4th of July. If you spent it sober, even better.

 

[neger psykolog]

Had an emotional moment the other day that was dealing with a situation involving loss/cancer and a lot of other significant things on top of it. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like being drunk to try and escape dealing with the emotional turmoil. I didn't drink and powered through the emotions and sadness that came across me.

It definitely hits differently when you no longer drink and you have an emotional situation and used to go through life being a drunkard and just going to the bottom of a bottle to deal with sadness.

It's been a day or two and I have no thoughts about drinking alcohol but it was definitely a moment that made me realize how alcohol was just a crutch that I inadvertently leaned on heavily simply because I would previously drink every day. I paused and processed the emotions and battled through it - feeling sadness and loss with a clear mind definitely hits differently but its possible to let it out and process it in all in a healthy way.

RIP to the person involved in this loss and cancer really sucks hard - the battle with it is bad enough and the worst battle to see in person but there are moments years later where it comes up again and hits hard and deep in your soul.