Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Marc]

The tard ball genuinely seems to have convinced himself that only what's eaten on camera counts toward the diet (though he consistently fucks even that up). There's simply no way ascites fluid can account for his ever-increasing mass. Even being as sedentary as he insists on being, there's no way he can ingest enough calories each day to sustain his morbid obesity without carb-loading and lying about it while everyone in his vicinity rolls their eyes at the giant, lying baby.

Hammy herself is fucking enormous because she eats any time Jack eats; and Jack makes feeding him her full-time job. God - The funniest arc of all might be waiting for us if Tammy goes first from a heart attack brought on by Jack's self-destructive lifestyle. There's zero chance Jack wouldn't respond to the loss of his live-in chauffeur, ass-wiper, and meal ticket by doubling down and screaming at Junior and Brianne to fill the void by babying him instead of their own kid. It would be enough to bait me into watching every video.

 

[densedance]

What a cunt.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Even if you were to use booze to flamb food, jack daniels is such a weird choice.

After a few shots of Jack Daniel's, Jack becomes the flambe.

The funniest arc of all might be waiting for us if Tammy goes first from a heart attack brought on by Jack's self-destructive lifestyle. There's zero chance Jack wouldn't respond to the loss of his live-in chauffeur, ass-wiper, and meal ticket by doubling down and screaming at Junior and Brianne to fill the void by babying him instead of their own kid.

I don't see Jr. ever taking him in like Frasier did with Martin, and Brianna clearly is just embarrassed and polite in Jack's videos but also doesn't like him. I know her kind. If Jack goes first Jr. will wheel him into a pauper's grave and it'll be business as usual in the Scalfani extended universe; maybe if Jack's lucky they'll spring for a low-end funeral with a cheap headstone that has all Jack's socials and merch links. Tammy will feign sorrow while quietly celebrating in her mind that now she can legally marry her bull in the eyes of Godbear.

If the Scalfani matriarch goes first, when Jack inevitably gets knocked off his mortal coil Hope will be well-fed for the next few months.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

It's not like there was a money printing IP movie you saw recently that happened to come out a week prior

It's amazing how confidently Jack can speak on things while being so dumb

 

[Tiresome]

I don't see Jr. ever taking him in

There's no taking in, they practically live on top of each other on the same land. Jack will wander into Jr and Brianna's house whenever he feels like it and plop down to start farting into a couch and never leave.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

What a cunt.

View attachment 7610108

It couldn't have anything to do with Trump gutting funding to NWS. No, according to this fat retard it's gotta be a conspiracy

 

[ZipDisk]

Is Jack implying floods are antifa action?

GOD DAMN ANTIFA BEAVERS, DEPORT THEM!

I know I already said this, but Briana is a church raised non opinion having girl. She's like those malformed dogs that cops find houses full of. Even came with degenerative medical conditions. The Scalfani's essentially purchased her and did everything they could to get Junior to impregnate her so she can never run.
That may have been one of the most grotesque things that Jack has "cheered on" and he's always been a fucking doozy.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Such a tolerant guy



Priorities Jack



Elon sperging





Jack out here acting like he doesn't eat slop



Look at this spectrum of tweets



Jack again acting like he hasn't been sucking Disneys dick for months and wouldn't give Elio a 5/5 but heard a gay person would've been in it so he skipped

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Look at this spectrum of tweets

The man is such a fucking retard it almost hurts to read his tweets.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

jack does some catholic bashing to legitimize southern bible thumping that his snake handling speaking-in-tounges retard sect is superior to the holy Roman Catholic Church. Par for course for these silly literalists.

Jack also btfo by the pastor on salmonella and more subtle trolling.

Jack is just looking for an excuse to eat more gud meets during lent. He’s personally offended by the mosst minor of fasts….eating a mcfish for lunch 4-5 fridays every year.

Hold on to your seats foodjacks!

I’d also like to highlight that Jack talks about circumcising boys in detail. Jack and his Jesus friend determine that “what god really meant” (is this literalism?) is that you can eat meat on fridays during lent because the J’s were wrong, but you still have to snip functional foreskins off of unsuspecting boys because the j’s were right about this one.

 

[ZipDisk]

Baptists are creepy. I'd actually be interested in Jack tarding out over catholic doctrine, but even two minutes in I despise this video. He really is barfing out his words, even more than when he first came out of the nursing home.

 

[AltisticRight]

Jack going schizo for no reason

Well, that day won't be so distant.
I hope.

 

[Sneedmiser]

jack does some catholic bashing to legitimize southern bible thumping that his snake handling speaking-in-tounges retard sect is superior to the holy Roman Catholic Church. Par for course for these silly literalists.

Jack also btfo by the pastor on salmonella and more subtle trolling.

Jack is just looking for an excuse to eat more gud meets during lent. He’s personally offended by the mosst minor of fasts….eating a mcfish for lunch 4-5 fridays every year.

Hold on to your seats foodjacks!

I’d also like to highlight that Jack talks about circumcising boys in detail. Jack and his Jesus friend determine that “what god really meant” (is this literalism?) is that you can eat meat on fridays during lent because the J’s were wrong, but you still have to snip functional foreskins off of unsuspecting boys because the j’s were right about this one.

I want to go through this but I don't have the time right now/might not tonight. But 6 minutes in they don't know who Athanasius the Confessor or John Chrysostom are, and can't pronounce either's name.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I want to go through this but I don't have the time right now/might not tonight. But 6 minutes in they don't know who Athanasius the Confessor or John Chrysostom are, and can't pronounce either's name.

I’d be more shocked if they got anything right. Like at all.

Jack on religion is instant MATI for me. I salute those of you who can tolerate his irreverent retardation.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

jack does some catholic bashing to legitimize southern bible thumping that his snake handling speaking-in-tounges retard sect is superior to the holy Roman Catholic Church. Par for course for these silly literalists.

Jack also btfo by the pastor on salmonella and more subtle trolling.

Jack is just looking for an excuse to eat more gud meets during lent. He’s personally offended by the mosst minor of fasts….eating a mcfish for lunch 4-5 fridays every year.

Hold on to your seats foodjacks!

I’d also like to highlight that Jack talks about circumcising boys in detail. Jack and his Jesus friend determine that “what god really meant” (is this literalism?) is that you can eat meat on fridays during lent because the J’s were wrong, but you still have to snip functional foreskins off of unsuspecting boys because the j’s were right about this one.

Jackass being ignorant on yet another topic and water is wet. I'd love to see him shit his pants over how often Orthodox Christians fast. As for Jack being a Baptist and a literalist, talk about doping yourself up with retardation.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I’d be more shocked if they got anything right. Like at all.

Jack on religion is instant MATI for me. I salute those of you who can tolerate his irreverent retardation.m

I just want to know why he is talking about Lent in fucking July….That ends in March or April at latest

Lenten fast is also the easiest, most wishy washy “fast” in religion. Less than six days over a five week period where you simply avoid beef, pork and chiggum but do everything else normally. (Great excuse to make yummy tuna melts!) But Jack needs some goy pilpul to ensure he’s right about not losing precious meat-days. What a fucking baby.

 

[Marc]

Jack is a Baptist and Biblical literalist in the same way he is carnivore, father of the year, gainfully employed, busy, generous, or anything else he goes out of his way to describe himself as being. You will never see or hear anyone else referring to Jack as such unless they’re fucking with him.

Jack responds to *any* Scriptural indictment of his actions or character with the non sequitur deflection of “IVE READ THE BIBLE EIGHTEEN TIMES COVER TO COVER”, without ever denying anything. The guy can’t even read a menu with pictures, and he expects the world to take him at his word that he comprehends what he reads in olde English.

 

[Tiresome]

non sequitur deflection of “IVE READ THE BIBLE EIGHTEEN TIMES COVER TO COVER”,

I guarantee you his "Bible" is mostly pictures.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I just want to know why he is talking about Lent in fucking July….That ends in March or April at latest

Lenten fast is also the easiest, most wishy washy “fast” in religion. Less than six days over a five week period where you simply avoid beef, pork and chiggum but do everything else normally. (Great excuse to make yummy tuna melts!) But Jack needs some goy pilpul to ensure he’s right about not losing precious meat-days. What a fucking baby.

A good excuse for vegetarian dishes alongside fish and chips (get some malt vinegar and a pint of beer).

 

[AnOminous]

Lenten fast is also the easiest, most wishy washy “fast” in religion. Less than six days over a five week period where you simply avoid beef, pork and chiggum but do everything else normally. (Great excuse to make yummy tuna melts!)

Also pretty much every fast food joint has a fish sandwich and as a limited thing, they're usually a lot better than their normal fare. Popeyes has a pretty good one.