Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[PigFarm]

I like when people seem surprised that their autistic fandom/interest has been taken over by pooners.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

A seemingly unironic pooner! Or else the artist is a secret TERF or actual gay man.

 

[Ed Special]

Or else the artist is a secret TERF or actual gay man.

> Newcastle
Nope, the artist is 110% serious. Newcastle's the city in Britain that's more or less the nexus of Paki rape gangs but which will never, ever admit that they have a problem with Pakis, specifically, because they're full send on the neoliberal globohomo world order's gay new "progressive" rules.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

> Newcastle
Nope, the artist is 110% serious. Newcastle's the city in Britain that's more or less the nexus of Paki rape gangs but which will never, ever admit that they have a problem with Pakis, specifically, because they're full send on the neoliberal globohomo world order's gay new "progressive" rules.

Surely it must be students doing this? I've not been to the Toon in a while but I don't remember Geordies being this cucked.

 

[Cat Funt]

Me Chinese me play joke

 

[fat_rat_on_the_grass]

I hate to be that poster but....
Horrifying lol what the fuck is with this design (rotdog leg)

 

[Ring of Basilius]

A seemingly unironic pooner! Or else the artist is a secret TERF or actual gay man.
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It's like if the Ed Edd n Eddy intro was done by a molested circus clown

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

Not sure which Kiwis need to hear this, but no matter how easy pooner pussy may be to get, you never know if they stare at the bits and bobs you were born with without simmering in a borderline bunny boiler-ish jealousy over the simple fact that you can stand to pee. The number of FTMs transfixed on the ability to pee standing up is sincerely disturbing!
Link | Archive

This is especially funny because she's in Germany, where a majority of men pee sitting down.

Give pee a chance: Why German men urinate sitting down​

Recently, UK-based pollster YouGov published the results of a 13-country survey of men’s urinating preferences. This map shows the eight countries surveyed in Europe — the others were Canada, the U.S., Mexico, Singapore, and Australia. Of all 13 countries, Germany was the one where most men sat down “every time” to urinate (40%). Add those who do so “most times” (22%), and you get the result shown on the map: nearly two-thirds are Sitzpinkler (without final “s”: the word is both singular and plural).

How is it that German men are so proficient at sitting down when taking care of number one? By all accounts, it’s a fairly recent development. A useful marker is a device called the Spuk (“spook”), or WC-Geist (“toilet ghost”), first marketed in Germany in 2004. You place it under the toilet seat, and as a man in need lifts that seat to get a cleaner shot at the bowl, the device voices a message requesting that you return the seat to its horizontal position and do your business while sitting down. For added authority, the warning can imitate Angela Merkel, Helmut Kohl, or other former chancellors.

“Toilet ghosts” helped change attitudes​

Indeed, the early 2000s seem to be when a change of attitude swept across Germany. Before, Sitzpinkler was a word with a strong negative connotation. If you peed “like a girl,” then you had to be a weak, wimpy kind of man.
Around that time, “toilet ghosts” and written signs appeared in German toilets, especially in shared apartments and other communal facilities, asking male visitors to sit down while urinating. German parents now more frequently instruct their sons from childhood to do the same. This is for two main reasons: hygiene and health. How shall we put this delicately? Not every aim is true. Men who pee standing up (frequently) will miss the target, leaving a mess for (typically) others to clean up. Sitting down to pee is more hygienic, and more considerate to your hosts.

Why is it that in Germany-a country so emasculating they have Angela Merkel toilet robot ghosts that scream at you for trying to lift a toilet lid to piss, pooners are still obsessed with peeing standing up?

Because all of their online friends do. People try to ascribe meaning to pooner's obsession with urinals: "It's so they feel less vulnerable than peeing sitting down!" But in reality, it's just a shiny toy that all of the popular girls obsess over, so they want one too. A metoidioplasty is basically a Nintendo Switch 2.

But things took a dark turn when I learned of "top surgery buddies": innocent children's plush toys that are taken with you pre-surgery and returned post-surgery so that you can feel rest assured about your impending butchery, complete with hideous stitches of their own. Knowing how young the girls who get top surgery can be, this is both deeply disturbing and honestly kind of sad.

You also have to keep in mind, pooners are the kind that will carry around stuffed animals to deal with their self-diagnosed anxiety disorders well into adulthood.

As an example, here's dinosaurasher aka Elephant Dick from the SRS thread:

Elephant Dick update (for search: ElephantDick, Asher)

I took some time off the thread after the completion of the Gruffin saga… so I may have missed some intermittent Elephant Dick updates.

Last post I found was her being very wordy on Reddit about stage one of her RFF redo (May 2024). You may recall she originally had Certulo’s “delayed abdo” method, resulting in the infamous elephant trunk. This was ultimately removed (Nov 2023) after at least 6 operations AKA “stages” taking her through this failed method. @batteredpancakes archived a large majority of this. ref 1, ref 2, ref 3

As far as I know there are still no images (besides the arm and graft site for urethral hookup, see her reddit), but she recently completed stage 2 RFF: urethral hookup with Dr. Coon (Feb 2025). Not all images from her instagram post are included here.

This is a 23 year old woman who supposedly wants to be a man.

 

[AnOminous]

Give pee a chance: Why German men urinate sitting down​

I feel sorry for Germany. We did way worse to Germany (Dresden) than we did when we nuked Japan twice.

Japan is getting revenge on us to this day with Vtubers.

German men have turned into bitch-ass piss-sitting faggots. What kind of man sits to piss? No American man does that.

"You run like a girl and you sit down to pee."

 

[Baumstriezel]

View attachment 7631884
I hate to be that poster but....
Horrifying lol what the fuck is with this design (rotdog leg)

the shoelaces being drawn like a noose are sending me. And yet a trace of the true self remains in the false self…

 

[cybertoaster]

And this inspired me down the rabbithole of what there is to be found on Etsy when you search for "ftm." Let's take a look at what the fine sellers over yonder have to peddle as wares, shall we?

Stickers, plushies, retarded "live love laugh"-tier paraphernalia and other arts and crafts........are these pooners even trying to be men? this is the most girly shit out there, straight tomboys don't do this, even gay men don't do this.

 

[Mad_Dog]

Why is it that in Germany-a country so emasculating they have Angela Merkel toilet robot ghosts that scream at you for trying to lift a toilet lid to piss, pooners are still obsessed with peeing standing up?

It's a known fact that women love men with loud piss streams, they call it the horse-cock effect. The inclusion of a woman's voice shrieking at the defiant stallion only serves to entice the Teutonic female further. German engineering never fails to impress.

 

[Wooley Ball]

Spoiler: Imagine having a uterus tattoo right next to your FAGGOT trampstamp 😭

https://www.reddit.com/r/transbodymods/comments/1ih5jj5/

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

This is especially funny because she's in Germany, where a majority of men pee sitting down.

Give pee a chance: Why German men urinate sitting down​

Thread theme

 

[and I must scream]

Spoiler: Another Zack video

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I almost puked when her meat sticks clapped together. That sound. Ugh.

I love how she mentions specifically the exact date the war began, but doesn't acknowledge WHY it began.

Did her attempt even make the news? You can't protest from the middle of nowhere. Major lmao at the comment section because she's ignoring the comments calling her a moron and only replying to the comments calling her brave and strong.

Spoiler: Zack's first video about Gaza

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I've been wondering about this too. I swear it sounds like she did it in some remote gas station or something and by chance some people were nearby and called for help. How does one thinks they can make any change this way is beyond me.

Pooner goes on a rant about how if you think trans men can't be lesbians that you're a TERF. She also goes on to say that actual queer people understand gender and sexuality on levels that "cis" people probably don't yet
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I’ve expressed to people in the past that trans doesn’t make any sense, is an inconsistent ideology, etc. The response to this (when it isn’t blind rage) is often condescending assurance that because I’m “cis”, of course it doesn’t make sense to me. This is one thing I can't stand about this community. They get off on authority and the perception that they are experts, along with snidely lecturing others and making them feel stupid. Its the sheer narcissism in thinking they have all the answers and have super unique brains that can understand gender and we're all a bunch of idiots who haven't understand it yet.

They say trans men are men. They say lesbians are non-men attracted to other non-men. Then they tell you trans men can be lesbians.

Tell me this isn't Orwellian. Changing the definitions and meaning of words all the time, then telling you it has always been like that, and you are the ignorant one for not knowing it or stupid one for not understanding this.

And yes, I'm totally with you. Which is why I've developed a metaphorical allergy to the word educating.

Here is a question for the girls/women in here, as I am guessing half or more of the users who read this thread are female. I am not, so I have no direct experience with this.

Has this thread and others likely inoculated you from the pooner social contagion that has become an epidemic at the moment? Outsiders not familiar with our forum like to bag on how "transphobic" threads like these are, but I think that they are actually a positive thing in helping keep people who read them grounded in reality and to stay away from hormone fuckery and the SRS chop-shop.

It hasn't for me since I never got into it and I was peaked the moment I realized what "gender identity" and "trans women are women" actually means, which was before I had joined the farms or started reading in it. I'm older, so I haven't been under the same influences that younger people have experienced in the last decade or so. I'm lucky, if I was a teen during that time I don't know if I would have gotten out of it unscarred. Metaphorically and literally.

I think the specific circumstances of my life - my age and how I grew up, made me immune to poonerism. I didn't really need anything else. The idea that there is such a thing as "gender identity" and this is what makes us men or women (or neither, or both, etc.) never made sense to me because I never had any inborn internal sense of being a girl/woman, I just knew I am female and all my senses and feelings about and around it and my socialization stem from this very fact. If I were born male, I would have been a man right now. It's really that simple. I also didn't grow up in a time when sex stereotypes, expectations, norms, etc. determine your "gender" and when obvious, visible material reality was overridden by a person's subjective feelings. To me the big question is not why so many teens and young adults in general, and teenager girls and young women in particular, are falling into the trans cult and in particular into poonerism, this I understand easily. To me the question is how anyone over the age of 35 can think this way, including people who are not at all trans (known as "allies"). This I have a difficult time to understand and accept.

Anyway, I also started watching videos of trans people about their "gender journey" and "trans identity", which only further solidified my stance that this is a regressive madness, and read articles in websites like 4thWaveNow and Genspect, before I got into the farms. So I already got here very trans peaked already. The farm did introduced me to horrors I have never known before, however. But the danger of me falling into poonerism never really existed in the first place, so the answer is no.

 

[scathefire]

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Spoiler: Imagine having a uterus tattoo right next to your FAGGOT trampstamp 😭

View attachment 7634053View attachment 7634054View attachment 7634050View attachment 7634051

https://www.reddit.com/r/transbodymods/comments/1ih5jj5/

These have to be some of the worst tattoos I’ve ever seen, imagine being an elderly woman with the word “FAGGOT” tattooed above your ass. Or “Impeach the Motherfucker” when it’s 2050 and all the Trump shit was an eternity ago.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

What kind of man sits to piss?

This has to do with how old toilets were build. Germany, Austria, the Netherlands and other european countries had and still have (although it's outdated and disappearing) a different toilet model.


You would sit down to pee too if you had to use this because the urine bounces back.

 

[Lord Of Shit]

I feel sorry for Germany. We did way worse to Germany (Dresden) than we did when we nuked Japan twice.

Japan is getting revenge on us to this day with Vtubers.

German men have turned into bitch-ass piss-sitting faggots. What kind of man sits to piss? No American man does that.

"You run like a girl and you sit down to pee."

Meh, I usually sit to piss, simply because it's more relaxing: I don't have to turn on the light in the middle of the night to avoid pissing on the cat; if it should turn out that I also need to take a dump, I can move seamlessly from one task to the next, etc.

View attachment 7634052

Spoiler: Imagine having a uterus tattoo right next to your FAGGOT trampstamp 😭

View attachment 7634053View attachment 7634054View attachment 7634050View attachment 7634051

https://www.reddit.com/r/transbodymods/comments/1ih5jj5/

How does one breathe with that much metal obstructing one's nasal passages?

 

[2mm and 99 others]

This has to do with how old toilets were build. Germany, Austria, the Netherlands and other european countries had and still have (although it's outdated and disappearing) a different toilet model.

View attachment 7635505
You would sit down to pee too if you had to use this because the urine bounces back.

Yes, it's called Flachspüler and the point is to observe the shit before you say goodbye to it, and it was invented (unsurprisingly) in Austria-(Hungary). People mostly hate those and now, as the meat sold in shops goes through veterinary checks for parasites, they are fairly obsolete, except maybe hospitals.

 

[Magic Pickle]

Now that she and her special little guy are ready for grand adventures together, a post-op TiF requests advice on "urinal etiquette." Lads of the farms, what would you say of this list? Anything missing? To me, most of this seems like common fucking sense, but when have troons 'n' poons ever not made any social situation vastly weirder than it had to be?
Link | Archive

Urinal Etiquette List​

I’m 10 weeks post op RFF phallo with UL. I have peed in single urinals when no one else is around, but so far have not gone to a big bathroom with multiple urinals and people. (I’m thinking the kind of set up you’d get at the cinema or a mall or big event). I’m really excited to do this but a bit worried I’ll do something wrong or socially unacceptable unknowingly!

I’ve started to make a list of Urinal rules/norms. What am I missing? Does anyone have any advice for my first time out in the wild?!
Spacing Rules

• Use every other urinal if possible.
• If there are 3 urinals, use the one on the far left or right.
• Never use the one right next to someone unless there’s no other option.

Eyes Forward

• Look straight ahead or slightly downward.
• Do not look around, especially not at other people or their bodies.
• Don’t try to start a conversation.

Silence

• Avoid talking unless it’s urgent or necessary.

Flush and Wash

• Always flush (unless it’s automatic).
• Always wash your hands after.
• Leave the area clean.

Don’t Peek or Comment

• Don’t peek, glance, or make any comments about others — not even as a joke.

Don’t Use Your Phone

• Never take a phone call or, worse, a photo/video near urinals.

Clothing considerations

• When you’re at a urinal and wearing pants, shorts, or underwear without a fly, the goal is to relieve yourself discreetly and efficiently, while minimizing exposure and preserving modesty. To do this unzip or just slightly pull down the waistband so you can access yourself and then go over the top.

What Not to Do

• Don’t drop your pants to your ankles.
• Avoid exposing your buttocks
• Don’t tug excessively or struggle — if you can’t do it quickly and smoothly, consider using a stall for privacy.

A li'l dood bellyaches over how unfuckable most people consider pooners to be. The hilarity here is that there is actually a sexual market for FTMs - it just tends to be lesbians who have a bizarre, borderline sexist fixation on butch/femme dynamics. But even they tend to find the clitoromegalic effect of testosterone to be less than arousing... alas!
Link | Archive

[TW: Dysphoria trigger] I think being seen as "undesirable" is one of the hardest parts of being a trans man outside of dysphoria​

I wasn't someone who dated and had partners pre-transition. I don't think I would've even been able to tolerate it. But after transition, I've kinda been in the same situation except for a few FWBs over the years.
Something I've come to realize is that in my experience, trans men are not really seen as desirable, even amongst other trans people. Posts in the gay trans subreddit is constantly talking about dating cis men, which is 100% understandable but that leads to a lot of people in relationships that probably are not what they think it is. It's obviously not everyone but I've encountered many posts where some guy is gushing over his partner and it's so many red flags. So many are fine with it because at least someone likes them and it isn't a trans man.
On apps like Grindr, there are many trans women and a few trans men and almost all of them are looking for cis men. I don't bother even trying to talk to them because it'll hurt too much to be rejected.
It seems like everyone but trans men are desired in some way. If a trans man is desired, there are so many specific traits he must have and even then, it's a "maybe". I don't think I'm owed anything so please don't call me an incel. I think just the general way trans men are seen is so demoralizing that it's really making me depressed. Many people my age have kids, have been in at least one relationship and/or are married and I'm not attractive to anyone unless it's some fetishist who wants me to use my natal genitalia.

Don't let your tranny masters hear you, little poon: a FTM resents that all of the shit she's been through has been invalidated by numerous crossdressing men in her life, whereas seeking support from other TiFs has shown her that this is not as uncommon an experience as she felt that it was. It's almost as if men who want and seek power over you will do anything to uphold it even for other men...
Link | Archive

Trans women in my life are pissing me off with how invalidating they are with the trans masc experience​

(I posted this previously with a title that made it come across as “Trans Woman bad” and while that was not my intent I see how it came off that way my sincerest apologies, I know that not all trans women are like this)
I really don’t know how to start this post as I’m at a loss for words right now, so please bear with me as this post may ramble on. Apologies in advance! So I’m a somewhat stealthy trans guy, I won’t out myself to just anyone however if anyone finds out (which, no joke would take super spy level skills) I won’t deny it. The only time I deny it is if someone accidentally outs me (yes I know it sounds controversial but I genuinely do feel it can be an accident and the people who do it genuinely apologize and become better about it).
So the main issue is with a MTF (now ex) friend, we were pretty solid at first until we told each other our transition stories. I’ll tell mine because she accused me of taking advantage of our healthcare system and CPS (we both live in Ontario). So I ended up in foster care because my parents were straight up gatekeepers, and were threatening to kick me out because I wanted to start hormones after my 16th birthday (which was two months away, also in Ontario once you’re 16 you have medical autonomy for most things with the exception of surgeries from my current understanding). I told her about how shortly after I was placed I was put on hormone blockers, and about 8 months later I started testosterone. She started to question why my worker would allow that to happen, I told her what my worker said to me word for word: “I can’t legally make this decision or say no as you’re now the age of majority, I’m only here to support you and catch anything the doctor says that may help me understand what you’re about start to better be able to support you in the future.” (Side note, I’m well aware that I got to medically transition at such a young age and I’ve always viewed it as a privilege).
She went on about how my worker should have done her job better, and stopped it from happening considering I was only 16 at the time. Mind you she started estrogen a few months after me, and when I pointed that out she said it was different because the effects of estrogen isn’t as permanent as T. I pretty much dropped it at that point because, I didn’t want it to turn into an argument. She kept trying to poke me about it though, saying that I had it easy because I never heard a “No” and that I was taking away resources from trans men that were actually struggling.
Oh I’m sorry you don’t see transitioning while in foster care, and about to age out and have to live on my own soon as not struggling enough. I told her that while I can see her perspective on it, my struggles are still valid, as I literally gave up the only home I knew so I could live my truth.
We didn’t talk for a bit after that, until she replied to an instagram story I posted about a situation I was in with this DL married dude who was starting to stalk me near daily. Her words and I quote “It’s probably all in your head, DL men don’t want ftms they want hairless twinks and femboys without (tw) v*ginas. This is why I can’t take you seriously, you want to parade around like a man but have the victim complex of a woman, it’s not cute and it’s getting tired. You should really work on that before you’re actually being stalked and nobody believes you.” At this point I lost it on her because she had already been posting stuff about issues that trans men face as being a fake cry for attention because a lot of us pass just fine and that we have male privilege anyway. So I ended up cutting her off completely. I’m not sure what the issue I caused is here so maybe someone can point it out? I’m open to learning and growth but I feel this was an unfair witch hunt.
Also to add, I went to quite a few of my MTF friends about this for advice on how to handle it (when it happened) and they all agreed with her so I’m just here like wtf? I know all trans women aren’t like this but for 8 that I know to agree with what she said has wondering why they’re being so invalidating of my own experiences.
Quick edit: A few of my ftm friends have also had similar experiences with the trans women we all know mutually and it’s kinda sad to see them feel just as upset and feeling invalidated by their mindsets toward trans masculinity in general

Anyone familiar with pooner authoress Johannes T. Evans knows that she's quite renowned for her disgusting, fucked-up erotica, but she's also a boring, piss-poor essayist who thinks having thousands of tweet threads under her belt a writer makes. Enjoy this essay from her about how she wants to mess around with her hormones with impunity and why people with medical degrees should simply ask "how high?" when a bepronouned beast says jump. (For those more curious about Johannes, I'd be happy to post about her, but as a preview she thinks anyone determined to oust pedophiles from a community are actually more likely to be the real pedophiles and she also is extremely fixated on toxic pornography.)
Link | Archive

I Am Bad Representation​

And I could not care less.​

Yesterday, I went to my GP and got my testosterone injection administered. It’s an intramuscular injection generally administered to my backside, where the fattier, softer flesh makes the intramuscular penetration of the needle less painful, and also gives it space to settle in the flesh and slowly be assimilated into my endocrine system over time.
Every 12 weeks — 3 months — I get this injection administered. I have been on it for about five years.
Prior to that, I was on Testogel, a topical form of testosterone where you slather a very strong-smelling slime over your shoulders every day and sit uncomfortably, waiting for it to dry, before you can put your shirt on, and trying not to sweat in the meantime.
The nurse at my local GP has been administering this T-shot for about a year.
Previously, I had been prescribed an oestrogen cream to help with the symptoms of vaginal atrophy — when you have a vulva and vagina and you, for whatever reason, have low oestrogen and progesterone, the mucous membranes that make up the inside of your vagina and your labia minora become thinner and produce less lubricant. It can make it harder to produce enough lubricant whilst having sex, make you more prone to tearing, and contribute to muscular pain and discomfort.
As you might have surmised from how I described the Testogel, this cream was Bad for me. It was very texturally unpleasant and awkward to administer with a little syringe, and I despised it.
So I made a mistake. I said, hey, can you guys give me a suppository version of the same cream?
The receptionist seemed surprised by how comfortable I was talking about my vagina in the waiting room, but hey. Such is life.
I receive a phone call the following morning at a few minutes past nine. With delight, the receptionist informs me, “We’ve made a referral to the gender dysphoria clinic for you!”
And I say, “Well, you shouldn’t have done that. Why did you do that?”
And she goes, “Oh.”
“I don’t need to speak to a gender dysphoria specialist. This is for a vaginal suppository. It’s the same thing you’d give to a cisgender woman experiencing vaginal atrophy after experiencing menopause — it has nothing to do with being transgender.”
“Oh. Well. Erm. The doctor just doesn’t feel comfortable prescribing you hormones without you talking to a specialist.”
“What about the hormones you already give me?”
“… What?”
“I was literally there yesterday getting my T-shot administered. You’ve been giving me my testosterone for a year. Is the doctor suddenly going to take me off a medication I’ve been on for eight years? Is he comfortable putting me at severe health risk for no reason?”
“Oh, er, well, I’m sure, um, I don’t — I’m just a secretary, I don’t, um, I don’t know about… I’m sure he wouldn’t… But I can’t guarantee that — “
I was pissed. I made it very clear I was pissed and that I felt this was a waste of time and resources.
I know exactly what happened. Because many doctors don’t actually know anything about much of the medicine they administer unless it comes up on a Google search, they immediately react to base assumptions like “transgender” (or “woman” or “disabled” or “Black”) and attribute any issue you’re having to that.
My doctor looked at the fact that I’m on testosterone, then saw that I’d asked for oestrogen. Aaaaah!!! That’s so confusing and weird! I must be confused about my gender identity! You can’t just mess with all this stuff and brew it all together!
The fact that I’ve been given a cream-form of the same medication in the past is irrelevant. The fact that what I’ve requested is a LOCALISED form of HRT, which will not impact my broader endocrine system, is irrelevant — he doesn’t know that. The fact that again, the same exact thing can be given to cisgender women, is irrelevant.
He doesn’t know how any of these medications work. Hormones + transgender = ooh scary!!!!
When you have any sort of chronic health condition — which my transgenderism will be until someone makes an implant for my T — you end up having to learn how a lot of these medications work and how they work together. You have to actually pay attention.
And then you have to manage healthcare practitioners who are acting based on bias and assumptions rather than actual healthcare comprehension.
And then, infuriatingly, after all this, I was put in the position of having to say, “Look, I’m sorry, I know you don’t know anything about this, and I’m very clearly aggravated, but it feels like I’m being targeted for poor medical care simply because I am transgender, and that my health is being put at risk at random.”
Which is what’s happening.
But when your doctor tries to do malpractice on you because he’s anxious about the fact that you’re transgender, you’re not allowed to get angry and upset about it, because that makes you scary and intimidating and a Bad Patient. It might make you worthy of even more punishment, or being struck off.
So that ruined my day.
I now have to go to the endocrinologist, and hopefully, I’ll be able to say, “I’ve literally been on T for eight years. Do not fuck with me. I do not need a fucking assessment. I do not need to prove for a second time to some stranger that I’m transgender. Just give me the suppository to make my dick work better and fuck off.”
And the endo will just give me the suppository, and my doctor will go back to giving my testosterone every three months, and I won’t have to ruin anybody’s life or publicly embarrass my GP surgery into treating me like a human being.
It’s so frustrating to have to constantly think about what damage control I’m going to have to do to just be given the basic medication I require to live my life and that I’ve already been on for the better part of a decade.
The thing about the fact that it feels like this whole thing has put my general life at risk is that it feels like a punishment for caring about my vaginal health and wanting to be able to have comfortable, good sex — and that makes me a bad transgender person.
Cis people don’t want to think about trans men having sex or being sexual beings. That’s gross and scary and weird and uncomfortable.
Doctors don’t want a patient advocating for their own sexual health or being empowered and knowledgeable about the ins and outs of their own healthcare, let alone contradicting them just because they very clearly not only don’t know how my healthcare works, but because they can’t be bothered to learn.
Cis people don’t really want trans people to exist, because the concept of trans people disrupts the things they would like to believe about “biological sex” and how it contributes to the roles they choose for each other and pressure one another into.
If they’re okay with trans people existing, they only want trans people to exist in perfect theory.
They “grieve” over the cisgender children they “lose” when they transition to their correct gender. They don’t want kids and teenagers to be given puberty blockers, but they also don’t want them to get the right hormones — and now even as an adult, I’m constantly put in the position of having to be worried about my T getting stopped at any moment in case a doctor has Feelings about having a transgender patient.
Because it’s too scary and too hard to actually do any research about my medication. They want our healthcare to go to nebulous “specialists” who, frankly, know more about diabetes and menopause — which is what most endocrinologists study! — than they do about being trans.
Cisgender people are often very fixated on the idea and the narrative that transgender people live in fear and anxiety and self-loathing because we’re so cursed by our bodies and our lives.
But almost every negative experience I have is to do with a cisgender person choosing to make my life difficult rather than any internal issue I have with my actual life or body or gender. It’s cis people using slurs or making places inaccessible, refusing to learn or be educated on any subject, and trying to push any kind of transgender person out of their lives, their facilities, their society.
And so yeah, I’m bad representation.
I’m openly gay and fruity, and I wear sexy fun clothes, and I write erotica and I talk openly about sexual health and resources, and I’m open about being transgender. I’m not ashamed of my sexuality or my gender — or my disability and chronic illness, which I’m also open about, God forbid!
And who cares?
I could be the absolute perfect example of transgenderism — invisible, meek, silent — and I would be treated with the exact same level of disrespect and ignorance. I would just feel like it was genuinely my fault for existing instead of theirs for treating me poorly.
At the very least I can complain loudly where other people can see and hear me, and it can make other trans people feel better about advocating for themselves and telling cis people and cis-focused systems to fuck right off.
And I can create bad representation proudly in my own fiction work — trans people who are criminals and assholes and sluts and freaks and actual monsters, who are off-putting and autistic and disabled and weird — and let people enjoy that as well.