Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

I wonder what it would take to get through to him the fact that Ozzy cleaned up his life and is all the better for it. This might be his only hope of making it to 40.
 
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cobra fucker said:
I wonder what it would take to get through to him the fact that Ozzy cleaned up his life and is all the better for it. This might be his only hope of making it to 40.
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Nothing. He doesn't love Ozzy the entertainer, he loves this constructed myth of Ozzy as the ultimate incarnation of his every middle school metalhead fantasy. He will never reevaluate that self-constructed myth.
 
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Candover said:
the short answer is yes. you literally have to make a ridiculous O-face if you want to pull it off, and his lips are strangely perfectly designed for it.
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It's almost like he was born to be real into tobacco.
cobra fucker said:
I wonder what it would take to get through to him the fact that Ozzy cleaned up his life and is all the better for it. This might be his only hope of making it to 40.
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Probably nothing short of Ozzy himself telling him that he's not actually the Prince of Darkness 24/7. And even then, that probably wouldn't work. The Dani Filth cameos weren't enough to get him to brush his teeth and not let Puff die.

His ODD is far too powerful.
 
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cleanerfromvenus said:
withdrawals will make you have tremors and lose motor skills, in some cases worse than when you are on the booze.
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This is baffling to me. I've never seen him with the shakes and in videos where he claims to be "sober" or "not drinking" he doesn't seem visibly fucked up enough to be lying about it. Maybe drinking three Blue Moons mixed with Mountain Dew and stumbling around inside a trailer doesn't put enough alcohol in your system to cause a physical dependancy.
 
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Angry Shoes said:
This is baffling to me. I've never seen him with the shakes and in videos where he claims to be "sober" or "not drinking" he doesn't seem visibly fucked up enough to be lying about it. Maybe drinking three Blue Moons mixed with Mountain Dew and stumbling around inside a trailer doesn't put enough alcohol in your system to cause a physical dependancy.
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probably not sober, just less drunk
 
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Candover said:
Even crazier knowing that when he was asked a while back by a streamer what he would say to Ozzy if he ever met him, the very first thing he would tell Ozzy is, "Don't worry, I won't try anything with your grandkids."
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It's because he receives, (at least when he does not smash his phone), a billion text messages from trolls accusing him of wanting to fuck Ozzy's grandkids. He gets berated about this incessantly, it is one of the favourite alog talking points. You have to remember when he is talking "publically" he is responding indirectly to his trolls. Most of the weird shit he says is because he is a full blown retard and he is trying to prove the alog trolls wrong, because he is too stupid to ignore it.

A beautiful wonderful example that relates to this is the burned bacon saga. That entire freak out was not because he burned bacon. He always burns the bacon, and always eats it and loves it. It was because he smashed his phone and he knows that the alogs are going to make fun of him for being a "drunk fat stupid loser who can't even cook and burned the bacon" and he had no ability to combat this.
 
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Blue Miaplacidus said:
It's because he receives, (at least when he does not smash his phone), a billion text messages from trolls accusing him of wanting to fuck Ozzy's grandkids. He gets berated about this incessantly, it is one of the favourite alog talking points. You have to remember when he is talking "publically" he is responding indirectly to his trolls. Most of the weird shit he says is because he is a full blown retard and he is trying to prove the alog trolls wrong, because he is too stupid to ignore it.

A beautiful wonderful example that relates to this is the burned bacon saga. That entire freak out was not because he burned bacon. He always burns the bacon, and always eats it and loves it. It was because he smashed his phone and he knows that the alogs are going to make fun of him for being a "drunk fat stupid loser who can't even cook and burned the bacon" and he had no ability to combat this.
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fuck the troles honestly dood.

wonder if his content would be better without all the alogs and sickos
 
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lebean said:
The trolls go hand in hand with Cobes like an excellent drink combo.

They must both exist and "complamize" for the drink or food hack to even occur. Truly a phenomenon.
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yeah but they take it too far i wish we only had like a dozen or so people sending him warlord dick shirts and glitter bombs not 1000 weens calling him a sicko ya'know
 
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lebean said:
The trolls go hand in hand with Cobes like an excellent drink combo.

They must both exist and "complamize" for the drink or food hack to even occur. Truly a phenomenon.
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Those were things before the hundreds or thousands of retards pestering him constantly.
ETA: I know I harp on this a lot but if people treated these online eccentrics like they’re at the zoo and not a petting zoo it would benefit everyone. They’re funny because they’re weird on their own. Look how he’s ended up and honestly tell me he would not have a better quality of life without the faggots pozloading my neghole.
 
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Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6 said:
Those were things before the hundreds or thousands of retards pestering him constantly.
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Epikusername4 said:
yeah but they take it too far i wish we only had like a dozen or so people sending him warlord dick shirts and glitter bombs not 1000 weens calling him a sicko ya'know
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Yeah, I definitely agree with both of you. My joke was in poor taste, of course -- fuck the alogs.

We all love Josh and see that he could realize his full potential like he was during even the Wendy's Era where he socialized and left the house.

The boy is going to spend his days behind a bottle and a 2015 Apple IMac dirty 720p Webcam because he's incessantly paranoid of people in general now.

Dudes like Warmlord don't even help him actualize his functional part of his brain. He just needs to get on a bike again and hit up his people in Wyoming without fear of being swatted, doxxed, or businesses reported.

But as a great scholar once said, "It is what it is, Toobz."
 
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RazorBackBacon said:
Nothing. He doesn't love Ozzy the entertainer, he loves this constructed myth of Ozzy as the ultimate incarnation of his every middle school metalhead fantasy. He will never reevaluate that self-constructed myth.
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The 'Prince of Darkness' lives in a mansion in the most beautiful part of California a place so dark it only gets 330 days of sunshine per year.
 
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Cobras recent 30 minute all the meats all the cheeses loop has genuinely made me hungry for an Italian roll with all the meats all the cheeses onions and peppers all the meats basil pesto, did I miss anything? I think adding a chicken cutlet is a bit over the top but I digress. Does anyone know what video he's talking about?
 
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