Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[fiddlecauliflower]

But you see, ACK-shually it's bad on purpose. He did it because iGPUs can't run shaders apparently (???). How did he come to that conclusion, I've no idea but here we are:
View attachment 7643986
(source)

iGPUs have had shader models for well over 15 years at this point. Portal 2 ran on iGPUs at release it was a big thing that Gabe was passionate about at the time. He must really be living in like 2006 or something.

Edit: I've not had time to really pore over his code, but can anyone confirm can his lighting code even handle objects in front of others? Like if the dog sprite was behind his character would it still be illuminated? Or is his claim of "physically based lighting" (which he's probably referring to PBR which this is not) completely made up?

 

[volatile puar]

defcon story

So he defeated a cyber criminal at defcon and saved the day (proof?) and in recounting the story he says "it's illegal to set up a cell tower because it disrupts 911" (which doesn't seem to be true) instead of the obvious thing of criminal hacking? As it turns out, it's a felony to intercept someone's private phone calls or text messages. Gotta love him implying that somebody might have booby-trapped their spying device with an ied, and he's a superhacker that knows, if you open it up the way it was closed in the first place, it won't explode (what made you think closing it didn't arm the bomb?).

 

[Mettaur]

Yeah okay Maldy. I guess dialogue doesn't count towards being text-wise done.
View attachment 7644053

I honestly wonder if Jason realizes he is lying when he says this and just hopes nobody catches him on it. Like does he just lie as a habit at this point. I wonder if growing up as the "kid who's dad worked at Blizzard" gave him a persistent need to impress others constantly.

 

[Vic Macedonia]

Remember guys, until Mald can accomplish simple technological feats or flex some exaggerated positions he held a decade ago, none of those other schmucks in his field haven't accomplished anything meaningful and HeartBound is the greatest, most optimized game since Doom (it can run on le smart fridge).

 

[Hillbilly Slim]

It's just a different skillset. It's easy for him to boast and lie on the back of nepotism, but Jason is not gifted at logic and not willing to learn. I don't think he knows how to learn, actually, because everything he has tried to educate others on has been either basic meme knowledge or a complete mess of incorrect, incoherent babble. I would go so far as to say he's incapable of learning, due to his ego and as exhibited by continual lolcow behavior.

Also this retard just played a TTS of someone asking him what he thought of "the ferret rape allegations". With all the hate he's getting, why even play TTS at this point? Bro is dumb as fuck.

im convinced he doesnt remember the words he says once they've left his mouth

He doesn't. He's not accustomed to facing consequences, so he never learned how to hide the tracks of his retardation.

Yeah okay Maldy. I guess dialogue doesn't count towards being text-wise done.
View attachment 7644053

Just embarrassing. I'll give credit where credit is due, watching this guy live his life sure makes me feel better about my own. If I were to put forth all my effort, I could never be anywhere near as much of a loser as this guy is.

 

[Jarch6]

First time I've heard about this. The amount of focus on his code and optimizations he could make seems pointless to me and retards like coding jesus are just milking it for content right now because Mald is the new hotness. It's a shitty 2D game made in Gamemaker so who cares how well it's coded it's one of those things like, if it works it works, Undertale also has shitty coding and that was pretty successful.

The only thing that should be made a point of about his code is how he claims to be some long time game dev with experience but is writing shit like an intern. Exposing him for this raytracing engine that most likely doesn't exist would be nice.

While I do think CJ’s critiques were nitpicks, he is right that code readability does matter (performance for a glorified RPG maker game not so much). Also, Toby fox was sloppy with UT but at least he got it out the door in a reasonable time (and he never claimed to be a l33t coder like mald). Jason is both going at a glacial pace and is writing spaghetti code, what’s his excuse? (Muh ARG doesn’t count ferretfucker).

View attachment 7642784

I did finally figure it out, you don't just need to EQ the vocal you also need to pitch his voice up by a semitone, exactly one semitone, to hear his real voice. This is a before and after.

I can see why he alters it.

 

[Huddinge]

Did anyone save todays stream? Someone told him that quin69 was currently playing the Heartbound demo and he had an hour long spergout, and then quickly deleted the vod and all the clips afterwards. He kept talking trash about quin and how quin had been harassing him for several months. The only clips i managed to save where the two that he watched on his stream. The funny thing was that he wasnt hate playing the game at all, and due to being a huge contrarian he tried his hardest to like it and gave it a good review afterwards.

 

[fiddlecauliflower]

First time I've heard about this. The amount of focus on his code and optimizations he could make seems pointless to me and retards like coding jesus are just milking it for content right now because Mald is the new hotness. It's a shitty 2D game made in Gamemaker so who cares how well it's coded it's one of those things like, if it works it works, Undertale also has shitty coding and that was pretty successful.

The only thing that should be made a point of about his code is how he claims to be some long time game dev with experience but is writing shit like an intern. Exposing him for this raytracing engine that most likely doesn't exist would be nice.

Being a programmer is 70% of Mald's personality, the other 30% being an ex-Blizzard developer. So it's very funny to see him sperg out about how no one else understands his amazing code that's actually shitty. Plus, for anyone that understands code it's fun to laugh at. A sort of "This is how you don't play" but for programmers.

 

[TerribleUser09]

What baffles me is his Excel table with long list of percenteges straight out of depths of his arse of what is completed, in works and not touched at all. Like, I have never worked in game dev, but I have seen how projects are... projected in time schedules that Mald is lacking of. How in actual fuck, can you say that something is 80% completed, something next in 90% completion when you have nothing to back this off?

Today he spent entire, fucking, stream editing some config file copying and pasting same numbers all over while calling it "economy optimisation". Yeah, right. He was so invested in calculating the price tags for stuff that isn't available at this state of the game that he didn't bother wasting so much time on mundane and literally unnecessary thing.

 

[cigint]

and he had an hour long spergout, and then quickly deleted the vod and all the clips afterwards

Another magical internet outage, no doubt. When Maldavius has them, they somehow delete VODs that are really embarrassing for him.

 

[Billy Bong]

I cannot get enough of this! Please, keep it going until the end of July and #StopKillingGames

Watching this idiot dig his heels in further and further is just the icing on the cake. When he has no viewers left, he will be streaming to himself bragging about how his awesome ban bot has eliminated every other living creature on the planet, and assuring himself that Animus is almost done. He's got to be the top lolcow right now no question.

 

[Stickplant]

At this pace he'll end up banning everyone

View attachment 7643991

That's what I'm thinking. He keeps banning so many people, I am sure by now he is actually losing most views by simply having banned them himself.
Entire ass behavior.

 

[Vic Macedonia]

That's what I'm thinking. He keeps banning so many people, I am sure by now he is actually losing most views by simply having banned them himself.
Entire ass behavior.

Glad to see WingsofRedemption level of banning happening now, mattafact mods ban Stickplant.

 

[1983 Opel Kadett]

That's what I'm thinking. He keeps banning so many people, I am sure by now he is actually losing most views by simply having banned them himself.
Entire ass behavior.

Twitch even gives you pretty good tools to deal with it but AFAIK he's not using any of it and anyone can just go post in his chat with a fresh account. I guess he gets off on getting to use his power over random people fucking with him.

 

[gorgon]

snip

The way he is completely unable to write sentences and paragraphs like a normal person makes me irrationally angry. These brainlet line by line stanza ass screeds got me a-logging.

 

[PHUCKERPRIME]

He really is malding so bad, he stopped everything to ban people again.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE BEST MILK I'VE EVER DRANK
I hope it can be recovered. That's fucking hilarious.
Up until this point a good chunk of stuff that Jason did made me MATI, but this is fucking comedy gold.

 

[Roachbound]

The greatest writer of our time someone might say.
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The game actually writes "Disappointed armadillo noises" then later asks if you want to kill it. How do you fuck up a game about genociding furries?

Heartbound's dialogue is supposed to be "quirky" and "ironic" but it falls flat because the game isn't "quirky" or "ironic", it's completely devoid of substance. It's like he's trying to make the game a parody/tribute to rpgs, but screwed up because 99% of the game is a contentless walking simulator

This is his twitter; he doesn't look like someone too invested in Jason's community, and probably is just ignoring the whole drama. But it would be HILARIOUS if he calls out Jason about his code or the Smart Fridge.

Should I archive that video? Probably already is archived, but I don't know if we care enough to archive it.

The guy who made the fridge is jason's former head mod and likely a personal friend of his, he's still part of jason's discord but hasn't interacted since 2024. Interesting to see him still active on social media since on his discord any mentions of him are explained as "he went to touch grass" etc.

 

[Madison Grant]

Did Prime get tired of sweeping after Mald got more heat recently, and hung up the broom?

I just found a new comment Prime made about Mald, it was on his subreddit in response to the first Coding Jesus code review video being posted in submissions, he refuses to join the dogpile and is staying out of the drama!

guys i have been friends with thor for some time. i appreciate the content you all suggest and the discussion you have but this isn't for me
if you haven't noticed i generally stay away from drama stuff and i try not to rag on people. i get that pirate right now is under the microscope and everyone including coding jesus is taking swings at the man, but i am not going to participate
have your opinions and your thoughts, and i will even be fine with your discussion here, but i wont be partaking in this on stream
have a wonderful day folks!

Posted July 9 2025
Source
Archive

 

[Billy Bong]

Twitch even gives you pretty good tools to deal with it but AFAIK he's not using any of it and anyone can just go post in his chat with a fresh account. I guess he gets off on getting to use his power over random people fucking with him.
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Anyone with an account can post in his chat, you don't even have to follow. He never turned on follower only chat because he gets off on banning chatters and playing the victim. It gets him off and it is weird as hell, unless you're a faggot furry roach I guess.

 

[Homocull]

But you see, ACK-shually it's bad on purpose. He did it because iGPUs can't run shaders apparently (???). How did he come to that conclusion, I've no idea but here we are:
(source)

The funniest part is that these supposed dinosaur PCs that can't run pixel shaders would almost certainly be 32-bit, they wouldn't be able to run his game at all because he ships 64-bit only and Gamemaker dropped 32-bit exports long ago