LaughJoke2.0
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2023
Dear God, the Thumbnail it legit looks like vomit coming out of those abominations.
Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2019
That isn't even a recipe. Thats what a college student makes when they are stoned for a week.
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
My personal headcanon when it comes to Wacko Re: his marriage to Tammy is that she bitchslaps him all the time off-camera. Both she and Jr. have been shown to be extremely fed up with his bullshit on camera to the point Jr. even forced him to stop filming (and he uploaded anyway). I'm pretty sure when she's had it with him she's given him a verbal smackdown. Jack is 100% bitchmade. He might put on this persona of being a manly man for the camera but he doesn't have the ovaries to ask for the manager. The way he reacts to her not doing exactly as he wants is that of a whipped dog.
Super Hans v2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Of course Jack is a Cowboys and Raiders fan. A pair of white trash teams for a white trash bitch.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2021
She really needs to wheel him outside during extreme weather, and remotely brick his phone. Leaving Jack there to demand, then cry, then plead, then whimper until he’s absolutely emotional putty for her.
The question remains if she should do it during extreme heat or extreme cold. Now I always thought during extreme cold was the way to go. Jack would have limbs he can’t feel freeze and die. But extreme heat wouldn’t do that. He’d just slowly deep fry inside his own decaying carcass, he’d probably start eating his clothing if he could get to it with his gimpy arm and useless legs.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
But to Fatty it's great because he's getting what he wants. Meat, cheese and gets to pretend like he's only tasting them because he's totally carnivore there guys.
And even then... you take a small tortilla, slather some of the sauce on it, add your toppings and bake that way.
Voila! Thin crust pizza. All Fatty did was roll one up and put the sauce on the side.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
The stoned fratboy would do a better job. I don't know how he made it look that vile. Every now and again I'll make a sort of lazy quesadilla with pizza ingredients and it never looks like that. It somehow looks moldy and the contents look like vomit.
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2020
Yep big budget jack here
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Who would've guessed a lazy fat ass just mumbling into the camera only took one person to make while a late night show watched by millions of people took more people?
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2025
And he's not even a real fan of either team.
- He's refusing to root for the Cowboys this season because Dak something something, which is lame as shit and means he was never a real fan to begin with (which we already knew, because Jack doesn't sincerely root for anything except his own base desires). Unless your team does something insane -- like say, "Hey! Fuck Breast Cancer Awareness month! Go, cancer!" -- stick with your goddamn team. If Browns fans can endure, then so can you.
- Also, Dak is what he is: a statistically good quarterback who falters in the postseason. That makes him almost exactly like every other statistically good QB in the last 20 years who wasn't named Brady. I'm not saying Dak is amazing -- their 2023 wildcard game against the Packers was literal high comedy -- but the Cowboys haven't had a good coach since arguably 2006 (Parcells), and Jerry Jones has been an active detriment since at least the turn of the century. And they've still produced 16 winning seasons in that time.
- If you can't just stick it out and enjoy the ride as every other sports show on earth gives WAY too much airtime to your "iconic" team, then you are, as @the khat quaffer said, absolutely bitchmade.
- Next Jack will tell us he's no longer rooting for the Yankees because Aaron Judge is bad at base running.
- Also, Dak is what he is: a statistically good quarterback who falters in the postseason. That makes him almost exactly like every other statistically good QB in the last 20 years who wasn't named Brady. I'm not saying Dak is amazing -- their 2023 wildcard game against the Packers was literal high comedy -- but the Cowboys haven't had a good coach since arguably 2006 (Parcells), and Jerry Jones has been an active detriment since at least the turn of the century. And they've still produced 16 winning seasons in that time.
I wonder why Jack isn't a Bills fan? Granted, they've never had a successful season that didn't end in heartbreak, and it's clear his sad pissbaby brain can't handle anything but winning the Super Bowl, but otherwise it seems a good match:
- Buffalo isn't in his hated New York City that he wants to see burn to the ground
- Josh Allen is big and tall and strong and white
- Bills Mafia as a name seems custom-made for Jack, the Sauditalian, to love
- The other big names are out: Mahomes is evil because refs, Jackson wears cornrows and grills, and Burrow is WOLK
- He's only rooting for the Raiders because he hopes it'll give him a nice payout. Which, fine, but why pick the Raiders? Who even is their quarterback? They're in a division that sent three teams to the playoffs last year. Jack is such a maroon, and his Manly Man I Watch Football Hurr larp is as unconvincing now as it was 15 years ago, when he was wearing that fucking XXXXL ESPN jersey where the sleeves were big enough to be ladies' bloomers.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
Yeah because a guy that gets over 2 million views a night, makes $15 million a year and rules that late night slot and some stroked out retard on youtube are totally the same.
He's only rooting for the Raiders as he's admitted he only goes for the underdog.
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
At least he's not an Eagles fans. They pelt Santa with snowballs and riot if they reach the Super Bowl.
If Stephen Colbert (who gave us the horror that is Skibidi Biden) is a blockbuster film, then Jack is The Asylum.
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2025
Yes, but when one says "underdog" it sounds almost admirable; and in sports, Jack doesn't care if David beats Goliath. He just wants that sweet payout. In his livestream this morning (around 2:30-3:00 minutes in), he said he bet $40 on the Raiders to win the Super Bowl this year in hopes it'll pay out thousands. He's banking on Tom Brady Magic™ to rub off on the team, and he's trying to replicate the fact that in 2002, he bet $20 on "the California Angels" (now the L.A. Angels) as a longshot and it paid out two grand.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
To be fair, the Susan G. Komen Foundation in particular is a scam and a joke charity that spends most of its money on fundraising for itself.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
If Colbert is a blockbuster film, Jack is Coleman Francis.
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
How many A-list celebrities has Jack booked in a given week?
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
The same amount as Russell Greer.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2018
Don't worry, Jack will totally get that CIA guy, Tucker Carlson, and Donald Trump on his show because he's a celebrity chef (according to himself)
Marc
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2022
I've been laughing and shaking my head at that FB post from Jack all day - It may have set a new precedent for how delusional he is in his capacity as a morbidly obese, disabled charity case of a slob in a wheelchair who fancies himself famous, influential, and well-liked - yet simultaneously underrated and persecuted for his beliefs on the level of Christ (who, like Colbert, Jack considers a peer). There are so many levels past the "meat as a security blanket" tip of the Jack Fatberg, and often of a nature as incomprehensible as a Lovecraftian deity.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
Heat for revenge, cold for efficiency. If she stranded him outdoors in the cold, at night, there's an intensifier on the exposure, plus an alibi for how she didn't notice he was outside for 8+ hours.