Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Sexy Potoo]

Best just not have heroes at all. Heroes are fags. Be your own hero.

"Heroes are fags. Be your own hero."

Did you just tell us to be a fag?

 

[Niggernerd]

Nick has steel toe numbers

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He also looks fucked up in unique ways every stream

This stream his head looks like a disheveled, sweaty rectangle

Nick claims his older kids didn't want to hang out with him today (smart kids)

The fuck is up with his face?

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Pretty sure he's the troll here, or he runs over to his ex-lover's containment board to slurp up what the Redditors there are reeeeing about.

He just reads his own thread and then punches himself in the face repeatedly in tard rage at how we’re right.

 

[Folgers Can]

Tuned in to the Kurt Show feat. Balldo for a minute. He read out this superchat and just looked kind of uncomfortable for some reason, didn't even squeeze out a fake HA HA HA!

I know it's not news that the Balldo is Balding, but which Norwood is this? It's weird and patchy, like a dog with mange.

Does Nick have cancer and is undergoing radiation therapy?

Kicking a dead horse here, but an early terminal diagnosis that he has refused to elaborate about still remains the most fitting explanation for the mysterious "worst day ever" just a few short years ago, his later speedrunning what could have been a normal midlife crisis into a ditch like there's no tomorrow, his even later exhibiting little to no effort toward rebuilding and growing a sustainable career as opposed to just clinging to enough of a platform to settle scores with a few enemies with what little time he has left, and his even later displaying more and more symptoms like the blue fingers, beet-red nose, legs suddenly "forgetting how to walk," and now this patchy mange.

As if that wasn't enough, last night there was that bizarre moment that @Something Awful pointed out where he couldn't even muster his usual fake, forced jovial response to a particular superchat and instead his expression gets more and more glum, to the point of even visibly choking up and swallowing as if struggling to hold back tears at the superchat's somber reminder of his mortality, followed by a long awkward pause. It seemed worth clipping, and if you look close you just can't unsee it:

Yeah yeah yeah, of course the counterargument will always be that he wouldn't stay silent about it and would surely milk it for pity points, but just as easily he might prefer to portray a brash persona with a sense of invincibility just to make sure followers continue to feel invested long-term, and/or as a cope to distract himself from the reality of what's coming. In that case he may never break the news even in later stages like Lead Attorney or Scott Adams did, and may just up and kick the bucket one day without telling anybody like how Norm MacDonald took the secret to his grave to immortalize his "I didn't know he was sick" bit.

The only question left at this point is differential diagnosis. The patchy mange from radiation treatment around the head, the overall mental decline, and the legs "forgetting to walk" would all line up well with a brain tumor, not quite so aggressive as a glioblastoma which would have taken him out mere months after the "worst day ever," and perhaps just along the lines of an oligodendroglioma that unfortunately would take years to get the damned job done. On the other hand, due to the prior history of heat rashes I'd still lean more toward some sort of autoimmune etiology. Granted, it's never lupus, but rheumatoid arthritis has been known to contribute to such "patchy" alopecia areata, and is also strongly associated with rheumatoid vasculitis that can lead to both the red nose and blue fingers that everyone was so quick to blame on whippets. That still leaves out the legs forgetting to walk, but if the guy's genes are so fucked that his own immune system is attacking his tissues in all these other ways, it wouldn't be surprising if it set its gunsights on his brain next with a case of multiple sclerosis to deliver the coup de grace, as there is a positive correlation making dual diagnosis of RA and MS common in the same patient. I prefer this scenario solely for the poetic justice, as all the times he talked shit about Johnny Krutches can be followed by someday needing to borrow his nickname.

Wildcard: his somber reaction could have been from pondering the creeping mortality of someone close, such as Kayla. In that event I'm putting my money on late-onset Huntington's Disease, for its explanation of the disturbingly contorted facial expressions, sanpaku eyes, eventual reluctance to have her seen in public, and above all, rampant hypersexuality.

Spoiler

t. non-doctor

 

[Chibitzen]

I'm going through some Elissa clips from around the arrest trying to figure out why Nick looks so beaten down and greasy now, even though he's clearly gained some of the weight back and should be healthier. Came upon the time when Nick was really ghoul-maxxing, he had that gaunt strung out face but decided to get a haircut that he really cannot pull off.
View attachment 7677284
I know it's not news that the Balldo is Balding, but which Norwood is this? It's weird and patchy, like a dog with mange.
View attachment 7677266View attachment 7677275View attachment 7677298

He's a master at looking like a felon. There are people who think that looks attractive.

 

[Sneed Force One]

My favourite haircut era was the immediate post-arrest fashy cut.
Weird for him to attempt to copy the german Übermensch look, despite looking like a Auschwitz victim.

 

[Chibitzen]

"Heroes are fags. Be your own hero."

Did you just tell us to be a fag?

"Be your own faggot"

 

[Sneed Force One]

@Folgers Can I chalk it up to a cocktail of cachexia from Jamaican-imported AIDS, compounded by immunosuppression after a run-in with swinger stripper dick, and naturally, toxoplasmosis followed, courtesy of his principled refusal to clean up cat shit.

 

[Vibralldo]

t. non-doctor

Nick fucking his brain and body so much that he's indistinguishable from a terminal cancer patient would be very funny

 

[SterilizedGlowsticks]

He just reads his own thread and then punches himself in the face repeatedly in tard rage at how we’re right.

Nah he's too much of a coward to directly read his thread, he just gets his echo chamber to curate specific out of context pieces that he can more easily skew into his bullshit slant.

 

[Tiger Jack]

Jesus Christ, he doesn't have fucking cancer. He's just over 40 and not happy about it.

 

[Sneed Force One]

Alternatively, he is so spiritually corrupt, God decided to disable his Gommorah-bound body for a day, for kicks.

 

[Pentamidine]

Every so often I'll feed Nick's signs and symptoms into an LLM but leave out the drug abuse, and it always hypothesizes (among other things) B12 deficiency. I'm thinking he's just whippiting himself to death because he is an addict and cannot stay sober.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Kurt is ignoring Nick like he's a bowl of fruit salad.

Be honest, do you stop and stare at drug addicts on the street begging for your attention? or do you correctly walk by without saying or even looking at them?

 

[dustnight]

I'm going through some Elissa clips from around the arrest trying to figure out why Nick looks so beaten down and greasy now, even though he's clearly gained some of the weight back and should be healthier. Came upon the time when Nick was really ghoul-maxxing, he had that gaunt strung out face but decided to get a haircut that he really cannot pull off.
View attachment 7677284
I know it's not news that the Balldo is Balding, but which Norwood is this? It's weird and patchy, like a dog with mange.
View attachment 7677266View attachment 7677275View attachment 7677298

He's OLD
He's ANGY
He's MANGY

Kicking a dead horse here, but an early terminal diagnosis that he has refused to elaborate about still remains the most fitting explanation for the mysterious "worst day ever" just a few short years ago, his later speedrunning what could have been a normal midlife crisis into a ditch like there's no tomorrow, his even later exhibiting little to no effort toward rebuilding and growing a sustainable career as opposed to just clinging to enough of a platform to settle scores with a few enemies with what little time he has left, and his even later displaying more and more symptoms like the blue fingers, beet-red nose, legs suddenly "forgetting how to walk," and now this patchy mange.

As if that wasn't enough, last night there was that bizarre moment that @Something Awful pointed out where he couldn't even muster his usual fake, forced jovial response to a particular superchat and instead his expression gets more and more glum, to the point of even visibly choking up and swallowing as if struggling to hold back tears at the superchat's somber reminder of his mortality, followed by a long awkward pause. It seemed worth clipping, and if you look close you just can't unsee it:

It could also explain why his parents are seemingly so complacent.

 

[Depressed_Oni]

With the things happening within Aaron’s court case, I try to understand how anyone who is a parent would allow someone like Mapton to refer to their daughter as a “cup holder”. People in this thread see Aaron as more likable when compared to the likes of Nick, but the fact recently started pushing out the HROs is fucking stupid. You have a cracked out, withering fail lawyer and a spineless wanna be radio personality and with all the back and forth I think they deserve each other at this point.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

It could also explain why his parents are seemingly so complacent.

They've always been like this, and so has Nick. What was it they supposedly told April when she crashed at Bob and Celeste's place in Wilmar? "We know our son, we know how he can get."

 

[woodedbag]

My last two days of targeted IG ads seem to be telling me that I took the Rekieta maxing too far

 

[Potentially Cat Mom]

@Potentially Cat Mom You better not (il)legally enter into public court zoom hearings again or Mr. Rekieta will have another meltdown.
Enjoy prison Kiwi Stalker.

Prison? Can my cat volunteer to kill all the mice in government building for 10 eight hours a day instead?

 

[Duke of Wellington]

Every time I see Nick he looks like he needs a shower.