Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 195 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 786 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,384
The reason why people mock posts like this one from Jack is because there is an element of fakery to it. Jack has been shown to routinely mistreat people around him. Including his wife. How many times has he been shown arguing with her behind the scenes of a video and berating her? He constantly displays this mean-spirited personality on social media. He choked his own son over weed. He lashed out at church goers because they wouldn't help him rig a meaningless chili cook-off contest.

This type of social media post from Jack is just his bullshit way of trying to dupe people online that he is in a happy, loving relationship. In reality he only cares about her as far as what she can do for him. And even then despite financially supporting his lazy ass over the years and helping him take care of his deteriorating state that he brought on with his own self-destructive behavior, Jack still decides to treat her like shit because that is how he treats everyone in life.
My personal headcanon when it comes to Wacko Re: his marriage to Tammy is that she bitchslaps him all the time off-camera. Both she and Jr. have been shown to be extremely fed up with his bullshit on camera to the point Jr. even forced him to stop filming (and he uploaded anyway). I'm pretty sure when she's had it with him she's given him a verbal smackdown. Jack is 100% bitchmade. He might put on this persona of being a manly man for the camera but he doesn't have the ovaries to ask for the manager. The way he reacts to her not doing exactly as he wants is that of a whipped dog.
 
My personal headcanon when it comes to Wacko Re: his marriage to Tammy is that she bitchslaps him all the time off-camera. Both she and Jr. have been shown to be extremely fed up with his bullshit on camera to the point Jr. even forced him to stop filming (and he uploaded anyway). I'm pretty sure when she's had it with him she's given him a verbal smackdown. Jack is 100% bitchmade. He might put on this persona of being a manly man for the camera but he doesn't have the ovaries to ask for the manager. The way he reacts to her not doing exactly as he wants is that of a whipped dog.
She really needs to wheel him outside during extreme weather, and remotely brick his phone. Leaving Jack there to demand, then cry, then plead, then whimper until he’s absolutely emotional putty for her.

The question remains if she should do it during extreme heat or extreme cold. Now I always thought during extreme cold was the way to go. Jack would have limbs he can’t feel freeze and die. But extreme heat wouldn’t do that. He’d just slowly deep fry inside his own decaying carcass, he’d probably start eating his clothing if he could get to it with his gimpy arm and useless legs.
 
That isn't even a recipe. Thats what a college student makes when they are stoned for a week.
But to Fatty it's great because he's getting what he wants. Meat, cheese and gets to pretend like he's only tasting them because he's totally carnivore there guys.

And even then... you take a small tortilla, slather some of the sauce on it, add your toppings and bake that way.

Voila! Thin crust pizza. All Fatty did was roll one up and put the sauce on the side.
 
That isn't even a recipe. Thats what a college student makes when they are stoned for a week.
The stoned fratboy would do a better job. I don't know how he made it look that vile. Every now and again I'll make a sort of lazy quesadilla with pizza ingredients and it never looks like that. It somehow looks moldy and the contents look like vomit.
 
Yep big budget jack here
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Of course Jack is a Cowboys and Raiders fan.
And he's not even a real fan of either team.
  • He's refusing to root for the Cowboys this season because Dak something something, which is lame as shit and means he was never a real fan to begin with (which we already knew, because Jack doesn't sincerely root for anything except his own base desires). Unless your team does something insane -- like say, "Hey! Fuck Breast Cancer Awareness month! Go, cancer!" -- stick with your goddamn team. If Browns fans can endure, then so can you.
    • Also, Dak is what he is: a statistically good quarterback who falters in the postseason. That makes him almost exactly like every other statistically good QB in the last 20 years who wasn't named Brady. I'm not saying Dak is amazing -- their 2023 wildcard game against the Packers was literal high comedy -- but the Cowboys haven't had a good coach since arguably 2006 (Parcells), and Jerry Jones has been an active detriment since at least the turn of the century. And they've still produced 16 winning seasons in that time.
      • If you can't just stick it out and enjoy the ride as every other sports show on earth gives WAY too much airtime to your "iconic" team, then you are, as @the khat quaffer said, absolutely bitchmade.
    • Next Jack will tell us he's no longer rooting for the Yankees because Aaron Judge is bad at base running.
I wonder why Jack isn't a Bills fan? Granted, they've never had a successful season that didn't end in heartbreak, and it's clear his sad pissbaby brain can't handle anything but winning the Super Bowl, but otherwise it seems a good match:
  • Buffalo isn't in his hated New York City that he wants to see burn to the ground
  • Josh Allen is big and tall and strong and white
  • Bills Mafia as a name seems custom-made for Jack, the Sauditalian, to love
  • The other big names are out: Mahomes is evil because refs, Jackson wears cornrows and grills, and Burrow is WOLK
Calling it now!
  • He's only rooting for the Raiders because he hopes it'll give him a nice payout. Which, fine, but why pick the Raiders? Who even is their quarterback? They're in a division that sent three teams to the playoffs last year. Jack is such a maroon, and his Manly Man I Watch Football Hurr larp is as unconvincing now as it was 15 years ago, when he was wearing that fucking XXXXL ESPN jersey where the sleeves were big enough to be ladies' bloomers.
 
Yep big budget jack here
View attachment 7664249
Yeah because a guy that gets over 2 million views a night, makes $15 million a year and rules that late night slot and some stroked out retard on youtube are totally the same.

He's only rooting for the Raiders because he hopes it'll give him a nice payout. Which, fine, but why pick the Raiders? Who even is their quarterback? They're in a division that sent three teams to the playoffs last year. Jack is such a maroon, and his Manly Man I Watch Football Hurr larp is as unconvincing now as it was 15 years ago, when he was wearing that fucking XXXXL ESPN jersey where the sleeves were big enough to be ladies' bloomers.
He's only rooting for the Raiders as he's admitted he only goes for the underdog.
 
Of course Jack is a Cowboys and Raiders fan. A pair of white trash teams for a white trash bitch.
At least he's not an Eagles fans. They pelt Santa with snowballs and riot if they reach the Super Bowl.
Yeah because a guy that gets over 2 million views a night, makes $15 million a year and rules that late night slot and some stroked out retard on youtube are totally the same.
If Stephen Colbert (who gave us the horror that is Skibidi Biden) is a blockbuster film, then Jack is The Asylum.
 
He's only rooting for the Raiders as he's admitted he only goes for the underdog.
Yes, but when one says "underdog" it sounds almost admirable; and in sports, Jack doesn't care if David beats Goliath. He just wants that sweet payout. In his livestream this morning (around 2:30-3:00 minutes in), he said he bet $40 on the Raiders to win the Super Bowl this year in hopes it'll pay out thousands. He's banking on Tom Brady Magic™ to rub off on the team, and he's trying to replicate the fact that in 2002, he bet $20 on "the California Angels" (now the L.A. Angels) as a longshot and it paid out two grand.
 
Unless your team does something insane -- like say, "Hey! Fuck Breast Cancer Awareness month! Go, cancer!" -- stick with your goddamn team.
To be fair, the Susan G. Komen Foundation in particular is a scam and a joke charity that spends most of its money on fundraising for itself.
 
I've been laughing and shaking my head at that FB post from Jack all day - It may have set a new precedent for how delusional he is in his capacity as a morbidly obese, disabled charity case of a slob in a wheelchair who fancies himself famous, influential, and well-liked - yet simultaneously underrated and persecuted for his beliefs on the level of Christ (who, like Colbert, Jack considers a peer). There are so many levels past the "meat as a security blanket" tip of the Jack Fatberg, and often of a nature as incomprehensible as a Lovecraftian deity.
 
The question remains if she should do it during extreme heat or extreme cold. Now I always thought during extreme cold was the way to go. Jack would have limbs he can’t feel freeze and die. But extreme heat wouldn’t do that. He’d just slowly deep fry inside his own decaying carcass, he’d probably start eating his clothing if he could get to it with his gimpy arm and useless legs.
Heat for revenge, cold for efficiency. If she stranded him outdoors in the cold, at night, there's an intensifier on the exposure, plus an alibi for how she didn't notice he was outside for 8+ hours.
 
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