Artcow Ellen Woodbury / Pizzacake / Pizzacakecomic - A 40 year old webcomic artist, mother, porn star, misandrist, dramacow and Reddit celebrity. Threatens to sue her critics and cuckolds her husband. Female Andrew Dobson.

[CoolFool]

Ellen really is stupid. It's common knowledge that the wedding dresses you try on at the store won't fit you right (Unless you're very lucky), you try it on and the store owners will help pin it correctly to fit your body, then if you like it, you have the dress altered so it will fit right on your wedding day. You aren't supposed to buy a wedding dress and wear it as is like you would a t-shirt from the mall.

See example here of a woman trying on a dress at the store, notice that it is pinned in the back and shoulders. She will have it permanently altered to fit this way after she pays for it:

Spoiler

Anyway, it's weird that they're suddenly getting married after 15 years. Going by how much Ellen is posting about being hit on, being sexy at almost 40, etc., I think she's feeling insecure and knows it's rough out there, especially for 38 year old mother of two who does porn. She's most likely trying to secure the only man she knows will put up with her bullshit.

Another thing to consider, over on reddit there is a popular belief that if you don't get married after having children and being together for years, then he doesn't love you and you're just a bang maid. Seeing as she's an insufferable redditor, I wonder if she saw this and felt even more insecure about her own relationship, so now she's getting married to feel better about herself.

 

[Señora Airi]

Ellen back on her bullshit again.
View attachment 7654133

Either she's on the extremist sides of the internet or she is against men having preferences.
Also, "control their own bodies" to do what Ellen? Kill the unborn?

over on reddit there is a popular belief that if you don't get married after having children and being together for years, then he doesn't love you and you're just a bang maid.

"Oh no this man who I willingly cheat on and draw porn of him getting cucked may not love me and see me as a lesser"

 

[xX_rAcE_wAr_420_Xx]

Oh no this man who I willingly cheat on and draw porn of him getting cucked may not love me and see me as a lesser"

Oh are you referring to the content she makes to help support her family? Which she does in addition to all domestic chores and child rearing, a situation that women are often put into by society? And all she's asking for is the feminist tradition of marriage, which defeats the patriarchy by forcing her lazy husband to view her as an equal? And meanwhile you're just some incel sitting on a Vietnamese tire-burning forum, bitter that a WOMAN is daring to have fun with her wedding.

Anyway that's probably what she's thinking, maybe throw in a few "lol my haters sure are WEIRD" if it's not vapid enough for you.

 

[EllenDrawsRapeOfHerHaters]

Women aren't incubators. I agree with her on that point.
Anyway:

Wrong place to free the nips. Try bandaids next time.

How does she find this trash? Surprise, random people online aren't doctors. I agree that this sounds like a good way to be miserable, but if you're taking advice from randoms online then there's no hope for you.

Slightly ot: Maybe Ellen is used to everything fitting off the rack since she's tall and flat. I realize she's given birth twice so she may not be able to get a flat stomach, but if she worked out tons of these dresses would fit her off the rack. With that one she drew, she just needs to size up for her stomach and get it tailored.

 

[CoolFool]

Women aren't incubators. I agree with her on that point.
Anyway:
View attachment 7655096
Wrong place to free the nips. Try bandaids next time.
View attachment 7655097
How does she find this trash? Surprise, random people online aren't doctors. I agree that this sounds like a good way to be miserable, but if you're taking advice from randoms online then there's no hope for you.

There is nothing wrong with multi day fasting, lots of people do it without issue. In fact, it's popular in Islam to fast... is Ellen calling Islam dangerous?

Slightly ot: Maybe Ellen is used to everything fitting off the rack since she's tall and flat. I realize she's given birth twice so she may not be able to get a flat stomach, but if she worked out tons of these dresses would fit her off the rack. With that one she drew, she just needs to size up for her stomach and get it tailored.

Ellen doesn't work out. She's skinny fat. She doesn't stuff her face with food, which is good, but she also doesn't work out, which is why she has a pancake ass and zero tone on her body.

 

[EllenDrawsRapeOfHerHaters]

Ellen is reading FDS, apparently.

 

[Señora Airi]

At least this one has a decent punchline and works within the four panels.

 

[Fly in the Ointment]

View attachment 7656440
Ellen is reading FDS, apparently.

Notice that the crow has wings and therefore the innate ability to fly up to the grapes, requiring very little thought and effort compared to what the fox would need to do. This isn't the own you think it is, Ellen

 

[AnOminous]

There is nothing wrong with multi day fasting, lots of people do it without issue. In fact, it's popular in Islam to fast... is Ellen calling Islam dangerous?

This is the second time she's been severely Islamophobic this week.

 

[EllenDrawsRapeOfHerHaters]

Grapes will poison foxes, but not crows.

 

[Lurkey Turkey]

This a parody of something in particular? Is there a reason it pivots to dudebro blogs?

 

[Señora Airi]

This a parody of something in particular? Is there a reason it pivots to dudebro blogs?

It's mocking the manosphere guys who can be misogynistic. However, this overlook the fact that dating is definitely harder these days, and that women can be as rotten as men when it comes to this (see the articles about "where the men have gone" despite the writers of said articles still sniffing around for a finance bro to bag).

 

[xX_rAcE_wAr_420_Xx]

It's a decent comic, but the main issue is the punchline is totally interchangeable with a class of people you don't like.

• Manlybro Dude Alpha: Why grapes are for betacuck losers
• DailyKOS: Why grapes are a sign of right-wing tendencies and contribute to global warming
• Reddit: TIL grapes are statistically correlated with low emotional intelligence (link in comments)
• Stormfront: Why grapes are a Jewish conspiracy
• ADL: These grapes are a secret hate symbol you may never have (((noticed))) before
• Lipstick Alley: LMAO iffa nigga be out here eatin' grapes you know he lowkey a bit zesty

It's just a cutaway to implying [group I don't like] is lazy grifters.

It's mocking the manosphere guys who can be misogynistic. However, this overlook the fact that dating is definitely harder these days, and that women can be as rotten as men when it comes to this (see the articles about "where the men have gone" despite the writers of said articles still sniffing around for a finance bro to bag).

That's the funny part, some of those dudes are grifters who hate women, some of the advice in the sphere is good, but she's not even engaging on that level, she's just saying "lmao dudebros amirite".

I would be lying if I said the cutaway to "CHAD ALPHA FOX" didn't make me chuckle 1.5 times, so at least in my opinion this is maybe the only good comic she's ever made.

 

[twinArmageddons]

It's just a cutaway to implying [group I don't like] is lazy grifters.

Maybe the fox is an allegory for ellen. The grapes is for the patriarchy and not trying to get the grapes is female empowerment

 

[Guns of the Gaytriots]

People should also get arrested for exposing themselves in a public park where children could be present. But alas, the world is unfair, and Ellen is a free woman unregistered to any sex offender list.

 

[EllenDrawsRapeOfHerHaters]

People should also get arrested for exposing themselves in a public park where children could be present. But alas, the world is unfair, and Ellen is a free woman unregistered to any sex offender list.

She really should be, since she took nudes in a public park.

 

[KriegsZensur]

Lipstick Alley: LMAO iffa nigga be out here eatin' grapes you know he lowkey a bit zesty

I don’t know why, but I really like the choice of words here.

Hadn’t heard “zesty” being used in a while.
Nice.

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

sounds like a good way to be miserable,

Not meaning to shit up the thread with medsperging, but if she'd just google "benefits of autophagy" or "intermittent fasting" she'd find out that it is not necessarily dangerous at all, quite the contrary, but it takes some discipline in the beginning before you feel better, and dicipline is something she lacks. I'd recommend some sort of fasting to everyone that is not a child, sick or very old.

 

[Cleverbot]

some of the advice in the sphere is good

like what?

 

[Señora Airi]

like what?

Dont be fat, clean yourself, dont be a slob, have some form of discipline. Stuff any adult role model can tell you.